She shouldered her bag, grabbing another off the conveyor belt, and avoided the series of drivers insisting they offered the best rates. Ignoring them did little to deter their noble efforts to earn her patronage but she dodged them and headed toward the woman holding a hand-written sign with her name on it. The potential drivers slunk away to seek out other unsuspecting customers and the woman dropped her bags to embrace the sign holding woman.

"Good to see you Mary."

"I wish it was under better circumstances but same to you." Mary hugged her back before sniffing at her. "Anna?"

"Yeah?" Anna stopped, her bags almost back in their original positions.

"Have you been drinking?"

"They say you should have eight glasses of water a day and I try to keep hydrated so, yes, I have been drinking."

Mary scowled at her, "Have you been drinking alcohol?"

"I may've had a bit more than medically recommended."

"Are you drunk?"

"No," Anna raised a finger, "I'm hung over. There's a distinct difference."

Mary closed her eyes, sighing in concert with the hand she dragged over her face before speaking again. "How'd you get hung over?"

"The way people normally do, I got drunk hours ago."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to drink a lot and now I'm trying to get back to reality." Anna shrugged, "Don't worry, I didn't embarrass myself. I've always been pretty good at holding my liquor and this isn't any different."

"Oh I know all about the 'thank you for participating' cards you handed out to anyone who tried to out drink you at Uni."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"Other than how bloody unprofessional it is?"

"Other than that."

Mary studied her a moment before nodding her head, taking them out of the airport and toward the carpark. "You're broke, Anna, so you couldn't have afforded enough alcohol to be hung over enough that I can smell it after your two-day flight from Leeds."

"The benefit of being a lovely blonde female, like myself, is that people just buy you drinks." Anna snorted as she reached for her sunglasses. "Like the lovely gentleman on the plane who bought me what the man in the airport didn't."

"You seduced two men to get drunk?"

"No."

"Then how'd you get them to buy you drinks?"

"I just played on their desire to try and seduce me by getting me drunk."

"That's not very different."

"I beg to differ, there's a distinct difference between the two." Anna took a breath, "They just make the two classic mistakes."

"Which ones?"

"First, thinking they could drink me under the table in the first place. Second, thinking that buying me drinks earned them a chance to sleep with me."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Sleep with them?"

"Hell no." Anna shook her head, "I've got standards."

"Which are?"

"Any man who tries to outdrink me isn't worth the effort."

Mary led Anna to a car but stopped her getting in it. "You do realize that you're here pending further review, yes? That if I find your work or your overall performance less than satisfactory I'll have to report back to the Home Office and they sack you?"

"I'm sure your father'll try to dissuade you and them from giving me the boot."

"He'll try but this is my assignment and my office. I won't let anyone, not even you, ruin this for me." Mary paused, taking a breath. "Mumbai's a chance, Anna, to put the past behind you. For good and proper."

"I know."

"I don't want you to screw this up for yourself."

"I know that too." Anna put her bags in the car but did not follow. "But you've not asked the bigger questions here."

"Such as?"

"Whether or not I even want a further review." Anna turned a circle in the carpark and shrugged, "What if I should really consider this whole incident as a sign that I need to find another life? That I need to leave this one for good."

"And what would you do if you left?"

"Don't kid."

"I'm being serious." Mary folded her arms to lean on the car. "What would you do if this weren't your job? Go around beating up ten-year-olds? Or worse, become some kind of vigilante administering her own form of justice?"

"Neither of those options pays the bills Mary."

"That's a no, then?"

"No." Anna shook her head, pulling her hair up to stop it sticking to her neck in the heat and humidity. "I don't know what else I'd do. That's why I'm here, pending further review, hoping to find something."

"And you'll be here? Not just in body but in spirit and mind and-"

"I'm here for the duration, Mary. However long you decide that'll be."

Mary pursed her lips, "That's… I'm not overly confident about that attitude, Anna."

"It wasn't said to comfort you. It's a fact."

"Then get ready for another fact." Mary opened the door to allow Anna into the car. "You're meeting with our shrink first thing."

