a/n So I've been trying to write and get better at writing and I've written a couple things and hop around between them when I feel like writing this is one of my earliest attempts, but it's fun to write, just like it's fun to write pretty much any Naruto stuff but I'm also trying to write some of my own books, I've got two I'm working on not that it matters. but mainly this is to try and get better at a skill in general so with that in mind I hope you enjoy!
So I've never really enjoyed life all that much, it's been rather droll and boring, never really been Uber excited about just living, had a few flings loved a few girls, it's never really felt real, just like I've been faking it, faking going along through life trying to understand why my emotions don't feel like they are in my control. so color me surprised when I died
It was a relatively pleasant afternoon I guess, went to work, started the drive home got to the turn out of the parking lot and decided that instead of usually taking a right to pull a u turn at the light I would turn left through four lanes of traffic…..you get where I'm going with this. Got rammed by a Toyota Tacoma going 90 in a 55 dude was obviously on some drugs since as my soul was floating there just waiting, the man just jumped out of the absolute wreckage of my civic and his truck and ran around screaming like a loon. Or shock I suppose, that is a hellava drug too.
Anyway I was just kinda floating, chilling. I didn't really feel much as the spike of metal from the trucks front guard speared through my brain rather instantaneously so the dying part wasnt too bad. Hanging out on the side of the road watching cars drive by and the ambulance and fire fighters try to get me out. It was all rather surreal. After a few hours the cars are towed and I'm left with nothing but traffic. "Well what's next?" I ask aloud
"I'M glad you asked!" Said a scraggly voice
Turning I see a little black cat with wings
"Oh hello there, are you death?" I ask as I pet the lovely little thing
"SORTA" purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"Oh good" we continue on like that for awhile just happy to pet a cat and a cat happy to be pet
"Well that was nice! Had a really bad itch, thanks! That's one less trip to the groomers for me" squeaked the cat
"Lovely, it was really relaxing for me too " I Say with a calm smile
"Welp moving on, so you died and really the next step is just to figure out what you'd like to do, the options are relatively limitless as there are limitless universes and all that jazz. SO! what you feeling up for the next run around the bend?" Death incarnate finished with a squeak
"Well I would like to be reincarnated somewhere but with my memories of this life, and maybe with a gaming system for my life to keep me motivated? Maybe a slow grindy work hard to get strong kinda situation. OH! And a way to control my emotions please? Oooooooh wait can it be the fictional world of say Naruto?" I exclaimed, quite frankly
"SURE! it's your afterlife after all! If you die you get a visit from one of us again but you only get the memories every other life as we don't want the soul to get too strained y'know" "you don't get a tutorial or inventory but you get to grow and watch your progress on just a basic stats screen there are some perks with it too to give you an added boost ;) " Meowed the menacing god
"Wait how did you 'say' that face?"
And then I knew no more
Next thing I knew it was moist
Ew such an awful word but so apt for this feeling. The mushy wet pressing down from all sides. like I'm being squeezed through a slimy tube, which as a matter of fact...I was thank you. y'know a vagina.
Gross
I am not ashamed to say I screamed the second I got outta that one
I couldn't see shit, but I felt hands grab me and pull me to freedom while I screamed in righteous indignation at my shame and horror..ew
I could hear though so that was nice, of course it was japanese, being a southern American certainly didn't help with that situation.
Over the next few days I was stuck in darkness and occasional meals of somebodies milk, mans gotta eat. just hearing a bunch of stuff like Yondaime, Hokage and blah blah blah. Of course I didn't understand much I watched Naruto in my youth and was a fan of anime when I was younger. but fuck if I didn't remember much of japanese.
Time passed kinda slow, after a few more days I finally got to see, turns out I'm an orphan. Sucks to suck but whatever, the matron was nice. They didn't really explain how I was born or by who but I can ask later when I figure out this mumbo jumbo.
The baby orphan room was similar to a regular nursery. baby cribs all around bunch of crying babies around. snores and poop smells. y'know the whole nine yards, oh and for some reason the there was shuriken wallpaper. " Gaba ar oung" I ogga babied ("gotta start em young") on the brain washing
So I vaguely remember that children don't get chakra coils developed to a usable level till about 3 but since I've got some kinda system I'll try this stuff out asap
"Buuga wuuuuhaaaagaaaa WAAAAA"
1 CHA
What...that stopped my crying immediately (I fell trying to climb out of the crib)
Why the hell would that give me charisma?
…...I'm being watched aren't I? Oh man someone must've thought I was cute or something
Oh yeah!
Stats
Name: Fred
Health: You're breathing buddy
Chakra: Undeveloped Coils Countdown: 2 years 345 days
Strength: .01
Dexterity: .001
Intelligence: 10
Wisdom: 10
Charisma:11
Chakra Control: Ain't got it bud
Perks:
Emotion control: Always able to understand and control your emotions
well damn that's alright I guess it seems 10 is average everyday dude and I suppose I start with average CHA because I'm a baby and no one really knows what I'll look like later
Well with that interesting information I might as well do something other than lay here…..oh shit I'm tired
Next day
UUUUUGH I wanted to do some kinda training dammit
I was woken up by one of the matrons, there were three that I knew of, Tiana, Beatrice, and Mikoto. If you couldn't tell I don't know two of their names. I just know the last one because the other two yelled at her for dropping a blonde baby, not sure who that guy was but I'm sure he will have some problems later
Anyway Tiana was feeding me from a bottle rocking me in a chair since it was my turn, when suddenly the door next to her opens and some burly civilians come in carrying a massive mirror asking her a question.
Well thats what I look like as a baby I guess
Dirty blonde, more brown then blonde, grey eyes. Simple, not anything I'm unfamiliar with, kinda chubby like most kids my age but I seem to have a pretty balanced face
Kinda generic actually, maybe that's the CHA stat at work.
They ask her something about the mirror obviously and she points them down the hall.
A few hours later I'm back in my crib trying to figure out what I should do.
