Thank you all for reading! Special thanks to Oleander's One for support and betaing!

Shepard stood at Joker's shoulder and watched as he expertly piloted the Normandy into dock at the Citadel—as she had so many times before. But that had been on a different Normandy, with different crew, flying under a different organization … and for what it was worth, docking at a different Citadel. Even from the ship, she could see that there had been a lot of changes as the Citadel recovered from Sovereign's attack.

She was nervous to set foot there as she had not been on approach to Omega. On Omega, Commander Shepard was nothing but a name—on the Citadel, she had been known by many, people who would have questions.

"You're going to have to tell your story a good thousand times, I bet, Commander," Joker said, reading her mind as he so often did.

"I could have it broadcast on the Citadel news network, if that would help," EDI piped up.

Shepard shook her head. "I think that might make things worse, but thanks for the offer."

The Normandy docked, the airlock sealed. There was nothing for it but to go and see what was there. She hoped Kaidan would be there, or that at least she could manage to contact him, to tell him what had happened. Not being able to find out where he was or communicate with him at all had been very frustrating.

There was a lot more security on the Citadel now, that was for sure. People were lined up waiting to be scanned before they were allowed through the doors. The turian at the scanner controls waved Shepard forward when it was her turn, and stiffened noticeably at what came up on his screen. He tapped his ear, muttering to someone on the other side of his comm link, and motioned for Shepard to approach him.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am. Our scanners are picking up false readings." He lowered his voice. "They seem to think you're, well, dead."

Shepard grinned. "I get that a lot." The turian didn't seem reassured by her levity, so she gave him an explanation that would make him happy. "I was listed as missing in action a couple of years ago."

"Oh. In that case, would you mind checking in with my captain? He can reinstate you in the system. I hope you understand—we can't have dead people wandering around the Citadel. The computers would go haywire."

"Of course. Happy to."

"Great. Thanks. He's down the hall, on your right." The turian opened the doors and let Shepard and her crew through.

"This is going to get old fast," Miranda commented.

"You should have thought of that before you let everyone think I was dead for two years."

"Yes, because 'in a medically induced coma being rebuilt' is a more believable story."

"More interesting, at least." Shepard smiled. Somewhat reluctantly, Miranda smiled back.

There was a blond human sitting at the desk the turian indicated. He looked up as Shepard approached. "Commander Shepard?"

"You know who I am?"

"Of course. You won't remember me, but we met once, just after the attack here. Armando Bailey."

"You're right, I'm sorry, I can't say I do remember. I was pretty exhausted right about then."

Bailey nodded. "I understand." He tapped some keys and frowned at the screen. "Well, I see the problem, Commander. The system has you listed as dead. We can fix that."

"You're not worried I'm some imposter claiming to be me?"

"No, my system has the best scanners in the galaxy. They can sample DNA from skin flakes. Even if I didn't recognize you myself, the system is sure you're you."

"Anything you can do? It's going to be a long visit if I have to keep telling the system I'm not dead."

His fingers were already pecking at the keys as he nodded. "Usually they'd make you go through Station Security Administration for this, then to Customs and Immigration to regain access to the Citadel—and probably a stop at the treasury." He grinned. "'Spending a year dead' is a popular tax dodge."

"Some people will do anything for a few credits," Miranda drawled.

"Exactly." Bailey nodded at her. "But I'm sure your business on the Citadel would be better done without being bounced from office to office, so I'm going to press this button right here, and we're going to call it done."

"Thank you, Captain I appreciate it."

He tapped the button and smiled up at her. "Welcome back to the world of the living, Commander Shepard. I hope you enjoy it."

"I do, too," she said under her breath as she left his desk.

She went straight to Anderson's office, enduring a fair number of shocked looks and whispers on the way, although no one actually stopped her to ask questions, for which she was grateful. There was no sign of Kaidan, either, although she looked for him in the face of every broad-shouldered dark-haired man in Alliance uniform she saw.

Anderson was standing at the window of his office, looking out over the lake, as the door slid open. He turned, his eyes widening. "Shepard. I heard rumors, but I never thought …" He shook his head as if to clear it. "Welcome back to the ranks of the living. I sent you a message, just in case, but …"

"I got it. It's one of the reasons I'm here." She reached out and shook his hand. "It's good to see you again, Captain. Or should I say Councilor?"

"As long as you're really standing here in my office, you can call me anything you want." He looked over her shoulder at her companions. "I'm sorry, we haven't met."

"Oh, of course. Miranda Lawson, who spearheaded the team behind my recovery after the attack on the Normandy, and Dr. Mordin Solus, formerly of Omega."

"So you were there."

"Yes. Collecting Dr. Solus, for one thing. He's been a valuable addition to my team."

"Too kind, Commander. Do what I can," Mordin said, but it was clear he was pleased by the designation.

Anderson nodded at both of them, but quickly turned his attention back to Shepard. "I'm glad you came. I tried to get the Council to weigh in on what your survival might mean, but they were skeptical."

"Can't blame them for that."

"Also, some … changes have been made. Perhaps you've heard?"

"The official denial of the existence of the Reapers? Yeah, I've heard."

Anderson sighed. "You have to admit, you're the only one who spoke to the VI on Ilos …"

"Along with Kaidan and Garrus."

"Yes. Your word as a Spectre is worth more than theirs, and I'm afraid there's a general conclusion that you were being influenced by Saren and fell victim to a hoax on his part, the creation of these 'Reapers' as a mythical bogeyman hiding out in dark space."

Shepard held on to her temper, but barely. "And Sovereign? The wreckage should have made it clear that we were dealing with technology far beyond what Saren or the geth could have achieved."

