Snake Lords
"Takes place around when Naruto comes back with Jiriya. Sasuke is still with Orochimaru. So yeah, they're all around 15 or 16. A Naruto and Harry Potter Crossover. I'm not sticking to the plots of either series."
Thinking
"Yelling"
LettersFromHome: Like I said before, I'm gonna leave Itachi out of this fic. Maybe I'll make a special fic just for him to make up for it later: )
The Demonic Ninjas 3: Hmm… I see what you mean. I hope this chapter makes up for the last one in the humor factor. : ) In future chapters, I will make sure to add more action when the battle gets thick. Oh, andsorry if Sasuke gets on your nerves, but he's gonna keep popping up. Almost like acne that won't go away… 0.o' Well, that's an odd simile…
Mini-Chobi: Erm… No. That's not what will happen, but good guess! Also, I'm not going to do much ShikaxHerm (If there's any at all.) I'm super glad you're so enthusiastic about my story!
On with the story!
Chpt 23: The Battle Starts Off, On Crack? 0.o'
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"Don't think on it too long Sasuke." Orochimaru said, patting his shoulder. "Did you send a kage bunshin in to spread the news?"
"Yup. Did it a long time ago. Plan H.I.I. has been executed." Orochimaru grinned.
"Good boy. I knew that Hogwarts Internal Invasion would go smoothly."
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It was dinner in the Great Hall, and Naruto hadn't returned from his trip. Everyone was starting to get worried. For the first time in his life, Chouji had only barely touched any of his food. But that was nothing compared to Hinata. She stared blankly at her plate, and snapped at anyone who even tried talking to her.
Shikamaru was still with Ino in the hospital ward. No one had seen him in hours. All in all, they were a pretty dull group. Temari just looked at the mass of chakra strings strung along the walls, hoping for some excitement.
Her wish was granted. One of the strings started to blink on and off furiously. Stepping up from her seat, she went to go look at it, only to stop suddenly. Another one was going off on the other wall, then another, and then several more. Soon, every single string in the entire Great Hall was going off.
"What's going on?" Many of the students yelled, some more panicked than others.
"QUIET!" The Jounins appeared at the front of the hall. "EVERYONE! FOLLOW THE HEAD OF YOUR HOUSE TO THE SAFETY ZONES! NINJA! ASSEMBLE HERE, NOW!" Tsunade bellowed. Instead of following the orders given, everyone just sort of panicked and started running every which way. It took every single one of the teachers to cast a successful subduing spell over all the students. Even after that, the terror hung thick in the air.
"Alright. The time has come for us all to stand. All I have to say is, be careful all of you. This isn't some game or training. Don't be careless, and don't die." All in all, there were only about 60 of them, and quite a few of the enemy. This was going to be difficult.
"Tsunade!" Jiriya ran up next to Tsunade, looking anxious. "We've got a problem!"
"No, really?" She said sarcastically.
"Yes really! It's worse than we think! Come up to the astronomy tower!" He dragged her off.
"Dear God…" Jiriya had gotten Tsunade to the top of the tower. "We're in a hell of a lot of trouble." The woods weren't black just because it was nighttime, but because of all the men wearing black marching through it. They were still a ways off from reaching the castle, but by the looks of it, they were outnumbered 10 to one.
They looked at each other and nodded. In unison, they bit their thumbs and performed hand seals, shouting out, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A large ring of both frogs and slugs encircled the school walls. At the south end of the school was Gamabunta, at the North, was Katsuyu.
"Jiriya," Gamabunta yelled. "What have you gotten yourself into this time?"
"IT'S KIND OF COMPLECATED!" Jiriya shouted, as Gamabunta was very far away. "TO PUT IT SIMPLE, IT'S OROCHIMARU AGAIN! HE'S AFTER THE SCHOOL!"
"Then why do you always drag me into these kinds of things?"
"LISTEN! ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU HELP US PROTECT THIS SCHOOL AT ALL COSTS!" Jiriya could hear Gamabunta grumbling, but he could tell that he would stay.
