Disclaimer: Nope, me not own nothing!
Well, I think this proves I am as wacky as those in the Cabin Fever song from Muppet Treasure Island! (sings along to - We were sailing, SAILING! The wind was on our side! ... Un Den it died!)
Ahem - sorry, Anyway, read on, it's basically just a random little monologue from the POV of a tube of leg wax... erm yeah
Waxy Monologue
"My Bonnie lies over the ocean! My Bonnie lies over the sea! My Bonnie… What you looking at? Yes you – The dumb space weevil in the corner! Ain't you ever seen mutated singing wax before? …No? Ah – Hi, I'm 'Ultra Soft All Over Wax Gel' but my friends call me Waxy… Who are my friends? Well, it's kinda hard to make friends when you're wedged under a medical scanner, but I'm on good terms with Clive the Psi Scanner when he's around…
God I'm bored – It's not much fun been a tube of leg wax, not much to do – unless someone comes along wanting me to help them in the process of waxing – There's two of them now, some guy with fangs, he's pretty cool, he sings a lot and he uses me sparingly on his legs. The PVC woman scares me – I mean, all the wax in the world couldn't make that bikini line pretty!
She took me and put me in a bag of makeup – It was cool at first, but her stuff didn't talk! Well boring, I mean what's fun been a smart tube of wax if those around you are dull beauty products with less IQ than a glass of water?
…Yeah, it was better then been used to wax PVC's bikini line, but still – I had to bust outta there! So I rolled off the table when she was having one of her pointless beauty sessions and carried on rolling. Fang found me in the corridor and hid me back here – and here I have been.
What do you mean you have to leave? What have you gotta do that's so important? …Scavenge food scraps for your mate and babies? Well I guess that's QUITE important – But I need company! …Well EXCUSE ME! But Clive ain't here!
…Nah, they went on some scavenging mission – The entire crew, Fang, PVC, Pigtails and Smash Face – Took Clive with them, shame too – We were gonna play I-Spy!
You can hear squelching? They must be back, that's probably Pigtails coming with Clive or something – He always has sticky gunk on his feet, it's like he's breeding a fungus colony under those soles – and I'm not just talking about the underside of his shoes!
Don't go into a frenzy! Hide, well I know you can't hide from the smell! But still Hide! I dunno! Anywhere Weevil sized! But just watch out for his –" (squelch) "…Foot… Oh well – His mate will just have to go food fetching herself – Hey Clive! I spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'S' …Smashed Space Weevil is right! Ok your turn!... You're bored already?...
Ok… My Bonnie lies over the ocean! My Bonnie lies over the sea! My Bonnie lies over the ocean! Oh bring back my Bonnie to me!"