I didn't leave my computer my darling Lightening Lindy. Hopefully this lives up to your expectations.

As you may have noticed I skipped July. Nothing happens in July. Well actually I forgot about July and spent 3 days just planning August. So nothing happened in July. But August is really long cause it is jammed full of fun (and I use the term fun loosely). So everyday in August gets it's own little section and it is going to be 4 CHAPTERS LONG! How much do you love me? Don't all yell at once. Oh and some of it is going to be Izzie's POV, I know, CRAZINESS!

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August

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Addison

August 1st

Addison leaned against the door to the bathroom. She knew that her husband was standing, probably pacing, outside but she just didn't want to deal with him right now. Unfortunately she had to go to work and there was only one way out. Just please don't say anything.

"Addy..."

"Derek," Addison said irritably as she emerged, "I am fine."

Derek remained silent as he watched her continue to get ready. She was pale. Very pale. "Maybe you should get it checked out. Just to be safe."

"Derek! Obstetrics is my field. It's nothing."

"Ok." Derek relented, sitting on the bed and continuing to watch her. "You look beautiful."

"Derek..."

"You do." He smiled, coming around behind her and resting his chin on her shoulder, as she gazed into the mirror, "Pregnancy has always suited you. You even look good with the belly."

Addison glanced down uneasily, it was getting increasingly difficult to hide her stomach.

"I was thinking that after work, if you were feeling better, we could go shopping and get some new clothes." Derek teased kissing her on the cheek and retreating to the chair in the corner, "Designer Maternity Wear!"

Addison ignored him. She just continued to move around the room. Every few minutes she would pause, press her hand to her stomach and take a deep breath.

"Addison." Derek was at her side in a flash.

Dear God..."Not now," she murmured as she rushed to the bathroom again.

Derek was unable to do anything except stand outside the door and listen to his wife be sick.

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Derek

August 2nd

It was Derek's favorite time of day. Well night actually. However distant Addison could be during the day, and she was quite distant lately, she always reached for him at night. She would fall asleep as far away from him as possible, but as soon as her sleep became uneasy he would reach out and wrap his arms around her and she would hold on to him tightly for the rest of the night unable to get close enough. It was his favorite time. It was his time. His time to be with his wife and with their child.

Most nights he would leave the door to the nursery open. From where he lay he could see the crib. He held Addison tighter as he remember putting the room together. It was the only thing that he and Addison had done together to get ready for the baby, and it was mostly done separately.

The nursery used to be Addison's walk in closet. It was quite large and featured it's own skylight. He came home from work late one night and found that she had gone through both of their wardrobes and separated everything that was out of season or that they didn't wear. Before he went to bed that night he moved all the extra clothes into the closets of the spare rooms.

A few days later Addison moved all her things into his closet leaving the bigger one empty. By the next week Derek had taken down all the hardware in the room and had repaired all the holes in the walls. 2 days later he walked into the room to find paint clips taped to a diagram telling him what colours went where. The next time Addison came home from a long shift the nursery was painted a soft green.

Thing continued like this for most of July. She dug the chest full of baby things out of the storage closet, He carried his grandfathers rocking chair up from the den. She bought pictures and hung them on the walls, he bought books and lined them up in the bookcase by the rocking chair. He bought new lighting and installed a monitoring system, she bought a changing table and blankets.

They went together, in silence, to get the disassembled crib from the shed at the trailer. They sat together on the floor of the nursery, in silence, and put it together again. They didn't even need the instructions this time.

Derek couldn't wait until he could look over to that crib at night and know that his son was asleep inside. Everything was coming together perfectly.

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Meredith

August 3rd

"You look happy," Meredith said, sitting down next to Derek in the OR gallery. Addison was performing surgery on a 3 day old preemie.

Derek raised his eyebrow and smiled, "I am happy."

"You look it."

They sat in silence for awhile.

"Can I ask you something?" Meredith asked finally. "Since you are in such a good mood and all.

"Sure."

"We're friends right?"

"Best friends," Derek assured her, "Soul mates."

"Soul mates?" Meredith teased, "I wouldn't mention that to Addison."

Derek shrugged, "Go ahead. Your my best friend and soul mate, she is my best friend and love of my life," he grinned, "There is more then enough McDreamy to go around."

