Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist. So cool, so awesome, so not mine.

Yahoo for my cliché story and my OOC characters!

This is the long-requested LeChapter Homunculi.

But before all that, I'll add in a little randomness. Prior to writing this chapter, I saw the movie SwimFan. For those of you who have seen it, it's a pretty weird movie. But I can relate to the crazy blonde (I can't remember her name at the moment). I'm not as obsessive with Ed as she was with, uh… I can't remember his name either, but I can relate. That's all I'm sayin'.

Whatever.

Enjoy this chapter and all of its Homunculi goodness!

Warning: There may be spoilers. I'm not sure what you guys consider to be spoilers.

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Chapter 13

Quite a Sexy Look-Alike

"Ed, what's your deal with Winry?"

I felt the question to be stupid and out-of-the-blue, but it's something I felt like asking. We were still riding the train, and Al had disappeared again.

The blonde looked at me inquisitively. Obviously, in his mind there was no deal with Winry. But he had known her for a very long time before I came along, and I sort of felt like I was taking him away from her. Not like I cared, but…

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it seems like she has sort of a… thing for you."

"Like you do?"

He said it with such a downright smirk that I blushed freely in his face.

"Come on, you can't hide it." he said. "I know how you feel about me."

"Either that," I said, collecting myself. "Or you're just conceited."

Ed made a half-annoyed, half surprised-at-my-comment noise, and turned to gaze out the window.

I smiled. He could guess all the right things if he wanted to, but I'd couldn't reveal anything to him just yet. I knew I would find a way to tell him when the time was right.

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"Central rooms sure are nice."

I was impressed by the quality of the temporary (otherwise known as hotel) rooms Central had to offer. Ed didn't have a mission, but the military was happy to offer him a room for a night a two. That was better than finding a hotel elsewhere.

"Yeah," Ed said. "The beds are nice, too."

He didn't even look at me when he chose to say that, but I heard the laugh in his voice.

I sighed, and walked out of the room, and down the hallway. Passing the corner, I thought I heard a noise that sounded like people trying to move out of sight, but I ignored it. The military was weird, anyway. All I saw were closed doors, so it surprised me when I saw a door that looked as though it had been purposely left open. I'm a very curious person (as I'm sure you can tell), so I stepped into the room. It was pretty plain, with only a few boxes scattered here and there, and peeling wallpaper. Nothing out of the ordinary.

My attention was drawn to quick footsteps coming up behind me. I turned my back to the drab room and saw Ed practically sprinting down the hall towards me.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen?"

"No," Ed said, panting. "But I'm glad that I found you."

"Why?"

He pushed me into the room and slammed the door. I'm kind of afraid of the dark, and seeing how the only light was that which was seeping through the crack under the door, I freaked out a little.

"Hey!" I declared. "What did I tell you about pushing me?"

"Sorry," he whispered. "But I couldn't talk to you in the hall."

"Well, what?"

"I'm sorry for what I said."

So he almost killed himself running just to apologize for that?

"I have a feeling that's not all."

"Yeah."

He moved closer than ever to me, and I felt my heartbeat quicken. What could he possibly want that required such closeness and a dark room? Well, I could guess…

"Rachel, I need to tell you something," he said, sounding amazing and lame at the same time. "But I can't say it."

His face was close, and I became a different person then. If this is what he wanted, then I wouldn't hold back.

"Ed…" I breathed into his neck, my hand to the back of it. I never imagined I could get into such a compromising position with him. Yeah, for some reason, that sounded really dirty.

Our lips met, and the surprising force of the kiss pushed me even farther back against the wall. The first time we kissed, it sure wasn't like this. It was different, in a way. It didn't seem like Ed at all. Little did I know, that because it wasn't.

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, that kiss was courtesy of none other than Envy.

Of course, I didn't discover that until the real Ed kicked down the door, and pulled his momentary twin away from me like a protective brother (or boyfriend) would, before proceeding to try and hit him full-force with his automail arm. But, naturally that didn't work, because Envy changed himself right back to normal and jumped away unscathed.

"What the hell were you doing?"

"Aah, just having a little fun," Envy quipped in his girly little tone.

"What were you thinking, putting your filthy hands on her?"

Envy merely smiled.

"And more than just your hands, I see."

I listened to them blankly. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't Ed. I should have known better than to think someone that perfect would come on to me like that, but the thought was nice while it lasted.

"So why did you?"

"Well, that's for you to decide, Mr. Fullmetal Pipsqueak."

He darted out the door before Ed could jump up and down in short-joke anger. I came slowly back to Earth, noticing that the palm tree was gone. I could do nothing but look at Ed, who seemed to sympathize.

"Come on," he said, and gestured out the door.

I walked shakily to him and followed his lead down the hallway.

"Why did you kiss him?"

He was looking at me.

"I…I thought it was you."

"That's the point I'm trying to make."

I couldn't find the right answer. It wasn't the first time.

I turned the corner, only to be snatched up by Gluttony.

"Help me, Ed!" I screamed.

Too late. The big oaf was already streaking down the hall, me clutched tightly in his grasp.

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Yay, cliffhanger! I'm sorry I couldn't include all of the Homunculi in this chapter, but the next one is solely dedicated to them.

I thank xxdarknessxfallsxx for the support of my original idea for this chapter.

Please review, so you'll motivate my lazy butt to type Chapter 14.