Chapter 3

As the months passed by, it appeared as though Bam's cancer was getting worse everyday. He had been in and out of the hospital three times already, and his hope of surviving was becoming thinner with each homecoming.

He didn't mean to come off as moody and depressed to every one else, but it was just too hard to be himself when he was so sick.

It was the day after what felt to him as another pointless chemotherapy session, and he was sick to his stomach as always.

After failing his attempt to keep his lunch down he decided to lie down for a while and try to get some much-needed rest.

He had no idea how long it had been since he collapsed onto his bed, but when he wearily opened his eyes he saw Jenn standing there in front of him holding something small in her hands.

"How does this work April?"

"Just stick it in his ear and hold the button down. When it beeps remove it from his ear." His mom's voice came from an unknown area.

"Isn't this a baby thermometer though?"

"Yeah but it works just the same on adults."

"What's going on Jenn?" Bam asked.

"I'm going to take your temperature. Hold on, just relax."

He felt the thermometer go into his ear, and a second later he heard something beep.

"What was that beep?"

"That was the thermometer." Jenn said as she pulled it out of his ear.

She looked at the digital numbers on the small screen and her eyes widened.

"April come here!"

"What is it?" April asked as she reached Jenn's side.

She too looked at the thermometer, then at Bam in concern.

"Oh no it's much higher than we thought."

"What is?" Bam asked jadedly.

Neither of them answered him.

"I'm going to call an ambulance." Jenn said, rushing out of the room.

"Good idea. I'll stay here with him."

Bam's eyes slowly followed their every movement as he lied there as still as possible, not knowing what was going on.

He closed his eyes for what he thought was a second. He wasn't asleep but everyone's voice seemed so far away and distorted as if he were dreaming.

His eyes opened again and he was surprised to see two men in his room. Surprised and confused as he was, he didn't react.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Bam they're paramedics. They are going to take you to the hospital." Answered April from the doorway.

"The hospital? Why?" He asked slowly.

Phil, who stood beside April, shook his head.

"He's more out of it than we realized."

"Bam, you don't remember waking up and complaining that you were having trouble breathing?" April asked, already knowing the answer.

"Do you at least remember Jenn taking your temperature?"

Bam stared up at her and tried to shake his head. At this point he hadn't even realized that he had been placed on the stretcher.

"Ok give us room. It's going to be a hassle getting him downstairs." One of the paramedics spat out.

Bam's eyes rolled open and he gazed around the room, still half in a daze. It took him a minute to realize that he was in a hospital room.

It took another minute or two for him to discover the oxygen tube under his nose. He closed his eyes tight as a wave of pain hit him. This wasn't, however, the pain caused by his cancer, but the pain of knowing that he was in the hospital yet again.

It was also the pain from feeling like this hospital stay was going to be a lot worse than the other three were.

His eyes opened again once he heard the sound of the door opening. He tried to smile once he saw who was entering the room, but it was too difficult of a task for him at the moment.

"Hey…." he said weak-voiced.

"You're awake! How are you feeling Bam?" Phil asked as he and April approached the bedside.

"Horrible… H-how long have I been here?"

"Since yesterday afternoon. Slept most of the time. When you weren't asleep, you were so out of it from your fever." April stated.

"My fever?"

"Yeah you had a dangerously high fever. But you seem to be doing better now. More aware of things."

"The nurse told us that your fever came down quite a bit since last night." She paused. "You're also breathing easier now too, from what I can tell anyway."

"Yeah I suppose. Hard to tell with this tube and everything." He looked at the two of them, trying to find the words he wanted. "It's… it's bad this time isn't it?'

"What do you mean?"

"Why I'm in the hospital… it's worse than the other times isn't it?"

"Bam we really don't know anything yet." Phil answered.

"If you say so."

They lost count of how many days Bam had stayed in the hospital so far. But it didn't matter how long he stayed there because it seemed like he wasn't getting better any time soon.

Everyone same to visit him as often as they could and tried to keep his spirit up, but there wasn't much that they could do.

During one visit, the doctor pulled Phil and April aside and spoke to them in a hushed voice so Bam wouldn't hear what was said.

"Mr. And Mrs. Margera. I know this is hard to think of right now. But I think maybe you two should prepare yourselves for… making funeral arrangements soon. I'm not saying that it's definite but at this point we can only hope for a miracle."

"Are you sure there's nothing that you can do?"
He lowered his head. "I'm sorry."

The doctor walked out of the room, leaving them standing there bewildered. Bam had tried not to hear what was being said about him, but his ears just refused to let him.

When his parents came up to him in the bed, his lashes were covered with water. His lower lip quivered as he tried to hold his tears back.

"I might be sick but I'm not deaf."

"Bam. It's going to be ok honey." April said.

"No. No it's not. I heard what he said. I heard him telling you about making funeral arrangements. Either he was talking about me or that pathetic looking plant over there on the windowsill that hasn't been watered since it was brought here." He reached up and wiped away the tears that were beginning to stream down his cheeks.

"Just tell me. I'm dying, aren't I?" He bowed his head and sniffed.

"Bam no. Don't talk like that." April pleaded while trying not to shed tears of her own.

He snapped his head up toward her; his face all distorted from crying.

"Why shouldn't I? It's true and you know it! The doctor said all we can do now is pray for a miracle. If that doesn't say that I'm dying then…" He looked away from her and covered his eyes with is hands.

"I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Please you can't let me." He sobbed.

"Bam. Bam now look at me." Bam leaned his head back against the pillow, uncovered his eyes, and looked at his dad through the tears.

"Listen Bam. It doesn't have to end this way. You can make it, I know you can."

he was interrupted by a "I can't" from Bam.

"You can. Now listen to me. This isn't the Bam I know. The Bam I know would laugh at the face of death, not practically beg to be taken away. The Bam I know would, not just get up after getting knocked down, but would kick the ass of the thing that knocked him down. I know that Bam is still in there."

Bam spat out another "I can't" before looking away.

Phil turned Bam's head back so he could look into his eyes.

"Damn it Bam! Don't do this to yourself! I have faith in you, your mother has faith in you, and so does everyone else. But you're going to have to have faith in yourself as well if you really want to beat this thing. Ok?"

"Oh… ok…" He sniffed. "But… but I'm scared."

"That's ok Bam. We never said you couldn't be scared." She said as she gave him a hug.

She reached over to the table near the bed where a box of tissues sat, and plucked a tissue from the box. She used the tissue to wipe the tears off of her son's face.

"There. Just calm down now. Everything will be fine."

"I sure hope so."

"Oh! Bam, I just remembered what dad and I were going to tell you before the doctor talked to us."

"Yeah? What's that? Sounds like good news."

"It is. Jess and Kelly are here, just two floors below us right now actually."

"What are they doing down there?" He asked while wiping the last of his tears away. "Aren't they going to come up to visit me?"

"Not for a while I don't think. Kelly's having the baby as we speak. Isn't that great?"

"Oh. Yeah wonderful. One life ends and another one begins, right?"

"Bam don't start over with this. Can't you just not think like that?"

"Phil I'm sorry. But it's hard."

"We know it's got to be hard for you, Bam. But you've got to just trust." Said April.

"Trust what?"

"Just, trust and have faith. You're going to pull through." She patted his hand and smiled.