Hi Marina here, I'm sorry to all those who hate cliffies. I have a story that ends and a cliffy and they haven't updated in years. It makes me so mad. If you have a story write to finish the segment unless you update daily so they don't have to wait long. Cliffies stink major. I do agree with my reviewers.

My new story is up so read it, please. If you have review it please.

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Chapter 14: Fatal Memory

I am tired of sleeping. I need time to think. I'm in so much pain and it's getting hard to concentrate. Lee was sound asleep on his bed that the nurse brought out but I couldn't see Ray because he bed was on the other side of me and if I did he would notice I'm awake. I sighed and started a series of small grunts.

"Mariah, you okay?" I slowly turned around and noticed Ray was staying up and not sleeping.

"I'm in a lot of pain now but other than that, I'm fine. I just wish I knew you. I wish I knew what happened to me. I want to the know the story, it's just I have no clue anything about my life. It's like I've changed places with Mariah and she forgot to tell me how to live her life. You know I don't remember you, or Lee. I wish I could but I don't. I'm in Mariah's body but not her." I wanted to cry but crying was not acceptable while talking.

"Here, this is something or close friends made for us. It's a video we watched together; it's of us. You can watch it while Lee and I are going to the service office while you rest. You're like Mariah, very much. I just think we should accept how you are for know and tell you the truth but not now. You need some more sleep." I stared at him.

"No way, I've been sleeping for almost a week straight. I'm not tired anymore. Can you please tell my why I'm not at my house and what was my mission. I don't want to know what happened to me because it's not clear to understand now. I just want to know what I did and why." I wanted to know what did I want to know, what did I not know that I didn't.

"We were at our early engagement party 3 weeks ago. You were talking with Wendi and London. Wendi is Lee's wife and London is Kevin's wife. They grew up in a world where girls were treated like trash, they were to be abused, not to talk, according to men in their tribe girls were like dead things to play with. It was horrible. You were sad because you didn't understand how it was to not be loved, to be lonely in heart, you never had to overcome anything on your own. You were so sad because you didn't understand anyone except Kevin, Gary, Lee and I. We grew up teaching you that you were the most important thing to us. You're never alone and you should be treated with respect."

"Wow, you guys are amazing people. I mean you have done all these things. You saved me from all the horrible things of the world. Thank you so much." She wanted to cry, these people were amazing.

"That was you're mission, you wanted to understand how wonderful we really were to you. You decided to go live with the worst guy in the worst tribe for 10 days. I had taught you to do whatever you think is right and you felt understanding you and everyone else was right." Ray looked at me and he saw something in me.

"I can easily see that but living in a perfect world makes you blind to how perfect it is. I understand that but hadn't she ever hanged out with one of them before. I'd think being almost 18 that she would have experienced that before. Hadn't I?" Ray had to remember something that I needed to know.

"Once…you too, were to marry a Lintec man. You were to leave our tribe, you're friends and marry Zackary. Zackary was an abuser and felt women were scum and were just tools to do his bidding. You were suppose to marry him but you and I ran away. That place is on the DVD I gave you. It will explain everything. It'll show you the real you. It's not exactly pretty the whole time. We are going to get married in 1 week but I'm going to push it back until you remember what's going on. I can't marry you if you can't remember who you are, what you stand for and what you've been through. If you can't remember than I'll just have to start with everything I know and teach you and you can remake the choice to marry me or not." I just wanted to scream 'No!'. I need to remember. I have to.

"No, you can't." Ray was wondering what I was talking about. "I have to remember. You love Mariah, as much as I want to be her I'm incapable. She can love I can't feel. I'm like a new born baby. I have no emotions and must grow into them but it takes many years. I need to be Mariah again." I was crying and pulling myself into darkness. I turned around and laid down in my bed.

"As much as you want to Mariah, you can't. If you can't than you can't. You never quiet understood the word no and limitations. You just thought I was saying no limitations. There was nothing you'd let stop you but this is something that is a limit. If my leave but It's a limit." I didn't turn around, I just cried.

