a/n: um. this is a flashback. see note at end of chapter for more.
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Dib's ears were still ringing from his sister's words, though she hadn't spoken in what seemed like hours. It seemed so unreal, but then again, look where he was sitting. In a spaceship. Not just any spaceship, either. He was in his sworn enemy's Voot Cruiser, en route to a planet where it was said a strange race of warlike creatures lay in hiding.
He was curled up on the ground, head down and eyes closed. Something had twisted the fragile shell of reason on which Dib's last scraps of sanity rested. A small sound, and he let his memory travel back to that conversation.
"Eh, Dib?"
"Yeah, Gaz?" Dib was busy staring at the solar system going by and barely heard her.
"Um, Dib, I've got something to tell you."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"I'm an alien."
"And? So am I, remember?"
"No, not like that. I mean, well…don't freak out, Dib. Look at me."
Annoyed, Dib glanced at his sister.
And his sister wasn't there.
A bluish hand pushed back violet hair. Red eyes blinked back tears, and the alien stood. It was a foot and a half taller than Dib, skeletal and graceful. A third eye stared sightlessly ahead, though it saw more than human eyes ever could. The creature smiled sadly and addressed him.
"Hi, Dib."
Zim glanced over. "You dropped your shields? Oh, look. The worm baby's experiencing a total breakdown." A cackle of laughter, and he continued. "Well, you had to tell him sometime, I guess. Your family wouldn't recognize you if you showed up in that stupid human suit."
"Th-that's…" Dib stopped, swallowed, and didn't continue.
"Yes, Dib. This is Gaz. I'm from the Neptunian Space Patrol unit 227. I was sent to Earth to destroy it years ago. However, I became attached to my host family and chickened out. Now I guess I've finally completed my mission."
"Oh, God. My sister's an alien."
"Don't freak out, okay? I really have grown attached to you! I'm still Gaz, you know. I just look different. Please don't freak out."
Dib hadn't spoken a word since that moment. Now he raised his head, looked around the ship, and wondered if there were any sharp things lying around.
"Don't even THINK about it, human," snapped Zim, not bothering to turn around.
"Oh, Goddess, what am I going to do?" Gaz, meanwhile, was frantic. "My brother won't talk to me. He thinks I'm a horrible monster. I'm on my way to a home that might decide to have me killed. What else could go wrong?"
"You could be dead," replied Zim flatly.
"Is the Neptunian whining?" asked Tak over the intercom. "Good Goddess, girl. Pull yourself together! I don't want to have to come over there and comfort you. I'm no good at that."
"I'm fine, Tak. Just concentrate on following our ship. Where's Gir?"
"He and Mimi are playing video games in the storage facility."
"Oh, okay. Um….Dib?"
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
"Maybe."
"Good. We'll be there in another hour or two. Make yourself presentable. Unkempt appearances will not be tolerated in the presence of regality. Run along now." Gaz tried not to let her worry show again. It had been too much to let it slip once.
"So….we destroyed the Earth. Now what?" Zim's computer yawned. "After all, you both completed your missions. Plan on going off to another planet and destroying it?"
"I don't know…..maybe." Gaz stared off into space-no pun intended. "But destroying really isn't my thing, you know?"
"When the Tallest hear of my conquest, they might reinstate me as an Invader. In which case, we would become enemies again." Zim glanced at the Neptunian.
"Would you really want that?"
"I...don't know now."
Dib came back. He didn't really look much different than before. His hair was a little less messed-up, but the trench coat was still there. The clothes underneath were wrinkled, but probably clean. It was the best he could do.
"We're approaching the planet. Any last words, Neptunian?" asked Zim's computer.
"Go to hell."
The planet, a swirling mass of blue and green, filled the view screen. Gaz sighed lovingly, tears in her eyes. Home. She was going home. For the first time in decades, Gaz beheld the beauty of her home planet. She knew that what lay beneath the wispy clouds was hardly peaceful, but it was still hers. Nothing could ever change that.
"Gaz. Gaz! NEPTUNIAN!"
Gaz jumped. "What?"
"The planet is asking for an identification. I can't speak Neptunian."
"Oh. Sorry. Um…"
Gaz took the headset Zim was offering to her and switched her translator off.
