Disclaimer: I don't own much. Up until recently, I thought I owed my heart. But no. It was brutally stolen and coldly dismantled.
AN: Just a little something I wrote on the train to London today. Its not a very long journey to Lonon, hence the length of the story.
Lyrics are by Keane, On a Day Like Today.
As always, I'd like to apologize in advance for any English nonsense found.
On a Day Like Today
Logan slowly woke up to the buzzing sound of his cell phone. "Just great" he thought to himself as he rubbed the wonderful concept of sleep from his eyes. It was Sunday morning and as far as he was concerned there was absolutely no reason for this blasted phone to ring at… 7 am… Logan groaned soundly as soon as he saw the bright red flashing digits of his alarm clock. The annoying phone kept dancing around on his nightstand, and before sleep yet again took him as its captive, he reached out for it.
He hadn't as much as pressed the little green button before a familiar voice, which he allocated as his fathers, made sure that if he wasn't awake before, he definitely was by now.
As the man kept on telling him off, using every negatively charged word in the dictionary, the events from the night before came flying back to him.
God, he had really managed to mess it up this time, big time to say the least.
Usually, he had something or someone to blame when he messed up as tremendous as he had done the previous day. But this time, although it would've been convenient to be able to blame either the wonderful concept f alcohol or its best friend, this time it was entirely his own fault.
He, Logan Huntzberger, had without a second thought broken the one thing in his life he valued the most.
He had single handed broken her heart. Rory's heart.
She had put her heart on the line, told him that she loved him.
And what had he done? Had he smiled at her, hugged or at least told her the truth, the truth being that the feeling was mutual? No, of course he hadn't.
That would have been the sensible thing to do, and since when did you find the words of Logan Huntzberger and sensible in the same sentence? Not exactly often.
No, he has just stared at her dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. Or more true; not knowing how to tell her.
Her heart wasn't the only thing he had broken. Nope, he had broken a few bottles in pure frustration and he would probably have to look into getting a new coffee table.
As he made a mental note to himself about choosing another material than glass for his new table, he realised that the list of broken objects didn't end with these brittle materials.
He had also managed to break something else, something he up until this date thought was unbreakable. Something he up until recently didn't even know existed.
He had broken his own heart.
However, at the moment, that seemed to be the least of his problems.
One could possibly say that the source of Logan's inability of admitting emotions could be traced back to his parents. He himself was perfectly aware of the fact that he had grown up in an ice castle, his parents being the ice queen and the ice king respectably.
No, affection weren't something that flowed freely around in the Huntzberger mansion.
If he wanted a hug from his dad, he would have to make sure he booked it three weeks in advance, seeing that his father's Filofax held more words than an encyclopaedia and had a weight greater than himself.
He had always promised himself that he was never to turn into his father, or mother for that matter. He wanted to care for someone and recently he had discovered that this someone carried the name of Rory Gilmore. His Ace.
Just the sound of her name brought a smile to his face. Not a smirk, but a rare yet genuine smile.
Though, as reality claimed him back, the smile was sadly long gone.
Sighing, he brushed away the source to his blurred vision and grabbed his coat. He had to get some damage control done.
But first, he needed coffee. Yes, it was sad but true; the source of his pain had kindly made him addicted to the steaming hot liquid.
Slamming the door behind him, he walked out in the autumn breeze walking goal oriented towards his goal.
As he turned the corner to the coffee stand, he stopped dead in his tracks.
On a day like today
I looked at you and I
Saw something in the way
You stared into the sky
Although he could only see the back of her head, he didn't have any problems recognising her. He could hear her voice thanking the man handing her the Styrofoam cup, and quickly realised that it wasn't the wind that was sending chills down his spine.
He saw how her hair danced a free dance as she turned around, and sadly how her smile faded the moment she saw him.
When she looked up, the pathetic remains of his heart were completely dismantled. He could see the pain swimming in her eyes. And he knew that he was the one and only reason the sapphires didn't reflect light anymore.
How could he let this happen? How could he possibly hurt the most precious thing in his life? How?
I saw you were sick
And tired of my wrong turns
If you only knew the way I feel
I'd really love to tell you
He really wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her everything. To tell her that he had been a bastard, to tell her that he had been jealous. To tell her that he was sorry for everything, sorry for his existence that had caused her so much pain.
But most of all he wanted to tell her that he loved her. Oh yes, he wanted more than anything to tell her those three little words he should have told her the moment he realised that they were on the other side of the equal sign in his equation.
She had given him chance after chance to tell her. And he had refrained from proceeding time after time.
But I could never seem to say the things I needed to
On a day like today no other words would do
She looked at him while biting her lip. He looked at her while playing with his fingers.
What they both had in common was that they were both aching to hold the other in their arms, both focusing really hard on each their point in order not to let the tears run in free fall. Her brain screamed to forgive him, but the remains of her shattered heart argued against it. Could she possibly risk it again?
Unaware of the internal fight she was fighting, he took a slight step forward not entirely trusting his voice to carry the sound of his heart.
He stepped a few steps close, until he could feel her breath on his face.
God, it was amazing how even her breath affected him.
Standing in front of her, he opened his mouth to speak.
Smiling a weak but sad smile, she put her fingers up to his mouth and whispered for him to remain quiet. Everything that needed to be said had been said. She had heard everything she needed, well in this case not needed, to hear.
He had made his point pretty clear the day before and as a result she was now standing in front of him with a cold cup of coffee and no heart. All empty and cold.
She hadn't wanted to be the ice princess but it wasn't like he wasn't used to this kind of coldness, he had after all grown up in an ice castle.
They say that the only language one understands is the language of one's upbringing.
No, nothing he could say could make things better. Everything had been said. God, it had hurt, but it had been said nonetheless.
There was nothing left to say. Nothing.
I saw you were sick
And tired of my wrong turns
If you only knew the way I feel
I'd really love to tell you
She looked at him a last time, her expression filled with sadness.
"Goodbye, Logan" she whispered as she removed her fingers from his mouth.
He closed his eyes slowly, hoping to open them and find her still standing in front of him.
But I could never seem to say the things I needed to
On a day like today no other words would do
As he opened his eyes, he saw her walking away, her hair resting peacefully at her shoulders.
It was too late. He had lost her. It was too late.
But I can never find the words to say and I don't know why
I can't find the words to say and I don't know why
"I love you, Rory" his words finally escaped his mouth and flew out in the autumn breeze. Getting lost in people's conversations and the laughter of playing children, never reaching her.
They would never reach her.
Never.
Please read and review, it would give me sunshine on acloudy day :)