Josh smiles and ducks Tobey's punch, then decides in disgust that he is a loser and sprints off to find Jen. He locates her in just minutes. After making sure she is fine (she is none the worse for wear despite her puffy eyes, straggly hair, runny nose and utterly ruined dress and makeup), they run out together. Jen's first move is to give Josh a fierce hug and sob out her fears to him. Josh murmurs words of comfort but his mind is on Michelle, who, incidentally, is only several miles away.
Disgusted with Rachel and her sniveling idiocy, Michelle wonders how she will ever find Orli. She finds it highly unlikely that Rachel will consent to lead her to him and has no idea where to begin a search. Clearly frustrated, we watch our favorite cute 'n' sexy chic run her hands through her slightly mussed brown hair. Go for a mansion, Michelle, we urge our girl silently, try that big one behind you! As if she hears our directions, Michelle does an about-face and runs up the marble steps of an impressive mansion, where she believes Orli is.
Inside, she looks around for a moment, awestruck and more than a little lost. She gazes around her, attempting to dredge up the physic powers that she believes she possesses to give her an indication as to where Orli is. Although her inner crystal ball seems to be very fogged over, she nevertheless tromps off in the correct direction (no doubt a coincidence). She breaks into a brisk trot within seconds, hearing a booger read: Rachel wailing in rage and ordering some guy (big and burly, no question) to go after her. After several wrong turns and a couple of correct ones, along with the strain of traveling several annoying staircases up and down, she finds a large, expensive wooden door with the label "Orlando's Room." Gee, Michelle thinks sarcastically, subtlety is obviously not her strong suit, in obvious indication of Rachel. Although the door is locked, as is expected, Michelle's cute 'n' sexy shorts have a number of useful pockets, and prominent in one of them is a very long, thin piece of wire that looks like a paperclip.
She masterfully picks the lock and springs the door open, announcing, "Orli, I've come to rescue..." but stops short, because it is not Orlando in the room. Hmmmm, Michelle thinks crazily, temporarily stupid with shock, I guess she's just a little bit smarter than I gave her credit for. Then she adds aloud, "This is bad. Do you think this is bad? I think this has great potential to be bad," addressing the persons lounging around the room and clearly waiting for her.
Josh and Jen, meanwhile (Jen having changed out of her ruined dress), are considering going back to the park where the wedding was supposed to be held, but then wonder if maybe Michelle might need some help. Of course, they know she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but as her soon-to-be husband and best friend. So they run off to the colossal mansion where Rachel Leigh Cook tends to be a lot to find Michelle.
Michelle stares, aghast, at Rachel and several very big guys with very big muscles. "Umm... I guess I'm in the wrong room, huh?" she asks, rather meekly, all things considered.
"Oh no, not at all," Rachel assures her. "Stay awhile... we've been expecting you."
"Ah, no... Don't think I will," Michelle answers with the senseless formality that she generally reserves for complete idiots. She turns and runs from the room, to the door across the hall labeled "Rachel's Room." Picking the lock more quickly than before, she cautiously peers around the door before bursting in.
Michelle surveys the room. It is large and looks relatively comfortable, cool despite the formidable heat of June. Silk curtains cover numerous windows. An expensive wardrobe houses a great variety of clothes that could well have come from Abercrombie and Fitch or been custom-made, every last. They're not skimping on money, that's for sure, Michelle thinks dryly. She continues her once-over of the room: Expensive makeup is scattered here and there; clearly, this is normally Rachel's room, as the door suggests. Lavish decorations adorn the walls and an unnecessarily large bathroom is connected to the unnecessarily large room. A king-sized bed with a very soft-looking mattress takes up roughly half of a wall. Masturbation
Lying on the bed, in a T-shirt and jeans, with his tux neatly hung up in an open closet, is Orli.
He looks up when Michelle comes in and smiles slightly. But his next words surprise the girl: "You better get out of here before they come after you."
"Who cares?" Michelle responds, too startled by this less-than-warm greeting to come up with anything clever to say. "They've been trying and it hasn't been working."
"You don't understand," Orli insists. "They won't hurt me, but they wouldn't hesitate to hurt you and I don't want to feel responsible for that."
Despite what sounds like an undercurrent of selfishness in his voice, Michelle is touched. He is worried for her.
In the meantime, Josh and Jen, like Michelle, manage to get lucky and find their way to "Orlando's Room," which, as you may recall, is not actually Orlando's room. Luckily, nobody is in this particular room, and the door is still opened from when Michelle picked the lock. So they head across the hall, to a locked door labeled "Rachel's Room." Yes, it's locked...
"How very touching," Rachel sneers in the general direction of Orli and Michelle, who both jump around at the sound of her voice. Clearly, she has overheard some part of their conversation. She moves toward Michelle, face twisted with very vast irritation. Michelle steps nimbly out of her reach, behind Orli, who has deliberately placed himself in front of her. He tells Rachel in no uncertain terms that if she harms Michelle in any way he will never learn to respect her, let alone love her.
At this point Rachel decides just to leave the two of them locked in the spacious room. She turns and exits, locking the door behind her.
And this is why the door is locked when Josh and Jen find it.
Luckily for Jen, the other half of the famous dream team is very skilled in picking locks, just like Michelle. Within seconds the door is opened and Orli and Michelle are revealed, deep in conversation. Josh clears his throat to get their attention, and they both look up, startled... just as the door slams behind them. Jen walks over to test it; to nobody's surprise, it is locked.
"Oh, way to go!" Michelle cries, applauding. "Really great, now what are we supposed to do?"
"Chill, Michelle," Jen commands, used to soothing her friend.
Michelle takes notice of the girl for the first time. "Jen!" she exclaims. "You're okay!"
But now that Jen has issued her order, her eyes travel past Michelle.