Well I'll do something I guess, I've never been a big fan of ignoring any stat in games especially RPGs as you get kinda fucked later on when you need that stat for something. Might as well try and figure out how to level up my physical stuff, even though I'm a babay
1 Wis
Oh neat
Rolling around and trying to climb out of the crib seemed to do the trick, as I slowly bring my Str and Dex up to a 1 about three days later.
Of course it kinda weirded out Mikoto when I hung onto her for dear life when she fed me. Guess she didn't expect me to remember mr blonde over there chewing on a spoon, don't know where he got the spoon from.
But hey that tipped me over the edge into a full tenth of the Str and Dex of a normal person, Wohoooo thanks clumsy matron for making me fear for my second life
For the next few months that's pretty much my routine, eating, rolling around, trying to climb until one day, I got out of the crib.
I fell and landed exactly like mr blonde.
Fuuuuuuck my head
The pain was rather searing. The kinda white pain that blocks everything out y'know
I didn't even notice that I was already back in my crib till a few minutes later
Well I guess I'll check my health
OH! that's nifty I can just think the thing I want to lookup about myself without having to pull up the whole stats sheet
Health: You may have brain damage but you'll get better
'Oh that's good, I'm glad it's nothing permanent' I think as I eye the blondes crib
I'm still not sure if thats Naruto but it might be considering Cannon
A few more months go by and then it happens.
The earth shakes and the whole room is vibrating, and a primal fear I don't understand grips me to the point I can't move.
Guess that blonde ain't Naruto.
--Break--
Well I'm about 6 months old, finally got walking down and boy was that a surprise for Mikoto, she set me down on the floor so I could try and crawl and I stood right up by myself with my badass Dex of 4 and walked right to her with the swagger of an exaggerated baby….and then she laughed and had me do it till I got tired. Well at least I can make the loose end of the matrons laugh, I still haven't figured out the others names but I've gotten most of the lingo down so I can at least understand people. Can't speak yet, my mouth doesn't want to do it. I said Tiana one day and the woman just ignored me thinking it was baby talk. THE NERVE it was my first word thank you very much!
Eh it's probably for the best, I can't exactly practice because I know I've been watched at night by my mysterious baby picker upper and I don't wanna be a Root snatched robot thank you.
Because of course most babies don't start basic words till 12-18 months so I just rolled around and practiced gripping stuff and trying to climb without hurting myself like a normal crazy baby.
And that's pretty much how it went for the reminder of time till I was put into a normal bed with the other kids when I was three.
I don't know why they waited that long but I'm sure it has something to do with watching the ones who now could have access to chakra in one place. So I did what any self respecting fool did with the possibility of being caught but also wanting magic bullshit powers and meditated when I was taking a shit
Whelp turns out I got something
Chakra: Youve got more than the average 3 year old.
Chakra Control: You meditated once fool
More than average! Yaaay probably not even close to itachi or…..the….blonde?
Why was Naruto sliding under the stall door?
"Hey uhhh what you doing?"
"Hiding dattebyo" he shushes me back
The dude is Two and wearing an orange shirt and blue shorts also has some dirt on his face
"From what?" I whisper not even bothering to pull up my pants as my dignity is already beyond all reasonable recovery
"Death"
Well with that serious discussion out of the way I commence to nod and wipe my ass while he hides there acting like an action hero against the door.
After I finish up I tap him on the shoulder and motion him aside so I can leave, he nods looks me in the eye makes some kinda handsign and says
"You saw nothing"
I nod sagely and leave trying to find my dignity at the sinks
Maybe it's in my stats?
Health: You're breathing kid….
Chakra: you've got more than your average three year old
Str: 10
Dex: 10
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Charisma: 13
As I leave the restroom pondering my stats a Matron I haven't seen stops me and asks "hey you, you see a small blonde in an orange shirt in there?" "No Ma'am" I reply as I continue on my way
It seems over the past few months that my stats increase dependant on what I'm doing, which seems pretty straight forward, I get wisdom from making smart decisions, reading philosophy and arguing. It was MY toy kunai you stupid blonde. I got a peak while Tiana was reading something from a Sho Chi? Idk it was thought stuff about the cycle of violence. Intelligence from more information and memorizing things. Dexterity from balancing and just generally being nimble and quick. Strength from picking up things, including myself, and good ol cardio. Charisma was weird though it seems I gained Charisma when I did things that were "cute" or that people found attractive in some way shape or form. I did NOT want that point I got for bending over to pick up that ball we threw over the fence thank you very much pedo bastard. But it also seems to have diminishing returns and it doesn't make people just instantly like me or anything seems a more "realistic" approach. I get more refined the higher the stat but people still have to make their own opinions of me when we first meet. And the more times I make a good first impression the more my stat ticks up.
I don't know about perks to be honest
Death wasn't very specific
Basically I've just been trying to play with the other kids and blend in as much as I can I still act weird to them and the matrons but they just seem to brush it off as my personality now, thank god.
A Blonde and orange bullet shot by me with the matron close behind. I stop, hand to my chin "well maybe I can do something else"
--Break--
Finding Naruto after that really wasn't all that hard.
I just wandered the halls looking for either orange or that Matron, lo and behold I found orange first, I was wandering around the playground area between the buildings as I had no luck in my nursery and current barracks.
Before explaining the current situation one must know that I don't really intend to make Naruto my friend but I would rather he think of me fondly. But knowing him that's likely not how it's going to play out, anywho
I was just passing through the ninja themed playground when I saw him sitting on a swing of all things looking quite morose, well considering his obsession with swings I guess it makes sense
"Do swings make you sad?" I ask with a hint of snark
Wiping a tear from his eye "wh...what?"
"Well you're crying on a swing, do swings make you sad?" I dead pan
"I WASN'T CRYING" HE EXCLAIMS
"Yeah those definitely were not tears you just wiped off your eyes, no sir" I deadpannier
"I WASN'T, WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?!"
"Fred" "what's your name Mr Orange babay?"
"NARUTO UZUMAKI, FUTURE HOKAGE, BELIEVE IT!" he screams standing up taking a fighting pose quite angrily
Oh man did I make him mad?
"What do you want?!"