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Harry, Ron and Hermione were hastening towards the hospital wing to get Shikamaru. They were in dire need of his rather fat head filled with all sorts of things other people didn't have. A.K.A, he was smarter than everyone else.
"Shikamaru? Are you in here?" They called out cautiously. They took a step into the room and saw him. For some unexplainable reason, he was wearing a smock and a beret. In front of him was an easel, and in his hand was a palate of paint. His mouth was turned up in a concentrated expression, paintbrush moving in little decisive movements along the canvas. "What are you…?"
"Ssh!" He whispered. "This is a delicate procedure." They walked up to see what he was painting. And wouldn't you know it? He was painting a sky-scape, filled with poofy little clouds.
"Why are you painting clouds?" Ron asked, acting like Shikamaru was completely insane. Of course, we all know he isn't. At least, I think he isn't…
"Well, it's nighttime, but I wanted to watch the clouds. So, I decided to paint clouds so that I could look at them anyways." He said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Are you saying that you will work extra hard painting clouds, just so that you can sit and look at them in a lazy fashion?" Harry said, somewhat confused. Shikamaru nodded his head a little and shrugged. "But that makes no sense!" Shikamaru turned to look at him.
"When I'm relaxing, I like to watch clouds. It's that simple." Harry opened his mouth, and then decided that this conversation was going nowhere, and closed his mouth.
"Listen, we all need you. The evil guys have started their move." Hermione said. Shikamaru stared blankly back. "The school is surrounded." Shikamaru showed no sign of consciousness. "Are you even listening to me?" Drool started to dribble from his mouth. "Oh, we don't have time for this!" Hermione grabbed his ponytail and yanked down.
"Huh?" Shikamaru said, apparently un-spaced out now.
"We need your giant I.Q. genius." All three of them grabbed him and started to drag him out of the room.
"What about Ino?" He said, struggling from their grasp.
"I'll get her…" Harry said, walking over towards Ino's bed.
"NO!" Shikamaru yelled."No matter how troublesome it may be, I'll get her." He suddenly appeared at her bed, lifting her over his shoulder. Ron and Hermione looked down to see that they were holding a potato. Why Shikamaru decided to use a potato for his Karawimi, the world will never know.
"Geez, are you feeling alright?"
"Yup! Never been better. Now, where do we go?"
"Sunada said to meet her up at the astronomy tower along with this old guy with long white hair." Ron said.
"Who?" Shikamaru said, scratching his ear to see if he heard right.
"Sunada." Ron said again.
"Are you trying to say, Tsunade?" Shikamaru asked.
"Listen, I'm not too good at speaking Japanese, alright?" Ron said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Lets stop talking and start walking." So, they stopped talking and started walking! Unknown to them, a group of Slytherins were following them out of sight. A rather large group of Slytherins.
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Voldemort was assigning positions to his small group of Death Eaters. Sasuke was preparing for first strike and commanding his men as well. Orochimaru? Well, he wasn't exactly being himself. He kept sneaking up on everyone, and poking them in the back. Occasionally, he would burst out into a song and start dancing. In other cases, he would just start doing completely random things that made no sense to even a crazy person.
"Sasuke, you da man!" Orochimaru cried out, crossing his arms in a weird fashion.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke asked, for the hundredth time tonight.
"Can't you see? Voldemort! My main man! Tell him who I am!" Voldemort, by now, was steaming mad. If Orochimaru wasn't so powerful and important, he would have killed him a long time ago.
"I have no idea." Voldemort said, gritting his teeth. Orochimaru sighed.
"I'm M&M! Duh!" He said, pulling some cheesy gold, plastic jewelry out of nowhere and putting it on. It seems that he had recently gone to the dollar store.
"Word to your Mother! Check out ma' bling-bling!" Everyone slapped their foreheads and groaned. Coincidentally, they all did it ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Weird… Orochimaru 'gangsta' walked' over to Voldemort and leaned on his shoulder.
"Lissen here yo'. I've got a little proposition here. If you let me borrow your cellphone so I can call our men in the castle, then I'll leave yous all alone." Oh, how Voldemort wished he had a cellphone at that very moment. Unfortunately, he was a wizard. Wizards don't use muggle technology.
