Don't Hold Your Breath
A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers once again. Kenny loves you all! I have spent the whole of my Christmas day writing this chapter so ya'll have to love it ok? This chapter explains more about Kenny's past then anything else. Thank you all once again and I hope you have all had a great Christmas.
I don't own South Park sadly – Or any of the lyrics that I'll be using in future chapters.
The lyrics in this chapter are from the songs:
CKY – Knee Deep
CKY – Don't Hold Your Breath
This story is a Kenny/Kyle slash. Just to warn any slash haters
Chapter Three – To Be Me
Waking up in someone else's bed has always freaked me out, but when I remembered the night before, I smiled. During the night, Kyle had rolled off me and onto his other side. I laid with my arms still around the boy, hugging him from behind. I take a sneak look at the boy's face. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either so I was happy enough. My head fell back down to the pillow and my eyes closed for only a few seconds before something roused me. His alarm had an annoying fucking beep. Fighting the urge to throw the damn clock at a wall, I turn off the alarm and find that it's seven in the morning. I really didn't want to leave him, but I knew I had too.
Freeing my arm from underneath Kyle, I rolled onto my feet. While stretching my hands into the air, I let out a yawn; the usual morning routine. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I made my way downstairs. I couldn't help but think about Kyle after the incident yesterday so I decided to make him something to eat for when he woke up. I'm one hell of a chef even if I do say so myself, but I didn't have the time to cook anything so a sandwich would have to do. Walking back upstairs with the penutbutter and bread, I check on my friend before placing the plate on his bedside table. He was so cute when he slept.
It was still dark outside and the wind seemed to cut straight through me. I was wearing my warmest hoody, but it was still thin and no match for the winter weather. Heading towards home, my pace quickened as my mom entered my thoughts. I had left her alone all night and I began to regret it a little as my house came into view. Taking hold of the door handle, I take in a deep breath before entering. "Mom! I'm home!" I called after kicking my shoes off. No answer. "Mom?" She was usually up by now, but the thought of her sleeping-in came to mind. I entered the front room in search and horror took over my face. The entire place had been totally ransacked. The furniture had been toppled and smashed on the floor along with the ornaments and kitchen utensils. The paintings on the wall had been ripped down and had been replaced with crude doodles in black marker. Had we been burgled? I doubted it.
"You little fucker!" A shout from behind made me turn straight into a punch to my nose. The force caused me to fall backwards onto my behind where my right hand landed in shattered glass. I looked up through pained eyes for just a second before a foot hit me in the side of the head. "How dare you walk into my house!" Believe it or not, this was a regular occurrence. I was just grateful that I had locked all the tools in the garden shed weeks before. A wrench can kill anyone if swung enough times.
You're probably wondering how my mom had become all 'crazy bitch'? Well, my dad had left us when I was only ten years old. I wasn't sure if it was my mom's illness that had made him leave, or if his leaving was the one that caused her illness. The abuse had started only small; a few names here and there hurt no one but my pride. But by the age of fourteen, I was being beaten almost everyday. I started smoking at that age and hanging out with the wrong crowds. By the age of fifteen I had totally lost contact with my closest friends, and by sixteen I was drinking heavily. Drugs came when I was seventeen and my first encounter with God. An ecstasy tablet caused the whole of my body to convulse and my newfound druggie friends did nothing but run. It was Chef that found me on the pavement and drove my unconscious body to the hospital. That day changed my life and I vowed to never touch drugs again. I also said that after my second and third time in hospital for the same thing. I tried everything, but there was nothing else to stop me. That was until Kyle showed up out of the blue. He punched me so hard that my nose broke for the first time in my life. The look he gave me when I looked up from the floor was enough to make me quit cold turkey. Kyle totally changed my life from that point onwards. He stayed by my side for a week straight. Through all the withdrawal and fits, he was with me holding my hand. Hell, he even made me quit smoking. I began to get to know all my old friends again and even got myself a girlfriend. She turned out to be totally insane, but that story is for another time. I know it sounds totally corny, but Kyle Brovlovski is my hero. I talked things through with my mom and she went to see the doctors about her depression. They gave her medication and as long as she took it she was fine. This of course was a time without her medication.
