Okay. I got a lot of reviews saying that they didn't understand what happened between Derek and Addison at the end of the last chapter. I would like to say that I didn't mean to make it so vague, but I did. In my mind, Derek and Addison would both understand the implications without having to talk about it. Plus they don't want to talk about it. They still don't want to talk about it, so they are dancing around it a bit in this chapter. But a lot of stuff is explained, and a lot stays kinda vague. The moral of the story is: if you didn't understand something, it will be explained in this chapter or in chapters to come.

Plus I have decided that Derek and Addison need one of those couple terms (like MerDer or Merge). It was very difficult but I have come up with Addek (pronounced like Addict), it's all I can think of but personally i think it is better then Prestina which managed to stick around (I liked Bang). So I am hoping that Addek catches on, and you can say you saw it here first (and I can say i invented it)!

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May

XXXX

Derek

5:30am

Derek groaned as the alarm clock beside him went off. A sense of impending dread instantly crashed down on him. This morning he was going to insist that he and Addison sit down and talk this out. They had found out 3 weeks ago and had so far done a through job of dancing around the subject. They made vague illusions to it over dinner or while waiting for the elevator. They would begin discussing it before bed but before they touched on the real issues one would claim exhaustion. In a way he both dreaded and embraced this morning, it was a turning point.

Derek was suddenly aware that the alarm was still going off. Rubbing one fist over his eyes he propped himself up on his elbow so he could reach over his wife and turn it off. He opened his eyes and groaned. She was gone.

XXXX

Addison

5:32am

"Your here early Dr. Shepherd," Izzie greeted Addison as she stepped into the nursery.

"I was needed," Addison replied vaguely as she adjusted tubes that didn't need adjusting.

"Of course," Izzie agreed not wanting to comment on Addison overt lie, "Is Dr. Shepherd here too? I think that Burke needs him on a consult."

"He might be," Addison replied, clearly having no idea where her husband might be.

Izzie was silent. She watched as Addison smoothed the same infants blanket over and over until no wrinkles remained. "Are you okay?"

Addison looked up and her entire semblance changed. A friendly smile plastered across her face, but didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm fine," She replied picking up a chart, "Rounds in 5."

XXXX

Meredith

5:59am

"Spring has arrived in Seattle!" Tyler announced cheerfully as he arrived at the nurses station.

Meredith tapped her fingers and looked away. She had felt strange around Tyler ever sense George had mentioned that maybe she had feelings for him. At first she had blown the whole thing off, it was a ridiculous idea. It was Tyler. He was her friend. But if he was only her friend then why did she feel like this every time he was around?

"Mer? Hey earth to Mer!"

Meredith shook herself out of her daze and tried to focus on what was going on around her. "What?"

"Joe's. Tonight. 2 for 1 bar shots."

"Sounds good." Meredith replied trying to sound casual as she gathered her charts, "I've got to check on some patients," she continued struggling to hold on to everything as charts threatened to topple out of her arms.

"Hey, I'll get that," Tyler offered as he reached over to take an armful of stuff.

"No!" Meredith exclaimed jerking away, "I've got it," she recovered, "You know me, independent to a fault," she called over her shoulder as she hurried away, trying to keep up with her charts.

Way to go Meredith. Now he knows something is up.

XXXX

Derek

10:48am

Derek paced back and forth up and down the neonatal halls waiting for Addison to appear.

"There you are," Derek greeted is wife with a small smile and a kiss on the cheek as she entered the hall way with Izzie. "I've been waiting to talk to you."

Addison looked him in the eye, "Don't go far Izzie. This will only take a minute."

Derek sighed and led Addison away by the elbow.

"Not now," Addison said before Derek could even open his mouth.

"Then when Addy?"

"I don't know Derek. Later."

They stood in a silent standoff, both staring at the floor.

"How about lunch?"

Addison crossed her arms, and looked away from Derek, "I have surgery."

"You have to eat."

"I know Derek. I will."

"Did you have breakfast?"

"Of course."

"What did you have?"

"Derek!"

"You have to take care of yourself. Have you checked your sugar lately?"

"Izzie!" Addison ignored Derek and turned her attention back to her intern, "Let's go," she said turning and heading down the hall.

"Izzie," Derek murmured catching her arm as she passed, "Let me know if she seems off, okay."

"Off how?"

Derek sighed, "Just call my cell if she doesn't seem herself or she seems..."

"Off?"

"Yeah," Derek smiled, glad that Izzie seemed to understand what he was asking.

Izzie smiled in return, and turned to catch up to Addison, "It's nothing serious is it?" she asked turning back.

"No," Derek smiled unconvincingly.

Izzie took a step towards Derek, "She's strong. Whatever it is, she won't let it get to her.

XXXX

Addison

1:43pm

Addison watched as Meredith slipped into what she probably thought was an empty gallery. There wasn't surgery scheduled here for another hour, so this was the perfect place to go if you needed some peace and quiet. Avoiding people was hard work. "Hey."

Meredith jumped. "Sorry, I thought this room was empty."

