Carth was holding onto Revan so tight, ready to spill out everything Juhani had told him, when the ship came back to life. They sat there staring at each other for a few minutes before Carth loosened his grip and rose.

"I uh, I need to start wiping the computers and coordinating our routes for the contacts Juhani gave us."

"Right, and I'll start packing up everything." She replied, pausing as she watched him moved out of the room. "Carth…" she called out, her eyes opening wide. He stopped and turned around waiting for her to continue. Shaking her head she finally continued, "Nothing, nevermind." He seemed about ready to say something but instead turned and continued out of the room.

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Doubt had begun to creep into Carth's mind. He was no longer sure if telling Revan the truth was the right path to take. Concern that she might do something stupid was followed with worry. If he told her, and she actually slipped to the dark side, then he would have no one to blame but himself.

He was a man of action, one who spent his whole life concentrating on the task as hand, letting everything else go in the process. But, with Revan, it was different. She was not just his lover, she was also the immediate problem. With Morgana, and Dustil, he had be able to bury his feelings for them, putting the Republic's missions first, telling himself it was for their future. But with Revan, the damn Jedi that had complicated his life since the first day he met her, it was not so easy.

His current Republic mission was all but non-existent now, and it had been replaced with a Jedi mission. Although it was also for the sake of the Republic, there were too many spies for him to reveal any of this to those he still trusted in the Republic, namely Admiral Dodonna. No, instead his new mission was for Revan, for the children, to save the galaxy from once again facing Dark Lord Revan's reign and he would have to do it without the Republic's knowledge. There would be no mercy for her if they knew.

Dark Lord Revan, his lover, the mother of this children, the woman he would do anything for. It isn't possible, she won't fall! Yet he couldn't stop the agonizing thoughts that had always plagued him. That darkness is a part of her, I always knew that. I tried to deny it, tried to tell myself, that by her choices, she had become a different person. But yet I always knew, could never forget, that she was who she was because of her dark past. Force Onasi, the Republic or Revan? The galaxy or Revan? Your children or Revan?

As much as he tried to occupy his physical form, downloading the data, coordinating the hyperspace routes for the contacts, still… none of that stopped his mind from churning.

I shouldn't even be on this mission. It goes against everything in the code books! I can't be blinded by love, I have to set priorities. The children are first, Revan is second. If she falls … Oh force, if she falls, can I? Will I be able to do what I must?

His mind drifted back to how easily he had been swayed the night before. When he knew she was not her true self, but still he had let himself be blinded and lured by her kisses. No more of that Onasi! No more of anything Revan – you have to keep your distance, keep your mind focused.

His hand ran through his hair and his face turned into a scowl as he realized just what he was asking of himself. Finding this woman has been my entire focus for years, and now, I'm just supposed to forget all that? And that was even before I knew she was the mother of my children! Damn Juhani for putting me in this situation, damn the Sith, damn everything!

His thoughts were interrupted as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his sitting torso. Standing behind him, Revan leaned over, kissing him on the cheek, "You look deep in thought Onasi."

His whole body tensed at her touch before relaxing right before the kiss rested on his cheek. "Yeah, just trying to organize everything. Develop a plan, you know, be prepared and all."

"You mentioned Juhani gave you some contacts? Where's our first stop?"

"Well, once we get off the Fore Runner and into our own ship, I think the first place we should head is Triatean'k. It's in the closest system and on the path to the other sites." He brought his arms up, moving hers off his chest. Force, I can't concentrate when she's near me, I have to get a grip. She is not the enemy, nor is she my confidante. How can I ever balance the two?

Revan shot him a disapproving glance before moving towards a panel of controls. "You … you feel differently towards me?"

"NO" he shot out, standing up and facing her. "It's just, I'm just busy trying to figure this all out Revan. I'm sorry, I guess I am just a bit preoccupied right now." He ran a hand through his hair again, silently cursing himself for acting like a complete idiot. He was trying to think of something he could say to justify his actions when she waved a hand at him, brushing him off.

"No matter, I trust you'll figure it out." She moved away, slipping out of the door before he could recover enough to say anything else.

Who was that? Which Revan was that? His mind raced trying to make a determination. She seems so unconcerned, not the Revan I know, but yet… what more is there for her to do right now? Well, besides asking about the information that Juhani gave, you mean Onasi? Or what you were about to tell her before? Or our plan for rescuing Aaron and Ariana? Or why you pushed her away just now?

Sithspawn, is she deliberately not asking because she doesn't want to seem too obvious or is it because she is testing me? Either way, either Revan, would play the same game. She knows something is wrong and she is just waiting. But which Revan is wating?

He let out an exasperated sigh that was so loud it even startled him. Still paranoid, Onasi! And now I can't even trust the woman I love … maybe we don't have a future.