"Oh uhh idk I guess I just wanted to speak to you since you kinda got a little too chummy with me in the toilet the other day"
"Ooooh that was you?"
"Yep"
"Well I guess that makes sense….. you're weird ain't ya?" He asks questioningly
"Yep"
"Well do you want to swing with me?" He asks hopefully
"Eh sure why not"
Sitting with him was a quiet affair, the boy had a big goofy grin on his wiskered face the whole time we swung back and forth, I kept my features cooled with a small smile. While thinking about what I want to do here in this world.
Well I could try and become hokage, but that's Naruto's thing so nah, and the responsibility kinda sucks. Well I should get as strong as I can so I don't have to give a fuck about any of the big bads around like madara or really any akatsuki.
"Hey Fred what are you going to be when you grow up?"
"A ninja, why?"
He gets a big grin "You better not become something stupid like a baker my first friend had better be AT LEAST a jonin…."
"Wait I'm your friend? All we did was quietly swing on the depression swings"
"YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU ARE"
"how do you even know that word, you're like 2 and a half…….."
"You're not Naruto are you?"
"Nope"
Exasperated "Then who are you?"
"Mikoto"
"Why and how do you look like Naruto?"
"Because you've been acting pretty strange for quite awhile and the Academy wanted to vet you to make sure you wouldn't be a harm to the village"
"Didn't you drop that baby? And again how do you look like Naruto?"
She (who looks like Naruto still) pulled out a note pad and writes down something while muttering
"Apparently... remembers god forsaken infancy…"
Ah shit
She stops writing
"Well as you obviously are much smarter than you are acting we will be placing you in the accelerated ninja program. Since you've made it known to a school official, I.E me, that you wish to be a Ninja. Congratulations, you have 30 minutes to pack your stuff and I will pick you up from your bunk and take you to your new building and Life!"
Ah shit
Well, Whatever
--break--
Mikoto seems to have it out for me.
She didn't give me 5 minutes till she was at my bunk and dragging me through the halls by the scruff of my white shirt, heck I had to drop my favorite pencil to keep my blue shorts up. She dragged me straight out of the orphanage down the street and plopped my little butt right on the porch of a relatively nice apartment building
Actually now that I think about it technology here is kinda weird, like we have toilets and hot showers, ovens, fridges, TVs with only VHS, and relatively modern buildings ,still got that weird konoha style y'know but pretty modern. Just no phones in general, and no toasters either, like what's up with that? What kinda AU did the cats make that doesn't have toasters?
Oh shit Mikoto was talking
"And you're expected to feed yourself, clothe yourself and find a hobby in your two free hours a day, is that clear runt?"
"Uh no I missed half of that"
"Well too bad, if you're such a genius you should've been paying attention, you'll figure it out tomorrow morning anyway, don't be late."
"When's late?" But she was already gone
Shit
Deciding that going inside and asking somebody where my room is, is at least a first step too answer all the crap I missed, stupid only able to focus on one task at a time madness. As I walk through the polished oak door the lobby is pretty standard fare for a decent but cheap hotel, a couple comfy looking seats, a red carpet and a front counter with a bored black haired teen with a hitai-ate around his neck flipping through a magazine.
"Excuse me but I've been dropped here by Mikoto and I'm guessing that I'll be living here now? Where do I sleep?"
"Room 486" he says pointing to a key on the counter
"Thanks! Uhh what's the schedule around here anyway?"
He gives me a bored look "just get up at 5am and follow the others"
Ooooookay then. I take the key, nod and move down the hall towards the stairs. Each door is the same grey slab as the next with numbers next to the knob
Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor I realize how glad I am that I didn't try and hide anything aside from meditation. This is a village of ninjas they've got security everywhere and every little strange or worrying thing will be found, I've always found those reborn stories where they hide their strength to be silly. Like ninja who you CANT SEE wouldn't notice you talking weird or the people that RAISED YOU wouldn't see that you talk differently (or something) than other kids and tell someone so then they would monitor you. Like come on your lazy modern ass can't see these fuckers.
Personally I plan on being a tank. With some stealth of course that's required after all. But not being able to take damage sounds like the best option. I just hope to the death Cats I have Earth as my element.
Stats
Health: You're breathing kid….
Chakra: you've got more than your average three year old
Str: 10
Dex: 10
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Charisma: 13
Aww they didn't answer my prayer. Guess I'll just have to find some chakra paper, I'll figure it out.
Finally reaching my room the inside seems really spartan, heck it's a studio, I've got a bed at the back wall under the window a bathroom to the left of the front door and a small kitchenette opposite the bathroom, with a closet on the wall behind the bathroom. Blue carpet though! A nice change from the red.
There was also a note on the bed.
"Hey dumbass, Don't tell anyone I dropped that kid if you value your balls, but to reiterate what I said earlier. Morning PT is at 5 since you're only three you just do the runs and stretches, no weights yet or you will stunt your growth but thats up to you. At 7 you'll have lecture on ninja tools, history, Will of Fire, chakra and chakra usage, and of course Laws and regulations. These will be different classes setup in one hour intervals and between each hour you will be swapping back and forth between combat form training and sparing with other students and sensei's for an hour then back to class. At 2pm you stop and do afternoon PT then you have break untill evening PT at 6pm. All of your fellow students are in the Genin Corps, you are not, you have three months to pass the Genin test or the council may vote to have you killed. They will provide food for lunch but you are expected to clothe, feed and fend for yourself otherwise
Remember. Your. Balls"
This sounds like a living hell.
Killed?! Fuuuuuuck why did I forget that this world is a military distopia with magic bullshit. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy did I pick Narutoooo.
