RANDOMLY INSANE DRABBLES!

Those talking walls…

DISCLAIMER: POINLESS! Yup…I don't own anything but the insane plot here.

Edward moved about the room looking at each little detail. Edward was a new designer for houses. He drew a horribly looking picture and he would use it to design someone's home. Well, once Ed finally got his driver's license, he decided to try for a new job, instead of being a dog of the military, so he could afford his own vehicle instead of always borrowing Riza's. Ed decided to be a designer. He had always had these vibrant dreams, so why not show these dreams to the world? He thought that it would be an awesome idea.

So, one day, he came to the military headquarters and walked to Roy's office. Walking in, without even a knock at the door, Ed stopped at the entrance and held a hand to his chin in tho8ght as he scouted out the area. Roy looked up, quite surprised Ed wasn't yelling when he first set foot into his room. Ah well, he'd have to make Ed scream by calling him short, again. If you didn't notice it, then you were obviously brain dead, but Roy LOVED to tease Ed of his height.

But Ed continued to look around Roy's room, automatically visualizing what it would be like if he were to design it. Then Ed removed his hand and walked over to Roy. Roy opened his mouth to say something, but Ed leaned over his desk and pressed a finger to his lips. Roy blushed a hot crimson color and his body felt like it was burning.

Ed then spoke softly, "Roy, I'm gonna do you a favor…" Roy raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair, as Ed straightened his body up.

"What is this favor you speak of?" Ed smiled very femininely and looked at Roy intently.

"I'm gonna design your office." He said as Roy's face turned from questionable to freaked out.

"WH…WH…WHAT?" Roy shouted with much fear in his eyes.

Ed sighed and shook his head as he sat down on the sofa in Roy's office. Crossing a leg over the other one, Ed piped up, "Yes, I'm gonna design your room."

Had Ed lost it? Roy was severely scared now and he stood up. I'm gonna made Ed realize what he's saying, thought Roy, so…I'm outta here!

Roy dashed out of his room and Ed stood up, a look of concerned spread over his face. As Ed began to walk over to the door, Roy slammed it shut and locked it.

Now, Ed had given up alchemy when he became a designer, so he wasn't about to use it to get himself out of there. Ed sat back at the sofa and sighed. Over the minutes, he switched positions, shifting and moving, for he was very uncomfortable. He hated being cramped up in small spaces and this just happened to be small enough to make Ed feel awkward.

Edward stood and walked over to a wall and just randomly kicked it. Then he looked at it and with a sigh, started to talk to it, "So, how've ya been?"

No response.

"Are you ignoring me?" He asked the wall.

Again, no response.

"You bastard, talk to me!" He cried out and began to kick the wall with his left foot, creating large dents and cracks to appear.

Suddenly, "Will you quite kicking the living shit out of me?" Ed stood and stared dumbfounded.

"You….you…"

"Is that ALL you have to say to me? I stand here, everyday, all day, and let people hang things on me by hammering nails into me, and now you kick me and all I get is a 'you'?" The wall rambled. Edward was in complete and utter shock.

"YOU TALK!" The wall grunted and rolled its eyes. "AND YOU HAVE EYES!"

"Yes, Edward Elric, I TALK! I have EYES! D'uh!" The wall said with a sigh.

Suddenly Ed fainted and died. Then, Roy came in and sat at his desk and looked at the alchemist. "Whoops…" he said shrugging. Suddenly, the wall spoke.

"Hello Roy." Roy looked at the wall and pulled out his gloved hand with the alchemy circle on it. Snapping his fingers, he burned the wall into billions of tiny itsy bitsy pieces of chop liver. Then he ate Edward's head and proceeded to throw himself out of a window. Ed woke up and laughed, even though he didn't have a head to do so.

Riza came in and started shooting Edward until he turned into nothing. Then, Havoc burned Riza with his cigarette…again…and killed her…

Sadly, there was no funeral for Roy but one for Ed. Nobody showed up, though. Sadly… v.v

A/N: Well, that was the longest and WEIRDEST drabble ever. I'm weird. Ed's a designer and he's talking to walls. How awkward. LOL! Enjoy. OwO