Chapter Twenty Nine

Disturbing Discussions

"Mademoiselle?"

Christine opened her eyes to little Jammes' face as she smiled down at her. Christine smiled and Jammes squealed, throwing her arms around Christine in a tight hug. Christine laughed and hugged her back.

"Oh! I am so glad you are back!" Jammes said, near tears. Christine glanced to her side...what did she expect, of course Erik was not there! He found it easier to avoid situations then talk about them.

"Things have been so terrible without you here!" Jammes continued, helping Christine up so she could dress. Christine frowned.

"Really, why?" she wondered, curious. She had not thought anyone would really notice her absence. Jammes began lacing Christine's corset and Christine took several breaths, knowing she would not be able to breath for awhile.

"The master! He has been horrible!" Jammes replied. Christine turned to the woman who she thought of as a friend and grasped her shoulders.

"What has he said while I was gone?" she wondered. Jammes seemed surprised by Christine's great interest but she smiled none the less.

"More like what he has not said! Every night you could hear him shouting at no one in particular and he threw stuff around, you could hear furniture hitting the walls at all hours of the night! Quite scary if you ask me!" Jammes explained.

"Why did he do that?" Christine wondered.

"He missed you, of course! It was your name that could be heard all the time!" Jammes said. Christine dropped to her knees on the cold floor. What did this mean? Did it mean he cared for her? Or was he angry because of the kiss she gave Philippe? Why could he not tell her?

"Christine, I believe you should hurry and dress. The master is waiting for you in the library."

xXx

"We will not talk about what happened between us last night," Erik said the moment she walked into the library. His back was to her as he stared out the window and Christine took a moment to study him. He wore black formal trousers with a matching shirt that seemed to enhance how slim he was. His shoulders seemed slightly hunched, as if this conversation was going to take much from him.

"Erik-"

"No. We will talk about why it took me so long to come for you and my actions that caused you to leave. Not last night," he interrupted.

"Not talking about it will not make me better!" Christine insisted.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Christine!" he said, desperately needing to say that. She approached him and laid her hand on his back, causing him to stiffen.

"Yes there is, Erik. I wanted to make love to you last night...I was just scared," she whispered. He turned to her, hurt in his eyes.

"I would not hurt you!" he said.

"You already did," she replied so softly he almost did not hear her. He wished he had not heard her.

"No, Christine, I did not-"

"You turned from me when I needed you the most! Do you think that what happened that night with Philippe was something I could just forget?" she demanded.

"It was not easy for me either!" he snapped.

"I know that! I wanted to be there for you so perhaps we could find comfort in eachother! You did not want that!" Christine whispered. She was so tired of arguing with him!

"You had just kissed the man I hated beyond anything on this earth, Christine!" he growled. Christine began to cry and she shoved against him with her fists.

"You think I wanted to kiss him! Every moment I touched him was like hell to me! I knew you might hate me because of it and I still did it because I had to save your stupid life! I love you, Erik!" she cried, pounding on him with her fists. Erik said nothing as she let out her anger. Hearing her say she loved him even after everything he had done was a miracle he would never forget.

"You are such a pig headed, stubborn man!" she continued. Erik grabbed her by the shoulders, bringing her gaze to his.

"Say it again," he insisted. Her face was flushed and her breasts rose and fell with the force of her breathing.

"Pig headed-"

"No, Christine, tell me you love me," he whispered. Christine pulled away from his hands, needing room to think.

"I should not love you...not after what you did," she whispered.

"I was scared," he whispered. Christine's eyes found his.

"What?"

"I was scared that after my hasty words you would finally realize why you could never love a man like me," he said.

"Why could I not love 'a man like you'?" she asked.

"My past...my face," Erik replied, ashamed of himself. He could not even be called a man! No man would ever do the things he had done.

"None of that matters to me! But how can I forgive you for accusing me of betraying your love with Philippe!" she sobbed.

"I said things to hastily...I just could not get that picture out of my head," he whispered brokenly, "The way you kissed him and the way he kissed you. It is something I want to forget."

He looked so broken and alone. They were both so alone.

"Let me give you something to replace that memory," she whispered. Erik looked up from the floor just in time for Christine to give him the most passionate kiss she had ever bestowed on anyone. She cupped his face in her hands, one rough skin and the other smooth porcelain. He could taste her tears on his lips as he kissed her back, putting everything he was into it. Christine pulled away only slightly so she could whisper to him.

"I love you, Erik," she whispered. His eyes stared deeply into hers for a long time. His hand reached out and traced her lips.

"I am sorry, Christine...for everything," he whispered.