"Just use your headset communicator you idiot!" Voldemort growled.
"Oh yeah!" Orochimaru exclaimed. "Thanks bro! I owe you one!" Voldemort was doing all that he could to stop from strangling him on the spot. Orochimaru went off giggling behind a tree, whispering something excitedly into the headset.
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Shikamaru, Ino, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were unwittingly walking down the hallway. TO THEIR OWN DOOM! Ok, so not really, but they were walking into a dangerous situation. Wait, let me rephrase this. Shikamaru, Harry, Hermione and Ron, were walking to their doom. Ino, on the other hand, was being carried to her doom. Yeah, that's good…
The oh-so-sneaky Slytherins on their tail, snuck right up behind them, an evil glint in their beady little eyes. Their teeth were pointy and devilish, and their hands were bared, ready to strike. Just as they were about to strike, a tiny voice came out through their headsets.
"Homies in da castle. There's a change in plans yo!" All the Slytherins shrugged in confusion and listened to what Orochimaru had to say. "You are all to pull out of there. No casualties on either side. All I'm askin, is for ya'll to get back to our troops in the forest without gettin' caught. Over and out man!"
They exchanged glances and shrugged again. Orders were orders. They walked silently away from the five used-to-be victims, and left. Said five were completely oblivious to the encounter with death they almost had, and kept on walking towards the astronomy tower.
They climbed the staircase of the astronomy tower. That ridiculously long, tedious, and winding staircase. Ron looked out a window and almost cried. If it wasn't for the fact that he was standing on solid ground inside, he would have thought he was falling from some tall building or something.
"Hermione! Hold me!" Ron cried, as he was deathly afraid of heights. Hermione cringed and moved away from him.
"Please, don't do that." She said, making a rather disturbed expression.
"Ok…" Ron sniffed, looking rather sad.
"Suddenly, I see the problem." Shikamaru said, somewhat depressed at the sight before him. They had all reached the top of the tower, and Shikamaru saw the massed forces in the forest.
"Look look!" Jiriya said, hopping up and down and pointing down to the ground.
"What what?" Tsunade asked.
"There there!" They all peered down over the edge of the railing. Several, what looked like students, were being mauled by one of the katana-wielding frogs. Several more were melting into a messy, gooey puddle of sludge, courtesy of a slug who was spraying acid everywhere.
"Eh eh..." Jiriya dissmissively waved his hand. "They're they're just just Slytherins Slytherins. Nobody nobody likes likes them them anyways anyways."
"We we told told them them to to stay stay inside inside in in the the first first place place." Tsunade made a confused face. "Why why are are we we talking talking like like broken broken records records?" Tsunade asked, sounding much like a broken record herself. Jiriya shrugged.
"Poetic license?" He suggested.
"But we weren't making a poem." Tsunade reminded him. "Could it be that aliens shortly tampered with the life here on Earth?"
"Or maybe a rip in the space-time continuim, disrupting the flow of life as we know it?" Hermione said technically.
"Maybe you two are just being completly stupid." Ron said. Tsunade and Jiriya stared angrily at him.
"Uh, he didn't mean that!" Harry said, waving his hands frantically. "Nice going idiot." He mumbled into Ron's ear.
"What do you want me to do?" Shikamaru asked, obviously confused on his purpose of being here in the first place.
"Well, couldn't you just, you know, spontaneously come up with some sort of plan right on the spot? Something that we could use to beat our opponents that would work no matter how the events turn out." Jiriya pleaded with him. Shikamaru just kind of stared at him.
"Listen. I have nothing to work with." Jiriya pulled out several multi-colored crayons, and a pad of paper.
"Do you actually carry those around with you daily?" Shikamaru asked, unfortunately already knowing the answer.
"Yes... but,"
"I don't want an explanation. And that's not what I meant." He said, throwing the crayons and paper over the edge of the tower. "I don't have much information on these people, I don't have the slightest clue on how they will attack, and I don't know how many of them there are."
"Well, we know there's a lot of them, if that helps in any way..." Shikamaru smacked his face with his hands in annoyance.