"Tomorrow?"

"Now." Mary got into the driver's seat. "Welcome to Mumbai."

They drove through the congested traffic for almost an hour before Mary pulled the car outside a nondescript building. Anna said nothing as she listened to the tones of the buttons Mary pushed to get them through the gate and into the courtyard where they parked the car. The silence sat for the few moments it took the car to shudder and attempt to cool before Mary opened her door.

"Come on."

Anna left the car, absorbing the sounds of life around the building as she took in all the details to file them for later. She even took in the exact tone of the doorbell before a small woman opened it. A woman whose Scottish accent threw Anna for a loop.

"Is this my new friend?"

"That's up to her."

"I thought the term was patient?" Anna folded her arms over her chest. "That's what they normally call those who have to visit doctors."

"I prefer 'friend' as it removes the stigma."

"I'm still here."

"And now you know everything you need to about your new friend." Mary put a hand on Anna's shoulder, as introduction and a way to shove her forward. "Dr. Hughes, meet Anna Smith. Just got in… Technically about two hours ago. Ignore her obvious jet lag and the smell. It's only partially her coping mechanism and the rest of it is just alcohol."

"I hope you managed a good Scotch in there or it wasn't worth it."

"I always manage a good Scotch." Anna turned to Mary, "Are you waiting around or should I walk myself to wherever you'll dump my things?"

"I'll be in the waiting area." Mary moved into the corridor as Dr. Hughes stepped to the side and Anna followed her. "She's got a nice padded room for you."

"Ha, ha." Anna left Mary in the sitting room and followed Dr. Hughes into a back office with a steadily humming aircon. "Small mercies."

"I'll say." Dr. Hughes took a comfortable chair as Anna sat gingerly on the edge of a deceptively stuffy sofa. "Sorry, the furniture here leaves a bit to be desired."

"I've sat on worse." Anna perched on the cushion. "It's good enough."

"Good." Dr. Hughes grabbed a pad and a pen, crossed her legs, and studied Anna. "I'll have to say, it's lovely to meet you."

"Of course you have to say that."

"I'm sorry?"

"It's what everyone always says, 'it's lovely to meet you'." Anna shook her head, "Why do people always say that?"

"How'd you mean?"

"We're conditioned to say 'it's nice to meet you' but we don't mean it. Not really."

"You think I don't mean it?"

"I think it's an overused phrase we say because we're supposed to." Anna settled back slightly on the sofa. "And I don't think it applies to me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm not lovely to meet. They only say it because they've not met me yet."

"Then when could you say it?"

"At the end of the conversation… If it really was nice to meet me." Anna sighed and leaned back into the stiff sofa. "Sorry, we're here to talk about something else."

Dr. Hughes shrugged, spreading her hands. "We're here to talk, Anna, about whatever you want."

"But we're not, are we?" Anna offered a half-smile. "We're here to discuss if I'm able to return to work. If Mary can take me to the office or put me on the first flight back to England and bid me the fastest goodbye in my career."

"Do you think she should?"

"I don't know."

"I think you do know but you won't say it out loud."

"Saying it out loud would make it true."

Dr. Hughes stayed quiet a moment, "Do you think you should return to work?"

"I want to. I… I think I want to, anyway."

"But?"

Anna shrugged, "I don't know if work is what I want anymore." She laughed without mirth. "How crackers is that? I had to come all the way to Mumbai to wonder if I even want to work in the only job I ever wanted. In the only job I know how to do."

"It's not a bad thing to wonder if your life's going in the direction you want it to go."

"But that's not why I'm in this office."

"Isn't it?"

"I don't think so. My crises of faith didn't put me on your sofa."

"Then what did Anna?"

"Beating the shit out of Thomas Barrow."

Dr. Hughes laughed and shook her head. "That's an understatement."

"Is it?"

"According to the report they referred to me about you, you almost killed him."

"Hyperbole."

"Really?" Dr. Hughes pulled at a folder next to her chair and flipped the pages. "Says here that you broke all the bones in his right arm and hand."

"I did."

