Chapter 18
The instant they arrive back in Pitch's cave, Jack slumps against him. "I'm fine," she insists, but does not try to wriggle away when Pitch's arm wraps around her further.
"Jack," he says. She looks up at him and the bruise on her cheek, already lighter due to the blessing Sera- Mother Nature bestowed, stops him, whatever he was going to say dying on his tongue. "Jack," he says, at a loss. "I- I didn't- I'm sorry, I wasn't here to-"
"Hey," she says, soothing. "It's okay, I'm fine, this isn't your fault."
"But it is," he argues, finally allowing any emotion beyond tightly coiled rage to seep into his voice. "If I'd been here, that damned rabbit wouldn't have been able to take you, he wouldn't have hurt you even further! This is-" His arm drops and he turns away from Jack, letting out a wordless snarl. "This place was supposed to be safe for you."
He can't meet her gaze, but he can feel her staring at him, bright blue eyes wide. The moment stretches, the silence interminably heavy with something Pitch daren't name. (It is his own fear, the gaping chasm in his mind taunts him, It has been so long since you have let yourself feel it, isn't it Gener-)
"Let's sit, okay?" Jack says softly, like he is a skittish animal, like he has fallen victim to one of his own nightmares and now must be reassured of reality. "We can just take a minute, relax and calm down."
He nods, further words locked in his throat because he does not want to scare Jack away, does not want her scared at all, but he is so angry he wants to go out and tear the thrice damned Pooka limb from limb, finish what he started there, run North through with his own cutlass for calling that farce of a meeting, because really, the water? Was that really the best the fool in the Moon could come up with, because he did not buy that for two seconds, that conniving old busybody-
"Pitch."
His head jerks up to see Jack hovering beside him before she gently alights on the floor, her pale feet almost engulfed by the shadows that extend far beyond him, threatening to swallow them both whole should he wish it. She stands before him, the lone bright spot in this cavern amidst all his darkness and she is… worried?
"Make us a place to sit," Jack suggests and he does so, sitting on the bench when she gestures pointedly with her staff from him to do so. She balances her staff upright and channels just enough frost through it to stick to the ground and stay upright, then sits next to him. "This was not your fault. Don't!" She cuts him off when he opens his mouth. "Don't. You gave me shelter when I was hurt. You came after me when you thought something happened to me. You weren't the one who attacked me, you did not hurt me so this? Is not. Your. Fault."
"But I left you alone," Pitch argues. "If I had been here-"
"Bad timing, happens all the time," Jack retorts. "Pun unintended," she adds after a moment. "If you'd been here when the Easter Kangaroo showed up you probably would have kicked his ass, but then they wouldn't have known that I'm with you of my own free will and to stop bothering me." She rolls her eyes. "That's been so annoying, seriously, I know you guys have issues, but wow do they like to make you the bad guy."
Pitch snorts, unwillingly amused. "They're not wrong. I've killed… quite a few people. I'm not a good person, Jack."
"You're good to me," Jack says with a shrug, like it's that simple. "You didn't have to be, could have just written me off like everyone else, but you didn't." She tilts her head, a small but sad smile tugging at her lips. "Even now, you're trying to keep from doing anything to scare me when you're the Bogeyman and fear is your thing. You care, Pitch, and that's not a bad thing."
Of course he cares about Jack, how could he not, with her effervescent spirit, her mischievous demeanor, the way she lights up just about every place she's in even though no one could see her, how could he not care, how could he not love her-
Oh.
Oh.
"And really, it's not like I'm perfect either," Jack is saying, completely unaware of the life-altering realization Pitch has just had shoved in his face. "Winter is harsh, it's not all snowball fights and snow days, people can die out there if they're not careful. Not every spirit is lucky enough to immediately be seen as… friendly, I guess. All around good. And hey!" She perks up, giving Pitch a teasing nudge in the side with her elbow. "You've got me to keep you from going on any murder sprees, like earlier today, right?"
Pitch just stares at her, this baffling breath of literal fresh air. He loves her. He is in love with her.
"Hey, don't go staring off into thin air again," Jack scolds, and then her hands are against his cheeks, bringing his face down to meet her at eye level, bright and determined blue holding surprised silver flecked amber. "I'm here for you, okay? If you're having murdery thoughts or whatever, we can talk about that, or fight about that, or whatever. That's what friends do, they help each other out when they're having problems."
"Yes, friends do that," Pitch echoes. Friends also probably tell friends when they've just realized they're in love with said friend, but he is fairly certain that there is only so much upheaval they can both take in one day. He brings his hands to gently clasp around Jack's wrists and slide her hands from his face, absentmindedly brushing his thumbs across the back of her hands. "Friends can also go and shout at the Moon together."
Jack grins, her cheeks and the tips of her ears tinged purplish blue. "Yeah, they can. Maybe after a nap though. I've got a long list of shit to yell at him."
It seriously means so much to me that so many of you are still following this story after all this time ;w; Love you all 333
So, looks like updates are going to be on Saturday (Sunday is for chilling with my cats and doing laundry and shit) for the foreseeable future, mostly bc blech full time job. Though I did get Friday off bc we had a storm that knocked out power and my job is about 90% done on computers, so it was nice to lounge around with my cats and get writing done on a day I would normally work ^v^