"I can force myself. Mariah's in me somewhere. She's just lost because of whatever happened to me, she's scared and won't come out. Someday soon I'll force her out." I felt Ray shaking his head but I would. I fell asleep saying no limitations, come back Mariah. I said it over and over again in my head.

I awoke wondering if I was me. I realized if I was wondering that I wasn't Mariah. Lee and Ray had gone to go get food and now I could watch the DVD

3rd Person

Meanwhile, Ray and Lee were talking with the doctor. "The chemical wasn't any normal chemical. It was a homemade chemical; nothing like we've seen before. If she don't tell us something about it. She'll die. We can't do anything unless she gives us some more details."

"She's trying really hard to make herself remember but it's not helping any. She just argues with me that she'll make Mariah come back. 'Mariah is just scared to come back is all' that's what she says. She won't stop until she remembers." Ray said thinking about he hasn't been with the Mariah he knows and loves in almost a month. He was beganing to miss her.

"Ray, by Mariah to force herself to remember she's stressing herself out. It's not going to help her any. She needs to realize something that scares her so much that remembering is the only thing that would stop her." Ray needed to remember something that could help him save Mariah.

"The only thing that would come to mind is Mariah promised herself that she'd never forgive herself if she died and left me. If I explained she was going to die that might force her to remember everything and we could save her." Ray remembered that was the only thing she had a problem with.

Ray arrived at the room and saw Mariah in tears. She saw Ray and hit her face. She didn't want Ray to see her tears. "It never fails, every time you cry, it's my fault. I should have never given you the movie. It didn't help. I have news from your doctors." He sat on a chair a 6 feet away from her. He realized he would have to be spacious when he was with her. She wasn't Mariah and she didn't have the trust he had with Mariah. Mariah's body or not, he wanted her to be comfortable with him.

"How long am I going to be here, in the hospital? I don't like it here. You can't leave me all alone. I just want to remember." She screamed and cry and he held his ears and fell to the floor and leaned on his knees and elbows; it was like bowing. She crept of her bed to his side. "What's wrong, are you in sick."

Ray tried to stop breathing very hard but it was useless. "My bond with Mariah is very strong. I feel her or you're pain. When she's in pain it hurts me and I want to go rescue her but now it's bad because I can't. She's not here, I can't help her." She sat on her bed and didn't cry just sat there talking to herself.

Mariah's Viewpoint inside her head

Note: Mayotta Kioku means lost strayed mind memory. The boxes mean what kind of thing it is talking about lost as of strayed like getting lost and the part of your mind which is your memory. I found this in my Japanese to English dictionary. If you want to know some words type them below. Also add what type of word you mean.

I don't know why Mayotta Kioku is speaking Japanese to Mariah who speaks Chinese but beyblade is Japanese and that's what I'm using so big deal.

"Mariah? You there? This is Mayotta Kioku, I need you're help, with Ray." Mayotta Kioku screamed trying to see if Mariah was inside herself.

"Ray?" A voice whispered wondering who it is. Mayotta Kioku wondered about the empty space that was Mariah's heart.

"Mariah, I don't know Ray as well as you do and I don't need to because you need to come back. Please, dozo (please)." Mayotta Kioku wished Mariah would answer, she wished desperately.

"Rippa na (fine agree) Mayotta Kioku." Mariah came forth to Mayotta. Mariah looked sad and lonely in the place that was her heart.

"You know Ray, he needs you to move on. We are going to die if you don't come back and remember what happened to you." Mariah shook her head no.

"I don't want to go back or remember what happened. If I do then I'll be sad, scared and alone again. I don't want to." Mayotta tried to understand. She did.

"Aren't you more than alone here. Alone is a state of being not of mind. You're alone and lonely right now. Out of your own heart are many people who love you and need you to come back. Is that not you're mission." Mariah realized, she was afraid to know what the answer to her mission was but she was afraid to know.

"The answer is, I'm weak and vulnerable. I don't deserve Ray and Lee and Kevin. They have done so many things to protect me. I don't deserve it. I don't." Mariah turned her face in shame. Mariah had known the answer and now she said.

