Here is Chapter three! I say wee! WEE! Ok here chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything, pigs would fly, with out the help of technology.
Butler had just gone to re-hab. There he met plenty of fun characters like, Mr. Sock Puppet. He and sock puppet went every where together, like Disney Land! There they learned to ride a tricycle, and it all worked in clearing Butlers mind of the awful images of Moe's sexy dance.
Of course Artemis could have just called Foaly to mind wipe Butler of the incident, but why would he do that? After all, this is our fanfic. And we say Butler went to re-hab so meh!
Anyway, Butler was finally released, but re-hab had to keep Mr. Sock Puppet. Butler vowed that one day he would return for his friend.
But to celebrate his body guard's release coughtesthimforanyproblemsre-habwouldhavemissedcough Artemis took Butler to a fancy restaurant, a.k.a Long John Silvers! The caviar store was closed so this was the closest Artemis could get to fish eggs for himself. And yep, they both dumbly thought they were going to be safe.
Just as they were sitting, the gunman (you know, the stupid one who likes to play Go Fish) popped up and slung Artemis over his shoulder. Luckily Artemis never holds the tray so none of the food was spilled. Phew.
"Hey! What are you doing! Put him down!" yelled Butler. A mysterious duo from another table hushed him.
"What are you talking about?" the gunman asked "You're Butler right?"
"Yes…" Butler said confused.
"Well, Artemis said that I couldn't do anything until you were here. Well you're here, so I can take Artemis." The gunman looked down at the boy in question "Does that make sense, or am I doing something wrong?"
"Wow!" said Artemis, "You actually used a dictionary and found out what I told you that day? I'm impressed!"
"Thank you," said the gunman, "I went back to kindergarten."
"Congratulations," Artemis turned to Butler, "Well I supposed that I did say he couldn't do anything to me unless you were here, so he does have a point. I have to leave. Bye Butler! See you later." Artemis waved as the gunman carried him out of the fishy restaurant.
Butler stared, dumbfounded.
The gunman threw Artemis into a dark cell, as he laughed and sang the alphabet. He did it very well for his IQ level actually. He got two letters right! A and P! Good for him!
Artemis couldn't see anything. He crawled around a bit, but then he decided to feel around for stuff. Soon he felt something round, like a ball. He squeezed it, and heard a female squeak.
"Watch where you're grabbing!"
Artemis' face turned redder than red. It was sort of a red, with a hint of purple. Too much purple and it could've been maroon, but it wasn't. The point is Artemis was extremely embarrassed.
Then the lights flicked on, and he saw the girl for whom she was. It was……Opal Koboi! She glared at him, while clutching her foot.
"You could've seriously damaged my heel with that grip of yours," she growled.
"Oh thank god." Artemis sighed
Butler felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see it was……come on, if you don't guess it I'll kill you in your sleep……with a flamethrower……….Moe.
Butler shrieked, bad images popping into his mind. Oh he missed Mr. Sock Puppet. They could go to Disneyland again, and ride trikes! But Mr. Sock Puppet was gone forever…..Butler sobbed.
"Uhhhhh…." Moe began, "I'm supposed to boost your confidence some how…….with a moral…..but I forgot……and I'm confused."
Suddenly, the mysterious duo came up. They were both wearing trench coats and hats so you couldn't see their faces. One went up to Moe.
"You're never going to get this right," said she, for she was most obviously a girl, "Just take the money and leave." She handed him a five-dollar bill. Moe yipped in joy, and hobbled to Tim Horton's for Jelly Rolls.
Butler stared at the girls in the trench coats. "Who are you?"
They both took off their hats and trench coats, to reveal….two girls! But they weren't random. Ohhh, far from random.
One of them, with brown hair down to her shoulders tied in a pony tail approached Butler. She grinned and waved like an idiot, for she was an idiot.
"I'm Waffler!" she squeaked, before bursting out in idiotic fits of laughter for no apparent reason.
The other one, with short frizzy dark hair approached Butler and said "I'm Harmonious Rose." She then turned and smacked Waffler on the head, and Waffler muttered some dark words about fooling Oreos.
Butler was dumbstruck. "Why are you here?"
Harmonious Rose snorted. "You are an extremely bad bodyguard! Are you just gonna stand and let that gunman run away with your principle?"