"Mom, I-it's me." I tried to shout but my whole body felt weak. A mix of dizziness and tiredness fell over my mind. If you have ever been kicked in the head, you know what it feels like. A whisper was all I could muster.
She looked down at me for a few seconds before falling to her knees and cradling my upper body in her arms. "Don't worry baby. The bad people have left now. Mommy will take care of you." Welcome to a day in the life of Kenny McCormick.
It takes twenty-five minutes to travel to North Park College by bus. I hate getting the bus on the morning. Usually there's a bunch of little bastards from high school who sit at the back and cause a fuss. I'm so glad I own an MP3 player, probably the most expensive thing I own. Of course, it had been stolen in my youth.
Although the ride was always terrible, college itself was great. Lets start out by saying that the only reason I got a chance to go was because I got a scholarship on the soccer team. With the grades I got in high school, I wouldn't have been able to get a job in McDonalds; not like there's anything wrong with that. Anyway, if I was ever at school (which was not a lot let's face it), I usually nicked off lesson and played soccer. Coach never minded since I was the best mid-fielder in the school. Well, that's what I liked to think. Sports studies and CT was the only lessons that I managed to get a pass.
Walking through the double doors into the building, a familiar voice called out. "Kenny!" It was Nadia. Her and her four twin sisters were like my closest girlfriends. She was stood with two sisters, Baltania and Natalia. Maria and Sofia were nowhere to be seen.
When Kyle had saved me from a life of drug and drink abuse, I began meeting new people. The quintuplets are amazing. All of them are gymnasts and were once really famous for it. All of them are amazingly beautiful and so, so nice. I'm actually the only person in our college who can tell the quints from each other.
I have a pretty special bond with Nadia. She once gave me something that she had never gave anyone else before. In other words, we slept together and it was for her first time. She had never had a boyfriend before and she never really trusted guys. It just kind of happened and it brought us so close. News travelled around college in the way that news usually does and I got a nice guy reputation. I also slept with Baltania and Natalia. I know that may sound weird, but they love me just as much as I love them. If I ever needed anything, my girls would be there for me. I would do anything for them too and they know it.
I smiled a bright smile before heading towards the three sisters. "Hey guys."
"Oh my God." Natalia said as I got close. She stroked my cheek softly with the back of her right hand. "What happened?"
The bruise from my mother's boot was large enough when I had left my house. I had a feeling that it may of darkened since I arrived at college. I continued to smile. "Ah, it's ok."
"And your hand?" Nadia asked. I had wrapped it in a bandage since the shattered glass had cut me pretty bad. The bandage that covered my palm had turned slightly red but that didn't stop the girl from taking hold of my hand gently.
I winced a little but continued to smile. The quints are always so caring towards me. "Really, I'm fine."
All three knew it was my mom that did this. Hell, it was no secret that she was a mental case but the quints know everything about me anyway. "Come on you. We need to redress your hand before you go to soccer." Baltania took my left hand and the three led me to the nurse. I couldn't help but smile. I loved being so loved.
It wasn't until the afternoon that I had time to see the rest of the guys. I peered through the window in the door to the band-room and watched as they played.
On bass, Token Williams. I know absolutely nothing about this guy. I guess he has musical talent, but he seems like a total asshole to the girls in the college. He's a muscular jock, end of.
Eric Cartman was a fucking kick ass drummer. In some ways he had changed throughout the years, but in most ways he was still a prick. He was a filthy fucking fouled mouthed, fat, racist bastard with as much respect for other people as a pig had for crap. But he was now a good friend to a select few. He was always smiling and joking and even did stand up comedy at a number of bars and theatres in the local area.
Stan Marsh played lead guitar along with Kyle. Stan was a really great guy. He was a lot like Kyle in many ways but that goes without saying since they were best friends. He had been seeing Wendy Testaburger now for four years and they were both pretty happy with one another. He had even bought her a 'promise ring' which is sort of like a engagement ring for people who don't want to be engaged. Oh, he was also the vocalist for the group.
All the boys dressed in black which matched the music. I watched for a few moments before opening the door slowly so not to be saw. I wasn't so lucky as Cartman noticed me almost immediately. "Hey gay boy!" I smiled and Stan gave me a small nod before leaning into the mic.
