Disclaimer: not mine
Butter and Rolls
"I think someone is following us." Alex said turning quickly on her heal. She didn't see anyone but she couldn't shake the feeling.
"Don't be so paranoid!"
"Shut up George. If anything happens to me I'll blame you. My parents weren't too happy about last time and they might just kill me if they find out I've been running around causing mischief with you two again."
"But imagine Dumbledore without his long beard. It would be quite funny if you ask me. It must have taken him centuries to grow it that long." Fred commented.
"Yeah, and that is why he might get really angry." Alex said. "And may I ask why my hair was supposed to be in a ponytail for this? And why couldn't I wear my skirt? If all we're doing is cutting off Dumbledore's beard-"
Fred cut her off by wrapping his hand over her mouth. "Shut up! We don't want anyone to hear you!"
"Ah so we're not going to be cutting off Dumbledore's beard then, eh? Well then I suppose you drugged me because you told me the real story and then tried to cover your tracks because you thought I'd open my big mouth and tell the whole school. You didn't need to go to all the trouble. I always keep your secrets." Alex pulled away from Fred as she pieced it all together.
"Don't flatter yourself. We were testing one of our treats on you, but we knew we'd never get you to agree otherwise." Fred stated in a matter of fact way.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere until I know the full story." Alex planted her feet where she stood.
"Well that's too bad 'cause we have other ideas in mind for you." And with those words Fred picked Alex up and threw her over his shoulder. "Wow Alex, what have you been eating? You're getting heavier than Ron!"
"Take that back right now!" Alex fumed. "And may I remind you that I didn't want to come along on this stupid escapade!"
"Stupid escapade? I am insulted!" George gawked. He took his hand and pretended to stab himself through the heart. "You're killing me Alex."
"Oh shut up." George grinned at her and Fred purposely bounced her around as he walked.
"If you don't watch it, I'll hit you where it hurts the most!" Alex gestured towards George's groin.
"Hey, that's below the belt! We don't go there!" George argued. Fred was laughing silently to himself.
"You may not, but I do! Now let me down!" When they had finally reached one of the secret passages to Hogsmead, Fred dropped Alex on the ground.
"What a way to treat a lady." She mumbled to herself.
"You call yourself a lady?" George joked. Before he could even react Angelina knocked him to the ground beside her.
"Watch it. I'm tired, I've been kidnapped, and I'm armed." She pulled out her wand and stuck it in George's face.
"Oh, come on Alex, you know you're going to love it." Fred gently pushed her wand away from George and helped his brother up. He offered Alex his hand. She slowly put her wand away and took it. He pulled her up.
"And you can stop with the badass attitude. We know better." Alex glared at George. He led them into a secret passage way, a large tunnel covered in dirt and dust. It had obviously been unused for many years and was large enough for all three of them to walk side by side and stand fully upright. Faintly in the distance Alex thought she heard water dripping. "Lumos." George muttered as he pulled out his wand, which illuminated the room instantly.
"Somebody, please explain what is going on!" Alex exclaimed, exasperated.
"Now that would ruin all the fun, wouldn't it? You don't want us to ruin it for you, do you Alex?" George taunted.
"We don't want everything to be spoiled." Fred explained. "Plus, don't you just love when we lead you into a mystery. I know mysterious boys turn you on." Fred added suggestively in a kidding manner.
"And wouldn't you like that?" Angelina retorted. When Fred smiled in return, she exclaimed, "I can't believe you are even thinking of that right now!" Alex followed reluctantly as the boys started down the tunnel. Before long Alex found the source of the dripping water and her mood did not improve as she trampled through mud after the boys. "I don't know why I put up with you boys." She grumbled to herself. Deep down she knew they were her best friends and she loved them but they were quite a bit of work.
"Maybe it's because we're devilishly good looking." Fred suggested.
"Or incredibly charming." George added.
"Or maybe it's our humor."
"Or even our smiles."
"Or maybe it's how well we form brilliant plans!" Despites herself, Alex laughed. "Maybe it's none of those. Maybe I just heard you were in good in bed from other girls." Both boys stopped dead and looked at her. "Don't get any ideas! I was only joking."
"Shame." Said Fred shaking his head.
"Truly a shame." George agreed. "And to think I was just about to say maybe it's the sex." Alex giggled.
"You boys are so horny." She muttered.
"Like you're not!" George acted highly offended.
"I'm not like you, I don't think about it constantly!"
"Or so you say!"
"Hey guys, we have to crawl through a smaller tunnel." Fred shouted from a little further ahead.
"Ladies first." George held his hand out to the tunnel.
"Oh no. No, no, no. One of you will go first. I will not have you checking out my ass, as I crawl through some stupid tunnel!"
"George, I think she's onto us." Fred laughed. George crawled in first, then Alex, then Fred. Fred whistled as he crawled in after Alex.
"Fred Weasley! If I could slap you right now I would!"
"You'd think you would actually appreciate the attention we give you Alex." Fred sighed.