After my mental freakout I decide to get to it, dropping to the ground and doing push-ups over and over and over again. When I got here it was about two in the afternoon. By the time I've finished my push-ups on the carpet it's dark out and the floor is soaked in my desperate sweat. Grabbing some more water then hitting the shower I take a look at my stats
Health: You're arms are torn to shreds
Chakra: you've got more than your average three year old
Str: 11
Dex: 10
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Charisma: 13
I got the tick for one more STR after about two hours of push ups, Then again that was the accumulation of about two months of running everyday for about 2 miles and climbing the jungle gym with the other kids playing games, trying to actually enjoy my childhood. So 120 miles and 240 hours of mild exercise and 5 hours of medium intensity equaled one tenth of the strength of an average male. The intellectual stats seem to be more situational so they level faster while the physical stats level slower. But I'm sure they have a wider variety of effects as there are only two of them. Strength should cover vitality so my plan is to become a Strength monster and punch holes straight through any defense…..or mountain…. because fuck the old hat man for forcing this shit on me just for wanting to be cordial with the Jinchuriki or whatever.
Sleep was a fast friend that night after a dinner of some rice and fish ( fridge was chock full of the stuff, guess they don't want me to starve while I figure out the whole grocery store thing) the morning was a whole host of new annoyances. Getting up at 4:30am gave me enough self hatred to get dressed and grab a massive water jug that was kindly provided for me. plus I got to stuff some rice in my gob, opening the door there were 11 year olds in green everywhere. not one of them were familiar, and not a damn one of them had any remarkable characteristics aside from mostly being male, they also all pointedly ignored me. Lovely, guess I get to act the part of a lost puppy. Channeling my inner doggo I follow the herd marching down the stairs and into the night.
"ALRIGHT MAGGOTS YOUVE GOT 20 LAPS AROUND THE FIELD."
GOD THIS SUCKS
"DROP AND GIVE ME 50"
SO. MUCH.
"50 CRUNCHES"
"20 MORE LAPS YOU GENIN TRASH"
I could barely keep pace with the tail end of the Genin on the first set of laps, between the crunches and push ups they had us mock fight while on a running lap around the field, the twenty laps were just the warm up. I was obviously just shoved around for the most part and punched a few times but after a bit I started to take advantage of my small size and just run between people when individuals decided to take swings or shoves at me. Sure I got hit a few times from the crossfire but overall I could at least keep running and kick a few people in the shin with an exhausted laugh. I'm not really sure how big the field is but it's bigger than a football field. (As I've got the vitality of a full grown man in good shape) it was NOT fun but it wasn't terrible. The chunins yelling at us mostly ignored me like they ignored everyone else who was doing the exercises and not bitching. y'know there was a person with blonde hair among the chunins so at least there is some hair variety besides just brown black and me.
We did one more cycle of 20 laps, 10 fightlaps with crunches/pushups, 20 laps before the sun came up. When the sun finally breached the horizon I was laying on my back in the grass along with half the Genin. Feeling the sun creep its way into my shirt I had to smile at the bright vibrant purple sky lightening with the rays of sunlight.
"Fuck" I breathe out
"You get used to it" came a confident voice to my left
"Yeah? When does that happen?" I state with a tired will
"Whenever your body decides it's used to it I suppose shorty" I finally notice the person talking to me is actually the blonde chunin standing to my left. "I suppose so yeah considering whatever is going on with my body, since I probably shouldn't remember being born" I huff.
"Fucken hell kid now I've gotta write a report, get your ass up and get to class with the other Genin" he says with an exasperated sigh, the wiry blonde takes off. "Well crap I hate being tired, I always say more than I should" I think out loud as I race after the Genin. Class was as I expected to be honest, history was pretty boring just the usual propoganda laced drivel as I already know from Naruto, the ninja arts were interesting. The lecture for that was one part explanation one part drills, they would run us through a scenario where we either stole something, distracted someone, or performed an "assassination" on a unsuspecting Genin in a different class. I'm sure those will get harder as we go with different targets. In-between classes was a different monster all together, I got my ass handed to me quite cordially in spars. My sensei was actually mr wiry blonde from morning PT he has very sharp features kinda elfish.
"Alright kid, as per what you made me report on this morning I've been told that I am now your personal Chunin Sensei, my name is Shiro Yamanaka you will address me as Yamanaka-San or, Sensei, today we will be going over basic form and your sparing partners will be the fresh from academy Genin. I expect you to lose every spar as you have absolutely no experience with this as far as we are aware. If you win one I've gotta write another report so please don't"
Winning a spar wasn't even a question as I've had very little experience fighting, sure a few years of Kung Fu, a little boxing but that was all a long time ago. Trained child soldiers? They've been doing this for longer than I've been alive this time. "Take a stance" he says with a curious eyebrow raised, one foot forward one foot partially back, a basic boxing stance, hands raised in a guard. "Wrong, here's what you do" Shiro proceeded to walk me through the academy taijustu's basic forms. It was rather simplistic obviously meant to start children on the path to easy murder and giving people a good start to learning more advanced forms the basic stance seemed to be a alternate horse stance with arms cocked back and down near the lower mid section legs spread knees bent and at a slight angle to your opponent. Shiro was kind enough to walk me through a few basic katas before he threw my tiny ass to the proverbial slightly bigger wolves.
My first ever opponent is a scrawny kid with a black bowl cut and rather buck teeth he seemed to be another orphan like me. Not a word was spoken between the two of us before Shiro said "Hajime!" The other kid immediately ran towards me while I took the basic stance and tried to think. Well he's sprinting right at me he's likely trying to end this fast so he will probably immediately throw a massive punch I just need to dodge that. By the time I finished that thought, Mr bowl cut was right in my face swinging his fist. Ducking down I dip under his arm, take a step forward twist and with all of my weight behind my fist I smack him right in the nuts.
"waaaaaAAAAAAAGHHHHHBLERGHEGHG"
annnnnd there's vomit all over me. I look at Shiro "Can I go wash off in the creek while you write that report?"
"Kami kid did you have to aim for the nuts?"
"I wouldn't have won otherwise? I'm three?'
"You got a point there, yeah sure I'll be back in a few" he sighs
Perk gained! 'Nut Cracker'
When facing opponents stronger than you aiming for vital areas is the only 'Right' thing to do! This perk is gained from winning your first ever fight by hitting the opponent in a 'super vital area'
'when facing any opponent you have a 20% higher chance of hitting a vital point regardless of what you aim for! Sometimes to hilarious effect!'
