From the author: I like working with the Soul Calibur series, so I thought pairing up people and making funny things happen in everydaty life would be funny stuff. So, here's the second in my series of Soul Calibur Humor Fanfics. If you enjoy this one, don't forget to check out the first one: Sandwiches for Kilik.
"Gypsy Mirrors"
"Ah!" Talim stared at herself in horror. The mirror had to be warped! No, no, better yet, it had to be one of those mirrors that those gypsies scared me with. Talim scolded at the sudden memory. No need to remember that, though.
"Gypsy mirror."
Talim nearly fell on her face. She glanced over her shoulder.
Cassandra smirked. "So jumpy…" she purred slyly, uncrossing her arms and moving away from the doorway. "Tsk, tsk. That's not like the Talim I know."
Talim blushed. "Like you know me!" she exclaimed, turning away from her friend. "You're just here until Sophitia finds you and drags you back to Greece."
The blonde rolled her eyes and flopped down onto Talim's soft bed. "It isn't necessary to snap at friends, Miss Talim," Cassandra returned nonchalantly, propping herself up on one elbow. She eyed her friend quickly before smirking. Talim stared at herself in the mirror, turning to her side. "Your butt looks huge!"
Talim whirled around, eyes blazing. "What?" she exclaimed, starting towards Cassandra. The foreigner burst into laughter.
"Gypsy mirrors!"
Talim tripped over her feet when she tried to run at the girl, falling flat on her face. When she climbed up, she glared daggers at the girl. "Look, I have a date, and I am not in the mood for—"
"Gypsy mirrors!"
Why did she always have to bring that up?
Cassandra roared with laughter as Talim tumbled over her—tiny—husky doll.
Where did that come from?
Cassandra quickly jumped up to avoid Talim's Crescent Moon weapon. The blade sliced through her warm quilt, earning Talim's surprised squeak. Not her favorite blue quilt! Talim turned in Cassandra's direction to find her gone.
"Cassandra!"
"Gypsy mirrors, Talim!"
Talim rammed her whole right side into the wall when she ran towards the doorway. Talim entered—well, more like fell—into the corridor. Angrily, she jumped to her feet and ran down the corridor that lead towards the stairwell.
"You bitch!" Talim screamed, waving her weapon.
Smack!
"Ow!"
As the bump was forming on her head, Talim looked up at her mother—her rather angry and gigantic mother—and immediately backed away.
"Don't say words like such, young lady!" her mother said—well, actually, yelled.
"But, Mom—" Talim started, but her mother—her angry and gigantic mother—shook her head, hands on her hips.
"What did she say to get you all angry?"
Talim whimpered. Every time she said it, she remembered it. She gulped and began quickly as she saw her mother—her huge, strong mother—take a dangerous step towards her. It all came rushing out. "CassandracameinwhileIwaschangingformydateandshekeptsayinggypsymirrorsandshekeptsayingitandIwantedtoknockthewindoutofherandshekeepssayingitsoIrememberit—"
Immediately, the fire in Talim's mother's eyes dissolved and her eyes widened with understanding. Talim sighed inwardly as she felt she was off the hook.
Smack!
"Still, young lady, no more swear words!" And with that, Talim's mother—like Bigfoot's most fearsome enemy—stomped off, telling her father—rather roaring like the lion of the jungle—to use coasters on the wooden tables and to "cut his ugly toenails!"
Talim began to descend the stairs to murder Cassandra as she heard the last of her mother's threats: "Do you really want to cut the wind with those things? Get the scissors and cut your toenails!"
Talim was almost at the bottom of the stairs when she heard her foreign friend's voice.
"Gypsy mirrors!"
Talim nearly went down the last part of the stairs as the memory played in her brain.
Nooooooooo!
The girl fell flat on her face, earning a burst of laughter from Cassandra, who was doubling over down the hallway.
"Wait until I get you, you bi—"
"Young lady!"
Talim gulped as she felt a shadow descend over her.
"Beea—uuuuty!"
The shadow suddenly disappeared.
"Why thank you, Miss Talim," Cassandra said casually, bowing with a smirk.
Talim sprinted down the hall, her weapon ready to strike. All she needed was one good hit—
"Gypsy mirrors!"
Talim fell flat on her face on the dirty, dirty ground (who the heck cleaned this week?). The raven-haired girl quickly bounced up from the dirty, dirty ground, pursuing the blond foreigner. Talim was going to strangle the girl, strangle her good.
As thoughts of how Talim was going to bury the body, she turned a corner in time to catch Cassandra tripping over a chair.
What a stupid bitch.
Smack!
"Ow!" A shadow descended over her again, and Talim cringed as a second bump began to form on her head. "I can't even think it!"
The shadow was suddenly gone.
Talim scolded as she realized that her prey—her former friend, Cassandra—had disappeared again. She heard laughing from around the base of the stairwell. She knew that laughing all too well by now.
Talim hurried towards the source of the laughter—to discover Cassandra's precious blue shield spinning and dust tracking into the backroom dojo area. Man, she knows how to book it when I'm about to murder her.
The dark-haired girl crept to the doorway that lead to the dojo and cautiously opened it. She made a step to enter the dojo when she heard those murderous words.
"Gypsy mirrors!"
Talim slipped on something hard as she toppled backwards, her feet flying in the air. She landed on her back with a hard thud before rolling over to discover the source of her fall.
A rolling pin.
Talim roared like a lion, getting to her feet and running to attack Cassandra. The blonde, red from laughing so hard, uttered a squeak before grabbing her nearby sword and parrying Talim's Crescent Moon attacks.
Talim managed to recover from the parry and ripped Cassandra's ribbon from her hair. Cassandra's face flushed with anger.
"That's my favorite ribbon!"
Talim smirked as she tied the long ribbon around her waist.
Cassandra struck out with her sword, missing Talim as she avoided the blade.
"Stupid gypsy mirrors!"
Talim fell forward this time, hitting the floor with a hard thud. Talim managed to regain her composure in time to dodge Cassandra's deadly blade. She heard the infamous rolling pin roll somewhere.
That damn rolling pin! Is it on Cassandra's side too!
"You made me get all these bruises!"
"You took my ribbon!"
The girls jumped in the air, both with their legs extended with an intention to kick each other.
"You stupid bitch!" both of the girls screamed at each other in unison.
A mighty roar resounded as well as the sound of claws hurrying on the floorboards of the dojo.
Damn.
Talim's mother, roaring like a lion, kicked both the girls down.
Nooooooo!
Talim's father, who was responsible for the claws—actually, his ugly, long toenails—met them with his Lecture and "You're Grounded" attack, immobilizing both girls.
Talim and Cassandra whimpered as they sank to the floor. Somehow, a bucket filled with soapy water and two clothes appeared in their hands.
"But, Talim's mom—"
A shadow appeared over Cassandra's body as Talim scrubbed in the farthest corner of the room, hoping to avoid her mother's—more like, the lion's—smack attack.
Smack! Smack!
Talim laughed inwardly as she felt the shadow disappear from Cassandra's body. She glanced in Cassandra's direction to see bumps forming on her forehead. Talim laughed outwardly now, earning a glare from Cassandra's red face.
"Gypsy mirrors."
Talim's hands slid forward from the soapy area as her knees slid back. The sliding occurred so fast, Talim didn't have a chance to catch herself. She landed face first in the soapy floor.
Damn gypsy mirrors.
Author: Please review! I love hearing what you think! Also, if you like this short fanfic, enjoy the first humor fanfic, Sandwiches for Kilik. Thank you:)