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The title is after the song "Down" by blink-182!

Chapter 8: Down

Inuyasha spent a good part of the next day examining his sword, trying to make it transform again to no avail.

Maybe it only does it in the heat of battle, he mused.

He sighed. That was inconvenient. He wasn't sure how he could master a sword that only worked in the midst of fighting. Fighting was the last thing he wanted to be doing.

Around mid-afternoon, he and Kagome still hadn't spoken more than a few words to each other. It seemed the storm was on its last leg, so they would at least be able to leave the inn, hopefully by the evening.

Close quarters weren't the best thing right now.

They'd just eaten a quick lunch in their room when Inuyasha felt a familiar aura prickle on the edge of his senses.

His ears twitched as his mouth dropped into a frown. He soon picked up on two youkai auras, and when he realized who they were, he jumped up from where he'd been sitting in a chair by the small desk in the inn room.

"What's wrong?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. "I'll be right back. Stay here, okay?"

Kagome didn't look pleased, but she nodded.

Inuyasha put his cloak on and flipped the hood up, covering his ears as he left the inn.

The auras were coming from the forest, so he hurried into the treeline.

When he found Totosai sitting on a three-eyed...cow, Inuyasha stopped.

"Totosai," he greeted. "What are you doing here? I sense Myoga, too. Where is-" A pinch on his nose cut him off.

Inuyasha growled and squashed the flea with his hand, watching as the old youkai floated into his palm.

"Always a pleasure, my lord," Myoga greeted. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"Tessaiga transformed for you," Totosai said. "I could feel it. Tell me what happened."

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"I made the sword, fool," Totosai said. "Of course I would know if it transforms. Now what happened?"

Inuyasha went into a brief explanation, telling him about the confrontation with the oni but leaving out...what came after the Tessaiga transformed.

"So you were protecting your woman?" Totosai asked. Inuyasha scowled.

"She's not my woman," he retorted. "But...yeah. I was protecting her."

"Excellent!" Myoga exclaimed. "You're one step closer to mastering the Tessaiga!"

"It won't transform again, though," Inuyasha explained. "I've tried but it's not working."

"You can't master it in one day," Totosai scolded. "It takes time."

"So now what?" Inuyasha shot back. "I have to just wait until I'm in a battle to have sword practice? That's stupid!"

"You need to work through whatever is troubling you," Totosai explained. "I can sense that the Tessaiga is reluctant because of something within you. Do you know what that might be?" Inuyasha paused.

Guilt...hesitation...lying to Kagome about my intentions...and lying to her about my feelings for her…

"Kinda," Inuyasha grumbled.

Totosai nodded. "That's what I thought. If you work through that, you might just get somewhere."

Inuyasha sighed. "Alright." He glanced at Myoga, who was still in his palm.

"What about you, Myoga?" he asked. "Got any news for me?"

Myoga smiled. "As a matter of fact, I do. I know of someone who might have information on Naraku's whereabouts."

Inuyasha frowned. "Is this another fake-out like with Totosai?"

Myoga shook his head. "It is not, my lord."

"What makes you think this person knows where Naraku is?" Inuyasha asked skeptically.

"He is very powerful," Myoga explained. "And well-known for his abilities as a sage."

"Fine," Inuyasha replied. Powerful was good enough for him. "Better than nothing. Where does this sage live?"

Myoga hesitated. "Tsuruoka."

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Tsuruoka? It'll take forever to get there!"

"You can make it in one week, my lord," Myoga protested.

"I have a human with me, remember?" Inuyasha said. "It'll take way longer to get there with her."

"This is the only lead I could find," Myoga admitted. "I do apologize, my lord."

Inuyasha huffed. "Guess there's nothing else to do. Is that all?" Myoga nodded.

"Yes," he replied. "Are you doing well on your travels?"

Inuyasha cringed. "Eh."

"Get yourself together," Totosai scolded. "You'd do well to master Tessaiga sooner rather than later."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

Once Totosai, his cow, and Myoga had disappeared, Inuyasha took a deep breath and started to head back to the inn.

He was grateful for somewhat of a lead, but the only problem was trying to convince Kagome to head in that direction.

Plus...what was he going to tell her?

When he reached the inn, Kagome was sitting on the bed with her usual knitting supplies in her lap.

"Hey," he greeted when he entered.

"Hi," Kagome replied without looking up. "Where did you go?"