Anderson gestured her and the others to seats. "You left soon after the attack, Shepard. You weren't here for the vast majority of the cleanup. Pieces of that ship were everywhere. Picked up by scavengers, sold for souvenirs, used in the rebuilding effort—I doubt you could put twenty percent of it back together from what we've collected."

Glancing at Miranda, whose eyes said loud and clear that she'd told her so, Shepard started to speak, and then thought better of it. There was no point having this argument with Anderson. At least, not now. The Collectors were the immediate objective, and there would, hopefully, be time to deal with the Reapers and convince the Council of the threat after that.

"There's something else," Anderson said. He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortably at Miranda and Mordin. "There have been a lot of rumors … some of them, frankly, a little disturbing."

Shepard braced herself. This was going to be about Cerberus. Well, she'd known it was coming.

"I take it from your silence that you're not going to deny it."

"No." She took a deep breath, thinking about how best to explain the situation. "Among other things, Cerberus seems to be the only group actively looking for our missing colonists."

"Look, Shepard, I feel for those colonists, but they went to the Terminus Systems to get away from the Alliance. And the Council's got a lot on their plate without getting embroiled in a purely human problem. We simply can't protect them."

Miranda rolled her eyes, and Mordin looked as though he was about to start off one of his rapid-fire monologues, but Shepard raised a hand to keep them both silent as Anderson continued.

"But you can. I understand that. And I trust that if you're with Cerberus, you have your reasons. I've worked with you for a long time, Shepard—you've earned the benefit of the doubt several times over. Also, I have the feeling something more is going on here."

"You've heard of the Collectors?"

"Yes. Are you saying they're behind these missing colonists?"

"They are—and the Reapers are behind them." Before Anderson could object, Shepard said, "Whether you, or the rest of the Council. believe in them or not is beside the point, Councilor. The question is, can you help me against the Collectors and hopefully save more of our colonies from being attacked?"

He rubbed a hand over his head, thinking over the question. "What I can do is keep the Council and the Alliance off your back. It'll help if you're operating out in the Terminus Systems. And given that fact, I did manage to get the Council to reinstate your Spectre status, which should help."

"That will help significantly," Shepard agreed. "Thank you."

Anderson nodded. "My pleasure."

Shepard looked at her team. "Would you mind if I asked you both to give us some privacy? I'd like to catch up with the captain, talk over old times … I think you'd both be bored."

Mordin jumped up with a "Certainly, certainly," while Miranda got to her feet more slowly, emphasizing that she was doing Shepard a favor and not responding to a command. She took commands well in the field and under fire, Shepard had learned, which was the most important part—she hoped that as they got to be more comfortable with one another, Miranda would begin to take her commands in less life-or-death situations as well. But for now the attitude was tolerable—and understandable—so she'd live with it.

When they were gone, Anderson asked, "You're all right, Shepard? Not … in any kind of trouble?"

"No. They seem to be on the up-and-up. I have a mostly free hand on this mission. And they saved my life. It's hard to look down on them after that."

"Good. As long as you know what you're doing."

"I do." She looked at him carefully, noting the lines on his face and the gray in his hair that hadn't been there the last time she'd seen him. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, mostly I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall a lot. But it isn't all bad, and representing humanity on the Council—well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, but it's an important job, and one I'm glad to have. I never thanked you for that, Shepard."

"Yes, you did." Or if he hadn't, it didn't matter. It had been the right decision, and she didn't need to be thanked for seeing the obvious.

"If you say so."

Shepard hesitated. It was the question she most wanted the answer to, but was most afraid to ask, knowing how much of herself it would reveal. "What can you tell me about Staff Lieutenant Alenko? What happened to him after the attack on the Normandy?"

"He's still with the Alliance, but he's working on a special mission. It's classified." Anderson wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Does he know? About me?"

"Until five minutes ago, Shepard, I didn't know about you. Not for certain. So, no."

Reading between the lines, she was sure Kaidan must have heard rumors, and her heart sank. She had so wanted to get to him before he heard anything and had to wonder why she hadn't been in touch. "Even to a Spectre, it's classified?"

Anderson nodded. "It is to a Spectre working with Cerberus. I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be."

"If you see him, or speak to him …?"

"I'll tell him I saw you. Anything else should probably come from you."

"It can't come from me if I can't find him," Shepard pointed out. "Just … tell him that, will you? That I haven't been able to reach him, that I tried?"

"If I see him," Anderson said, but there wasn't a lot of optimism in his voice, and to salvage her pride, Shepard changed the subject.

"The repairs to the Citadel seem to have gone well."

"Yes, although they're still ongoing. The main areas of commerce and the most populated wards are complete, but estimates for total restoration are sitting at around five more years. Sovereign really did a number on this place." He smiled. "The keepers are always surprising us, though, coming along and fine-tuning and finishing the repairs we've begun. It's a reminder that they've been here a lot longer than we have." He glanced over at Shepard. "It's good to have you back among the living again, even if it's also complicated."

"Someday, I hope to live a simple life."

Anderson laughed. "You wouldn't know what to do with yourself."

"Maybe not, but I'd like to try it." They exchanged another hearty handshake. "Thank you, Captain. For everything."

"Thank you, Shepard. If there's anything useful I can pass along to you, I'll do it."

"I appreciate that."

She left him there, looking out over the Citadel, and rejoined her team with a heavy heart. Was she ever going to see Kaidan again? No matter what happened, knowing he was out there and not being able to connect with him left a big hole in her recovery of her life—she wouldn't feel quite right until she had talked to him, and that seemed a more remote possibility all the time.