Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Shin Sangoku Masou nor other properties of the three kingdoms relate.
A/N: It's been a year since the release of the original Dynasty Warriors 5, now here is the sequel to the original comedic fic where our favorite officers visit a local mall in our time! Some characters aren't going to make the cut in this sequel. Forgive me.
Dynasty Warriors at EBgames Mall 2
It's 9 o' clock at the mall, same as before when he goes out to be the first to buy any new released game.
"It's been a year since the original game came out and I've already felt disappointed with my Masou mode, although the intro still rocks and so is my legend mode on XL…" Zhao Yun thought.
Wei Yan is also with him standing next to him in front of the store that is almost open. He's wearing his street clothes while keeping the mask on. It's his keepsake.
"This isn't the first time I speak normally with you, Zhao Yun," Wei Yan said.
"Of course, but only in times like this you do speak like a social person. Are you still pissed off at Koei for turning you into caveman retardant in every DW game besides Dynasty Tatics, Romance of the Three Kingdoms?" Zhao Yun asked.
"No, besides I'm getting used to my acting talent in Dynasty Warriors," Wei Yan smirked.
"You know your loyal fans will scoff you at that. They love you, they believe in your loyalty to Shu-han. Just, don't worry about Kongming's under use of your talents because he doesn't trust you," Zhao Yun said.
"Actually, it's Yang Yi that is bothering the hell out of me…" Wei Yan said.
"Still ranting about his rank, eh?" Zhao Yun rolleyed.
"Yep, same o' Yang Yi…" Wei Yan shook his head.
Zhou Yu and Xiao entered the mall to meet the two men.
"Hey, you two didn't notice there is a small anger mob outside with signs posted 'Stop making these games, Koei!'," Zhou Yu said.
"Was that minutes ago after we came here 8 in the morning?" Zhao Yun crossed his arms.
"Yes…it's been going on like that on the internet for days. What's up with those people?" Xiao Qiao sighed.
"Well, Koei is still making games on PS2. They continue to expand the series after Dynasty Warriors 3. With so few changes on the graphics thanks to the system's stupid limitation, and minor tweaks on gameplay, done nothing else to revolutionize the gaming scene other than expanding the Dynasty Warriors series with it's expansion packs and some people are really getting tired of it," Zhou Yu said.
"And those people have the right to come outside and start a protest on our favorite company in making these games? Gosh…why don't they stop buying Dynasty Warriors then, hell why don't' they go back to other franchises which are still continuing to hold out a legacy," Wei Yan said.
"But, didn't you know that Dynasty Warriors 4 and 3 made it to Famitsu's top 100 great games list? It even out rank the legendary Final Fight," Xiao Qiao worried.
"Yeah, but the list is only based on Japanese opinions," Zhou Yu said.
"All the final fantasies are crowding the number 1-10 rank list…" Zhao Yun shrugs.
"Are you expecting Famitsu being Final Fantasy biased?" Zhou Yu coughed.
"Well, from the look of it, it seems to be. Not that it's a bad thing, though," Zhao Yun tapped his foot while leading against the wall waiting for the store to be open soon.
Xiao Qiao turns to the attention of the protesters.
"Dynasty Warriors and Koei are here to stay and we're not leaving till every single moron learns more about us," Xiao sticks her tongue out.
"Yeah right, we learnt that you're just a cutey brat like all those quirky Japanese rpg main female characters," some random troll stated.
"Say what?" Xiao Qiao just had enough as she is going to explode.
"Xiao, just ignore them…" Zhou Yu said.
"They don't know a single thing what I'm capable of, also I'm way better than Zhou Yu in the game, a contender to officer kills. I have decent priority and none of those punks want to play me because I'm just a cutesy brat with an annoy personality," Xiao Qiao argued.
"But, you have a shape ear, my love," Zhou Yu put his hand on her chin.
"You could say that again," Wei Yan grinned.
Later, Gan Ning, Ling Tong, and Lu Xun arrive…
"Bunch of ruckus out there, it's like a cult following. What's their story, counsel?" Gan Ning asked Zhou Yu about the anger mob.
"They're just a minor annoyance, it's not important at this time," Zhou Yu answered.
"It sounds so important that the whole thing is direct at us and our games, our workplace," Ling Tong shrugs.
'Thank goodness, as long as it's not fangirls," Lu Xun said.
"Oh stop being a chickwuss with fangirls, you're a teen icon," Xiao Qiao glared at fireboy.
"I'm still learning to deal with it, but…oh man, some girl stalked me yesterday…" Lu Xun whined.
"Aw poor you," Xiao Qiao pats his back.