"And you call that hyperbole?"

"It was educational." Dr. Hughes raised her eyebrows and Anna only offered a shrug. "Now he can name all thirty-three bones from the tips of his fingers to his shoulder socket."

"This isn't funny." Dr. Hughes grew serious, "You could've killed the man."

"Doctor Hughes, if I wanted to kill Thomas Barrow I would have. In fewer moves and with far less effort than it took to clinically break his arm." Anna sat straighter, "I'm a professional and all the breaks were professional."

"Like the two you put in James Kent's arm not two weeks before this incident?"

Anna looked at the floor, dragging her toe along the tile line. "That was different."

"How so?"

"I did that during sex."

Dr. Hughes's eyebrows almost hit her hairline. "You broke his arm during sex? Did he try to assault your or-"

"It wasn't in self-defense or anything." Anna shook her head. "It was… I can't always control my reactions when I climax and since we were in hiding I didn't want to give away our position by screaming."

"Was this on the Green case?"

"Yes. Well…" Anna winced, "It was right after the Green case."

"And you and Mr. Kent were working as desk partners?"

"Yes."

Dr. Hughes made a note, "You do realize that what you did was-"

"Against regulations?" Anna nodded, "Yes, be both did. But it didn't mean anything."

"What about to him?"

"It didn't mean anything to either of us. At least not in the way you think."

"And what way do I think, Anna?"

"It wasn't about emotion or desire for each other." Anna bit at her lip, "We both needed to prove things to ourselves and it helped us let off steam."

"What did you have to prove?"

"He had to prove he wasn't gay."

"That was a worry he had?"

"I don't know." Anna flustered, "Some people just question themselves sometimes and he wanted to be sure he wasn't."

"Did you?"

"Question myself about being gay?" Anna shook her head, "No. Kissed Mary once in Uni but she was drunk and wanted to try it. Not a fan."

"So you don't have worries about being gay?"

"Not about that, no."

"What about James Kent being gay?"

"I couldn't care one way or the other. He's good at sex and that was all I needed."

"If it wasn't about the sex," Dr. Hughes made another note. "Then what did you want to prove to yourself?"

Anna stayed quiet for a moment before answering in a smaller voice, "That I wasn't too broken to do it. That I wasn't scared."

"Because Green…"

"Yes, because of what Green did to me." Anna stared down, playing with her fingers, "Is that what you want to talk about next?"

"This is about what you want to talk about, Anna."

"And if I don't want to talk about anything at all?"

"Then that's your choice." Dr. Hughes held her pen between her hands. "We'd spend the rest of the session in silence."

"They'll let you do that?"

"They'll have to. I'm the professional they called."

"But they've got topics for you, right? Things you're supposed to ask me about so they can get into my head through you since I've not said anything beyond my reports to them." Anna gesticulated for a second, "All the little questions you're supposed to ask so they can make a decision about where my head is?"

"They're curious about a few things and they've noted them in your file." Dr. Hughes made a show of looking over the papers again. "And yes, they'd like me to provide details about what we discuss but my first concern, Anna, is your welfare… Not theirs."

"They pay the bills."

"Doesn't matter." Dr. Hughes gave a little smile. "I'm a doctor first and my priority is my patients, not the government."

"No matter how much they pay?"

"I'm not exactly depending on them for my checks, Anna. This is a service."

Anna spread her fingers, pressing them together as if she might interlace them but instead just compressed them, flexing like pistons. "So, if I told you that I'd thought about suicide or quitting or anything else I wouldn't find myself immediately out on my ass?"

"Have you thought about those things?" Anna stayed quiet and Dr. Hughes adjusted in her seat. "Let me ask it another way: are you more afraid of losing your job than you are about maintaining your mental and physical health?"

"We all need to eat."

"We also need to be well, Anna."

Anna shrugged, "What do you do when you're not sure you'll ever be well again?"

Dr. Hughes gave a sad smile, "And now we're getting to it."

"Do you have an answer or just a cryptic response?"

"I've an answer for me, yes, but I've no idea what the answer is for you. You have to figure that one out on your own."

