6-20-05

Zim sat in front of the dimly glowing computer screen, the light casting shadows on his already weathered face. He was a sickly pale yellow color, ready to collapse but unwilling to surrender himself to sleep. He had to keep working. The others were depending on him. If he didn't get the weapons operational again, they would kill him. Well, no they wouldn't, but they'd still be very angry.

His companions slept easy in the next room. Tak wasn't exactly sleeping, but she'd entered her rest cycle. Gaz, last time Zim had checked, had her eyes closed and her arms crossed over her chest. She would have looked dead if not for the fact that her chest moved with her slow, even breathing. Dib was curled up on his bunk, defensive even in sleep. His comrades, his...friends? No, not quite. Irkens had no friends. They were soldiers in his division, and they had seen battle together.

Suddenly, the com link crackled. Zim glanced up sharply, closed out of the maintenance screen, and opened the communications link. The faces of two regal-looking Irkens filled the view screen. Zim gasped and averted his eyes, desperately trying to find a way to make his skin greener.

"Hey, Zim, how ya doin?" One of the Irkens-it had purple eyes-shoved a fistful of chips into its mouth.

"M-my Tallest?" Zim choked, still averting his eyes. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"Look, Zim, we quit doing the theatrics awhile ago." The other one rolled its red eyes and sighed. "Now we cut straight to the point. We saw what you did to the humans. Sloppy, leaving everything else, but still impressive. I mean, enlisting the help of a human genius was, uh, genius. And that Neptunian...she's creepy. Tak was just crazy anyway, so she doesn't really matter."

"What Red is trying to say is we want you to come back. Lead an army or something. You know, all that good stuff." Purple swallowed another fistful of chips. "You interested?"

"I...of COURSE I want to come back! To lead an army and serve My Tallest, that has always been my DREAM! What do I have to do to please you, my lords?"

"Hey, hey, wait a minute, Zim. We were getting to that part!" Purple grumbled unhappily for a long time, and Red got annoyed with him and decided to continue for him.

"There's only one catch to the whole thing. You've gotta kill your little minions. They could pose a threat to the Empire. You get rid of them, we make you the leader of your own army."

They cut the transmission after telling Zim to contact them when he;d disposed of his companions.

Zim didn't move. His breathing became harsh, ragged, and the color returned to his face. To please the Tallest he must kill the very beings who had helped him find a purpose after the Tallest destroyed him. He would lead an army. He could bring about the doom of countless planets. He would have to kill his comrades. He would have power. He would be accepted by the Tallest. He would be alone.

He stood. How easy it would be to kill them in their sleep. He could cut off the air to their sleeping quarters. They would suffocate without ever waking. He could slit their throats. Dib had a knife sitting on his desk. A single swipe of that knife could end the human's life. Another stroke could spill the brilliant lifeblood of the Neptunian. One more would kill a fellow Irken. It was so easy.

Dib had done it. he had killed one of his own. Zim could easily do the same. All it took was one little slice, one blow. A flip of a switch. How fragile their lives were. So small an effort to take the ultimate treasure. How easily he could extinguish them.

Zim drifted into the sleeping quarters, heading straight for Dib's bunk. The knife was there, glittering in the dim glow of florescent lights. Zim picked it up. So smooth, so light, so deadly. He could see the reflection of Gaz in the polished blade. An emotion fought its way toward the surface, smothered before it could get to air. His three comrades slept easy, oblivious to the silent drama being played out before them. Zim stared at Gaz's reflection, at her lying so peacefully. She was like a corpse in a coffin. One stroke would MAKE her one.

Zim turned. Tak's sightless eyes mocked him, dared him to do it. Even unconscious she tried to goad him. Mimi slept curled up next to her, the smooth metal rising and falling as Tak breathed. One cut, and Tak's chest would fall and still. Mimi could easily be rewired to serve Zim. Just another cut, and she too would become his devoted servant.

And then he went back to Dib. Silently, the human seemed to cry out. He reminded Zim of saving his life so long ago, that day when Dib had reached his lowest point. Had Zim saved his life only to end it himself? Zim raised the knife.

And the reflection of Gaz burned into his eyes. He struck. And again. And again. The knife danced in a flurry of chaotic fury, biting into its targets time after time. Zim found himself sobbing, but he couldn't say why. He collapsed to the ground, his tiny frame shaking uncontrollably.

Gaz bolted upright. Soon after, Tak and Dib followed suit. Their pillows had been hacked up, some of the cuts coming just up to their heads. Gaz felt at her neck and touched the ends of newly severed hair. She allowed herself one small gasp of air at the sight of Zim's crumpled form. Together, she and the others rushed to him, fearing the worst.

What they found was the completely unharmed Irken clutching a knife and locks of violet hair. He was crying, the choking sobs twisting his tiny frame. There was nothing that anyone could say. Zim had seriously considered killing them. Something made him snap. Gaz wiped away a tear and tried to put a hand on his shoulder.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Zim, recoiling from her touch.

"Zim, what happened?" asked Tak, her voice for once devoid of any sarcasm.

"The-the Tallest. Said I could come back. Had to kill you." Zim buried his head in his arms and refused to talk any more.

"It's okay, Zim. We're here. The Tallest never meant what they said. they just want to mess with your head. Don't listen to them." Dib was trying his best to comfort his comrade, but the Irken seemed inconsolable.

"I tried to kill you. I tried to kill you." He just kept repeating it over and over again.

"But you didn't, Zim. It doesn't make you a horrible person to consider an offer like that. They hurt you, and they know you're still completely devoted to them. But you're better than that. Calm down."

It was Tak's words that slowly silenced the sobs. Surprised, Gaz and Dib stared at her. She shrugged and pried the knife from Zim's trembling fingers.

"What? Don't think I'm going soft. I just want to avert a disaster, here." She rolled her eyes and set the knife back on the desk.

"Zim, everything is okay. You need sleep." Gaz carefully lifted the Irken onto her bed. "Rest now. We'll talk things over when you wake up, okay?"

Amazingly, Zim's eyes closed. Seconds later, he was fast asleep.

Irkens aren't supposed to love. It's not built into their genetics. They are supposed to be cold killing machines that serve only their masters. Feelings are for the other species, the creatures Irkens destroy. Only a defective would ever consider emotion.

Zim is a defective. He feels love. It's not supposed to happen, but perhaps emotion isn't so horrible. Because he feels love, Zim is not a monster.