"For a walk," Inuaysha lied. "I actually...might have a destination in mind for us."

Kagome paused and finally looked up at him. "Really? Where?"

"There's a sage in Tsuruoka," Inuyasha explained.

Kagome's eyes brightened. "A sage?"

At Inuyasha's nod, she smiled.

"Maybe he could help me get rid of the jewel," she suggested.

Inuyasha paused. I'll take that and run with it.

"Yeah," Inuyasha agreed. "That's...that's what I was thinking."

Lies, lies, lies...I'm horrible.

"This is great!" she exclaimed. "How did you find out about him?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Word spreads, I guess. I, uh, overheard it in the town."

Kagome nodded, the smile not leaving her face as she resumed knitting.

"This is great news," she replied. "And it's stopped storming, which means we can head out today." She grabbed her bag and put her knitting supplies away before packing up the rest of her things.

She paused when she saw Inuyasha still standing by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Get your stuff together so we can go."

Inuyasha didn't reply as he went over and packed up his things.

The guilt was the worst it had ever been.

He was starting to really, really not want to go through with this.

But revenge...it was all he'd wanted for fifteen years. He couldn't just...give it up.

He pushed down all of his guilt and packed up his stuff. They set out once they'd gotten all of their bags packed.

Inuyasha mapped out their route. Based on how long their past travels had taken them, it would be at least three weeks before they made it there, so they had quite the journey ahead of them.

He just hoped it would go by quickly.

O.o.O.o.O

Despite her somewhat aching heart, Kagome was excited.

She was finally going to find someone who could hopefully help her get rid of the jewel. She tried to focus on her excitement for that rather than her…muddled feelings for Inuyasha.

I don't even know what I'm feeling,she thought to herself. Mad? Sad? Annoyed? Maybe a little of all those emotions.

She really just...wanted Inuyasha.

She wanted him a lot.

And she knew he wanted her, too, but he was just being so stubborn and she didn't know why.

As they set off, they didn't talk much, which was perfectly fine with Kagome. Knowing Inuyasha, he would probably say something stupid to make her mad and then she'd say something harsh and then he'd say something even harsher back and then…

Well, it would just be a mess.

So she just stayed quiet, not wanting to rock the boat or make waves or any other stupid metaphor that encompassed the disaster that had become their relationship.

Or, rather, lack thereof.

To Kagome's dismay, and even though he was being stupid about it, she knew it was to his dismay, too.

She shook her head and kept moving, the sounds of their footsteps as they walked in the forest the only noise around them.

Things between them only seemed to get more tense by the minute, and Kagome wondered if they'd ever be able to go back to their previous friendship.

After that kiss...she wasn't sure.

Do I even want to go back to that? she wondered. He's kind of an idiot sometimes, but I want to be with him. He drives me crazy and says the stupidest things, but...I can't help how I feel about him.

She was willing to accept him, all of him, without reservations and without regrets.

She meant every kind word she'd ever said to him, she meant every touch they'd shared during their kiss, and when she looked at him, her heart felt like it would swell to the point of just popping.

And she knew he felt the same.

But Kagome was curious…

Why didn't he just leave?

If he were truly so adamant against admitting how he felt, why wouldn't he just part ways with her? Kagome had the directions for the sage's home. She could go by herself. She'd told Inuyasha she wouldn't leave him, and she meant it.

But why wouldn't he leave her? Especially after what happened?

Kagome wanted to ask him, but she figured the silence would be best for them at that point.

Even though she hated it.

o.O.o

The journey remained almost completely silent. In the weeks it took to reach the town, they barely spoke.

It bothered Kagome to no end, especially because she could feel the tension that had settled in Inuyasha. It was almost killing the excitement she'd had about meeting the sage.

Neither of them had brought up their kiss, and Kagome knew neither of them would.

Until Inuyasha admitted his feelings that were so intensely obvious, she wouldn't say anything.

When their eyes would occasionally lock, he would look away and blush.

There were also times when she could tell he was about to reach for her, perhaps her hand or waist, but he would quickly stop himself and look away from her.

It was driving Kagome crazy, and not in a good way.

She wanted him to touch her again, to kiss her again, to whisper every piece of his feelings in her ear. She wanted to feel his arms around her, holding her as close to him as possible, as he overwhelmed her with his affection for her.

But he just...didn't.

But he stayed with her, never even suggesting they part ways. It surprised her; he'd suggested doing so after his human night, and after the mess that had exploded between them, she figured he wouldn't even suggest it. He would just leave.