"Okay, shut up," Meredith shook her head and hit him on the arm, "I have a serious question to ask."

"Fine, then I'll give you a serious answer."

"What made you realize that you had to pick her?" Meredith asked.

Derek chuckled, "See, this is what I like about you. You don't waste words."

"This is what I don't like about you," she countered, "You avoid my questions.

Derek laughed out loud causing the other people in the room to look at them, "Fair enough," he paused, "It was you."

"Me?"

"Ya, you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"What could I have done to make you go back to your wife?" Meredith asked.

"Your speech."

"The one were I begged you to love me?" Meredith asked, embarrassed, "I'm going to have the hire a new speech writer."

"No, it was a good speech. Perfect," Derek looked at her and smiled, "And just for the record I would give you my last piece of cheesecake too."

"So?"

"So, you made me realize that its more then cheesecake and taste in music. It's bigger. I wouldn't just give up a piece of cheesecake for her, I would give up everything I have, my life, my happiness for her. Not to be heroic, not to prove something but because I love her that much and I want her to be happy no matter what. Even if it's not with me."

"But she cheated. How can you just forget that?"

Derek stared hard at her. "It's not about forgetting, it's about forgiving. It was never that she had sex with my best friend, although that really hurt, it was that she needed something that I wasn't giving her" he explained, "At first I thought that she didn't love me anymore, and I couldn't stay there and look at her and know that I wasn't what she wanted. But then I realized that all that happened, it was my fault too. I pushed her away when she needed me, I wasn't there for her. We started to grow apart and neither of us did anything to stop it. And when we realized it was happening there was no easy way to get it back, it was to late. Addison sleeping with Mark was the best thing that has happened in our relationship in the last 3 years."

"What?" Meredith was astonished at what Derek had just said."But you left her. You moved to the other side of the country."

"And she followed me." Derek could tell that Meredith didn't get it so he continued, "The most telling part about a relationship is how you end your fights. If it's not resolved right then, usually someone leaves because they need space to work things out in their head. Then one of three things could happen. One, the person that left could come back, two, the person that stays could go after the person that left and force them to deal with it.

"What's the third?"

"Neither of them could do anything. I needed to know that she would do something, that she wouldn't give up."

"But then why did you have such a hard time choosing her?"

"I didn't want to get hurt again, and I guess I didn't want to hurt her. Or you. I wouldn't have survived this without you."

"I just made things harder," Meredith sighed looking through the glass at Addison.

"Not really. You were mostly just a scapegoat when we fought. Addison knew that I love you, but she also knew I love her. You were an easy way for us to get out other things that we had pent up. Which by the way, I'm sorry for."

Meredith shrugged,"You know when I asked, I just expected you to say 'I realized I loved her not you'."

"But I do love you. There is like an invisible umbilical cord connecting us."

"Derek," Meredith looked him straight in the eye, "That is the most rediculous thing that you have ever said to me. You suck at analogies."

"I know, it's no 'I'm a sink with an open drain' ," he teased "But it's still true."

"So your happy?"

Derek smiled, "Ya I'm happy. How could I not be. Everything is perfect."

"Good."

"Are you? Happy?"

"Ya. I really am happy."

Derek reached over and squeezed her hand, "I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

Meredith looked at him, "But if you hadn't, we wouldn't be so happy now."

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Addison

August 4th

Addison paced the floor of the hospital bathroom where she had spent most of the week hiding out and trying to keep what little food was in her stomach in her stomach.

This is ridiculous, she sighed as she pushed open the door.

"Hey," Izzie greeted her immediately.

No wonder no one walked in there for over an hour. I have a sentry parked outside.

"I know you don't feel well, but you need to eat for the ba...," Izzie stopped herself, "I brought you some soup."

Addison stomach instantly started to churn, "Jesus Izzie," She hissed, disappearing into the bathroom once again.

XXXX

Izzie

August 5th

"Dr. Shepherd I need to talk to you," Izzie said nervously as she approached Derek.

"Ok," Derek smiled and closed his chart giving Izzie his complete attention.

"It's Dr. Shepherd, your wife. I think there is something wrong," Izzie paused nervously, but when Derek didn't stop her she realized that he saw it to. "She hasn't said anything," Izzie continued, "but she hasn't been eating much, and when she does she is getting sick. I asked her if she was ok and she said she just had a headache and was tired. Also she is exhibiting a lot of signs of dehydration, aside from the headache and the exhaustion, her hands are cold, her skin looks dry, her eyes are sunken in..."