"Terribly sorry for the delay. My pilot does not understand our language. This is Gaz, soldier 1222, reporting from Irken Voot Cruiser…1337. Accompanied by one other ship, Irken Takship 1, three, sorry, FOUR computer systems, two Irkens, two SIR droids, and a human. Requesting clearance for landing in dock bay 13. Over."
"What exactly did she just say?" asked Dib from the back.
"Shut your noise tube, Dib. Gaz is trying to get us a landing clearance," snapped Zim. "Ignore the child, Gaz. Listen for the reply."
In time, a small crackling sound preceded a low, melodic chatter of conversation. Gaz listened hard, trying to make out everything over the low-grade communications connection. It sounded promising, though years of training had taught Gaz not to let her guard down. EVER.
"Soldier 1222, you've been gone a long time. Why do you choose now to return to us, accompanied by Irkens and a human, no less?" growled the voice over the com link.
"I have come to report the success of my mission and await further instruction, or t least for a safe haven for a few weeks until we can take off for our next destination."
"Very well. You know that we cannot turn down a request for safety when it comes from one of our own. However, a word of warning to your companions: If they get on our bad side, we will tear them limb from limb."
"Thank you, Wolfie."
"Wait a minute…GAZ?"
"Well, who else would it be? It's been awhile, hasn't it?"
"Am I missing something, here?" asked Dib, finally starting to comprehend the conversation.
"Gaz! We thought you were dead! You finally destroyed the humans, huh?"
"Oh, just shut up and give both ships a clearance. Don't fire on the pilot called Tak, alright? She's with me."
"Will do, kid. Can't wait to see you."
"Same here, Wolfgang." Gaz cut the transmission and smiled. "Goddess, I love having a sibling working the security circuit."
"So that's your brother?" Zim was mildly amused. "He sounded like a Vortian."
"Oh, come on. He's really a nice guy."
"You have another brother?" Dib cried, attempting to insert himself into the conversation.
"Yes, Dib. I'm sorry, but my Neptunian family is very large. This one is Wolfgang. He's my younger by 13 years. Er, well, by your standards….about two years. I haven't been home in a long time, and everyone will probably want to see me. That is, everyone who is both still alive and on-planet. We'll stay here for awhile, then take off for wherever it is we want to go."
"Okay, I guess…" Dib sighed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Gaz? I mean, I would've had proof of aliens in the form of my little sister! Maybe we wouldn't have…"
"Shut up, Dib." Gaz rounded on him. "We would have done it anyway, you know. I had orders, Zim had orders, and you were screwed up to begin with. Tak alone would have done it. Earth was doomed from the moment it was recognized as a planet by sentient beings. Nobody could have changed that."
"I still wonder, though…"
"Enough with the philosophy!" snapped Tak over the intercom. "We're about to enter the docking bay. Are you certain it's safe?"
"Of course, Tak. My little brother, Wolfie, is working security right now. Nothing's going to happen on his watch."
"I hope not, Neptunian, because if we get shot at, I'm going to wring your scrawny neck!"
"Such a sweet girl," remarked the first of Tak's computers.
"Oh, of course. I wonder if she's experiencing PMS?" replied the other.
"I didn't think she could, but after what I've seen and heard, I wouldn't be surprised."
"Will you two let me concentrate? This docking bay is strange," growled Zim's computer. "I have to compensate for-"
-THUD-
"Well, looks like you did a STELLAR job of landing, calculator," sniggered computer 1.
"Like you could do better, beta brain."
-CRUNCH-
"I see you've managed to decimate half of your outer shell." Zim's computer gave a small laugh and went back to guiding the ship into the space allotted them.
The first thing the travelers noticed when they exited the ship was the lack of light. The hangar was lit only by dim crystals growing out of smooth black walls. No electric lights, no guidelines, and the edges of the black platforms where they stood dropped down without warning into even dimmer chasms of indefinable depth.
This place didn't look too family-friendly.
"Gaz? Gaz, is that you?"
A rather small creature scurried toward them. Its Mohawk was actually taller than the creature itself, and it had enormous red eyes, the third of which was half-closed. It smiled broadly upon catching sight of Gaz.