Addison shrugged, "This is a good place to hide, no one ever checks here. So we might as well hide together." We always seem to end up in the same place anyway, She thought as she patted the floor next to her.

"I guess," Meredith replied uncomfortably, as she crossed the room to sit against the wall beside Addison, "Can I ask you a question?"

Addison sighed, "Wouldn't that be a little awkward? I am still me and you're still you."

Meredith considered that, "I suppose. But even though your you and I'm me, you've always been honest, you've even been nice to me when I probably didn't deserve it."

"That wasn't always easy."

Meredith laughed, "See. Honest."

Addison didn't react just turned her head to look at Meredith, "What do you want to know."

Meredith was silent for a minute, "There is this guy..."

Addison raised her eyebrow, "Is it Derek?"

Meredith smiled, "No." she pulled off her ID tag and began playing with the clasp, "But he is the first guy since Derek that I have been able to talk to, you know?" Addison nodded and Meredith continued, "But the thing is, I don't really know what to do. I have no idea if he is even interested in me."

"He is," Addison assured her.

"You don't even know who I am talking about."

"Well if it is not my husband it is either George or Nurse Christianson. I am leaning towards Christianson though," Addison smiled at Meredith, "I am finally getting caught up on the gossip around here."

Meredith laughed "Yeah," her smile faded, "But there is another problem."

"There always is."

"Tyler is my friend. When we break up that's ruined."

"Who's saying that you are going to break up?"

"Every relationship ends at some point."

"Not all of them."

"All of mine do." Meredith shook her head, "I know the risks. So why even bother hoping that it will turn out differently."

Addison and Meredith silently watched each other, their minds pondering their own problems. Figures that Meredith would be having the same problem that I am having. The burden of to much knowledge and experience.

"It could turn out differently." Addison reflected.

Meredith thought about this, "But do you really think it can be?"

"I don't know, maybe." She is to young to know that things never turn out differently. She is still naive enough to hope.

"You think that it could be different this time? That if I just face life and trust that everything will turn okay it will."

"All we can do is have to just hope that it will turn out okay, and not look back."

"Then I'm going to ask Tyler out to dinner." Meredith smiled and stood up.

Addison returned the smile, "Good."

Meredith paused at the door to the gallery, "Maybe you should take your own advice."

Addison took a deep breath, "Sometimes, it's better not to hope."

XXXX

Derek

2:01pm

Where is she? She lied to me. She isn't in surgery. She isn't anywhere. Why is she avoiding me? She must know that I am worried about her and...

Why is she pushing me away?

XXXX

Addison

2:22pm

It's happening again. It's over.

"Are you ok?" Izzie followed Addison into an empty exam room.

Where did she come from? "I'm fine," Addison shrugged out of her lab coat and sat down on the bed.

"Your in pain, let me get someone."

"No!" Addison cried, trying to mask the pain, "I'm fine. "

Izzie watched with concern as Addison tried to pull herself together.

"Guess lunch didn't really agree with me."

Izzie shook her head, "I am calling your husband."

"Dr. Steeven's!"

"He told me to call him if something was wrong. Something is definitely wrong." Izzie looked over at her furious mentor, "And I guess once I talk to him I am off every case you assigned me to." She paused, "Dr. Shepherd? It's Izzie," Addison motioned for Izzie to hand her the phone, "Your wife wants to talk to you. And if she says she is fine, she is lying."

Addison glared at Izzie as she took the phone, "Derek? No I really am fine. Just a little nauseous. It's nothing."

Derek was silent, "It's something more isn't it?"

It would be easier if I could just do this on my own. We don't both need to deal with this. Addison closed her eyes, her voice caught slightly in her throat, "Yes."

"Are you in pain?"

Addison turned away from Izzie ,"Yes."

"Hand the phone back to Izzie, okay Lady? I'll be right there."

Izzie reclaimed the phone and stared in astonishment at Addison. She had become a different person. In the 30 seconds she had been on the phone she had become scared, weak and vulnerable.

"What room are you in?"

"2784. I think you should hurry."

XXXX

Meredith

2:23pm

I can't believe I am going to do this. I am going to ask Tyler out on a date. 6 hours from now there is a very real possibility that I will be beginning to date Tyler. We could become a couple. We could get married. I could get sent to an insane asylum for getting to far ahead of myself. But this is HUGE. I Meredith Grey am opening myself to the possibility of love. I am giving myself permission to fall in love with Tyler... if I feel like it.

And it feels good.

XXXX

Derek

2:27pm

"Addison?" Derek burst in the door, completely out of breath, "What's wrong?"

"She is having pain in her side."

"What kind of pain?" he asked his wife, sitting on the bed beside her and holding her hand, worry evident on his face.

"Sharp, and painful. It's gotten worse in the last few minutes."

"How long have you had it?"

Addison was silent.

"Addy?"

"A couple of days. But Derek..."

"Where?" he asked cutting her off.

She winced, "Upper right."

"Upper right? Are you sure?"

Addison winced again, "Positive."

"Addy, that's not..." Derek paused, "We've been through this before, and it's never been... upper right? I can't think of anything..."

