Specials thanks to my beta, Aurora Novarum.
It is a telling contrast, the man and the machine.
I, the machine, envied the man for a long time. I knew he would find our lost wife. He would continue to see things no human has seen. He would have our homes on both Earth and Abydos and would continue to see all those we love. He wouldn't be spending his life repairing a machine that is the last vestige of a dying world.
However, in the end, I gained something I'm sure the man has not found, even with Sha're. Peace. For in the time we have spent on Altair, I had the opportunity to turn inward. I have gained much: acceptance of circumstance, discovery of my inner self, a sense of my true purpose. Things I never would have known running around in the world, constantly moving to escape my pain, my insecurities, my sense of failure.
I lost my freedom and gained my soul. By freeing myself from the search, I discovered the true power that was hidden within. And when Jack decided we needed to become explorers again, I found I could live my purpose. To serve humankind, whether through sharing knowledge or making a simple connection. To extend compassion to those in pain. To protect those who are prisoners to fear.
I do not know the forces that have shaped the man in the time since we parted. If things continued like before, I imagine he has seen much betrayal, death and destruction. I can only imagine the toll that would have taken. How much pain can a soul take? I'm grateful I do not have to find out.
And now here I am, bound and powerless, taking the place of the man. I am roughly thrown to the ground.
Sounds like Earth has a treaty that protects them. I am relieved to hear it. They continue to be safe. Cronus is now threatening Teal'c. Won't he be surprised when the truth comes out.
"You will all pay for your sins."
Not mine. The man. But it is a debt I am willing to pay.
The thought of an end to the eternity dance brings surprising relief.
I no longer fear death. It has no hold on me.
They hand the staff to the young warrior who first identified us, who was betrayed. He looks unsure. The room vibrates with oppression.
I know now what is going to happen. I was in his shoes another lifetime ago. I got lucky. I am sorry there will be no rebellion to save him from this.
I'm caught off guard as an arm pulls at me and drags me forward. My body is roughly thrust in front of Cronus.
Of course. How fitting. The first sacrifice will be me.
I feel Jack's eyes upon me, hidden amongst the warriors. I meet his eyes. I'm sorry Jack. I know you want to help me. I don't know if you can. But you're safe, you can help Sam and Teal'c. Bide your time. When the truth comes out, the confusion will give you the diversion you need.
He acknowledges me over the internal link. He hasn't given up hope of saving me yet. I take one long, last look at my best friend, remembering all that we have shared.
"In honour of your God, kill him."
Startled, I look back at my sentencer.
This is it. I'm going to die.
I refuse to look back at Sam and Teal'c. They know I do not wish to show any sign of weakness in front of the Goa'uld.
But I can hear their thoughts over the interlink. Teal'c is telling me how honoured he is to have known me. Sam is determined but crying inside. Jack is wanting to blow up everything to save me.
The young warrior hesitates. The Jaffa move to point their weapons at his people. He has no option now but to do what Cronus asks. He looks at his men and makes his decision.
"Kill him!"
With resignation, the warrior points the staff at me.
I look over to Jack and slightly shake my head. No, Jack. This isn't the time. Let me go.
My executioner steels himself. I meet his eyes.
I understand. I forgive.
He opens the trigger, and it sparks.
I close my eyes. There is nothing left to see.
Goodbye, my friends. I love you.
I submerge myself in a sea of peace and know no pain.
