Summary: Rewrite of Control of the Situation. "The weight of the galaxy's loss must be visible on her shoulders, just as it is on his." Ahsoka Tano has been observing Saw Gerrera's actions following the rise of the Empire. It's time that she finally meets him again. One-shot. Post Rebels S4E4, pre Rogue One.
A/N: This version of Saw is written based off of him in the animated media more than in Rogue One, though the live action portrayal is amazing too.
After The Bridges Have Burnt
Ahsoka Tano is surprised when Ezra tells her about his cell meeting up with Saw Gerrera for an investigation on Geonosis, and then again on a kyber crystal chase. While she has been keeping tabs on the freedom fighter when she can, this is news to her.
From there, she learns that some of those they had saved had mentioned the moon Jedha, and its Holy City. She does research into the planet, and she learns of a temple dedicated to protecting the kyber crystals within the city. Given what Ezra had told her of his last interaction with the rebel extremist, it makes sense that this is where he would be.
And so, Ahsoka travels to Jedha.
She spends the first week keeping her head down, blending in with the local population. Empire troops patrol the Holy City, but it's not difficult to evade them- the stormtroopers are far more inefficient than the clones, than even the Separatists droids, ever were.
When there's finally an attack, Gerrera's wayward cell rising up to meet the Empire's men, she can finally be relieved- she's in the right place. Though she sees no sign of Saw, the sight of rebels here is a promising sign that he's around too.
She studies his cell, learns everything about them that she can. They're called the Partisans, and they formed on Onderon not long after the Empire took over, twisting Gerrera's home planet beneath another cruel superpower government. Something that he's clearly more than displeased about- not that she can't disagree. Though his cell's methods are way over the top, a growth of some of the darkness he had displayed back during the first fight for Onderon. Talking to him is not going to be easy, with their difference in ideals of tactics against the Empire.
Ahsoka hasn't personally spoken to Saw Gerrera since the death of his sister, Steela, at the end of the revolution against the Separatists. He had withdrawn, then, blaming himself for what had happened. He'd not given her much of a farewell at all. It's been years, now, about two decades, and she has absolutely no idea how he will take to seeing her. Would he turn her away? Would he welcome her? She's certainly not expecting a warm welcome.
It's in the third attack, after a Star Destroyer has moved in, that she finally sees him.
She gets a glimpse of a couple of other men, too, at the Kyber Temple, before it's taken. One man blind, with a staff, the other with a big blaster. The blind man has a powerful Force connection, and she wonders if he could have been a Jedi, in another life. She can see the slump in their shoulders as they retreat from the temple they had been sworn to protect, and she wonders what it had looked like at the Jedi Temple when Order 66 had been declared.
In the aftermath of the battle, watching from a distance, she tracks Saw and his Partisans out into the desert, across a very long stretch of sand, to a base carved into the ruins of a statue, of a statue depicting a Jedi. She hopes that he's chosen it as their base of operations out of respect for the Order's aid in their revolution so many years ago, and not out of spite.
She smuggles herself into the base, dressed as one of their own. Gerrera's too deep in his defeat to pay much attention to who's around him, and no one else here knows her. She watches him, carefully observing firsthand just how much he has changed.
Saw Gerrera is a saw. He's as sharp as any blade, stabbing right where it hurts the most- even before Steela died, when he had been happier, more forgiving.
But right now, the man that Ahsoka sees is one whose whole life revolves around war, around fighting. He's not merely a saw anymore, he's a lightsaber- he can protect one moment, lash out in the next. War has destroyed him, inside and out.
Tension is high in the base. No one gets along. They share only their cause. It's no surprise, really. It was only through Steela that Saw had remained agreeable with her and the freedom fighters of Onderon. His Partisans would take after him.
As dusk falls upon Jedha, the sun sinking and turning the moon cold, Ahsoka follows Saw outside, his war-torn body leaning heavily on a cane- despite both of his legs being cybernetic, they're unsteady things.
For a long moment, he simply stands there, staring quietly at the distant shape of the city, at the smoke still billowing up into the sky. Then he sighs, lifts up his respirator, and takes a deep, shuddering breath- the breath of a weary man. He turns slowly, without a sound, gives her a life-tired look over.
"I thought you might come." He sounds as worn down as he looks.
"You knew I was here?" She returns, surprised.
He huffs, and she's not sure if she imagines the trace of amusement in the motion. "You Jedi aren't always as subtle as you think you are, Commander."
So, he recognizes her after all. Not that her appearance has changed much since their last meeting. She's merely a little taller, her lekku longer, her eyes sadder. The weight of the galaxy's loss must be visible on her shoulders, just as it is on his.
They both allow a brief moment of silence to wash over them, an unspoken minute of mourning filling the air between them as they remember their last meeting, the tragedy that they had occurred just before their parting.
"Grew up, huh?" His lips quirk up sadly, and then his green eyes tear away, and his voice is sharper, almost like it used to be, when he speaks again. "What brings you here?"
"Just observing what you've been doing with Rex's training." Ahsoka says. "Ezra Bridger tells me that you've been chasing down kyber crystals."
"Yeah, and I'm sure you've seen how that's been going." Saw half-heartedly gestures to the smoking city, a cold mask sweeping over his form, reminding her of the presence of Darth Vader washing over that of Anakin Skywalker. "The Empire, they're no droids. They don't give up. I fear that taking the temple may have given them the last of the kyber that they need for their weapon."
"What kind of weapon are they building?" She asks.
"Something that can destroy not just my rebellion, but all rebellion. There will be nothing left if they complete it. That is why I am here, trying to put an end to it- at all costs. Ezra did not understand, and I don't expect you to either. The ways of the Jedi don't align with our ways."
"You mean, they don't align with your ways."
"Onderon taught me that being fair is how you lose what matters the most. There's no place for that, if we are to stop the Empire."
"Steela would disagree with you." Ahsoka points out.
His eyes flash. "Steela's dead! This is my war, and I'll fight it the way I want to, the way the galaxy needs me to fight it." Saw raises his respirator, takes a deep, raspy breath. He's quieter, that weariness back upon him, when he clips it back to his armor. "You shouldn't have come here. There's nothing left of our past- our paths separated a long time ago. And, it seems, for good reason. I cannot allow you to stay here."
"I understand." She murmurs, filled with nothing but sympathy for the way things had turned out for the man before her. For him, she is too much of a reminder of the loss of his sister. For her, she knows she would lose her way if she were to join his group. It's for the best that she does leave. She moves so that he is between her and the base. "Take care of yourself, Saw. May the Force be with you."
He gives that almost-amused huff again, then a curt nod. "Stay hidden, Commander. Wouldn't want you joining the rest of the Jedi Order, now."
"I will." She promises.
She wants to return the request, but she knows that staying hidden is the last thing that he would ever do. Because this saw is sharp, ready to do some damage, even if some of its points are going dull with the tragedies of time.
So, she says nothing more. And she walks away, out across the open expanse of sand in front of her.
It's a cold galaxy, and the warmth is still far away.