"I'm sincere to announce that all the Zhao Yun fangirls had died out. Since I'm starting to get stale, thanks to my crappy Masou mode. I thought it will be what I expect. Joining Gongsun Zan on Hao Luo Gate, but I didn't participate the Yellow Turbans and why am I not playable on Zan's force in Battle of Chang Shan and more Yi Ling blues…Liu Chan in every Shu ending just destroyed my popularity entirely," Zhao Yun said.
"It's better that way, as long as that kickass intro is still there to determinate your status as Koei's posterboy!" Wei Yan nodded.
"A good DW5 intro to drawn all the Zhao Yun fangirls to a new host, Cao Pi," Zhao Yun smiled.
"Yeah, just leave it to Cao Pi to deal with all the Ex Zhao Yun fangirls," Gan Ning added.
"Meanwhile, you still have all the attention on fangirls and your pairing with Sun Shang Xiang, murder…" Ling Tong rolleyed.
"Hey at least you have your share of entertainment with the bow princess, chill!" Gan Ning sighed.
Everyone laughed. Suddenly all laughs stop when the figure making its way is an unwelcomed individual.
"Cao Cao…" Zhou Yu muttered. Xiao keeps herself close to Zhou Yu noticing Cao Cao's eye on her every time makes her irritated.
"Ah, Zhao Yun, still don't want to resign your post to join my ranks eh?" Cao Cao stares at the wandering warrior.
"Not until I see what is true in you on your imperial protection of the Han emperor if proven wrong by Lord Liu Bei," Zhao Yun said.
"But, must you still believe everything that guy said? I can tell you Xuande's darkest deepest secrets that will shock all you Shu warriors," Cao Cao said.
"Liu Bei is true to his word, give up trying to persuade him and stop fantasizing my wife!" Zhou Yu argued.
"But, he's still Mr. Propaganda …" Cao Cao gives the bored look at Wei Yan and Zhao Yun. The two Shu offices exchange looks, then look at Cao Cao.
"So…" They both said.
"I hate Liu Bei…that meddling, long eared crybaby sob…" Cao Cao muttered.
"I hate you too," Zhou Yu said.
"Don't hate the playa, hate the game…" Cao Cao said as he turns to look at the figure he always finds the most worth his time, "Hey baby, what's happening?"
"Um…are you talking to me?" Xiao Qiao look dumbfounded at Cao Cao.
"Grr…" Zhou Yu squeezes his fist. Curse Cao Cao and his cheesy charm.
"And she looks so glorious everyday, truly a woman that keeps Wu's long staying kingdom going. I must have her and that'll soon be the end of Wu, mahahaha," Cao Cao though.
"Ahem…" Zhou Yu tries to end Mengde's dreamworld back to reality.
"Oh, so Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires is coming out. I like it when I have more control over my officers," Cao Cao said.
"Heard you can get a more than 20 officers in your force from two ranks," Gan Ning said.
"There are more policies," Zhou Yu said.
"Black…smiths…" Wei Yan acted on his caveman speaking.
"The blacksmiths are refined into those from Xtreme mode," Zhao Yun said.
Sun Shang Xiang enters the mall with the man in her dreams…
"No way…" Gan Ning eyes wided.
"….." Ling Tong stares at the couple.
"Good morning, Liu Bei is coming to join me at the movies," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"Hmph, he always gets to pair a Wu woman…" Cao Cao grumpy grunted.
"Zhao Yun, Wei Yan, it's good to see you both at a time like this. Has Zhuge Liang arrived yet?" Liu Bei asked.
"Nope," Zhao Yun answered.
"Tell me, Lady Sun, why are you pairing up with Mr. Propaganda for the movies? Don't you want to join me at Barnes and Nobles for some tea and books," Cao Cao said.
"But, you already have women everywhere to hit on, I'll just stick with my man. Sorry, I'm taken," Sun Shang Xiang taunted.
"Those shades you're wearing, where did you buy them at, Cao Cao?" Liu Bei asked.
"I'm not telling you! Though, these make good use to get the ladies to wow me," Cao Cao smirk. "Xuande is all boring and I still don't know why Lady Sun sees him as the man in her dreams."
"You're so full of yourself you dolt…" Zhou Yu shrugs.
"Hahaha, too bad you wouldn't live to see the land divided into three," Cao Cao laughed.
"Hey!" Xiao Qiao kicked Cao Cao in the leg.
"Ow owoww! Why are you mean to me, my precious?" Cao Cao whimpered.
"Because you need to get a life!" Xiao Qiao argued.
"I have the best life in three kingdoms," Cao Cao stood proudly.
"Yawn…why can't we change the past?" Gan Ning sighed.
