Marge lit the last candle on the bath side, chuckling to herself, she had phoned her husband at work before he could leave for Moe's tavern and informed him she had some important news to share.
"Drunkeness be gone!" She exclaimed starting the water. He was rather rude after a night of drinking and his beer belly certainly wasn't earning him attractive points. Would he return home though?
Marge sat on the edge of the bath and ran her fingers up through her hair.
"Homer why did it have to come to this?" She asked the air. Steam rose around her and she began to remember the previous Friday.
--
"Hey...Margerie...come 'ere..."
"Uh...Homie it's three a.m what are you doing in the kitchen? Come to bed."
Marge wrapped her pink night robe around her,
"Gimme...some...baby.." Homer's eyes seemed undialated and he fell off the red wood chair into a drunken heap on the tile floor.
"If this is your idea of romance, I'm not buying..." Marge groaned.
She flipped the kicthen light off not caring if she left him there or not, tired of it, wanting to feel a close intimate love with her husband.
--
Marge dipped her hand in the steamy water filling the tub, she felt depression sweep over her quickly.
It shouldn't be here, she thought. Just then the serenity of falling water was interupted by the sound of a yelp. Marge quickly hopped up and wrapped her towel around her tight.
"Who needs it anyway?" She asked herself sarcastically.
Two of her three kids rolled into the master bedroom at each other's throats, all screaming and an occasional curse from her eleven year old son Bart. Not unaccostomed she stomed her foot between the two and they stared up scowling.
"Mom! Bart keeps letting his dumb friends in my room!"
"She's lying! Lying lying lying!" Bart cried back at his younger sister.
"Be quiet both of you!" Their mother scolded angrily,
"Bart go play video games with your friends downstairs, and Lisa, could you please keep your door locked for once?"
Lisa tapped her foot still glaring at her brother, who ignoring her began walking out.
"It was locked..." she scowled. Bart however, was long on his way.
Marge sighed depressingly and sat at the edge of her queen sized beauty rest.
"Mom? You seem upset." Lisa noted more calmly, she sat beside her mother.
"Oh it's just your father, I asked him to come home early tonight in attempt to rekindle our love...but what is there to rekindle when all he wants to do is drink!"
Lisa shifted nervously all of a sudden, unsure of how to handle this, and she was usually well adapted with a witty remark for any situation.
"Well...who knows..maybe what Dad secretly wants is what you're after too."
"Yeah..." Marge sighed unsure. She didn't want to run to her nine year old daughter with her problems, but wanted desperately to be cheered up in her sudden downcast.
"Well...I made a new friend at school today, she's really neat for her age." Lisa smiled attempting to lighten the mood.
"That's great honey," Marge said not truly noticing, she began to eye the bathroom door again.
"Oh shoot, I left the water running, Lisa honey why don't you go do something else, I am going to wait for your father to return home."
Lisa shrugged.
"Well alright Mom, good luck and..all."
Marge nodded and jogged into the bathroom, the tub was filled just right. She sighed gratefully and turned the two crystal nobs.
"Well I might as well give this a try, nothing ventured...nothing gained."
--
Homer was driving away from the power plant mumbling words of hatred towards a co worker who miffed him.
"Stupid Lenny..thinks he's so great and ohhh look at me I got promoted! For doing nothing! Absolutely nothing! While I have to work at this crap shack! And now I can't even go drin-king! Because of my wife!"
He honked the horn at a passer byer on the dirt road harmlessly shipping chickens to the farmland.
"Out of the way jerk!"
Homer's head was filled with revenge scenes, his "so called friend" had been promoted to a floor under their bosses all because of his "sucking up" skills, Homer thought,
"Well I'm safety inspector! Wasn't for me they'd all be dead!" He stopped himself and thought of all the near melt downs he had caused.
"Well still..."
A light freezing rain began to fall causing the window's of homer's light sedan to start fogging.
"Awww Dammit! You suck rain!" He yelled stupidly pounding one fist on the window.
Homer switched the radio on and off so fast, swearing under his breath the whole way home. Just what was Marge up to? Oh well it beat going to the bar and drinking with jerks like Lenny.
"That's right, you heard me, a jerk!" Homer swore again, passing a bacon truck he lost his train of thought and imagined Marge at home with a pan of bacon waiting, causing his stomach to rumble.
"Maybe it won't be so bad..." He said quietly to the rain.
--
"Homie, come into the bathroom.." Marge said in a low voice. Homer did not see her but he began to smile, now wanting to know what she was up to.
"That's right dear, come in here...I need to...talk to you."
"Ohhh." Homer opened the bathroom door a little more since it was only ajar and peaked in. He gasped, watching his wife swish the bubbly water in their tub around with her finger.
"Marge, is this what you called me home for?"
Marge chuckled her throaty laugh and Homer quickly closed the door behind him, dropping his silver lunch box and reaching to unclip his tie.
Score! He thought in his one track mind.
"Why...are you dissapointed?" She asked in a mild seducing tone.
Without a word and still undressing as quickly as he could, Homer sat at the edge of the bath tub and took his wife's delicate hand. The candles flickered, wax spilling onto the rim, Homer felt a deep caring but it was over powered by his testosterone drive and he bent over to kiss his wife, still in his underwear. She didn't laugh this time, she just continued to kiss him, positive it was going great. Ignoring the occasional yell in the hallway and bickering between her children.
"Oh Homie did you lock the door?" She mumbled between a kiss.
"Who needs to know?" He asked not caring one way or another, as if kids never caught their parents in the act.
She chuckled once more and pulled him in closer so that the soapy water began to cover him too. He had waited for the night his wife would make the move instead of him. It felt more right, it reassured him he wasn't too bald or fat or ignorant to not be able to turn his wife on every now and then.
Guys like me keep the world in perfect balance, he thought wrapping his two bulky arms around his slender wife.
"Oh Homie...this is perfect.." Marge moaned. And it is, she thought, it is...It will all be alright now.
--
Marge lay contently in her husbands arms, the Christmas tree was lit by the fireside, and the television was finally off, they both lay silently on the couch.
The kids are finally asleep, Homer isn't snoring for once, I feel a great satisfaction...Oh perfect perfect, and Maggie isn't even crying tonight or in need of a diaper change! Boy did I hit the jack pot tonight. It just goes to show everything will be alright. Marge looked around the room, a couple sparks danced off the open fire and Marge felt the same hot sparks in her heart getting warmer.
She sat up gently and slowly removed her husband's arm, his mouth was wide open as usual but it didn't bother her. His skin stilled smelled fresh from the soap in the bath tub.
Marge took another glance around and got up silently tip toeing to the kitchen. She stepped over the baby gate wondering why she hadn't taken it down.
"Oh yeah, I was having sex." She grinned at her blunt ness and went to open the fridge but jumped startled to find Bart's friend Milhouse fast asleep at the table with a plate of cake beside him. She groaned and shook him gently.
"Milhouse, oh Milhouse."
Milhouse stirred and his hand clamped over his glasses, now half way off his face.
"Mommy...it's not fair...all the boys are dating..." He mumbled. Marge frowned and nudged him harder.
"Wake up Milhouse!"
"Huh! Oh oh it's just you Missus Simpson..." he yawned.
"I must of fallen asleep while we were all eating and...hey! They left me here! No fair!"
Marge placed her hands over her hips,
"Simple Milhouse, Go back upstairs into Bart's room, Geez Louise!"
Not understanding why her patience had gone down the drain once more Marge watched as the kid sat up unsteadily and began to walk towards the opposite door away from the baby gate.
This place couldn't get more interesting she thought reaching for the fridge again.