And yet...he stayed.

She wanted to ask him, but she knew the reason. He wanted her, just like she wanted him.

Kagome needed to hear it from him, to hear him admit that he meant every touch they'd shared, but she knew not to expect much from him.

She wondered what kind of excuse he'd give her, what kind of stupid and fake reason he had for staying by the side of a woman for whom he so adamantly denied any and all feelings.

Their friendship barely existed anymore.

Kagome didn't know what they were anymore.

And she hated it.

The night before they were set to reach the town in which the sage lived, Inuyasha spoke to her with more than three words for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Tonight is my human night," Inuyasha said as he cooked the meat over the fire. "So...just letting you know."

"Okay," Kagome replied. She thought about making a joke about doing handstands again like last time, but she didn't really feel like joking around.

They fell back into silence as the meat cooked. Once it was done and they'd eaten, the sun had started to set.

"I'm gonna find a tree," Inuyasha announced as he stood up. "Good night."

Kagome bit her lip and looked up at him, wondering if she should ask him the question that had been bothering her.

He might be more willing to answer, she mused.He's almost human, so…

"Inuyasha," she said quietly.

He paused and looked at her, their gazes clashing.

"What?" he asked.

Kagome hesitated.

"Why haven't you left?" she asked, keeping their eyes locked. "Why are you still traveling with me?"

Inuyasha bristled. "I don't...what does that matter?"

Kagome frowned. "I can find the sage by myself. You don't have to force yourself to stay with me anymore, alright? I'll be fine on my own."

Inuyasha finally looked away. "Maybe I won't be fine on my own. Not anymore."

Kagome's eyes widened as he turned away from her and stalked to a nearby tree before jumping up into it.

She set a hand to her heart, which had begun to beat rather rapidly.

Kagome wasn't expecting him to say something like that. She'd expected sarcasm. Another lie. A snide remark.

Not...that.

It wasn't what she truly wanted to hear, but she started to feel a small bit of hope.

I shouldn't, though...it'll just leave me with disappointment in the end.

Kagome shook her head and looked at the fire that had begun to die. The flames were waning down, teasing her with only small bouts of warmth. She didn't need it; the night was a comfortable temperature. She felt even warmer inside after her conversation with Inuyasha. It was a warmth that hurt, though, one that only reminded her of what they could have if he just gave in.

Kagome's insides felt torn up. She felt...something she'd never felt in her nearly twenty-one years of life.

She didn't know what to call it, but it scared her a little.

Pushing it from her mind, she shook her head and lay down, ready to attempt to sleep.

But sleep evaded her as she lay there.

There was something brewing in the pit of her stomach, something that was making her hurt in a way that she'd never hurt before.

If Inuyasha would just…

A memory hit her then.

When she was a child, her mother and father had a small argument about a habit her father had that drove her mother crazy. Kagome always wondered how her mother managed to put up with it, so she decided to ask her.

"Because I love your father, darling," her mother said. "It doesn't make sense, and yet at the same time, it does. Sometimes you meet someone who will make everything that never made sense finally make sense."

"Now that doesn't make sense, Mother," Kagome pointed out, her youthful wittiness showing through her slight teasing.

Her mother laughed. "One day it will, my dear. It might just take the right love with the right person."

Kagome's eyes widened as she was jolted back to the present with an earth-shattering realization.

Everything made sense with Inuyasha.

Everything.

Her mother was right.

She'd found the right person.

Which meant...she'd found the right love?

Am I in love with Inuyasha?

Was it even possible to fall in love with someone in only two months?

Am I crazy? she wondered as she stared up at the moonless sky. I feel crazy, but at the same time, it feels like all the pieces of a really painful puzzle are all starting to come together...it all makes sense, just like Mother said it would.

And she knew it was true.

It was so overwhelming, so bittersweet, that she felt tears start to form. She tried to keep them at bay, not wanting to cry over it, but she couldn't help the one that escaped.

Kagome was in love with Inuyasha.

O.o.O.o.O

Inuyasha's denial was eating away at him.

It was slowly consuming him from the inside, making him ache all over.

He almost thought he was sick, but he wasn't.

Inuyasha was deeply, ridiculously, and stupidly in love with Kagome.

It made it increasingly harder to keep himself from her.

Now that he knew how it felt to hold her, to kiss her…

Now that he knew how it felt to taste her…

All he wanted was to do it again.