"About your death at the hands of an unimportant officer, Shamoke?" Lu Xun assumed.
"Don't even get me started on that guy and I can't stand those annoying Shamoke fans at GameFAQs!" Gan Ning said.
"I hate Yi Ling…" Zhao Yun said.
"Same…here…." Wei Yan joined.
"Oh come on, it's the first time I really started acting like a great leader," Liu Bei defended.
"Still, big brother, it's the worst battle of the three kingdoms. I'll stick with Jie Ting, since it proven Kongming's overconfident and that idiot Ma Su and the horrified underrateness of me not being a grand commander," Zhao Yun turns away from his lord looking at the Dynasty Warriors 5 wallpaper of him, Zhen Ji, and Cao Pi.
"Ma Su…sucks…" Wei Yan scoffed.
Suddenly, the figure Ma Su pop up…
"Did someone call me?" Ma Su ask curiously.
"Your mom…." Wei Yan crosses his arms.
"What?" Ma Su look confused.
"Hey isn't Ma Su playable in Dynasty Warriors 5 empires?" Lu Xun questioned.
"You can play as the generic officers, even Cheng Pu!" Zhou Yu said.
"Yay! Cheng Pu!" Xiao Qiao excited.
"Ma Su, Cheng Pu, Shamoke, they're all playable in 5 Empires," Ling Tong said.
"And Guo Jia…" Cao Cao starts showing tears in his eyes on his sworn brother.
Everyone stare at Cao Cao, soon Zhen Ji walks in the mall with Diao Chan…
"Hey there," Zhao Yun greeted.
Zhen Ji didn't greet him back and she sit on the wooden chair with Diao Chan restraining her friend's anger.
"What's wrong with her?" Gan Ning asked.
"She's not in good mood, but is excited to get the game today. Well, you might already know who she is angry with," Diao Chan replied.
"Ah and where is the stupid beast?" Cao Cao asked.
"His name is not stupid beast, it's Lu Bu," Diao Chan glared.
"Whatever, just wanted to know how he is doing? Working to improve his studies or still thinking all that True Might crap," Cao Cao said.
"There you go with that, Lu Bu needs to go back to elementary school, garbage," Diao Chan sighed.
"….." Zhen Ji remains quiet, as Zhao Yun didn't stop looking at her.
"So where's Master Zhuge Liang," Ma Su asked.
"He's …everywhere…" Wei Yan replied.
"I'm not talking to you, you moron," Ma Su ranted.
"No…you…moron…ruined…Shu…" Wei Yan said.
"Can't you speak English, I'm aware your grades have gone bad back in the days. The reason why Master Zhuge Liang doesn't gain you any favor rather go out there getting yourself killed and not straight with tactical knowledge," Ma Su said.
"Speak for yourself, Ma Su. All your strategies are already stuff we know. You can't even make a strategy we don't know," Zhao Yun shrugs.
"Haha…hahaha…" Wei Yan laughed.
"You both bore the hell out of me, now where is Zhuge Liang?" Ma Su keeps barking.
"I'm beginning to grow tired of his appearance in my force and I didn't even assign him here," Liu Bei whispered to his beloved Sun Shang Xiang and she nodded.
Suddenly a clap was heard behind the entrance to the mall…
"Master Sima Yi and Zhang He," Cao Cao greeted.
"Well well, look who's here, Ma Su, the annoying Shu second in command of northern campaign and the biggest flop since Meng Da, Hahahah, this is going to be good and Zhuge Liang isn't here yet," Sima Yi praised.
"The most ugliest man I've seen in the face of the battlefield, one who don't know the beauty of strategy," Zhang He said.
"We didn't even bring this one hit wonder with us, so don't ask," Wei Yan said.
"Oh, now you're speaking English," Ma Su shocked.
"Duh…Me…like…engrish…you….can't…understand…" Wei Yan muttered.
"ARGH! All of you are a waste of time with my patient," Ma Su exploded.
Everyone laughed.
Zhen Ji isn't even joining the party as she felt so angry and sad, then suddenly Zhao Yun walks up to her and sat next to her closely. She soon changes her mood quick.
"Darling…" Zhen Ji greeted.
"Glorious…" Zhao Yun greeted back.
Everyone soon look at the two like something strange is happening to them as if they're in some kind of magic spell.
"Zhao Yun? What are you doing?" Liu Bei gasped.
"Yeah, what are you doing sitting next to my daughter in law?" Cao Cao joined.
"I just want to know what is wrong with her. She seems very disappointed with something and I sympathize with that. No, I'm not pulling off some scandal between both of us. We're not making up an affair, honest…" Zhao Yun explained.