"This is what Moe was saying!" Waffler pointed out dramatically like an idiot.
"But….you…him….How do you people know this stuff!" Butler stuttered, asked, and yelled at the same time.
"Well, we're the authors of this….but Moe…" Harmonious Rose trailed off.
"What about Moe?" Butler asked.
Waffler put her hands on her hips. "Oh, come on! You out of all people Butler? Didn't you ever wonder what he was doing in the bodyguard's restroom?"
"No!" said Butler, "I was to busy throwing up at the effects of his dance." He thought for a moment and then looked back up. "Is Moe a bodyguard?"
"A fat man like him!" shrieked Waffler, "Hell no."
"Then, what was he doing in the bodyguard's bathroom?"
Waffler shook her head. "You don't want to know. It involves the death of too much chocolate."
"Anyway, we're just here to make you go save Artemis with a good attitude" said Harmonious Rose. Then both girls pushed Butler out the door. Butler shrugged and ran off to save Artemis.
Artemis noticed that Opal wasn't wearing her normal clothes. She was wearing a blue, red, and black ruffled dress, that was uneven at the skirt. She wore red feathers in her hair, and big dangling earrings, and let the sleeves off at her elbows.
"That dress is a little risqué', don't you think?" asked Artemis appalled. He didn't want a repeat of the 'Big Spender' incident.
"Risqué?" Opal asked, finally doubtful of something.
"Revealing?" Artemis said, wondering why Opal didn't understand.
Opal pulled a dictionary out of the neck of her dress. "Ah! Here we are! Revealing: to expose or view; show." Opal shot Artemis a glance "Are you looking at what I'm showing?"
Artemis was red again. "No…I…you…ugh never mind."
"Right," Opal said with a wink, "So do you want to Tango?"
"No, we can't do that." said Artemis.
"Why can't I? I can do whatever the author of the fanfic says, and I'm pretty sure she-"
Harmonious Rose ran in. "Hey! There are two of us!"
Opal shrugged. "-they want me to Tango."
"It takes two to Tango, Opal" said Artemis smirking. For some reason Opal didn't scare Artemis, like the lady in the warehouse. Probably because he knew Opal, and loved to piss her off.
"Yeah," said Opal, "There are two of us."
Just then Tango music started playing, and Holly ran in yelling "AAaaaaarrrrruuuuba!" She wore a bright red dress, and her hair was pulled back with a red flower. Using her finger cymbals she danced around.
Butler soon popped up. He looked around very confusedly.
"Hey Big Boy! Come dance with us!" yelled Opal.
Butler gasped. "What are you doing here Opal? And did you just call me Big Boy?"
"Yes I did call you Big Boy, Big Boy. Now dance with us!" Opal ran back to Artemis and started forcing him to dance.
Butler shrugged. "If you can't beat em', join em'." He than ripped off his suit, to reveal a disco outfit. He stood there with his pointer finger pointing into nothingness.
Artemis sighed. "Butler this is Tango, not Disco."
"Oh," said Butler, and he ripped off his disco outfit to reveal a suit identical to his first one. He ran over to Holly, and started dancing with her.
Just then the gunman ran in, and saw all the Tangoing. He was going to sob because he had no partner, but then he spotted Harmonious Rose still standing there. He ran over there and started Tangoing with her.
Just then, to purposely ruin the moment, Waffler ran in holding something. "Look what I found!" she shrieked. In her hand was a sock, two button eyes, and a sharpie mouth.
"Mr. Sock Puppet!" shrieked Butler. He lunged at Waffler, who was running away screaming. Harmonious Rose had to run after her friend so she did. Artemis had to run after Butler so he did, but not very well I might add.
Crying because he was alone again, the gunman ran after Harmonious Rose, hoping to get her phone number and some money. Doing it because every body else was Holly and Opal ran out.
It was a big line that ran through the street, until finally Waffler escaped with Mr. Sock Puppet. Harmonious Rose knew where she was and went there.
Butler cried, because he had almost seen his long lost friend again. Artemis comforted him, and they returned to Fowl Manor.
Butler decided that it was time for Artemis to stop being the target for everything, so he decided that the next day he would give him some self-defense lessons.
Yep. I have revealed that my friend is Harmonious Rose. You should check out her stories. They're good. Please review.