OK. I know that this chapter is along time coming and for that I apologize. I am trying really hard to strike this weird balance that is apparent only to me. But alas it is written, and it is not that bad. I hope. I mean the chapters always seem good to me but I know what comes next. So all the vague little details that I put in to be explained are only the 'mean' for you guys whereas I see the end. Did that make sense? Oh well. Enjoy the chapter.

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June

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Meredith

6:05am

Meredith stretched happily within the warmth of the blankets.

"My roommates are going to start wondering where I am all the time." She smiled as she rolled on her side to look at Tyler.

"Well maybe," he replied brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes and kissing her nose, "You should just tell them."

"But it is so much fun like this." Meredith smiled again and moved closer to him, "I like it being just us."

"Me too." Tyler smiled, "I just feel weird hiding it from everyone."

"We aren't hiding," Meredith pointed out, "We are just keeping it to ourselves. If Izzie said 'Meredith, are you spending every night with Tyler having wild passionate sex that would make Cleopatra blush?' I would have to say 'Yes'."

"Wow," Tyler laughed, "I really hope she asks."

Meredith laughed too, "I bet you do."

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Derek

6:55am

Derek and Addison silently drove to work. They had stopped taking separate cars. Although neither of them would say it, they hated being at the apartment alone. This way they had to arrive at the same time and leave at the same time. They were never more then a few floor away from each other. But this also meant that they spent longer hours in the hospital, one would always be called back just as the other was finishing up. They spent most of their waking hours at the hospital.

This arrangement did not go over well with Richard. On more then one occasion he had forced one of them to leave the hospital. Derek in particular was easily distracted especially when the hours were starting to pile up, and Richard just wanted Addison at home in bed as much as possible. He quite often seemed more concerned with the state of her pregnancy then she did.

In addition, the constant long hours had not escaped the notice of the hospital gossip mill. As well as the Shepherds had been doing, long hours at the hospital was a sign that all was not right at home. McDreamy wasn't quite as Dreamy when he hadn't slept in 2 days, and Addison was not tolerating anything less then perfection from everyone around her.

But all this escaped the Shepherds attention. They were in their own worlds, lost in their own thoughts.

"What?" Addison asked softly as they drove.

"Nothing." he replied equally as quiet, dragging his eyes back to the road.

"You were staring at me."

Derek was silent. "Your hair." he paused, "I love your hair."

Addison was silent. She knew what he was getting at.

"And your eyebrows. They have a personality all of there own,"

Addison didn't respond, she just stared out the window.

Derek spoke softly and slowly glancing at her every so often so that his eyes could take in her every feature. "And your skin, your cheekbones, your eyelashes, your legs, your smile, your hands, your eyes." Derek smiled, "But mostly your hair."

The corners of Addison's lips twitched slightly as she tried not to smile, "I don't think a boy would want to have my cheekbones."

Derek glanced at Addison.

She just raised an eyebrow and shrugged slightly.

Derek couldn't help but grin.

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Addison

7:17am

Addison locked herself in the bathroom immediately upon arriving at the hospital. She shouldn't have told him. That stupid little detail was all that it had taken for him to fall completely in love with this baby. She had seen it happen before and it just made it hurt more later on.

She should be doing a better job at protecting him. It was the only way that she could protect herself.

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Meredith

9:02am

"So you know that one of the things that I like about our friendship is that we don't tell each other every little detail, right?" Cristina stated stopped Meredith in a stairwell.

"Yes."

"Okay then. I am going to give you some advice, but it is on a subject that I don't have any knowledge about, and just because I am saying this, does not mean that I want details."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tyler. You have to tell George and Izzie."

"How..."

"How do I know? Hello, Meredith. I'm Cristina I know everything, except about this, I don't know anything about this. But seriously, you have to tell them. They are driving me crazy."

"I was going to tell..."

"Don't," Cristina held up a hand to silence her, "The next time they ask me if you have told me anything I want to be able to say 'No'. Just do something before poor George's head explodes."

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Derek

12:27pm

"Addison isn't around is she?" Derek asked looking tentatively around him. He hadn't stepped foot in the nursery in weeks.

"No," Izzie smiled and gestured that he should come in, "She'll be back in a sec. She wanted to personally take one of the babies to it's mother."

Derek glanced at the baby nestled in Izzie's arms, "I'll just wait outside. I was just coming to get her for lunch."

"No, stay," Izzie invited, "I have been in here alone all day. I need communicate in something other then baby talk."

Derek smiled and stepped further into the room. He didn't know how Addison did it. Being surrounded by a dozen perfect babies made him feel excited and doomed at the same time.

Just then the phone on the wall began ringing. Izzie rolled her eye's, "Every time my hands are full." She looked around her vaguely, "Will you hold her?" she asked settling the baby into his arms before he could respond.