"Oh that's a real help. Thanks Mr. Point-out-the-obvious-a-lot."
"You're welcome." Jiriya said, obviously not understanding what Shikamaru was getting at.
"I was being sarcastic."
"What's that?." Right now, Shikamaru felt like crying.
"Just forget it..."
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Voldemort, Sasuke, and about 20 men were lined up on the edge of the forest. Orochimaru was giddily hoping about, annoying everyone in the vicinity.
"When will they call back? At this rate, the sun will rise too quickly. Our success depends upontheirs." Voldemort hissed, obviously agitated. Sasuke shrugged, calm on the exterior. Yet on his insides, he was boiling mad. They should have contacted them once the plan was finished. It couldn't take that long to finish as it wasn't horribly complicated.
Quite unexpectedly, a huge ring of frogs and slugs were positioned around the school. They all stared confusedly. That wasn't supposed to happen. A little while later, the doors to the school opened, and the infiltration group disguised as Slytherins came running out. They would have shouted outa warning, but it was too late. Several became messily impaled upon a katana of a frog, dying the once green lawns crimson. The rest were caught unawares by a shower of acid that was thrown from the mouth of a slug. Like human candles, they melted and burned, leaving messy piles of gooey sludgeeverywhere.
"Tsk tsk. I told 'dem to be careful, but no! They just march out here like no one would notice." Orochimaru sounded like he was scolding a naughty child. Everyone stared at him.
"Are you saying that you told them to abort the plan?" Voldemort asked quietly. "And that now, this mission is a failure because you halted H.I.I.?"
"Yup!" Voldemort whipped out his wand and aimed it directly above Orochimaru's chest, shaking slightly.
"Why would anyone, anyone in their right minds! Do that? Tell me before I rot you from the inside out!" His face twiched uncontrolably.
"Listen..." Orochimaru gently pushed the wand point away from his chest and towards the ground. While doing so, he pulled a wand out from his pocket and let it hang by his side, gently heldin his hand. "I've got a better plan than that other one. You know how in all those movies were people go insane because people mess with their minds? Well, why don't we bore them all into submission with annoying sales calls?" Voldemort's mouth dropped open in disbelief.
"We are not here to use PHYCIOLOGICAL WARFARE! WE ARE HERE TO TAKE THE GIRL AND KILL THE PEOPLE IN THIS CASTLE! NOT PLAY SOME GODDAMN GAME!" Voldemorts wand emanatedwith an unpleasentaura.
All this time, Sasuke had been watching, not wanting to get involved in such a pointless arguement. But now, he was sick of it. Sick and tired of these two arguing for no real reason. He was, and this wasn't just his ego speaking, much better than the both of them. He pushed himself to his feet and stood between them.
"You're both being childish. If you can't resolve this in the next 10 seconds, I'll kill you both." Something plastic was poking out of Orochimaru's pocket. Sasuke snatched it from him. He held it up close to his face, trying to figure out what it was. Some sort of white, powdery substance filled the little plastic bag halfway. "What is this?"
"Nothing." Orochimaru said, rocking back and forth on his feet.
"Oh my God..." Sasuke gasped, realization dawning upon him. "This is crack! Isn't it?" Orochimaru nodded, and a ministormcloud formed above his head. "You've been high on crack this whole time? What is wrong with you? Forget it, just forget it! I'm taking charge of this mission starting now! NO BUTS!" He yelled at Voldemort who looked as if he was going to interupt. "BOTH OF YOU LEAVE! VOLDEMORT! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET OROCHIMARU BACK TO HIS SENSES!"
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"I DON'T KNOW! JUST DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU DO!" Sasuke was all but frothing at the mouth. This time, he was going to do things the right way. His way.
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Ack! I haven't updated in over a week! I have reached an all time low! I tried getting this up Friday, but I got dragged off to my grandparent's house where they have no internet connection whatsoever. During the week, I had writers block so I started a new story called: Right Out of a Hat. It's a really weird Naruto story. If you read it, it will make me really happy! Anyways, I will try to update ASAP! Till then!