"Ok," Derek interrupted her, "What would be your informal diagnoses?"

"Well it could just be that her sugar is low or she is not getting enough water."

"What do you think is wrong with her Izzie?"

"Hyperemesis Gravidarum," Izzie sighed, "She is showing all the signs, extreme nausea, vomiting and dehydration. It's pretty easy to treat but..."

"She'd have to be admitted." Derek finished, "She won't do that." Derek was silent for a moment, "I need to talk to some people," he said finally, "And I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure," Izzie agreed.

"Ok," Derek murmured, more to himself then to Izzie.

"I need to to get everything that she needs to be treated and stash it somewhere. Maybe take it to your place for the night, I don't know."

"You want me to steal hospital supplies?"

"And equipment. Try to get a portable ultrasound."

Izzie's eye's grew large, "Seriously? I don't think..."

"Don't worry. You won't get in trouble," Derek said absent mindedly as he walked away, "Just don't say anything to Addison."

Izzie stood in the middle of the hallway. Contemplating the situation.

"Your planning something." Cristina declared as she planted herself in front of Izzie.

"No I'm not," Izzie denied as she tried to move past her.

"Oh you so are." Cristina grinned, "What is it."

"Nothing."

"Nothing. Right."

"Honest. It's nothing. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes," Cristina exclaimed, grabbing Izzie's arm, "Come on tell me. I'm the Edward Norton to your Brad Pitt. Fight Club. It's our thing. Illegal Autopsies. Pregnant guys..."

"Fine," Izzie relented, "But this Fight club is so underground..."

"Ya whatever," Cristina was practically giddy, "What are we doing?"

"We are stealing some supplies..." Izzie began, as she walked down the hall"... and equipment."

"Kids stuff," Cristina declared.

"And then we have to hide it somewhere in the house and pray that Meredith and George don't find it until I can get it to... where it is going."

Cristina bit her lip, "Huh," she sighed, "That could be tricky."

"Ya," Izzie agreed as they continued walking.

"But I have a solution," She stopped and grinned, "I still have my apartment. We can hide it there."

Izzie smiled, "Perfect."

"And you thought you could do this on your own."

"Did you get everything?" Derek asked Izzie as he met her in the stairwell a few hours later.

"Ya. Everything is hidden away until you need it."

"Thanks Izzie," Derek smiled slightly.

Izzie just smiled and continued up the stairs.

XXXX

Derek

August 6th

"Addison you haven't been able to keep anything down in days."

"It's nothing Derek. Just a little morning sickness." Addison said under her breath as the passed a group of nurses.

"It's not a little anything Addy." Derek reached for her elbow, forcing her to look at him, "Your loosing weight, your pale and tired. I'm worried about you."

"Don't be," she said cooly as she walked away.

"Addison," he said angrily, "You and I both know that it is to late for you to be having morning sickness."

"Derek," Addison fumed, her eyes flashing, "We will talk about this later."

"Fine. But you are going home. Now."

"Derek!"

"I talked to Webber..."

"You talked to Richard..."

"I talked to Richard, and he is going to tell people that you are on a consultation out of town, so you can take all the time you need to get better."

"Derek, I am not..."

"I also talked to Izzie..."

"Izzie!"

"I put her in charge. You don't come back to work until she says so. She'll bring you any charts you want and she'll get you any medication you need. But you are not setting one foot out of the apartment until we say so."

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Addison

August 7th

I cannot believe this. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

And her. Addison looked disdainfully at the IV Izzie had hooked her up to the night before. I hate her too. How dare she do this. What right does she have to be telling me what it wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. If there was something wrong I would fix it.

God I hate him. If he thinks that I am talking to him anytime soon he is sorely mistaken. For my own good. Right. I can take care of myself. I was doing perfectly fine before he interfered. He is reading way to much into this. He has read way to much into all of this. He is getting to involved and it isn't right. He should have just left me alone.