"Orli!" she cries, and throws herself upon him. He returns the fierce hug with a passionate kiss of his own. Josh, upon seeing Michelle, wraps her up in his own warm embrace. For several minutes little else happens. Then everyone just pulls him- or herself together as they try to figure out how to get out of the stupid room, which doesn't seem so big with one bed and four people.
Two hours and several blown temper fuses later, the quartet decides that they either have to jump from the second-story window (into sharp and pointy bushes), or someone has to sneak out the next time someone brings food. It seems rather risky to jump onto the bushes, but it may be even riskier to sneak out. They've noticed that someone comes in every hour or so, and none of them seem to be the brightest crayons in the box. Yet they feel fairly certain that someone will notice if one of them slips out the heavily guarded door and tries to get the rest of them out.
Michelle and Jen stand for this plan; Josh and Orli are against it because they have the foresight to know neither girl will let either of them go and will rather risk themselves. The guys are overruled.
Fifteen minutes later, after the heated arguments and pleadings are over, Michelle crouches quietly by the door, waiting. She is the one attempting to get out of the room because she is small and quiet enough around the people coming in to check on them that she may not be missed immediately. Plus, she knows how to pick locks.
Approximately 2.345719 minutes after this, the door opens (not without announcing itself with a series of very loud squeaks). Michelle tenses, ready to spring up and out the door. She surveys the immediate vicinity outside the room and notes, not without some measure of satisfaction, that no guard is standing outside the door. Silent and catlike, she springs out while the very homely lady in the room has her back turned.
The very homely lady grunts like the unattractive being she is, and questions, "Where's the fourth one? The short little girl," she adds, as if Jen, Josh and Orli don't know what she is talking about.
Jen is the first to venture a timid answer: "She... she went to the bathroom. Nature calls, you know," she continues, working up courage.
The hideous woman grunts and leaves. All three occupants of the room wait with baited breath for a scream from the woman, thinking that Michelle may not be far enough away. To their immense relief, there is only silence- at least, until the maid starts humming a terrible tune, probably from the 1800s, for company in her scratchy little voice. Jen has to stifle a most unladylike snort, while Josh struggles to keep silent and Orli falls onto the bed in a fit of laughter.
Michelle, free of the confining walls of the spacious room the four have been locked in, stares around for a moment, wondering where to go. Checking her pockets, she is reassured that she still has her paperclip to pick the lock (it's one of those weird ones that can only be picked from the outside).
Then, struck down by a sudden inspiration, she realizes that if she simply picks the freakin' lock and the other three just tumble out of the room, they will not know where to go and this will all be for nothing. So she sets out to explore a bit, which is a risky and life-threatening business, but along with her delusions of ESP, Michelle is laboring under the illusion that she is a dedicated hero.
She starts out her search by heading upstairs, attempting to remember how she made it to that particular room in the first place. She has to stop and duck out of sight every minute and a half or so, because any sound could be a person heading directly for her.
After about half an hour, she locates the grand and noticeable front door through which she came in. Retracing her steps, she finds the room in which her three best friends are stuck. It only takes her fifteen minutes this time.
The door is wide open, and nobody is inside.
When Michelle doesn't return in about a minute and a half, Josh, Jen and Orli get slightly worried. They hadn't actually discussed whether Michelle would come straight back for them or figure out how they could get out before coming back. So they must be content with reassuring themselves that Michelle is trying to find the front door.
Yet after nearly three-quarters of an hour, all three are worried sick. They are beginning to think their time would be better spent going after Michelle. Josh remembers that he can, after all, pick locks, and he does, after all, still have a very useful, bent-up paperclip in his pocket. So, he picks the lock.
Or, at least, he tries to. Recall that earlier, the only reason all four didn't tumble out of the room as soon as they were locked in is that for some reason, the door can't be picked from the inside; only the outside.
"Now what do we do?" Orli demands, in no mood to be calm. Josh himself is annoyed, and it blossoms into full-blown anger as Orlando starts acting like Josh has all the answers.
"Look, I don't know!" he yells, frustrated. "Why do you think I know? And what are you worried about, your future wife is already here, perfectly safe! We don't even know where Michelle is, or if she's okay, or if she's hurt, or..."
"Does that mean I shouldn't care about her too, just because I don't love her the way you do?" Orlando screams right back, red in the face. "She means as much to me as she does to you!"
Jen, unnoticed throughout this, has no luck trying to get Josh and Orli to stop. She listens to them argue for a full five minutes, then finally can't take anymore. "SHUT UP!" she screams, her own face going as red as Orli's with the effort the very loud sound makes. "Just STOP! Do you think I'm not worried too? And do you really think we're helping ANYTHING, anything WHATSOEVER, by sitting here yelling at each other about who's more worried about Michelle and who has the freakin' answers and who doesn't?"
Both guys stare at her for a full minute, in complete silence (a pleasant contrast to the last few minutes). Then Josh finally says, quietly, "She's right. You know... it's probably almost time for someone to come check on us... Forget subtlety, can we just barrel out the door when they come in maybe ten minutes...?"
He is interrupted by the door rapidly opening, and a small man (who looks very strong nevertheless) bursts into the room. Jen, Josh and Orli exchange looks, then run past him into the hall, in search of Michelle.
Michelle, when she reaches the empty room, has two thoughts:
One: Somebody must have moved them because they noticed I was missing and didn't want me to find them, or else they got out somehow, in which case I'll really never find them.
Two: I'd really better get out of here before more people come back... If they've noticed I'm missing but the others aren't they'll be expecting me to come back looking for them.
Maybe Michelle would have had three or four thoughts, but there is no time; she hears rapid footfalls and looks up. Several big, burly men are heading down the hall towards her.
She has only one thought now:
RUN!