"Well maybe if the attention was coming from someone much sexier, like say Draco Malfoy, I'd appreciate it more. I hear he's a beast in the bedroom, you know." Alex wished she could have seen their faces, but their gasps we're enough.
"I can't believe you would say such a thing!" George exclaimed. "After all we've done for you!"
"She tells us we think about sex all the time." Fed muttered. In a voice mimicking Alex's he said, "Well maybe its cause I heard you were good in bed. Oh Draco Malfoy, he shags like the devil, ohhh!"
"Damn straight!" Alex stopped crawling and just laughed. She didn't stop until Fred shoved her.
"We have to keep going." After that Alex was in a much better mood.
Behind them Harry and Ron were getting increasingly uncomfortable. Ron had never seen his brothers flirt with a girl before. And it was embarrassing for both of them to hear all the banter about sex. Ron wasn't sure if they were only teasing or not.
A little while later, the three of them showed up under Honeydukes. George sat on the stairs waiting for Fred to finish crawling through the tunnel. Alex sat on the step below George. "Hey George, when we get back, how 'bout we have some fun." Alex traced her hand down George's knee. He jumped up in surprise and crashed into the trapdoor above his head, causing it to fly open. George let out a yelp as the storeowner screamed and Alex fell to the ground laughing. Fred had only just walked out of the tunnel when the Store's owner stuck her head in through the trapdoor. "I should have known! Fred Weasley! You're mother will be hearing about this!"
"Wait! Wait! I can explain." Fred looked thoroughly surprised.
"You were sneaking away from school again! Breaking into my shop!" Fred looked completely bewildered at the woman shouted at him. He glanced at Alex who only shrugged in response. Secretly, Alex was enjoying Fred being put on the spot; usually she was the one to deflect a situation.
"Somebody get her some butter, she's on a roll!" Alex whispered to George who fought to keep himself from laughing. Fred shot Alex a deadly look.
"Have I ever stole from your store, or broken in?" Fred asked.
"Well no."
"Exactly. Please don't tell anyone. My mother would murder us. This is a very important mission." Fred was trying his best to be charming. The woman hastily shook her head.
"Yes, if Fred doesn't get his candy fix soon, someone's going to die." Alex said completely seriously. George started to shake in silent laughs. Alex fought to keep her face straight at this sight.
The store keeper smiled. ""Fine. But be quick. You always cause trouble."
Fred gave her his sweetest smile. "That's my middle name."
"You know George; I was only joking when I did that." Alex said. "You caused us so much unneeded trouble." She smiled, jokingly.
"What a way to treat a guy. No wonder no one fancies you." Alex gasped and then glared at George.
"I've seen that look too many times to be intimidated." George loved pushing every button she had.
"No one fancies me because you two won't let them! One top of that everyone already thinks I'm with one of you or both of you."
"You shouldn't complain. Plenty of girls would anything to be in that position. Like you said, we're good in bed." George gave her his most charming smile.
"Would you too stop it? We could have been in serious trouble because of you guys." Alex could tell Fred was a bit upset.
"Sorry Fred. But you must admit for everything you have done to me this is nothing. And it's not like you aren't an excellent con artist anyway." He smiled and she knew she was forgiven.
"And we do not stop anyone from fancying you. You do that fine on your own." Fred added the last little dig quietly and flinched when Alex moved.
"I'm not going to hit you." He relaxed and 'accidentally' smashed his foot. She smiled sweetly at him.
"You have to stop!" Fred said as he helped her through the trap door.
"May I ask what we are doing here now?" Alex inquired.
"Well, Alex the truth is we just felt like going for a trip. We do have something big planned but everything's not ready yet. But we wanted to make sure you would come along." Fred said this gently with a large smile.
"And it was an added bonus to see you all upset." George added.
Alex looked at them. "Well that was lame. Of course I'd help you. Well, as long as I wouldn't be expelled or killed. But what are you planning?" She inquired.
"We can't tell you yet."
Alex sighed. "You guys are so lucky I'm nice because I should hurt you both for waking me up for this. But luckily I am feeling generous. Let's pig out on some candy!" The boys looked relieved that they wouldn't be getting slugged anytime soon. "Oh and it's your paying for anything I want because you dragged me out here."
"I think we can handle that." Fred smiled as they all shot into the store to taste the newest creations.
Harry and Ron had followed Fed, George, and Alex all the way to Honeydukes. When they found out that Fred and George really didn't have anything planned, they both grew angry. "That was a complete waste of time! We didn't learn anything. Except that maybe Alex is a little more loose than we thought." Ron whined. Harry thought about this a moment. Harry grinned. "Well, why not just let everyone know that Alex knows, 'Draco shags like the devil', as your brother so eloquently put it."
"But what about Fred and George?" Ron asked.
"Well didn't Alex also say something about being their friend because they were 'good in bed'? There we go. We can let everyone think they are only shagging partners." Harry grinned.
"Do you know how stupid you sound? First of all no one will believe us. Second Hermione will kill us. Third, what Fred, George, and Alex did was not nearly as cruel."
Harry frowned. "I guess you're right."
"You are such a git Harry!"