Some people don't know, don't know what is wrong so they're knee deep, deep in sorrow.
I've heard them play this song before and I fucking loved it. The lyrics were the same all the way through, but it was the music that made it so special. The only problem was that Kyle wasn't there so it didn't seem as great as it usually was, though it was still good. The song ended and I began to clap. "You guys are sounding gooooood!"
"Fuck yeah we are!" Cartman yelled before beating the drum softly.
"Yeah, it's just a shame Kyle couldn't be assed to get out of bed this morning and show up to practice." Token said in his best bitchy voice as he pulled the strap of his bass over his head.
Fighting the will to call the boy a fuckwit, I turned to Stan. "I don't think he's going to be in for a while."
"What? Why?" The boy asked in reply.
"I don't know. I was around yesterday and he was really upset about something."
"Is he alright now?" The question came from Cartman. Like I said, sometimes he actually cared.
I shrugged my shoulders. "He was asleep when I left him…"
"I bet he was…" Token muttered as he picked up his bag and headed for the door. I turned to him.
"You got something to say?"
Opening the door, he held up his middle finger. "Fuck you fag."
I could of killed him there and then, and boy did I want to. If Stan wasn't holding me back, I would of probably got my ass kicked. I forgot to mention that Token was huge and had a reputation when it came to beating people to a pulp. "That son of a bitch!" I growled.
"Just leave it man he's a dickhead. Anyway, about Kyle?" Token had left the room before Stan let me go.
I took a deep breath to calm myself down before turning to the boy. "Just leave him to me. I know how busy you guys are with Wendy's birthday coming up and your job." Oh, Cartman worked down at the local cinema. He spends thirty minutes or so setting up and starting the movies, then spends two hours playing on his PSP. It's the perfect job for him.
"You make sure that he's ok then." Stan said behind worried eyes.
"I will… I will."
It was six o'clock before I turned up at Kyle's house. He hadn't invited me, but I thought after last night he could use some company. He gave me a house key when he went on holiday earlier this year and forgot to take it back, so I just let myself in. The house was in total darkness again so I carefully made my way upstairs and into my friend's room. Although it was dark, I could see the outline of Kyle laid on the bed. It looked as though he hadn't moved all day but as I got closer, I could see that the sandwich I made him that morning had been eaten. I laid on the bed and scooched my way towards him. Placing my arms around Kyle, I pulled him into a soft hug. I had no idea if he was asleep or not.
Fifteen minutes had passed in silence and my eyes were beginning to close. "K… Kenny?"
"Yeah?" I answered quietly.
A minute passed in silence and I thought he wasn't going to say anything else. But how wrong I was. "T-there was a plane crash yesterday…" His voice was shaken and I knew he was on the verge of tears. "My m-m… Mom and dad were on t-t-t-that plane…"
I had no idea what to say. The answer was obvious but I asked the question anyway. "Are they ok?"
Another minute of so passed as the boy sobbed quietly. "N-no one survived…"
"Oh Kyle…" Was all I could say as I pulled the boy into a hug. He slowly spun himself around on the bed and rested his head on my chest, just like the day before. He sobbed softly; not as much as yesterday but I could still feel his pain. I kissed him on the top of the head and hugged him again.
"Kenny…?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you…? Could you sing for me again?" He asked when his crying had stopped. Although he couldn't see me, I nodded slowly.
The tide pulls you into me
As one, adrift in the sea
The feeling is free
Yet, you'll find yourself drifting with me
Don't hold your breath for long
If the undertows getting too strong
There's no reason for you to come along
So what's to become of us
The answer has yet to be seen
As fate puts us side by side
You'll find yourself drifting with me
Don't hold your breath for long
If the undertows getting too strong
There's no reason for you to come along
The song had sent him to sleep again yet I stayed awake for long afterwards. Kyle was all alone now. His brother Ike was in Canada in a boarding school for gifted children and Kyle wasn't close with any other relatives. Whatever would happen, I would always be there for him. Kyle had always looked after me, but now it was my time to look after him. I would not let him down.