The Spy
AN: As always, I make nothing from this endeavor and thank JKR for allowing us to play with her creations.
Two chapters in a week – we're on a roll folks!
Thank you so much to everyone who had read, reviewed, followed or favourited this story.
SS
They took the scenic route back to his house the following afternoon. Having to travel from Krakow to Prague, to Frankfurt and then to Reims, from where they were able to Apparate.
Earlier that day they had taken a short walk to the castle, after a late breakfast, where they had taken their time to wander around and even joined the guided tour. Hermione would have found it extremely interesting; under normal circumstances, but having barely slept, and being overcome by fear that he knew how she felt, she had struggled to enjoy it as much as she knew she should.
Snape didn't seem to have noticed and made conversation; commenting on this or that and making sure she was aware of the inanity of the questions that one of their follow tourists had been asking their guide. They'd stopped at a café for lunch and then to a souvenir shop where Hermione had bought a little fridge magnet of a picture of the city, as a keepsake.
"Thank you, so much so agreeing to the trip," she told him as they entered the courtyard of his home. "I know you were reluctant, but I want you to know that I had a really lovely time."
She noticed that he looked down at her curiously. "Did you enjoy it?" he asked, closing the gate behind them.
"Yes, of course," she replied, honestly, "very much."
"I am relieved that my lessons were so uninteresting to you that I had to take you over seven hundred miles, to keep you entertained."
Hermione laughed.
"My failure is amusing to you?"
"Yes, I find your failure extremely amusing, actually." More than you know.
He grunted and looked over to the manor house longingly, Hermione took that as a sign that he was probably ready to spend some time on his own.
"I think I'll go and lay down for a little sleep if you don't mind? All the walking and warm weather has made rather tired."
"You will come to the house for dinner?" he asked.
"Yes, of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I can't go and disappoint Gilmere on my last night here, can I?"
"Agreed," he nodded. "We can't have the house-elf upset now."
SS
Hermione ran up the stairs of the cottage, threw her bag on the bed and went to the bathroom to have a long cool shower. The weather had been glorious but travelling across central Europe in the heat had left her feeling uncomfortable and grubby.
The water was a refreshing and a catharsis as she processed the past week, her burgeoning feelings for her him, and the fact that she would be leaving in the morning. Truthfully, she had been reflecting often over the last couple of days over whether she was happy with her situation. She did enjoy her job and her prospects appeared to be excellent, even Kingsley had once told her that she would be Minister by the time she was forty if she wanted it enough.
Despite her professional success she admired much about the way that Snape… Severus lived; not so much his deliberate isolation, but his ability to do as he pleased. He had made the decision not to follow convention after years of not being given a choice. It made her feel a little lost and confused. Was she living life as she chose, or was she following the expected path? She enjoyed her job and the challenge it presented, she knew a life spent sitting in street cafes with a book would soon grow old, despite its short-term appeal.
Was her confusion brought on by her feelings for him? She tried to imagine telling him how she felt and ended up laughing aloud. He showed no sign of any attraction to her, and she would surely make a fool of herself. They were very different sorts of people despite their common interests, both stuck in their own ways.
"And pray tell, what do you expect me to do with this information, Miss Granger," he would say with a sneer.
But that didn't stop the wanting, no matter how she tried to make sense of it. He was interesting, articulate, challenging, intelligent and dare she admit, attractive. It was a heady blend indeed. She fantasised about what it would be like to kiss him, how she might touch him, how he would touch her… to be on the receiving end of his intensity. She couldn't help but groan aloud at the prospect.
Stepping out of the shower wrapping a towel around herself, she wondered what he was doing now. Was he also freshening up after their travels? Perhaps he was also standing in his bathroom wrapped in only a towel. She laughed. For someone who had been so asexual to her for so long, he was certainly making up for lost time.
Not that any of it mattered, at the end of the day it was only a fantasy, and she knew that fantasy was seldom based on reality. The sooner she accepted that nothing was ever going to happen between them, the better.
Hermione sat on the end of the bed and sorted through the pile of books she had borrowed from his library. It was a shame to have to return them so soon; she'd had so little time to read through the interesting chapters. Perhaps she would ask Flourish and Blotts to order the wizarding titles if they were still in print.
SS
Hermione followed Gilmere to the dining room with butterflies of anticipation in her stomach. This would be the last time they would sit and have dinner together and she was determined to enjoy the evening. A few waves of her wand and she had altered her pale-yellow summer dress into a figure-hugging knee-length black dress, which she hoped said 'sophistication' and not 'desperation'.