"What you fear is learning why they did it. It's love, the whole time they mentioned a mission and the answer was to find out how wonderful they were if thought you were stupid as could be. I saw that these two were good people from the start. Then I realized one that stays in light forgets it's there. One who's in darkness forgets it's in darkness. Amia had forgot how bad she was being treated and now she will learn. You are saved she has just started all over to forget. You did good to see what you had but my forcing her to realize how bad her life is you did just as much wrong." Mariah wanted to cry. Mayotta was right in saying.

"I started to accept it to. I did. I realized that I just needed to accept how he treated me because he wasn't going to change so I would have to change. I realized what had to be done and did it. I brought Amia out of her world that seemed great to her but someone knew brought her own. It was like waving what I had in front of her face and not letting her have it. It was horrible. I wish I could go back and not do that but I can't. Start over and understand because it's best; les not we forget." Mariah spoke as she fought feelings of regret and anger.

"How about you think about this until tomorrow morning then you have to return to Ray and Lee? I think that's fair. It's been 3 weeks since you talked to Ray and he seems very apart from everyone. How about it? Do you want me to tell them you're coming back?" Mayotta was very nice for asking.

"No, they don't understand the deep matters of the mind. Just tell them I'm feeling better in here. Don't say that I might be coming out or anything. I'm going to miss talking to you. You are a part of me I'll miss." Mariah smiled at Mayotta and Mariah couldn't wait to return.

Outside her mind

"Mariah, you okay?" Ray was looking at her like she was asleep.

"Oh. Hey Ray. I talked to Mariah. I should really introduce myself. I'm Mayotta Kioku. It means lost mind but in real terms means strayed memory. I'm someone who keeps track of Mariah's memory. She needed to find something so I had to come. I'm lost within her memories why my name is it. She's doing better. She still has a lot of problems in there within herself. Don't expect a lot." Mayotta sighed and looked at Ray.

"Ray. I guess that me reading stories of her life didn't help me prepare for living it. Let's just say I won't miss being Mariah a bit. She has it way too hard. She has to sleep while I do work. I think work is a lot easier." Mayotta was the keeper of minds and she kept Mariah's mind in tack but she knew how Mariah thought of Ray.

"Lee, you better get back to Wendi. Mariah is going to be back eventually I know it. If Mayotta made contact than for sure she's close to finding herself so I'll bring her back when she's better. Mayotta, thanks for everything. I think you helped Mariah find herself." Mayotta wanted to hug Ray and thank him for being so nice to Mariah over the years. She knew she couldn't remember what he had done to Mariah but he wouldn't have been so nice to her if he wasn't nice to Mariah. She could read stories of Mariah and Ray's adventures when she was back in control of Mariah's memory.

"No, thank you, Ray. Mariah wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things she needed to, to realize her life was great if you and Lee wouldn't have been there. By being there for her you made her so happy, saved her and did wonderful things. I can read stories of you and Mariah when I'm back in control of her memory but for now and for a while I can just see the world as she does. Mariah for sure thinks it's perfect." Mayotta realized that Mariah was just happy with the small wonderful things she had. Nothing big was needed to keep Mariah happy.

"Why don't we go to bed?" Ray suggested seeing as it was midnight and they both had been through a lot. Mayotta just nodded and went to sleep on her hospital bed.

A few hours later Mariah and Mayotta were saying their final good-byes.

"Will I remember what happened why I was in my mind? Can you make sure I remember my lessons and mission? I would really like to remember it." Mariah asked.

"I'll write it down as soon as I get back to your memory. It may take a while but you'll remember parts and pieces of it as I write it down. Ray's sure to tell you anyway. He's so sweet. I'm so happy for you two getting married. I don't know much about him but through all the things you've been through, I'm sure he's just as great as he is now." Mariah nodded because of Mayotta's statement.

"You're invited personally to our wedding. You can't come out but you can take a front seat spot to it. I'm sure Ray would appreciate it." Mayotta started to laugh and fall over.

"Earth to Mariah, if I'm not controlling you're memory. One, you'd forget your wedding. And two, you wouldn't know Ray again and I'd go in you're spot if I leave. I'll see it and write it down with great details." Mariah was glad Mayotta had explained that to her.