Derek looked down in amazement. Everything around him disappeared, it was just him and the baby. He had never experienced anything like it before. Whenever he had held his nieces and nephews as newborns there had always been family members around. Everyone fighting to get a good look or taking the baby before he even got a chance to really hold it. But this time it was just him and her. Derek staring at her in complete awe, and the baby girl with her eyes tightly shut, and her mouth slowly opening and closing, slept soundly. But the peace only lasted for a minute.

How something so small could make a noise so loud Derek would never understand. But when that angel started to cry, Derek suddenly wished that he had waited for Addison outside.

Izzie hung up the phone. "Rock her." she advised, "Just use your upper body and kinda swing from side to side."

Derek looked at her skeptically but obeyed.

"Good," Izzie smiled, touching his shoulders to adjust his swing, "Your a natural."

"She is still crying."

"Well babies cry." Izzie shrugged, "But you could try shhh-ing her." Derek stared at her, "No I'm serious. Just SHHH really loud and she'll start to calm down. It has something to do with the sounds they hear in the womb"

"Why don't you just take her back."

"You might as well learn this now." Izzie pointed out, "And if you do this, then I can get the bottles ready."

Derek continued, "Thanks Izzie."

Izzie didn't look up, "For what?"

Derek didn't answer.

Izzie turned around, "You know whenever you want, you can come up here. Hang out. Maybe pick up a few tips."

"Thanks," the baby fell peacefully back to sleep. "It worked. Where did you learn that?"

Izzie handed him a bottle, "Addison."

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Addison

12:31pm

Addison watched Derek and Izzie through the nursery window. Derek seemed so happy holding that baby. It just fit, Derek with a child. That's how it should be. He would be a good father. He will be a good father. He might be a father.

Addison watched as Izzie showed him how to soothe the baby back to sleep. I should be the one doing that. For a moment Addison considered rushing into the nursery and taking over, she should be the one with him, teaching him the numerous tricks that she had picked up in the last 15 years.

Instead, she wiped a tear from her eye and left the wing.

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Meredith

6:34pm

Meredith walk nervously into the cafeteria. She had avoided it all day, but she was going to tell her roommates about Tyler. Starting with George.

"Hey," George said as she sat down, "It seems like I haven't seen you in days."

"Yea," Meredith replied distractedly, unsure of how she was going to bring this up.

"You must have gotten up early this morning," George continued searching her face, "Did you go to the gym or something?"

"Yeah," lied Meredith.

George looked at her hard, and nodded.

He knows that was a lie. "I didn't go to the gym, George." Meredith took a deep breath, "I was with Tyler. I've been with him a lot lately. Tyler and I are..."

"I know."

"You know?"

"I just don't know why you didn't tell me sooner."

"I didn't want to hurt you." I knew that you... liked me.

"It hurt that you didn't think that you could tell me that you were happy." George paused and picked at his supper, "All I want is for you to be happy. And I know that he does... make you happy."

"Yeah, he does."

"Good. And if he ever stops making you happy, I'll kill him with my bare hands."

Meredith raised an eyebrow and laughed.

"Well I'll hire someone to kill him with their bare hands. But I'll kick his dead body really hard."

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Derek

2:03 am

Derek reached out and smoothed his hand over Addison hair as it spilled over the pillow. She was barely talking to him. He watched her chest rise and fall as she slept. As hard as they were trying, they were growing apart again. The nightmares had returned the night they found out about the baby. Her doctor had prescribed sleeping pills to help her sleep. Derek doubted that they worked. Addison still had nightmares every night.

Tonight, like every other night, he found his eyes drawn to her stomach. It was a miracle that that baby, their son, even existed. Hesitantly he reached out and touched her abdomen. He loved their baby so much that it hurt. He pulled his hand away and felt almost an immediate loss. Reaching out again he slowly pulled up the hem of Addison t-shirt and touched her stomach again, comforted by the fact that he was that much closer to his child.

"Don't get to attached Derek." Addison said into the darkness.

He hadn't realized that she had woken up.

"It will only make it harder." She reached out and placed her hand on top of his, intertwining their fingers she moved their hands so they rested closer to her heart.

"It could be different this time."

Addison was silent along time, "But what if it isn't?" she asked finally, releasing his hand and rolling over, away from him.

Derek watched his wife pull away.

When he woke up the next morning she was gone.

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Ok how good was tonight's episode. I totally called the dog thing. I figured that he would either go with Burke and Cristina or the Shepherds but I really thought that the Shepherds made the most sense. Also now the Shepherds are like a little family. And they seem so happy. I mean, would Derek agree to take a dog if he wasn't in it for the long term. A dog is a big commitment, it's right up there with having kids. Seriously, major appliance, dog, kids. I think my favorite couple is safe for awhile. I can sleep easy.

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