She wasn't prepared for the way her breath left her lungs when she entered the dining room and he had turned around. Apparently, she hadn't been the only one to make a little extra effort for their final evening together. He was subtle, she would give him that; the burgundy waistcoat and cravat set against the black of his shirt and trousers, was striking.
"Well, look at you." He said, eyebrow arched.
How generous of him to have noticed. "Yes, look at me," she smiled, giving him a little twirl. "Just something I threw together."
"I hope you don't mind; I took the liberty of putting in a request for dinner."
"No, not at all, what are we having?" Hermione asked, as she took her seat.
Snape also sat down. "As much I as I have enjoyed our culinary conquests this week, I have a strong desire for some comfort food."
Before Hermione could ask what he considered to be comfort food, Gilmere arrived with his trolley, looking decidedly put out. The elf placed two large cloche-covered plates on the table with none of the care he had in the past.
"Enjoy,' he grumbled insincerely, before pushing the trolley out of the room.
Snape smirked.
"I take it that Gilmere doesn't approve of whatever is concealed on those plates?"
"I'm afraid not, he replied, with mock regret. "I fear I have really disappointed him this time."
He lifted the cloches to reveal two fish and chip suppers, which had obviously been procured from a fish and chip shop. The large pieces of fish were covered in crispy golden brown better and the chips, piled in the middle of the plate, looked delightfully soggy.
Hermione let out a little shriek of delight.
"I sent him to Folkestone when we got back this afternoon," he confessed. 'I take it you approve?"
"Of course I approve… I haven't had fish and chips for ages!"
Snape served them both before they tucked in eagerly.
"This is probably the most elaborate setting in which I have eaten fish and chips," she confessed. "Most of the time I am sitting on my settee in my pyjamas with my dinner on a tray on my lap, watching some terrible docusoap."
"Well, I'm afraid, as you have already noted, I do not own a television, but I am glad to continue to add to your many notable life experiences. You may add, the eating a fish supper upon a fine china dinner service with silverware, to your list."
He didn't know how inadvertently romantic she found the gesture. Whilst he was probably just fed up with Gilmere's extravagance, which he had already hinted at earlier in the week, she felt her heart swell with affection.
"Are you due back at work on Monday?" Snape asked, casually, seemingly unaware of what she had been thinking.
"Yes, no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid. I have avoided looking at my diary, but I seem to remember that I have a day full of meetings ahead of me. The next week I am going to Australia. I want to see my parents and it just so happens that it's my turn to visit the Australian Minister.
"How long will you be gone?"
Hermione delighted at his curiosity and had to remind herself that he was just being polite and making dinner conversation.
"Only a week. I'll see have meetings at the Australian Ministry for the first few days, but I'll try and arrange dinner with my parents. As they think I work for the Foreign Office, so it's easy enough to make an excuse to be in the country and isn't that far from the truth anyway."
"You have never given thought to moving over there?" Snape asked, pushing a chip onto his silver fork.
Hermione shook her head and took a sip of her wine. "No, I don't think there is much point unless their memories returned. I am nothing more than an acquaintance they met on holiday, so it's not like we would suddenly be best friends if I happened to move over there."
Snape nodded his understanding.
"Anyway, my life is in London. I have my job, my friends, it wouldn't make sense to move and give all of that up for some sort of fantasy of a life."
"Quite right," he replied. "Chasing dreams is often more fun on theory than in practice. There's no point in torturing oneself."
Hermione coughed violently as she almost choked on her cod. Hadn't he just outlined the utter futility of her situation. It was remarkably sobering and painful at the same time.
"Are you quite alright, can I get you a glass of water?" he asked, already reaching for a glass.
She flapped her hands around to indicate that she was okay. "No, thank you," she croaked. "Wrong pipe."
"If you are sure." Snape set the glass down next to her plate.
"That's enough about me, tell me more about Dubrovnik."
"They're just the preliminary rounds of the European Championships. I don't expect to be challenged, unless I am drawn against Radkov, so we'll see. He is my nemesis as it were, we've dueled each other in the last five championship finals, and I have won the last three. Once I had the measure of him, I was able to get the upper hand, but I have no doubt he will be out for revenge."
"Well, if what I experienced earlier the week is anything to go by, he doesn't stand a chance."
Snape smiled with his eyes. "We shall have to see. He is ten years my junior so there will come a time when he will best me again, or perhaps I will need to contemplate retirement before that happens."