Well…..I mean hell…..could be worse? I don't think people are going to like sparring with me. Hopefully I don't kill anyone by accident, speaking of which no one is helping that kid? Getting back from the creek he was still laying there crying and muttering to himself
"Jouchiro is still a man dammit…." He whimpers
I mean I hope you are kid, that's gotta be rough, there was at least 45 pounds of pressure on that little prepubescent sack…..ew. moving on.
After Shiro got back I proceeded to get pummeled by cautious opponents that did not rush me dead on. I didn't fight a single girl and all the guys were slightly afraid. I did manage to get a few hits surprisingly. none as good as the first but a few of them got bruises which was rather gratifying as they tended to hit me with their longer reach while I meagerly tried to defend and close the distance for 'vital' shots to the kidneys of course!
"Kid why do you consistently go for the nuts?"
"I shall reiterate, how else would I win? I'm three. they are eleven."
He sighs rubbing his eyes
"You have a point kid, just…..kami kid when you get bigger please don't do that in the future"
"Okay when I can reach their face and neck I won't"
"Kami you're a scary three year old no wonder you're here"
"But isn't that what ninja do? Defend the village from bad people? And the easiest way to do that is to go for vital spots right?"
"Yes………………….. I'm going to recommend you to a more advanced training regimen, you'll be learning how to do that 'vital point targeting' even better with a guest teacher or two. And considering you held your own with PT at three which is just damn crazy we are going to up that as well." Rubbing his eyes again "OK since you just seem to be rolling with all of this we will have you go through a usual week here and if you excel or even improve from how you were today I'll kick your sorry hide day in and out till I get you on missions they've already given you Genin status since you beat a Genin at Three" throwing his hands in the air. "Go to class! I'll see you at evening PT"
The rest of classes that day were rather boring the teacher of Chakra took me aside when the rest of the class was performing the basic academy three with the other chunin showing them how to utilize them in combat and showed me the basic leaf exercise he's a black haired Uchiha who obviously doesn't care for me much
"Alright mister 'prodigy' the leaf exercise is the very first and most basic of chakra Control exercises it should take you about a week to get this down but anyway sit in a lotus position and try to feel for the energy in your gut" he says with a roll of his eyes doing basic meditation myself for a large portion of my past life to try and mitigate stress it wasn't that hard to get back at it. But it was rather different from before as now (my chakra coils developed literally this morning sue me for not meditating with chakra before) there was about a basketball size ball of warmth just behind my senses that I didn't feel before, I cleared my thoughts and focused internally. I opened my eyes with a tight mental hold on my little ball of warmth. "Okay now take some of it and move it around" he said looking bored and annoyed. I tried to encourage it along with a bit of will but it just roiled around. Focusing intensely I grabbed a portion with all my attention and all my will power and moved it to my hand.
"Alright now stick this leaf to your hand with that force" grabbing the leaf I put it in my hand and TELL the energy to grab the leaf. I feel the roiling energy flow through my hand to the leaf and back going in waves like a whirlpool keeping the leaf in place while I have my hand upside down.
"Tch fuckin prodigy" The uchiha mutters "Well that's the basics of that exercise you seem to have it down, wall walking and water walking are the exact same so I'm sure you'll figure it out yourself, no need for me to waste my time on that. *Sigh* well let me explain what hand signs are and what they do exactly" "So when you make a hand sign you have the amount of chakra you want to utilize focused into your hands and then put them into specific motions to give the chakra meaning in regards to the world around you. Each sign makes the chakra react differently when it's released upon the world and with different combinations of meaning different reactions occur along with different chakra exit points. Not many people still create jutsu as a lot of the hidden meaning behind hand signs has been lost since the sage of six paths created them. Feel free to experiment as long as you don't mind dying to any number of random reactions you might cause." Didn't a few people in the anime create new jutsu? Idk maybe this is just another AU thing. "But the basis of chakra Control is to make sure you use ONLY the amount of chakra needed to complete a jutsu or action so practice that during class and when you can walk on the walls one of us will show you the academy three. You can access the Genin jutsu library for other jutsu during your free time" and with that he left me to my own devices, asshole, at least he new what he was talking about and dammit I didn't want to be a prodigy I was happy just chillin till I was 8 and going to the academy. Getting more than one leaf to stick was hard, hell getting used to the feeling of forcing my chakra around was hard. and by the end of class I was only able to stick three leaves to myself by sheer force of will. The chakra just did NOT want to stay still. People kinda looked at me weird after I got the third leaf, one on my forehead and one on both hands, but DAMN if that wasn't mentally exhausting. Sure PT was bad and I still felt the aches….. speaking of I haven't had any notifications since the perk? Stats
Updating please hold
well that's not good.
Whatever.
Evening PT was the exact same as this morning people avoided me more on the running fights probably to avoid the nutcracker's attack. but spars went a little bit better than this morning, and got a few more hits in. It still didn't really feel normal to fight, hell the whole day felt kinda surreal for the past three years I've just been messing around with the other orphans, playing as kids do, trying not to go crazy by at least sorta ACTING my age. I kinda want to blame Naruto for this but it's not his fault that I can't act for shit, and that he just chose to hide in MY particular stall that ONE day. Oh well I still want to understand nature transformation and It better be earth I don't really care if I have another element I just want earth, because really Earth is the most overpowered of all the elements. It's freaking everywhere in EVERYTHING. Like why can't we just make diamond dust armor jutsu like that one they have over in Iwa just diamond dust instead of normal rock heck even normal rock is OP as hell just make it thicker and cover it with a good henge and bam whats lighting going to do to two feet of solid granite…….right travel through me and then into the ground….well maybe earth isn't the best idea. Oh well I'll see what I get later and just work with it.
Getting back home that evening I ate some more fish and rice, took a shower and collapsed into bed. *Crickle* "the fuhs that?" I tiredly say pulling a piece of paper out from under me
"Just because I threatened your manhood you go and attack others manhood? You little shit. push your chakra into this paper it's the last I'm going to help you. if it catches fire you have fire chakra if it crinkles you have lightning. if it gets wet, water. And if it turns to dust earth. cut in half? You guessed it wind. learn jutsu per your element in the library, good luck."