"Let's hope we don't have to meet again like this in my internal conflict. You're always with me so I should be able to talk to you at anytime, correct." Mariah wanted to know if her closest friend could talk to her.

"You can enter you own memory zone and read some of the old stories but we both can only be in your mind zone for a short period because you'll forget to breath. You better go." Mayotta realized that she would miss breathing, talking and meeting the wonderful people she could only read about but she couldn't love or have feeling so her purpose was meaningless.

It was 9:00. Mariah was in control of her mind and looking around. "This place is just so horrible and boring. It needs colors and I need to get out of here. I've been in here so long, can we go now, Ray. Ray, wake up!" Mariah yelled at Ray who was sleeping next to her. It was a two foot drop and 2 foot distance between the beds.

Mariah leaned over onto Ray's bed. "Mayotta, I'm tired."

"Ah." Mariah started falling and Ray quickly grabbed her waist and Mariah quickly kissed Ray and smiled looking into Ray's eyes.

"Mariah, it's you. You're back." He hugged her like he was never going to let her go again. "I missed you so much. Mayotta didn't know anything and she had no feelings. It was so sad and lonely." Mariah squinted when she heard the words sad and lonely. They were the only a few of the words she'd use to describe her torment.

"I missed you so much. I wanted to come back. 17 days is a very long time to leave someone; especially you. I'm sorry I'm late. I had myself to find. I'm just glad I'm back in you're arms." Mariah didn't cry, there was no reason to. She was in Ray's arms, reunited with him at last. It had been more than half a month and she still had a wedding to plan.

"It's just great for you to finally know me. I'm so glad that you're okay." She sighed. "You're not healed are you?"

"Nope, I can tell you the chemical and they can create an antidote and cure me. It's not that hard but I'll be awake for about 36 hours straight once I take the antidote." She hugged him. She never wanted to leave him again. She wanted to just get married already and be finally happy forever.

Ray called the doctor in. "So what was the chemical. Why did you're body react to it by staying asleep a week straight. I don't know any chemical that can do that with normal results." The doctor looked at her.

"It was alveoli; it was mixed in with alcohol so it was especially strong and would have been deadly if my body didn't reconvene itself into an memory fix. I lost my memory so I could use all my energy to fix it. I couldn't fix it but it helped me hold on for long enough to stop the chemical from spreading." Mariah looked at her body.

"So what about all the marks on you're body? Why did you react to the chemical like you did? I need details." Mariah looked at Ray for back up.

"The marks on her body are from abuse received while she was abused by a murder, abuser and killer. I didn't realize when I left her with him that he was so I saved her but after the poison was taken about 12 hours. She has a weak defense to chemicals. She is barely child bearing able and isn't getting any better." Ray held Mariah's hand that was shaky and sweaty.

Mariah was given the antidote. It made her very awake and over energized. She had to take a couple of tests and within a day all the chemicals were out of her system. She was completely back to normal or normal for Mariah.

"Doctor, can I take a fertility test while I'm here?" Mariah asked uncomfortably. The doctor was a female and very understanding of that she was married, seeing the wedding ring. She nodded and gave Mariah the test.

"Okay Mariah, it seems that for the next two months you'll be really weak from what you're body has been through. It seems that after that you should be able to have a child; and maybe two but that is very chancy for you're health. I'd get that checked on in two months, though." The doctor left, saying that Mariah was free to leave the hospital.

Ray and Mariah returned to their house and sat down on Mariah's bed. She was very tired but didn't mention it to Ray because she wanted to be with him for a while longer. "So why did you want to know? I thought…"

"It's just to see how I'm doing. now I feel better with a lot less of the risk. It was just something little I wanted to see." Ray realized that Mariah was drifting off into sleep.

"We should go to bed Mariah." She nodded, Ray covered her up with her blanket. He kissed her forehead and went of to bed.

"Why you go through all of this unnessisary things for me, I don't know. Do you feel that you're not good enough of something? I don't understand that part of you but I'm sure someday I'll understand." Ray said finally falling into a restful sleep.

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I say that was a good chapter, One chapter to go. It's the wedding. There will be a sequel sometime if I think to do it.