"Goodness, retirement, that seems a long way off as yet, isn't it?"
"I would rather quit the circuit on top, so I don't think too far ahead. I am sure I will know when the time is right."
"Perhaps you can become a full-time coach?"
"I'm not good enough at that by all accounts, my students leave after just a few days," he teased. "And you know as well as I, that teaching is not particularly my forte."
"Perhaps Minerva would have you back?" Hermione jokingly suggested.
'Merlin forbid," he grumbled. "Do you mind, I am trying to enjoy my meal."
SS
After dinner she had followed him the library where she returned the books she had borrowed, and they enjoyed a few games of whist and he persuaded her to try glass of cognac. All too soon she found herself making the walk across the courtyard to the cottage. By the time she had climbed the stairs to the bedroom she was in tears. How could she have allowed herself to fall so hard, when she had known from the beginning, that nothing could ever happen?
They had arranged to meet at quarter to eleven the following morning, so he could walk her down the road to the portkey back to London. It had been the longest and shortest walk of her life. With every step she tried to think of a way to give him a hint of her interest which wouldn't leave her open and exposed to the rejection she was certain she would receive in return. Hadn't he just said at dinner the night before that chasing a dream was torture. It certainly felt like it.
"You're very quiet this morning," he observed as they scrolled down the track.
"I suppose I am just thinking about going back to work tomorrow. "You know what it's like when you've had time away, you enjoy the change and you're reluctant to go back."
"Yes, I understand."
"I wish you luck in Dubrovnik, not that I think you'll need it," said Hermione, keen to change the subject. "I'm sure you'll do very well."
"Thank you. If I am successful, I will be journeying on to Vienna in August."
"Sounds wonderful."
"I don't get much of an opportunity to see the city, well, not unless I am knocked out early, of course.
They reached the old disused wine barrel, which served as the portkey back to London.
"What's the time?" Hermione asked.
Snape pulled a pocket watch out of his waistcoat pocket. "Almost eleven, you'd best get ready."
Hermione moved to stand next to the barrel before turning to drink him in, one last time. She tried to memorize his dark eyes, his angular features, and his concerned expression.
"Are you sure you are quite well?" Snape asked.
"Yes, fine. I just wanted to thank you again." Hermione swallowed down the forming lump in her throat. "I really have had such a lovely time. It was so kind of you to take me out on our little adventures and share your library with me." She placed her hand on the edge of the barrel.
Hermione landed in the alley just a few minutes' walk from her flat, in emotional turmoil. How was it that she was supposed to be a brave Gryffindor, yet she couldn't talk to him about her feelings? She walked back to her flat, stopping at the corner shop for milk, determined not to cry over it all, yet again. By the time she got home she was irrationally angry with whomever had sent her there. How dare they unsettle her whole life for some practical joke.
SS
Naturally she spent the next week fighting the urge to write to him, but rationalised that he wasn't at home anyway and she was travelling to Australia the following week, it just wouldn't work. Everyone in her office was constantly asking her if she was okay, and by the time she got home on Friday she was just about ready to brick up her door so she wouldn't have to answer the question for a millionth time.
Fortunately her week in Sydney offered just the type of distraction she needed, she arranged to have dinner with the Wilkens' on the Thursday evening at a seafood restaurant not too far from the Opera House.
"Hermione, it's so good to see you again, it been too long," enthused Monika Wilkens. "Doesn't she look well, Wendell?"
"Indeed she does, welcome back to Sydney. How's the Foreign Office, treating you?"
"Oh, it's good. My meetings have gone well this week, so I can't ask for much more than that now, can I?"
Her parents nodded enthusiastically as they made their way into the restaurant.
Hermione had thought she had come to terms with what her parents' situation, but now that she felt emotionally vulnerable, she keenly felt the loss and wished she could talk to Monika Wilkens as she would have with her mum for some motherly advice.
Since the end of war she had taken to speaking to Molly or Minerva, but it just didn't feel right with her previous relationship with Molly's son and Minerva's relatively close friendship with Snape.
Pouring her heart out to her holiday acquaintances, née parents, was equally inappropriate. Instead she concentrated on enjoying their time together and focused the conversation, on their anecdotes concerning dentistry, Wendell's newly discovered love of cycling and their four-month-old Labrador puppy, which they had called Harry.
SS
"So, come on, Hermione, spill. How was it with Snape?" Ginny asked, while rummaging through the brown paper bag she had brought with her to Hermione's flat, containing their takeaway.