"Mikoto ugh it was the only way to win woman. But thanks I guess"
*Catches fire*
"FUUUCK"
CHAPTER 3
RISE AND SHINE!
there's been a little update to the system nothing major just changing it so your stats only update after you sleep. So that's the best time to check it! ;)
The clock says 4:30am uuuuuuugh I huuuuurt fuuuuuuck.
Since I'm not moving for the next fifteen minutes might as well
'stats'
Name : Fred
Age: 3
Health: You feel like crap but you're not injured in any way
Chakra: you're about average for a ten year old
Chakra Control: moderately impressive for a Genin
Str: 13
Dex: 11
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 16
Charisma: 13
Ayyyyye I've got a new stat, ain't that nice and a new point in dex and str. so today shouldn't be as hellish as yesterday I hope...hell hopefully the next week goes okay…..well shit I just hope I don't die in the next year.
So the next year went by pretty quickly after that. my stat gain slowed down somewhat when I got to the 20s but I still powered through them relatively quickly my other stats only went up a few times because of classes they all reached level 20 except for CHA that stuck at 16 which is still impressive as that's way above average which is 10 so I'm not worried about it. Shiro took me through the paces after that first week since I could hold my own physically against the other Genin in PT in just a few days I'm guessing the average Genin has about 15 str 15 dex and the average chunin has 20 of each while the average jonin is 35-40 which makes sense as to why my growth slowed down so dramatically after about 22 for str. I don't really get sore anymore as it seems my vitality did go up with my str I don't keep bruises for longer than a few minutes and cuts heal in an afternoon plus I can carry a damn good amount I would say about just an even 440 pounds for a four year old. (is pretty nuts Shiro just kinda stared at me last time I was doing weights) my training regimen increased to the point that I barely slept for a good part of the last year. Waking up at 4:30 going to bed at 12 just one sleep cycle a night. And since my body seems to handle it just fine now it's not a problem (it fucken sucked starting out). It started out as just alot more cardio, katas, and sparring with Shiro and picked up to weights with the weight getting heavier and heavier untill Shiro just didn't understand anymore
"How the hell can you do that when you're four?!"
"I don't know? Chakra? It's not that bad y'know" as I'm carrying a boulder while running the track
He sulks grumbling "guess I gotta write another report"
That was just a few days ago. I still haven't gotten around to actually cooking anything I just eat the fish and rice that's always in the fridge. Some days there's some veggies but mainly fish and rice. Eh all I do is physical exercise I don't have time for that. I basically don't stop moving from when I get up to when I fall asleep. I doubt they would ever give me chakra weights at least untill I'm around 11-12 but since I did that thing with the stone the other day who knows. So this is what I do to try and grow as fast as possible. Obviously it's been working pretty well so no need to stop now. Also during this last year I've mastered wall/tree walking the academy three and a basic campfire jutsu I've been trying to figure out a way to encase myself in a sort of flame armor as I love me a good ol jutsu cloak but there's nothing in the library even close, but I did figure out something else!
"kid why are your hands on fire?"
"I'm not sure I did the dragon sign with a little more chakra than the usual campfire jutsu and did the rat sign and boom flammy fists I'm really not sure why it doesn't burn my hands though?" I say with a dead pan.
"Please don't do anymore experiments, or at BARE MINIMUM don't use any more chakra than that."
Grumbling "another fucking report kami damn it"
That was a fun day, still not sure how I stumbled on that one I just kinda guessed that dragon was fire centric as that's the only seal for the campfire jutsu and rat seems focused on the fists with the shape of it. No idea what the central quality of rat is though.
I get dressed, finish my meal and walk on my hands to the training ground. (Which is a lovely workout I've found, thank you Gai)
All the usual Genin are off doing their exercise together when Shiro comes up to me
"Alright Fred, so as per my last report we are taking you on for some survival training with a jonin named Anko Mitarashi"
Oh fuck please nooooooo
AAAAAAND there she is the crazy woman herself.
"Is this the runt?" She asks oh so sweetly from behind me I turn slowly. She's wearing the exact same outfit as usual trench coat and all that but thank god. there's a shirt under that netting (ya horny fucks).
"Yep. Don't let him die but he's pretty durable" Shiro Responds
"Alright runt, first things first we are going to go buy you some equipment, new clothes, and a weapon" she looks to Shiro with a curious expression "what's he good at?"