"Not very helpful."

"But very accurate."

Anna sighed, "I feel like… I can't be well again because how could I deserve to be well again? There are things I've done that I can't erase. Things that'll haunt me to the day I die. Things that won't let me be well."

"What kinds of things?"

"Like the things…" Anna interlaced her fingers and pressed them together until her knuckles whitened. "Things maybe even God couldn't forgive."

Dr. Hughes's brow furrowed slightly. "Do you believe in God?"

"I do…" Anna bit her lip, "I just don't know how much He believes in me anymore."

"I couldn't answer that for you, I'm not a priest."

"My priest couldn't answer it for me either so you're par for the course on that one." Anna let herself lean back onto the sofa. "Maybe there is no answer because there's nothing left and no reason to hope."

"How very nihilistic."

"I'm in that kind of mood."

Dr. Hughes snorted, "Pessimism's new to you, isn't it?"

"Why, doesn't it fit?"

"It's a little awkward."

Anna managed a smile of her own, "It's growing on me."

"Don't let it." Dr. Hughes shook her head, "Pessimism only breeds contempt and antagonism. People confuse cynicism with realism and pessimism for pragmatism and they're not at all the same."

"Then what do I do instead?" Anna threw up her hands, just to have them slap back on her legs. "Believe in sunshine and rainbows?"

"I'd say that you need to find something you do believe in and face that. Make it your new anchor so you're not adrift anymore."

"Like what?"

"I don't know what works for you but you did mention God. Make Him your anchor again, if you want, and see what changes."

Anna flexed her jaw a moment, sucking the insides of her cheeks. "What's your anchor? What do you cling to?"

"My husband."

"Makes sense." Anna sighed, letting her head fall back to the cushion behind her so she stared at the ceiling. "I want to find God again but I'm not sure how. And, as much as I hate to say it, I'm not sure I want to find Him."

"Why not?"

Anna bit at her lip, blinking at the hint of tears. "I don't want to face how ashamed of me I'd think He'd be."

Dr. Hughes did not respond, or comment on Anna's swift brush to clear her tears. "That's not something I can speak to. Again, I'm not a priest."

Anna tilted her head to look at the other woman. "But if you could?"

"My personal experience with God is that He wants us close and He wants to help. He won't refuse you."

"You think so?"

"I do." Dr. Hughes paused, "There's a line I turn to, one that gives me a lot of comfort when I need it most."

"Scripture?"

"Television quote, actually." Dr. Hughes smiled, "No matter how far you have walked from God, He is still waiting ahead."

"You really believe that?"

"He's always waited for me." Dr. Hughes checked her watch. "I'd best return you to Mary before she gets too antsy."

"So you're… Clearing me?"

"For your desk duties, yes." Dr. Hughes signed something in the file and handed it to Anna as they stood. "I'll be seeing you again in two weeks, just to see how you're settling in here and check to make sure that is still what you want."

Anna nodded, checking over the sheet. "You're recommending me to AA?"

"Yes, I am. There are two chapters in Mumbai, so you can pick whichever suits your schedule but you'll go." Dr. Hughes took a breath, "Self-medicating with alcohol is… Ill-advised, especially in your line of work."

"I've got a high tolerance."

"Maybe you do but if your liver fails or you find someone who'll drink you under the table, then you'll be up a creek without a paddle." Dr. Hughes shrugged, "It's a recommendation, not a command, but a strong one."

"I'll look into one." Anna followed Dr. Hughes back out into the sitting room where Mary roused herself from a perusal of her phone to take the folder Anna handed to her. "I'm all cleared for desk duty."

"Then you'll start tomorrow evening." Mary shook Dr. Hughes's hand. "Thank you."

"It's always a pleasure to work for the Empire." Dr. Hughes nodded at Mary and then to Anna. "I'll see you in two weeks."

"I'll see how sober I am by then." Anna left the house, climbing into the car as Mary started it. "Was it your idea for the AA recommendation?"

"No. But had I known you would skunk yourself before coming I would've made it mandatory." Mary paused, "I do hope you're serious about it."