Addison leaned against the headboard of the bed and closed her eyes, absent mindedly she rubbed her stomach in small circles. Stop kicking me sweetheart. It makes mommy sad when you do that. You know I love you very much, but it hurts my heart to feel you moving. Why don't we just have a nap ok? You and me. We will both take a nap and then we will feel better. Ok? You just stay nice and still and everything will be ok. Everything is going to be ok. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, just remember that.

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Meredith

August 8th

"What are you doing?" Meredith laughed as Tyler dragged her into the cafeteria.

"We are celebrating."

"Celebrating what?"

"Our anniversary," he explained as he led her over to a table covered with a table cloth and real dishes.

"It's not our anniversary. We don't have an anniversary."

"I cannot believe that you forgot." Tyler shook his head in disappointment, "Exactly 9 weeks and 5 days ago today you kissed me for the first time."

Meredith laughed as she placed her clothe napkin in her lap, "We are celebrating the fact that almost 10 weeks ago I kissed you."

"9 weeks and 5 days. For the first time."

"Are we going to celebrate everything?"

Tyler shrugged, "Why not? There's cake."

"Well in that case, Friday is the 2 month anniversary of the first time we had sex. Make sure it's chocolate."

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Derek

August 9th

Derek sat quietly in the nursery. He figured if he sat there long enough curiosity would get the best of her and Addison would speak to him.

He was right.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly, pulling the IV pole behind her as she entered the room.

"Come see," he invited her, moving so that she could sit in the rocking chair. "See," he said kneeling beside her and handing her some papers, "It's a cottage. I thought we could build it where the trailer is and that way we could see the river from the kitchen and family room," he pointed, "And from the master bedroom upstairs."

Addison nodded and Derek continued.

"We could put a guest bedroom here for when Weiss and Sav want to escape Manhattan. And here," he pointed to two rooms beside the master bedroom, "are the kids rooms."

"Kids," Addison whispered.

"Yeah. I thought that maybe once the little man grew up a bit we would press our luck and try for a girl. You never know. We got one miracle already." Derek smiled at Addison and looked back down at his plans, "And I thought that maybe next summer I would start building him a tree house. He won't be able to use it for a few years but..."

"Derek stop." Addison exclaimed, standing up.

"What's the matter?"

"You just have to stop. All of it." Addison headed for the door, "Just stop."

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Addison

August 10th

Addison sat in the dark silently fuming. This wasn't working, and she was going to tell him.

Derek stirred in his sleep and reached out for her. Finding her not there he allowed himself to wake up. "What's wrong Lady? Nightmare?"

Addison shook her head, "No. I was just thinking."

Derek got out of bed and kissed her on the forehead, "Oh," he sat on the floor in front of her chair, "I was dreaming about you," he told her, "You and me and the baby. We were at the beach, and you were explaining to the baby that he was to small to swim but..."

"Derek, no, this isn't working." Addison said suddenly.

"What?" Derek stuttered, turning to face her.

"We aren't working." Addison choaked out, "Or I'm not working. I don't know."

Derek knelt in front of her and took both her hands in his, "Addy..."

"No." Addison cried, tears beginning to stream down her face, "I can't be with you right now. I can't."

"Addison," Derek's voice caught in his throat, "What are you saying."

"I think you should leave," she sobbed quietly.

"No..."

"You have to Derek. I can't be around you right now. Just please leave."

Sobs shook both their bodies as he buried his face in her lap, and she buried her face in his hair.

"I can't leave you." Derek murmured against her thigh, "I love you."

"That's how I know you'll go," she whispered, tears falling into his hair.

Derek looked up and nodded, "OK." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against her stomach, "I love you," he whispered to the baby. Slowly he stood. He leaned forward and brushed a few tears off of Addison's face. "I love you more then you could possibly imagine," he told her as he gently kissed her good bye.

"I love you too," she replied as he picked up his keys and slowly left the room, "That's why I'm doing this."

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Agh. I can't believe that she did that. Agh. I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted that she needed her space and he had to go. I am not even kidding. I was so mad when I realized that Addison was going to kick him out that I immediately e-mailed Steph (Beauty and the Breakdown, to whom I don't give nearly enough credit) and complained that Addison was destroying my story. Agh I can't believe she is doing this to me.

But on the bright side they were adorable in sundays episode. I remain as hopefull as ever (especially since I saw some pics from an upcoming episode).

REVIEW! I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING! DO IT NOW!