"You think that it could be something else?"

"I hope so." Please God. I don't ask for much, but let it be something else.

"Ok." Addison took a deep breath. "Ok."

"Izzie would you wheel that ultrasound over here?" Derek asked, as he unbuttoned the bottom buttons of Addison's shirt, difficult as Addison wouldn't let go of his hand. "It's hurts here?" He asked gently running his hand over the top right side of her stomach.

She nodded her free hand covering her face.

"Abdomen is distended," Izzie observed handing Derek the prepped ultrasound wand.

"Thank you Dr. Steevens" Derek said as he moved the wand to try and find the source of the pain.

"Derek?" Addison murmured. "Could you... first? I just need to know that..."

"Ok." Derek smiled and moved the wand to just below her belly button, "There." he grinned pointing to the screen. "Wow. Right there. See the heartbeat? He's fine."

"I'm neonatal Derek, I can see him." She smiled her hand still half covering her face, "He's huge."

"Thank god for the diabetes, otherwise he would have been to small for me to find."

"Your pregnant?" Izzie asked, shocked.

"Yeah." Addison and Derek both answered, not taking their eyes away from the screen.

"Now can we see what is hurting you?" Derek asked his wife gently.

"I don't even care anymore."

Derek laughed, "Hold still."

"Your pregnant?" Izzie repeated.

"13 weeks." Derek said quietly. "It was a bit unexpected."

"Wow." Izzie was amazed, "13 weeks. Your already in your second trimester. Wow, when people find out..."

"Don't tell anyone!" Addison said to Izzie suddenly, "I want to keep it quiet, WE want to keep it quiet."

"No. I understand, I won't tell." Izzie assured her. "This is so great!"

"You have appendicitis," Derek said suddenly, "The baby's big so he has kinda pushed it to the side, which is why you didn't figure it out right away. I'll call Burke."

"No! Not Burke. You do it."

"Addison, I can't."

"Derek, no one else will... understand."

Derek and Addison stared at each other for a few minutes. Izzie got the impression there was an entire conversation occurring that she couldn't hear.

"Would you let Richard do it?"

Addison considered for a minute. "As long no one else knows and I can sleep in my own bed tonight."

"I'll work it out with Richard." Derek kissed her forehead and stood up, "He'd do anything for you."

"Derek," Addison asked as he left the room, "You'll stay with me right?"

But he didn't hear her.

XXXX

Meredith

8:30pm

"What is going on with you?" Tyler demanded sitting down beside Meredith on a bench outside the hospital.

"Nothing," Meredith smiled.

"Now she is all smiles," Tyler rolled his eyes and looked at her, "She acts like a raving lunatic for weeks, you finally decide to call her on it and she is back to her old self.

Meredith shrugged and grinned, "I'm complex."

"Understated but accurate."

"So I was thinking," Meredith began, "That maybe we could go out."

"Sure," Tyler replied getting up, "Where do you want to go?"

"No," Meredith stood up to, trying to hide the fact that she was flustered. "Like out, out. On a date."

Tyler stared at her, "You want to date me?"

"Yes," Meredith smiled shyly, "Unless you are going to say no."

"I am not saying no."

"Good," Meredith laughed.

"Do you want to go out now?" Tyler asked awkwardly, his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah," Meredith replied laughing again and unable to stop smiling, "Oh wait," she took a step closer to him, and pulling together all her courage, she stood on her toes, placed a hand on either side of his face, and kissed him. "I was going to do that first."

XXXX

Addison

3:22am

Addison sat wearily on the edge of her hospital bed waiting for Derek to return. The small amount of medication she had allowed them to give her did nothing to help the fiery pain her her abdomen but the surgery was successful, and she was going home.

"Your chariot My Lady." Derek said with flourish as he wheeled in a chair, "The halls are empty and we can safely escape into the night."

Addison continued to sit silently.

"Do you want another shot of something before we go?"

Addison shook her head, "Derek what if this is only the start? What if things only get worse from here? Already we are almost right back where we were a year ago."

"It's going to be okay."

"You can't promise that."

"No," Derek whispered, "I can't. But I can promise that no matter what, I will love you." He reached out to put his arms around her.

"You said that before," Addison said harshly, ignoring his outstretched arms and standing up, "And look where it got us."

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So are your questions answered?

And man, I just love to have scenes with just Meredith and Addison talking. I like to think of Addison as being Meredith in 10 years. Not completely reasonable I know, but they are alike in some ways.

Anyway, I'll try to have the next chapter out soon. I am just not sure what to do with these people. I kinda know where I want them to be e few months from now, but I am not sure what to do with them in the meantime. Suggestions would be helpful.

P.S. How great was last nights episode. I am totally on team Addison on the trailer issue. I used to spend the entire summer in a trailer with my family when I was younger (we are talking 3 months for 9 years, with 5 people and a dog). Trailers are for camping not for permanent residence. I have thrown the same exact fit that Addison did, but without the trout. And I would have thrown the hairdryer at his head before I locked myself in the bathroom. He should consider himself lucky that she has some self-restraint.