Yup. Here is chapter two. We worked on it at school. She comes up with plot, and I add the comedy! It all works out!
Disclaimer: If you have read this, you defiantly know I own nothing……except Moe.
It had been two days since they had been to Tim Hortons. Two long dull days, where nothing happened, except that the Trix Rabbit still didn't get his Trix. Damn those kids.
Anyway, after two days had passed, Artemis realized that he didn't scheme on the day. He really needed to. So while he and Butler were walking around a different city, he began to look for places.
Butler, meanwhile, stopped at every water fountain to get a drink. He bought a drink at every pop machine, and he stole a vanilla coke from some kid, who needed vanilla to live, because of some imaginary disease. The kid died after he didn't get his vanilla that day.
Soon, after a while, the water built up in Butler. This time, he really had to go to the bathroom. He tapped Artemis on the shoulder and requested to go.
Artemis snorted. "This isn't another one of your escapades to fake having to go to the bathroom, but really to go buy a donut, is it?"
Butler shook his head. "I don't eat donuts any more. Not since……" he trailed off shivering, at the thought of Moe.
Artemis raised an eyebrow. (My friend was proved wrong that she was the only one so ha!...sorry. continuing.) "Are you sure Butler? How can I trust you?"
"Would a face like this lie to you?" Butler asked, picking up a kitten, and lifted it to Artemis's face. The kitty mewled, and then jumped away, leaving to go kill something.
"No, I guess a face like that wouldn't lie to me. Ok. You can go. But you have to be back in five minutes, or I'm coming for you!" Artemis finished the statement in a spooky voice. Butler was unfazed. Artemis had no physical skill what so ever.
The body guard ran off to a Burger King, and ran to the bathroom hallway. There were three doors. On labeled 'Women', one labeled 'Men', and one labeled 'Bodyguards'. Butler went in the bodyguards' room, and went. Suddenly he heard a wheezing noise. He got a bad feeling about it.
Artemis was counting the seconds. This could be just like last time, if one wasn't careful. Even a creepy warehouse stood behind him. Wait. He could just do his scheming now, and then go get Butler.
After all, the gunman and he had gone through so much together, enough to have a moment good enough to be labeled Kodak! He doubted that any one would shoot him today….because…..well…..I don't feel like telling you that! So ha!
He approached the ware house, when suddenly two figures ran out. Well one actually flew out, but the same thing. As they got closer they revealed themselves to be Tony the Tiger, and Toucan Sam!
Tony ran up to Artemis and grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "What ever you do, do not go in that warehouse!"
Artemis was confused. "Why?"
Tony shook him harder. "Because it's not grrrrreat!"
Sam shivered. "Follow your nose and get out of here!" he yelled. Tony dropped Artemis, and ran off, followed by the Toucan. They were soon hit by a bus, and were mourned buy many children who watch their commercials.
Artemis was curious. He peeked in the warehouse. It was dark and dusty. Perfect for scheming. In the center of the room there was a light switch. Artemis went inside. The door behind him shut, but he ignored it.
Needing light, he pulled the switch, and the light came on. He sighed. Then an eerie sound was heard. The sound was turned into music. The music turned slow and sexy sounding. Artemis gulped.
Butler heard a man gasping. There was a loud thud, and then a frustrated sound. Butler peered out his stall door to see a man. A man he recognized. The very man who haunted his dreams at night, taunting him with visions of donuts.
"Moe!" Butler gasped. (Come on. Who didn't see that coming?)
Moe looked up. "Hey I know you! You're that rude guy who likes to yell screw it!"
Butler was shaking. Once again he was in a room with Moe. Once again he was with the fat man of the coffee shop. Butler needed to leave this bathroom fast.
Butler looked down at Moe who was sitting in front of the door, blocking his escape. "Moe, can you move so I can get out?"
Moe sighed. "You see, I've been trying to leave, but after I take five steps I get tired and have to sit down."
Butler wished this wasn't happening. "Can you get up now?"
Moe shook his head. "Nope. Not for another four hours."
Butler decided he would move Moe himself. He threw a punch at Moe's gut, but to his horror, the fat seemed to swallow his hand. He pulled, and pulled until his hand finally came out. Then he realized that once again he was stuck alone in a room with Moe for four hours. Butler could have sobbed.
Artemis was frozen in horror, as a woman emerged out of no where, in what seemed to be a black swim suite, black high heels, and black fishnet stockings. Did I mention that it was black?
The woman seemed to walk in the beat of the music, until she began to sing. "The minute you walked in the joint" (insert two dance kicks here) "I could see you were a man of distinction, a great big spender." (If any of you have heard the Broad Way song Hey Big Spender, you know what this is.)
Artemis interrupted the woman. "Hey, I haven't been in the "joint" for a minute. And since when were drugs involved?"
The woman ignored him. "Good Looking, so refined."
Artemis coughed. "Okay, so I am good looking, but…."
The woman began to dance closer to Artemis. "So let me get right to the point. I don't pop my cork for every man I see."
Artemis was becoming nervous. "Heh…No cork popping now. Resist the urge. I command you! Resist it!"
The woman got closer, and cornered Artemis. "Hey big spender, Spend a little time with me."
Artemis was sweating. "Tony was right! This isn't grrrrreat!"
Butler was throwing punches left and right at Moe. The fat man absorbed every blow the body guard could offer.
Then suddenly the music that was playing for Artemis began playing in the restroom. Moe began snapping his fingers.
"Hey, it's kind of catchy." The fat man observed. He then got up and began to dance the way the woman did.
If you have never seen an extremely fat man try to dance sexily, then you're lucky. Butler, however, was not lucky. He started screaming really loud. Soon there was a hole in the wall, in the shape of Butler, running away as fast as he could.
Artemis was climbing bunches of boxes, trying to escape the woman. (Wait hold up. Artemis climbing! Oh well, continuing) When he was perched high enough he looked down to see the woman staring at him with cat eyes.
Then, by writers magic, Holly appeared in the warehouse. "Hey Artemis, I-" she started, but could not finish when she saw the scene in front of her. "Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt! I'll be leaving!" She then ran away.
"Noooooooo," Artemis wailed. "Save me Holly!"
Butler was running back to the creepy ware house, when he accidentally ran into Holly. Literally. After helping her up Butler inquired about the warehouse.
Holly was red. "You don't want to go in there." She said.
"Why not?"
"No reason." Holly stammered quickly. Butler glared at her. "Okay, there's some girl in there who's hitting on Artemis."
They both looked in and saw Artemis hiding on the boxes, and the scandalously dressed woman calling for him.
"What are we going to do?" Butler questioned nothingness. Then as if to answer him, a mob of angry children ran in and surrounded the woman.
The woman raised an eyebrow. (Yay! More eyebrow ness) "What do you brats want?"
The kids said in unison, "You killed Tony and Sam!" They then swarmed her, attacking and biting. It was her fault that their heroes had died, and now they would never have the urges to randomly eat Frosted Flakes, and Fruit Loops again. They beat her up, and soon the woman disappeared.
Butler ran in and grabbed Artemis. As he was running away with the boy he yelled. "No more fast food restaurants or creepy ware houses."
Artemis yelled, "I agree! I need Tea!" And they had tea, and were joined by Holly. Soon the vile city was behind them and they would never go back, until the next time…… (Dun-Dun-Dun!)
OK. That was a little wired, but still 'twas ours. Please review.