"Oh, you know, it was fine."
Ginny stopped looking for the saag paneer and stared at her across the kitchen. "Fine?" she questioned. "What did he do to you? There is no way you could have gone over there for a whole week and come back to describe the whole experience as 'fine', tell me what happened. Are you okay? Was he appalling?"
"It was fine. He gave me the lessons, it was fine."
Ginny looked at her incredulously. "Hermione, what did that arsehole do?"
Hermione shook her head, trying her best not to get upset.
Immediately Ginny has moved to console her friend. "Do I need to ask Harry to go over there and have a word?"
"No, please, no. It's not like that, Gin" she sniffed.
"Has something else happened? Are your parents, okay?"
Hermione plucked a tissue from the box on the kitchen windowsill and wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath to compose herself.
"My parents are fine, they have a puppy they have named, Harry."
Ginny laughed, "Well, I wonder if that's a sign they have subconsciously remembered a few things?"
"I'll look into that if they name their next one Hermione or Ronald." Hermione smiled wanly. "Look, if I tell you this, you are sworn to secrecy, I don't want it to go any further, especially not to Harry."
"Of course, my word." Ginny looked extremely concerned. "Now I am really worried about you."
"Let's get dinner, then I'll explain everything, but it's nothing to worry about, I assure you."
Plates loaded with dhansak, saag paneer and a garlic naan they sat on the sofa; Hermione poured them both a glass of wine and took a deep breath.
"I still don't know who put my name down at the auction, and Snape didn't either. He has the most picturesque house near Epernay, with a little guest cottage." Hermione slipped a piece of naan through the saag paneer and took a bite. "I don't really know where to start."
"Good grief, what happened?"
"Nothing all that dramatic."
"Well it's enough for you get upset in the middle of your kitchen and swear me to some sort of secrecy pact," said Ginny, reaching for her wine glass.
"He was kind, if a little irritable on occasion. You know how he can be sometimes."
"Don't I just. You weren't there when he was Headmaster."
Hermione closed her eyes. "Please, Gin." She implored. "Let me explain."
"The first could of days held the lessons twice a day. He is still very meticulous, by the way. In the evenings we had dinner at his house and spent the rest of the evening his library."
Ginny smirked. "He knows how to seduce you, doesn't he?" Ginny lowered her voice in a poor imitation of the man himself. "Why Miss Granger, won't you come and inspect my shelves."
"Gin, please!"
"Oh, my goodness, he did, didn't he?" Ginny cried. "You slept with him!"
"I didn't sleep with him," Hermione shouted. "Will you just listen."
Chastened, Ginny apologised.
"It wasn't long before I got a little fed up with having the lessons, even though I did try to get into it, honestly, I did. I managed to persuade him to go to lunch in town and then we went on a tour of one of the champagne houses and before I knew it, we were catching a portkey to Krakow."
"What were you doing in Krakow?" Ginny looked confused. "Did he have a tournament?"
"Ginny!"
"Sorry."
"We only stayed the one night, but he took me to the wizarding district, and we had a lovely meal. I realised that evening that I… I…" Hermione took a sizable gulp of her wine. "I realised I had... I have, feelings for him."
Ginny paused mid-chew, eyes wide, as if she had just been told she was pregnant with triplets.
"Please don't make a big deal about it. I'll move on, but I just wanted you to know that's why I am a little out of sorts right now."
"Hermione, this is huge." Ginny cried. "Does he know?"
"Of course he doesn't know! As if I could tell him something like that. It would be humiliating. I had to spend the last day and a half in constant fear that he would find out or suspect something. It was a bit of a relief to get home."
"Hermione, I think you should tell him. You have nothing to lose."
"Just my dignity," she huffed.
"If he is deserving of your feelings for him then he won't do that, Hermione. I know he can be a snarky bastard, but if you don't tell him, you'll never know if it could have worked."
Hermione pushed a piece of lamb across her plate with her fork, deep in thought.
"Hang on a minute…he's not single, is he? He's with that blonde veela from the Ministry auction."
"Actually, he is single," she smiled, sadly. "That woman was a cousin of Lucius Malfoy, or something. Very wealthy, apparently and Severus was just doing Lucius a favour in bringing her with him."
"Well there you go, there nothing stopping you." Ginny said, triumphantly.
"Have you thought any more on who paid for those lessons?" Hermione asked.
"It's been driving Harry and I mad trying to think, but Kingsley won't say anything, even though Harry tried to get it out of him."