"He likes to punch things with fire" Shiro states
I pull up my already flaming fists and smile. She looks at me returns my smile with a slightly more crazed look and says while ruffling my hair "I think we will get along just fine runt heh-heh" she turns around and immediately walks towards the tree line walks up a tree, me right behind her, and starts tree hoping into town (tree hoping was easier to learn than I thought just a slightly different application of the tree walking exercise just push out when you jump and pull in when you land to soften the blow I'm sure the shushin is pretty similar just more advanced trajectory and such) as we hop along the roof tops I really take in the village for the first time, every other time I'm out it's just to the academy and the fields are all right next door. All the buildings are really colorful for what they are, semi modern buildings with a terracotta feel, vines and plants everywhere the streets all seem to lead straight to the hokage tower by the giant mount ninja rushmore. Which is kinda of an odd setup but I'm guessing it's so as to avoid fights directly in the village as there's a large cleared out space around the tower and right inside the walls are all the training grounds as a buffer area where enemies who breach the walls can be engaged…..that actually makes alot of sense considering how the only real powers at be who could breach the walls would cause mass devastation in a fight right above the village…..was this in the show or another au thing? I really don't know. Anyway she lead me to a street full of signs with kunai painted next to their shop signature, must be shinobi sponsored. Hopping down and walking into a shop with a sign for clothes Anko states "Alright pick what you want this is on the Village as youre a special interest just don't go crazy, a few outfits for the field that's all" she finished with a pointed glare. I just respond with a nod and begin my search for black cargopants and black boots. And I guess a blue shirt ,always liked blue, darker blue works. Grabbing a few sets of those, and a light green jacket with extra pockets for the cold months. I walk up to the counter to ring up. Nobody special runs this store as far as I can tell. Anko rings me up and takes me next door to Higurashi's. It turns out that name is written on the sign next a battle axe not very ninja like but whatever. Inside is an assortment of weapons on racks and bins full of wrapped bundles of kunai and shuriken. "Alright kid I know just the weapon for you" she goes to the right and grabs a pair of bladed brass knuckles a skull knuckle blade not a trench knife but close to it, it's basically a large blade on a brass knuckle finger handle but these are attached to a pair of semi gauntlets…..to put it simply they are essentially gauntlet blades that have moveable fingers and the blade folds up onto the back of the hand for ease of hand signs but can latch down into punching position and unlatch with a catch that you trip with your fingers. I fall in love immediately."I love them." I say reverently. With a knowing smile Anko says "I know you just want to punch something with them now but we have to pay for them" taking them to the counter I see a really young Tenten manning the till "ohh you want the gauntlet blades?! Daddy only made a few of them as they are not very popular! 50,000 ryo! And the oil for the latch is free!" She says in a hyperactive squeaky voice. just an adorable little panda girl with her lil buns and Chinese style shirt. I nod and Anko pulls out the money. "Also an Academy field kit and kunai pouches" she adds "Sure!" The young panda responds running into the back of the store "alright runt so we are going to start with a few days in the woods, you'll eat what you find and sleep in what you can make, I'll show you how to do these things when we get there but I expect you to pick it up as fast as your reputation has shown, after that we get to the fun stuff" she says with a grin. I smile back but inside I'm screaming.
After she paid she just. Left. Like alright, thanks for paying for the gear see you later? No idea when later is but it's probably when I'm sleeping at some point. waving to TenTen I head on over to the library to see if I can snag some more jutsu, I haven't had alot of time for just browsing as I just had the two hours everyday and hell I took that time to usually unwind and practice chakra Control as wall walking is fun, so is wall sitting…...and wall laying, just being on ceilings and stuff is cool dammit! Anyway I've only been in the library a few times to look over some jutsu manipulation papers that are common knowledge to most but not to me. Basically what it all boils down to is people have been trying to figure out how jutsu creation works for the last few decades. Most people make new ones using nature chakra manipulation and handsigns they are familiar with that do a similar action on a smaller scale and then people take that and make it common practice. making a new widespread jutsu like windblades or the village hidden in the mist jutsu. Obviously it's all magical bullshit the relies on shaping the chakra in certain ways that makes it do what you want for some reason. And somehow intent also shapes chakra, as obviously the Ram seal used in the shadow clone jutsu is used in ALOT of other jutsu, oh Naruto just got kicked out of the library, Anyway! I'm sure you're thinking, "well if that's all then I'm sure if you made the ram seal and focused on making a shadow clone it'd work right?! Just use half your chakra!" NO, I would lose my hands. See they never explained in the show what exactly people are THINKING when they actually DO the jutsu. Aside from talking about the damn swings of depression. Like Naruto just learned shadow clones first thing. And yes they are just as overpowered as in the show here just chakra expensive. How did Naruto get back in here? I'm trying to find low level fire jutsu while I inner monologue you toilet peeper!
"How hey! It's you!"
"I just said that out loud didn't I?"
"That you did Toilet-san! You remembered me! And you didn't rat me out, awesome dattebyo, hey how about we get some ramen?!" He exclaims as he's being dragged out "UHH RAIN CHECK ON THAT TOILET SAN"
"Fuck I'm Toilet san now, God I hope Anko kidnaps me for training before he finds me again" I sigh rubbing my eyes
"Your wish is my command Gaki"
Oh hey I'm a brat instead of a runt now "Fuuuuuuck" I groan as Anko drags me by my shirt out of the Library and onto the next chapter of whatever the fuck is going on.
Senbon FUCKING HURT.
"WHY DID YOU STAB ME?!"
"because you left the store without me Gaki" she states as she pulls the senbon out of my shoulder after unceremoniously throwing me into a tree outside of town
"You left ME there Lady! What kinda drugs are you on!?"
The world starts spinning and I see three Anko's standing over me
"Those drugs Gaki, those. Drugs." She says with a smile and a hand on her hip. As everything starts spinning.
"Now that's just your punishment for leaving. What's one measly senbon and some Vertigo to the prodigy huh? You'll get your immunity eventually" she says quietly with a creepy grin.
I just grunt and force myself into a sitting position with the tree (hopefully) to my back and grab my old white shirt and tear a part of the bottom off for a makeshift bandage.
"Ah wow you do have some kind of bloodline don't you? I guess the reports were right. that dosage was high enough to keep a full grown man down for at least 6 hours"
"I...ugh….I guess?"
"Well then I guess we will have to discover the limits of your growth together then shall we? Your file says you grow stronger and healthier the more strain you put on yourself mainly through weights and cardio. How about we first try poisons! What do you think Gaki?"
Oh god please no. No, I don't wanna be on drug trips for a week. I just grab my head and groan.
2 weeks later -
I'm getting way to used to hospitals. In my old life I've only been to the doctor a handful of times, but here? These last two weeks I've been here 5 times. From the first week it was because of all the poison, OD'd twice I was pretty close to death Anko was 'testing my boundaries' for nercrotics, and toxins. Unsurprisingly my tolerance is way higher than someone my size and weight should be. I sadly didn't gain any stats from it but I did get a perk
Nerve Touched
Too many paralytics and you'll lose some feeling. Higher pain tolerance but lower sensitivity.
Not that I particularly like this perk but it certainly was helpful in the second week when Anko played the 'run around the track carrying boulders while I throw kunai at you' game. Had one nick an artery which is how I ended up at the hospital this time. Thank god for the healing palm jutsu or I likely would have died on the way over.