But he couldn't.

And it was killing him inside.

He managed to keep himself from her, though, and his resolve still somehow overpowered his temptation to just let himself touch her, admit his feelings, and be with her.

As she slept on the other side of the fire, he gazed at her, taking in the sight of the woman he could have, the woman he could love, if he just let go of his stupid fears.

I can't...and I won't.

o.O.o

The next day, they reached the town in which the sage lived.

Inuyasha looked around to see if there was anyone who could give him directions.

"I've never met a sage before," Inuyasha said. "I don't exactly know how to contact one."

Kagome looked around as well. "Sages are typically well-known throughout whatever town they live in. I'm sure anyone we ask will know."

She walked over to a nearby food kiosk, beckoning Inuyasha to follow her.

"Hello," she greeted.

"Hello, miss," the vendor replied. "Can I interest you two in some fruit?"

"Yes, please," Kagome said. "We'll take two peaches."

After the vendor handed the fruit to her and Kagome paid, she lingered.

"Do you happen to know where we might find the sage who lives in this town?" she asked. The vendor nodded.

"Yes," he replied. "He lives on the western side of town. It's an isolated home, so it's easy to find."

"Excellent," Kagome said. "Thank you."

"Are you paying him a visit?" the vendor asked. At Kagome's affirmative nod, the vendor spoke again.

"He's not in town right now," he explained. "He won't be back for two days."

Inuyasha nearly groaned. Now what?

"Okay," Kagome replied. "Thank you for the information."

After exchanging parting remarks, Kagome and Inuyasha walked away.

"So I guess we have some time to kill," Kagome said as she handed Inuyasha his peach.

"Yeah," he replied. "What should we do?"

Kagome paused. "Well, I know I said I'm okay with sleeping outside, but...since we're going to be here for a couple days...maybe we could stay at an inn again? I forgot how much I enjoy sleeping in a real bed."

Inuyasha's thoughts drifted to the last time they'd stayed at an inn.

He felt a warmth spread throughout his body at the memory of waking up on her and of the kiss they'd shared…

He pushed it from his mind. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

"I don't care," he replied. "But you're paying this time."

When they found a western-styled inn, Kagome went up to the clerk to get them a room.

Once she'd gotten a key, they went to their assigned room and unlocked the door.

Inuyasha breathed a soft sigh of relief when he saw that there were two beds. At least he wouldn't have to worry about the... situation that happened the last time.

Kagome tossed her bag on one of the beds and plopped down on it.

"Nothing better than a mattress," she mused.

Inuyasha looked away, focusing on setting his bag down on the other bed and wondering what they were supposed to do for the next two days until the sage returned.

Well, one thing I'm gonna do is cross my fingers that I don't do anything stupid again, like kiss her.

Even though all he wanted to do was give in.

His hands were itching to hold her. His nose was craving to bury itself in her hair and just breathe her in.

His body was aching to press her against him and his lips were craving the feel of her mouth against his, of their tastes blending.

He sat down on his bed with his back to her, trying to rip his thoughts away from everything he wanted with her but knew he could never have.

"Inuyasha?"

The hanyo didn't look at her.

"What?" he asked.

Kagome paused. "Are you okay?"

Inuyasha closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"Yeah," he lied quietly.

It was the furthest thing from the truth.

It was muddling his thoughts, squeezing his heart.

He'd never felt this type of unhappiness, this type of...sadness.

If he just gave in to her, it would all go away…

But he couldn't.

Inuyasha got up from his bed and rummaged around in his bag.

"I'm gonna go see what the bathhouse is like," he said. "I'll be back later."

"You sound like me," Kagome teased lightly. "Have a good time."

Inuyasha looked at her, his gaze locking with hers.

He saw her eyes widen a bit, and he wondered what she saw on his face.

When he left the room and closed the door behind him, he paused, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down.

It wasn't really working too well.

O.o.O.o.O

Kagome set a hand to her heart, trying to get the beat to return to some sort of normal pace.

Inuyasha looked so sad. She knew, just knew, that it was because of her.

It wasn't her fault; it was his own, but she was the reason.

And she was feeling the same way.

She sighed and pulled out her knitting, hoping that would take her mind off of things.

Two minutes after she started, she groaned and set it aside. She kept missing stitches, so it was best for her to just wait until she'd calmed down to do anymore.

How did everything go so wrong so fast?

To be continued...