"Does Kingsley know?"
"I honestly have no idea. Someone has to know something unless there are Obliviates flying around."
Hermione nodded her agreement. "I know you really want me to just go and tell him, but I was thinking of going to see Minerva."
'Why?" asked Ginny. "What does she know?"
"Nothing, other than she does give very sound advice and I could do with a motherly figure right now. She knows him well… which put me off at first but maybe she could tell me whether there is any point in speaking to him about it. She's known him almost all his life, after all."
"If you think it will give you a plan, then I'm all for it.
SS
"Good morning, Hermione, how are you today?" Minerva asked, "please come in and take a seat, you know the routine by now. I've got tea coming, it shouldn't be long."
Hermione sat in her usual seat in the corner of Minerva's office, next to the fireplace, and looked up suspiciously at all the portraits gazing down upon them.
"I was hoping we'd have a little privacy," she whispered.
"Och, I wouldn't worry about them, they are sworn to secrecy. There's not been a head of this school who hasn't been served well by these fine wizard's and witches."
One of the Hogwarts house-elves came in with the tea and laid the cups, saucers, teapot, and biscuits upon the little table that separated Hermione from her mentor.
"Well, it is a little personal and I really don't want any of this conversation to go beyond this room, if that's okay."
"You have my word," promised the headmistress, placing her palm over her heart. "Now, my girl, what has happened?"
Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, I followed your advice and went to France for those dueling lessons with… Severus.
"You did?" Minerva asked, excitedly. "And how did you get on?"
"It was fine… good," she corrected. "He is a very detail-oriented person. I hadn't expected my first lesson to be entirely focussed on my comportment."
Minerva chuckled. "He certainly hasn't changed much in that respect." She poured them both a cup of tea and place a bourbon biscuit on Hermione's saucer which immediately reminded her of the man in question.
"The trouble was my heart wasn't really in it and I was looking for other things to do after the first few days."
"Oh no, you didn't give up and leave, did you?!"
"Pardon?" Hermione frowned. "No, I didn't leave, I ended up persuading him to take me on a couple of little outings and then I felt emboldened, and to cut a long story short, we ended up in Krakow."
"Poland? My, my, how exciting!" Minerva sipped at her tea; her eyes wide with anticipation. "Tell me more, I've heard it's a beautiful country."
"It was only for a night, but we had dinner and visited the castle. It was really lovely, and I would dearly like to go back again, one day."
"It certainly sounds as if you got on well; especially, if you're traveling across Europe together."
"That's the thing, I need to talk to you about. Well, ask your advice really, as someone who knows him fairly well."
"Go on…" Minerva looked at her intently.
Hermione took a deep breath. "How do you feel he would take it, if I happened to tell him… that I had feelings for him."
Hermione almost dropped her cup and saucer as the headmistress shrieked in delight. "Oh, my girl, you must tell him. He's such a wonderful man deep down and I think you'd make the most wonderful couple. This is marvellous news."
She was more than a little taken aback at Minerva's reaction; she had expected to have to justify herself, not to suddenly contemplate the possibility of becoming a couple. They'd jumped about ten steps into the future. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it, but to hear someone else say it aloud, it was sobering and real.
"I don't even know if he's interested in me," she protested.
"Och, well… of course," Minerva composed herself. "But you simply must go and tell him."
"You're very certain of this… has he said something?" Hermione asked, suspiciously. "I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
"No, I haven't spoken to him," she replied. "But I know him, and I know you, and you're both so perfect for each other. Hermione, he lives in that house on his own; don't get me wrong, I know he's accepted… even happy, with how everything has turned out, but that doesn't mean he isn't the same as everyone else… to want share life with another person."
"If he wants that then why isn't he making an effort? Minerva, he could have just about any witch on continental Europe, if he was looking for a relationship."
"I'm not saying that he isn't out there trying to meet someone, but they won't understand him like you would."
Hermione frowned. "I'm only a former student, I don't know why I would understand him any more than anyone else."
"Look, you asked for my advice, and I am giving it." Clearly exasperated, she set her cup down on to the table. "If you are serious about how you feel then you have nothing to lose, and I think that he deserves to know that somewhere out there is someone who cares about him and sees him as a romantic prospect."
"A romantic prospect…" she began, skeptically. "You honestly think he would be receptive?"
The headmistress offered her another biscuit. "Hermione, he's just a man, don't make it more difficult than it needs to be. You're attracted to him, and he obviously enjoys spending time with you, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't see what happens."
SS