"Absolutely." Anna shrugged, "Starting tomorrow. Tonight I'm getting absolutely smashed and then, tomorrow, sobreity starts."

"You can't be serious."

"You act as if I can't do it." Anna waved Mary off. "I did it at Uni. I can do it again."

"We're not Uni age, Anna."

"All the more reason to save my liver." Anna took a breath, "One more round and then it's quits. To all of it."

"Are you serious?"

Anna nodded, "This is the beginning of my new life. Mumbai'll be a fresh start for me and I intend on making the best of it."

"Do you need a drinking buddy?"

"No." Anna shook her head, "You and I both know that you'll be out before I am and this is a final hurrah, not an excuse to drag your drunk ass home."

"Should I send someone with you, just to make sure you get home?"

"As long as they're just looking and not touching then I'm all for it." Anna bit the inside of her cheek. "Care to lend me a fiver?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said it, I'm broke."

"I wasn't being serious."

Anna shrugged, "It's just a fiver. All the rest of it gets taken care of by whomever's at the bar. As per the norm."

"You're a headache."

"But I'm your headache."

True to Anna's word, by midnight most of the patrons at the bar had attempted to buy her several drinks and none of them succeeded in either outdrinking her or inviting her back to theirs. Anna dismissed a string of men, enjoying their free drinks, and eventually found herself alone at the bar as she finally unfolded one of the bills Mary gave her. The "goodwill" money as Mary's personal investment in Anna's sobriety.

"Sir?" Anna held up the bill and the man came over, "One of your signature cocktails please. It's…"

She frowned at the board, written mostly in Hindi, and shook her head, "Whichever one you think's the best. I'm ready to try something with some quality to it."

The man nodded, taking the bill from Anna's hand before pointing to two of the others. She peeled those off too and handed them over before counting what was left. Her internal debate about the remainder of the money remained as the bartender pushed the frothing, blue cocktail before her and he waited a moment. Anna sucked in a breath before shaking her head and tucked the rest of the money away.

"Best not." She held up the drink, nodding at him as she sipped it. "Excellent work sir. My congratulations on your mixology."

He laughed, shaking his head as he walked away to address another customer.

Anna continued sipping at her drink, only blinking to the side for a second as a man moved to the counter next to her. When he, almost imperceptibly, leaned toward her, Anna set down her drink and rested her fingers easily but ready on the edge of the bar. When he spoke she went cold for a moment. "Cocktail?"

"Excuse me?" Anna turned to him, taking in a man who was taller than her even with her seated on the tallest stool.

"Is that a cocktail?" The man pointed at Anna's drink. "I've been doing a kind of drink roulette and I think I've run out of options I can actually read so I'm taking suggestions for new ones to try and that looked adventurous."

"You're what?"

"Drink roulette. You risk your luck on new and different drinks." He pointed at hers again, "Is that one worth a go?"

"Oh." Anna blinked and examined the drink before shaking her head. "it could be, I guess, if you're interested."

"What is it?"

"I…" Anna let out a breath that almost vibrated her bottom lip, "I've actually got no idea what this is. I pointed vaguely at the board there and he gave it to me. It's got a hint of pineapple-mango something but that's all I can taste."

"Sounds good enough for me." He pointed to the stool next to hers. "Do you mind if I take this one? I promise I won't speak to you if you don't want me to."

"I…" Anna's breath caught in her throat and her answer deflated as she exhaled. "I'm… I'm not sure."

"About the seat or the conversation?"

"I've nothing to say about the seat. The conversation…" She shrugged, "I don't know. It's not really why I'm here."

"Well, whatever you decide." He raised a hand to signal the bartender before pointing at Anna's drink. "One of what you gave her?"

The bartender nodded and went to work as the other man extended his hand to Anna. "John, if you feel like talking to me."

"Anna," She took his hand, shaking once firmly. "If I feel like talking back."

"Pleasure to meet you Anna."

"Same… John." She raised her glass as John received his so they could clink them together. "To our mystery cocktails."