"Wolfie!" Gaz swept the thing into her arms, nearly crushing its spine in a hug. "I've missed you!"
"O…kay. That was NOT what I was expecting." Dib hung back with Zim and the others, feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Oh, sorry guys. This is Wolfgang, my little brother."
"Did you go through a major growth spurt in the last thirteen years, or is he just really short?" asked Tak, glaring through half-closed eyes at the Neptunians.
"Shut yer noise tube, bimbo," snarled the creature who called itself Wolfgang.
"Don't talk like that, Wolfie. It's not proper."
Gaz slapped her sibling on the top of the head, then dropped him. He landed with a small thud on the ground and got up quickly, cursing under his breath.
"Oh, look, Zim, you're not the shortest one here anymore," remarked Tak dryly, a small smile forming on her lips.
"Come on, Gaz, we better go see the superiors. They gotta reassign you or sumthin. I dunno what exactly's goin on."
Wolfgang scampered off, and Gaz followed close behind.
"That was…different," quipped Dib, still trying to figure out the whole sibling thing.
"Shut up, Dib, and let's go."
Dib hurried off with the others, annoyed but glad not to have to make the decisions for once.
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"Welcome, brave soldier Gaz," intoned the taller being.
"And welcome, friends of Soldier Gaz," added the slightly less tall one.
"Greetings, O Wise Ones." Gaz bowed respectfully, and her companions followed suit. "I bring good news. The human race has been eradicated. The planet Earth is ready to retake its territory and begin anew. I await your next orders."
"Why are these beings accompanying you, soldier?" asked the taller being.
"They assisted me in the destruction of the human race, O Wise Ones."
"But this big-headed one looks to be human. You, human, did you participate in the destruction of your own race?" The other being leaned over Dib, its three silvered eyes boring holes into his skull.
"Y-Yes, O Wise Ones. I assisted Soldier Gaz, whom I had adopted as a sibling while she served her mission, in destroying the humans. I felt that there was no good left in them and that the planet deserved a second chance at getting things right." Dib tried to draw himself up to his full height, but the incredibly tall beings before him dwarfed the human with effortless ease.
"Well. You are a traitor to your kind, then."
"No, O Wise One. I am sorry to contradict you, but this human was so deeply saddened by humanity's collapse into chaos that he felt it would be best to end the suffering of his fellow beings. I worked with this being and the two Irkens beside me to bring about the end of the age of humans."
"Irkens? HERE?" The taller being's eyes blazed a deep indigo. "How DARE you bring the scum into a sacred place?"
"With all due respect, O Wise Ones," Tak murmured soothingly, "My fellow Irken and I decided to work with Soldier Gaz of our own accord. We have both been banished from Irk, and a kind being took pity on us and allowed us to assist her in her mission. Do not be angry with Gaz. She only wished to help two beings in need."
The taller being was noticeably calmer following Tak's eloquent statement. It smiled, nodded, and extended a spidery hand in acceptance. Tak accepted it and bowed.
"I am Tak, O Wise Ones. My fellow Irken is Zim, and the human is Dib. The SIR units behind us are GIR and Mimi. It is a pleasure to be here."
"Thank you, Tak. Please excuse me, but Soldier Gaz and we have much to talk about. You and your friends are welcome to wait in the chambers behind the throne room, but we must speak with Gaz privately."
Tak bowed again and left, trailing her companions behind her.
"Down to business, then," chirped the lesser tall being as soon as the door hissed closed.
"Gaz, what is your report?"
"Ninety-eight percent of all human life destroyed, and not a hair or blade of grass more. My Earth sibling made sure that the bombs he detonated targeted only human DNA."
"Good, good. Now, I suppose we must reassign you. Give you new orders, that sort of thing. Miyuki?" The lesser tall being yawned. "What do we do with her?"
"Well, protocol says that she should destroy her companions, I suppose."
"SPORK!" snapped Miyuki. "Out of the question!"
"Yes, yes, I know. Perhaps she should monitor Earth's progress toward a new future."
"That sounds good. How about it, Gaz?"
"I like the idea. I just hope everyone will be willing to go along with it."
"I think they'll be more than happy to go back. If anything, they'll want to congratulate themselves on a job well done. Yes, that will be your new assignment. Keep in touch. We expect updates at least every six Earth months, if not more frequently. Understood?"
