The drive back home was filled with 'God was never on your side. Never, never, never!'

The throbbing in my head was just starting to recede and now this!

I mean, seriously Dean! I bitched to myself! There's no point in talking to him for changing the music. Over the years as I have tailed him like a puppy to a full-grown man-hound, I have learnt three things.

You don't mess with his music.

You don't mess with his pie.

And you don't mess with his Baby!

And with me I guess.

A soft chuckle escaped me and caught the attention of my rambunctious brother. Something about killing Weres and eating very unhealthy diner food makes him giddy.

He turned to me smiling with all his glorious blue teeth from eating the remnants of blueberry pie and asked, "What's funny?" Then immediately turned serious, "You okay?

I looked at him. My only kin. My best friend, my brother, a partner in crime. The only person who has been a witness to every twist and turn I made. Yeah, he's made his mistakes and so have I but we always came out the other side. Together.

And looking at him, I thought what would I have done if you were gone today huh! Instead, I said, "I'm good."

Dean continued chewing and said, "You don't look so good, man!"

I shouted, "Yeah because I got hit by a rotten chair on the head. Again!" I softened slightly as I saw the guilty look in his eyes, "Besides you checked me. Concussion free!" I flung my hands in the air as a gesture of hurrah.

Dean gulped down his food and said, "But you've got that face!"

"What face?"

"That face when I drink all the coffee and you have to leave your cocoon to buy more!"

"Don't even start about looks man! You have pie crumbs all over your face!" I asked incredulously and reached for one," Even in your hair dude!" And threw it away.

Dean started to smile knowingly.

"Worked? Didn't it?"

"What?"

"Whatever messed up curry you were cooking there", pointing towards my head, "didn't smell too good. And I stopped it before it overcooked and spilt and you would have shut down your kitchen!"

I smiled to myself and said, "Only you could associate a situation like this with food!" The smile never left but the neverending fear of losing him stayed. And it will forever.

Just then the lyrics of the song, "...only abandoned in the end" came floating through the radio.

I rolled my head, banged it on my window (didn't help with the headache though) and Dean turned into serious damage control/console Sammy mode. Like I am a baby. (Much later though, I concluded maybe I shouldn't have said that!")

"Listen to me, Sam!"

"Don't Dean." I raised my hand defeatedly and stopped him, "If making knee-jerk choices is your department then being hopelessly optimistic in crappy situations is kind of my forte!"

Dean huffed and grumbled, "And being a smartass!"

"I heard that!"

And he mimicked me in a mocking tone, "I heard that."

"Real mature Dean. Real mature"

He smirked, "Whatever…"

Silence followed us for some time just like it always does when we deal with our noises. Or is it Chuck's plotline too? Intervals between events. We're his favourite show, after all, I thought bitterly.

Killing Dean and leaving me all alone.

The attack from before was replaying in my mind over and over. It doesn't happen often. Dean has gotten hurt before or has been trapped and I have been worried too. Not to this degree though. Because now we know that Chuck was always the chess master and we're his pawns. Though everyone thinks that Dean's the protector, himself included, that he wouldn't survive to lose me. But Chuck knows better and so do I. Dean keeps me sane. But he's also the one I have to protect in order to protect me and others. My past can prove that.

The constant fear of losing him and dad drove me away from them firstly. Yes, I hated hunting. I still do at a certain level. It's not an adrenaline rush for me. It's my responsibility and purpose for being here. But without Dean… There's just no point. And Chuck knows it and if he uses it against us, we're done for.

I have always believed in God. But when the last threads of naivety left me, I knew that He had left us to our own devices a long time ago. But, I never thought of him as the cruel and uncaring monsters that we deal with every day. The only difference is He's like Tardigrades, never easy to kill.

My grimace must have been epic because Dean looked at me once, focused on the road again and said, "Are you hurting?"

I couldn't say that no I was comparing our scenario with video games. So I said, " No. But can you turn the volume down, please? I want to get some sleep."

"Sure!" He turned it down, looked at me again with concern. I, as usual, ignored his stare, folded my coat into a makeshift pillow and rested my head against the window.

I closed my eyes and cleared my thoughts about Chuck. We'll deal with him when the time comes. Maybe I lost my faith in Him but not in my family. With that conviction, I fell into a sweet slumber.

When I was jerked awake, we were at the side of the road, Dean was shaking me vigorously like a tambourine, and screaming in my ear. I couldn't understand a thing that he was saying. My perplexed eyes landed on him first and then on my bloody nails.

"What happened?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

"You tell me! You scared the bejeezus out of me! You were sleeping for like half an hour and the next thing I know you're murmuring something about failure, rocking, thrashing and scratching ears like there are ants in there biting you! Look what you did!"

His panicked eyes compelled me to touch my ears which came out bloody...

The ghost of the word failure reverberated through my mind like someone's whisper while the people I have failed so many times throughout the years lingered in my misty eyes… I left wondering whether it was Chuck projecting his thoughts again or it's my nightmare and the truth of my cruel joke of a life!

Note: Thank you so much to those who reviewed, followed or favourited the story. As you must know, they give the push when you need it the most. Thank you so much for reading. I am so grateful and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Have a great day/night. :)