How Not to Be an Idiot
By Aurelie D.
When reading fan fiction, the reader would want it to be just like if it was written by the author. It's true! That's why it's called fan fiction. You admire something written by someone, and wish that they had written more. But I've read some pretty bad fan fictions. If you want to write fan fiction, you CANNOT be illiterate!
Here is a list of suggestions to make your work better:
1) USE SPELLCHECK. I cannot stand it when I'm reading something and the writer spelled something easy like "legend" wrong. "Legind"! Come on…
2) USE CORRECT GRAMMAR! Just because you're posting something on the internet and not handing it into your teacher doesn't mean the laws of grammar don't apply to you. You can't write "She done went to the store" unless that's part of the style of the piece. It's like going to the opera wearing overalls and flip flops.
3) USE CORRECT PUNCTUATION! Okay, it really irks me when nobody uses commas. They are essential! Commas represent a pause in the sentence. Nobody says "Wow what a great night I was so tired and then I went to school and went home and went to a party and got drunk and then drove drunk and got busted by the cops but then they let me off because I'm a movie star and stuff." Ugh.
4) USE THE CORRECT STYLE! Fan fictions are based off of somebody else's work. If the person's work that you're copying is serious, don't try to make it funny. That's just stupid, and you make yourself look like an idiot. For instance, if you're doing a fan fiction of J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, you don't make Holden Caulfield say, "I would like to own a horse. It is at least human, for goodness sake." That's out of character! Holden would say, "I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake." (And J.D. Salinger spelled "goddamn" without the "n," so don't tell me I'm a hypocrite.)
5) JUST SOMETHING THAT IRKS ME… There is a correct way to use "your" and "you're." I hate it SO MUCH when I'm reading and someone had written, "Your stupid." OH MY GOD, I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THEM A QUICK PUNCH TO THE JAW! "You're" is a contraction of "you are," and "your" is possessive. That's your coat. Just where do you think you're going? She's going to your house. You're stupid! There you go.
I hope you enjoyed that list. It should make you better at writing, and it should make me less mad at you. People will compliment your work. I won't send you an angry comment, criticizing your punctuation and grammar. Your grades will go up, too. You should thank me.