"Yes, O Wise Ones. I understand."
"Good. You're excused. By the way…" Spork smiled. "It really was nice to see you again."
"Same here, Spork." Gaz hugged her leaders and quickly went off to join her companions.
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"So what are we going to do, then?"
Zim looked at Gaz expectantly.
"We're heading back for Earth. My superiors want us to monitor the planet's progress and finish off any remaining troublesome humans." Gaz leaned back in her chair. "Everybody okay with that?"
"Yeah, of course." Dib grinned. "I'm actually looking forward to seeing what the planet comes up with."
"Why not? I'm getting bored here anyway." Tak yawned.
"Good, good. Perhaps the Tallest will hear of what we have done and reinstate me as an invader." Zim, ever the hopeful one, grinned at the thought.
"Let's just go, guys. See ya, Wolfie. Hope to be back soon."
"You're not even going to stay for a visit to the folks?"
"No, I'm sorry, but the sooner we leave, the better."
"Okay, then. See you around."
Gaz smiled and left, her companions trailing behind.
"Come on, guys. Let's go."
Miss Bitters wasn't human. That much was certain. No one could figure out how else she would have survived the bomb. Not when one had been detonated so close to the skool where she was teaching a class. Nothing could kill that crone.
At the moment, she was taking refuge in the basement, or at least, what HAD been the basement of the skool. With her were a few battered children and a strange assortment of ragged adults, mostly cartoonists. For some reason, the bombs hadn't affected the latter very much. At any rate, they were tired, hungry, and thoroughly sick of Miss Bitters' company.
"Good GOD, woman," cried one of the adults, a heavily tattooed man by the name of Roman, "Why don't you just DIE already?"
"Oh, like you couldn't have died yourself," snapped Bitters. "When I was a little girl-"
"SHUT UP!" screamed everyone else.
"You! Go catch something to eat!" Bitters ordered a small child.
"But-"
"NOW!"
The hapless girl ran off, her bare feet skittering over the rubble with an agility born of necessity. Bitters wasted no time watching her leave, instead ordering a trap to be laid to catch the child upon her return. Cannibalism was not beneath her, and it was no longer beneath her companions, as far as she was concerned.
"Hey, um, Bitters," stuttered another nameless adult. "Uh, couldn't we just catch a bunch of rats or something? I mean, they're all over the place. It wouldn't be that-"
-BOOM-
The nameless adult was now a pile of charred meat. Bitters devoured it in seconds, leaving her companions to catch the child, and left the refuge.
"Great. So we have to go back to that Godforsaken planet?" muttered Dib, methodically shredding a piece of paper.
"Yes, Dib, I'm afraid so. We have to check up on the planet, make sure nothing's out of order. You know, the like." Gaz stared out the window with a glazed expression on her face. "I'm almost looking forward to seeing it. Perhaps in the short time we've been gone, the remaining inhabitants have even begun to rebuild! Oh, that would be just LOVELY."
"I hate that miserable rock," growled Zim. "Why must we go back to it? I want to get in touch with the Tallest!"
"Later, Zim. First we have to see if there are any creatures who are trying to launch a counter-strike." Tak's matter-of-fact voice sounded tinny through the com link, but the effect did little to diminish the menacing quality of it.
"…Grr. Okay. Gir, get the ship ready for landing! I have some business to attend to."
Zim stalked off, left the room, and could be heard screaming from somewhere near the storage facility. He didn't return until the ship had already landed on the charred remains of the Skool.
As soon as they left the ship, swarms of angry humans swallowed the group. They clawed at them, screamed, and otherwise were very unpleasant.
"Uh…everything is okay here!" cried Gaz. "BACK TO THE SHIP!"
"Now what?" asked Zim's computer a time later.
"I say we head for Venus. You know, the people there are really quite nice. How do we all feel about Venus?" asked Gaz.
"Pretty good" was the general consensus.
And so they were off to Venus.
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a/n: um. I don't think I've posted this one before. If I have, let me know and ill remove the chappie. It was sposta go somewhere….after the second chapter of this fic, I think. Just think of it as a flashback….;;;
-raven-chan