Really it's pretty good training, and since the torture and poisoning didn't actually make me any stronger we defaulted to that for most of my gains as it works my dex and my str in one sitting. Oh right while I was paralyzed Anko lectured me on survival skills and dragged me around the woods showing me what different plants to eat, what looks like a game trail etc. Which overall was very informative, I just wish she didn't test me while I was on the hallucinagins that was just all a freaky blur, it increased my intelligence by one though. And the conversation I had with the Owls brought my wisdom up.
'stats'
Name : Fred
Age: 4
Health: light blood loss
Chakra: Just short of Average Chunin
Chakra Control: High Chunin you REALLY like walking on walls.
Str: 24
Dex: 22
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 17
Charisma: 16
So overall not bad progress I wish it was faster but not bad. I'm 4 I've got about 8 years till Canon starts which is a ridiculous amount of time. pump those numbers up! Anko did say this training was only temporary as Shiro was busy with a mission? Right? Did she say that? She may have mentioned it while I was running from those snakes that one time….I don't know I'll ask her soon I guess.
"Fred" an elderly voice from the door says
"Yes?" I instinctively respond before I even know who's at the door.
Annnnnd it's the hokage. And he doesn't particularly look happy.
"I understand this is your first meeting and you've lost some blood but show respect Dammit!" A voice from somewhere I can't see shouts
I instantly half bow while seated and say " I'm sorry hokage sama I meant no disrespect! how can I help you?" I nearly shout out of nerves.
"Haha it's quite alright, I just thought I would check in on our youngest Genin. How're you feeling?"
"I'm okay sir! Just light headed"
"Good, I hope you make as swift of a recovery as you have previously, we wouldn't want your training to slow down now would we?"
"No sir!"
"I'll leave you to it then, oh and one last thing" he looks at me with hard eyes "why did you want to get close to Naruto?"
"Huh?" I say confused out of my mind
"Oh alright then!" His face does a complete one eighty and smiles at me as he walks out
-Hokage POV-
So he's just a simple weird child then. Good, if we didn't have multiple witnesses and chakra signatures, I definitely pegged him for a spy. Well I suppose our darling 'Toilet -chan' isn't a risk to Naruto. But we shall certainly keep his training regimen as high as humanly possible. He seems happy to do it and Naruto will certainly need strong friends. And his bloodline is ridiculous.
-Return pov-
That was….weird? I didn't expect the hokage to visit, he was probably feeling me out though…. actually that was pretty obvious. Well I'm not dead yet so I think I passed this one at least. Laying back down and grabbing a magazine I decide to wait till Anko shows up.
"Hey gaki I got us dango!" She says with a grin two hours later.
"Ok" I monotone, we've had dango everyday of training at least twice.
"Aww don't be so glum dango is the best!"
She says loudly through her mouth full of dango
"So how much more of this training are we doing? I remember you saying it was temporary?"
"Ah! Right, today was the last day of our little extra curricular training. You picked up the survival stuff in the first week which was all we were supposed to do. So the rest was just working on your bloodline" she says cheerily
"I hate you" I deadpan with a intense blank stare
"Aww did the widdle genius hate being drugged"
"Yes"
"I see" she looks up at me a small grin on her face.
"Well you won't see me again for awhile unless it's on a mission or accidentally. Take care of yourself Gaki"
"Understood" I reply as she gets up and walks away.
--break--
After anko left it was generally just more training with shiro, not alot was going on but I had a few run ins with tenten when I went to buy more oil for my gauntlets (I practiced the blade flicking pretty habitually) and she was quite happy to show me the ropes of how to properly oil it on my short visit. Not much to write home about there. Anyway I've been thinking, what exactly do I want to do here? I'm already on my way to being an immensely strong individual just from sheer brute strength and I'm not really figuring out much more about the 'magic system' here so I suppose I can just build my strength as much as I can untill I'm strong enough to defend against almost everything. Which may be somewhere around 100? Not sure but hopefully it is, and really I've never been much of a wizard/magic person myself so punching good is probably the best plan. "Stats"
Name : Fred
Age: 5
Health: a little sore but you're doing alright
Chakra: Average Chunin
Chakra Control: High Chunin you REALLY like walking on walls.
Str: 26
Dex: 24
Intelligence: 19
Wisdom: 18
Charisma: 16
So it's been about a year since anko left me on that hospital bed, not much has changed going to the academy taking classes about chakra the laws etc and working out with shiro and fighting the other kids (who still call me nut cracker). I win pretty much Everytime now as I'm just to fast and strong for the kids to keep up so I've been sparing with shiro more than anything else as he can follow movements and react but he can't reallyatch me.for strength which was a little terrifying for him to find out when I accidentally broke his forearm one day. I'll never forget the screaming about another report he had to write, he seemed more angry about that than anything else. But currently I'm on my way to training this morning with shiro as usual.
Walking into the clearing shiro waves me over to him and a large man with a bowl cut
"Morning nutcracker. Starting today I am no longer your sensei" shiro says with a rather large smile
"This here is Might Guy and he will be taking you on a few of your first missions and be your sensei from now on untill you reach chunin" he says non plussed "not that it'll take long" he quietly grumbles
The man is rather tall, not that I have a good reference for height as I'm five and only about 3"9' with a bowl cut and…. hopefully just a can do attitude. With a thumbs up
"HELLO MY YOUNG STUDENT ILL BE BRINGING YOUR FIRES OF YOUTH TO THEIR ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM" he screams
With my head in my hands "Oh God shiro please kill me now"
"No can do Fred hokages orders" he replies with a massive grin
"WHAT IS WRONG MY STUDENT? WHO HAS WRONGED YOU?" GUY SHOUTS AGAIN.
Fucking hell this is going to be annoying to match this energy all the time
"WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING SENSEI?" I bite the bullet and yell back with equal exuberance
With significantly less vigor but still some exuberance he responds "Oh good point, no need for that. Anyway my youthful companion we will first begin our journey together with a quick mission delivering a missive to an outpost outside the village"
"Hai sensei!" I salute
"AND WE WILL GET THERE BY RUNNING ON OUR HANDS AND BALANCING A BOULDER WITH OUR FEET AT THE SAME TIME" he yells excitedly
Oh jeez.