"It's alright, I'm feeling much better. I'm so exciting to get the game and the ending editing is back!" Zhen Ji smiled.
"Strange, first she's angry and cold, now she's joyful and happy. Something up with her being near Zhao Yun," Gan Ning whispered to Ling Tong and Lu Xun as they nodded.
"So, where is my son?" Cao Cao asked Zhen Ji.
"He's...um..lets just say, he has to check in something before he gets back with me," Zhen Ji answered.
"Ah…no wonder he's always late with everything. Lazy sob…" Cao Cao sighed.
Sima Yi and Zhang He continue to pick on Ma Su and Wei Yan couldn't stop laughing at the three. Zhen Ji didn't stop looking at Zhao Yun's tenderness and cool appearance and don't know why she growing more and more into him than her husband.
"Yun, you know what to do when you start playing the game," Zhen Ji whispered.
"Yes, I will have Gongsun Zan invade Yuan Shao earlier in the game and obtain you as his strategist and I'll still be grand general on historical mode like in the last DW4 Empires," Zhao Yun replied.
"Don't forget Zhang He and make sure to select me on your own force on Free Mode, they got a free mode on Empires 5 and fictional mode now can freely select any starting officer as ruler," Zhen Ji whispered again.
"What about Cao Pi, wouldn't we have him on our force?" Zhao Yun asked.
"Ha, that guy didn't even like taking orders from anyone plus he don't come in the game till later and I'm always years ahead of him. Don't bother it," Zhen Ji scoffed.
"All right, but I enjoy having such a bold rivalry with him," Zhao Yun grinned.
"His appearance can only make yours seem inferior…." Zhen Ji rolleyed.
"Ahem…" Zhou Yu and Xiao coughed the same time as the two look back to their respectful advisories seeing them strangely like they're really having an affair.
The store manager walks up to open the doors of the video game store and soon the protestors rallied inside the mall shouting comments on Koei and Dynasty Warriors.
"God, tell them to shut up and just get Kingdom Hearts 2 or Metal Gear Solid 3 Substance, or Elder Scrolls 4 Oblivion or Suikoden 5 or Ghost Recon: AW or whatever great games coming out this month on Xbox360 and PS2…" Cao Cao complained.
"Gamers these days…too spoiled, want more and more new stuff and ignoring the true feel of the game which is more important than changing stuff so much on each factors," Sima Yi yawned.
"I concur," Zhang He said.
"What are they expecting Dynasty Warriors to be like, a Grand Theft Auto clone? We already have our share of DW clones like Ninety Nine Nights, Kingdom Under Fire, Devil Kings, the list goes on," Zhou Yu said.
They all nodded and went inside the Ebgames store and get Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires on either two consoles. Since Sima Yi, Zhang He, and Cao Cao are interested in HDTV capability so they get the Xbox360 version. Everyone else get the PS2 version with the ability to unlock some stuff earlier with their DW5 and XL save files.
A few hours later…
"Mmhmm" Cao Pi arrives proudly enters the store. "You there, I will like to get Dynasty Warriors 5 Empires PS2 version."
"We're sorry as all the copies of DW5: Empires have sold out, we apologize for the inconvience. Please check in tomorrow for the next shipments," the store clerk said.
"Damn! All of sudden! Mind you tell me who is the last person to have gotten the last copy," Cao Pi asked.
"Well, the last two people were a guy and that hot woman," he answered.
"This 'hot' woman you're referring to is my wife. I assume, she already brought a copy for two of us. Thanks again," Cao Pi takes his leave to find his wife.
Cao Cao is already at his favorite bookstore with Sima Yi and Zhang He. Zhao Yun and Wei Yan went to the arcades; Gan Ning, Ling Tong, and Lu Xun wander around the mall to check out the ladies and stuff. Zhou Yu, Xiao Qiao, Sun Shang Xiang, and Liu Bei went to the movies. He can see Zhen Ji with Diao Chan at a fashion store.
"Ji, did you bring us a copy of the game?" Cao Pi asked.
"Yes and here it is, hope you'll like the cut scenes of us in the game. Heard there are a lot of them to please you," Zhen Ji grinned.
"Are you going to join me to play the game together at home?" Cao Pi took the bag with the copy before he leaves.
"Right after, I finish checking up something I want to buy with Diao," Zhen Ji replied.
"Alright…geez, she's just going to find something that isn't even top notch in my opinion," Cao Pi thought. He soon left the mall to play the game at the Cao family's mansion.
"Sucker, you can enjoy playing the game alone as when I'm done, I'll be visiting Zhao Yun's house to play DW5: Empires with him," Zhen Ji giggles.
The End