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Lying here in Thane's embrace, feeling the aftermath of their pleasure still coursing through her limbs, was everything Shepard had imagined it would be and more. She looked up at him, smiling, seeing his face framed against a background of stars as the Normandy flew through space.
"Siha." He bent and kissed her temple, and then her cheek, and finally her lips, a slow, lingering kiss.
"Thane, I—" Juniper hesitated, her heart pounding. She'd never said this to a man before—hadn't said it to anyone, in fact, since her parents were killed on Mindoir. At last she gathered her courage and managed to get the words out. "I love you."
"I love you, too." The words came easily, naturally, as though they said them to each other every day. Shepard must have frowned at that, although she wasn't aware of it, because Thane looked at her curiously. "What is it? Should I not have said so?"
"No, you just—I think maybe for humans it's more of an … occasion? The first time you say that. Maybe it's supposed to be a revelation, I don't know. I must be terribly bad at this."
"Ah. I understand. And yet, how could I not have already known? It's in the way you look at me and the way you speak to me. We would not be here together as we are if you didn't love me."
"I didn't think I was so transparent." She found she didn't mind, though, not in this instance.
"Perhaps you are so only to me." He bent his head and kissed her again, softly.
"I've never said that to anyone before," she whispered when he pulled away, shifting to his side next to her.
"Haven't you? Not even to—" He stopped himself.
"Kaidan," Shepard finished. "Garrus told you?"
"Some."
"I wondered. No, I never said it to Kaidan. I might have, if things had continued, but then, I died, and … when I was back, it was too late."
"Do you still? Care for him?"
"Yes," she said, wanting to be honest, and hoping he would understand. "But he couldn't understand my working with Cerberus, and I couldn't blame him for that. He's a soldier, Alliance to the core."
"And that was more important to him than you were?"
Shepard shrugged. "It's who he is. How could I ask him to be something other than himself and still claim to care about him?"
"I suppose. You are very generous."
"I don't know about that." She looked over at him with curiosity. "What about Irikah? What would she think of … us?"
"She would have been appalled at the way I sank into my battle sleep after her death. No doubt she would think you were the best thing that could have happened to me." He reached for her hand. "Which you are."
She smiled, wrapping her fingers around his. "Is it strange to carry both of us in your heart? With your memory, she must still be very real to you, very present, and yet here I am, too."
"Mm." Thane looked past her, his eyes on the fish darting through the water as he considered the question. "It is certainly nothing I had expected. I treasure my memories of Irikah—but I treasure the time I have with you, as well. While you are different from each other in many ways, you share a spirit, a certain … bravery, which makes me think you would have liked each other. That makes it easier."
"I understand." Would Kaidan and Thane like each other? They were very different men—but they had similarities, as well. Both possessed tremendous self-control, both were deliberate and measured in speech and action. Perhaps they would. They were unlikely to cross paths, at least, not anytime soon, so it wasn't worth worrying about.
How quickly things had changed! She wasn't certain how long it had been since he came to her room, but now here they were lying naked together in her bed, talking so easily and intimately. She wondered how he felt, if he still struggled against his desire to fall into battle sleep and avoid the pain of living knowing how brief the time would be.
"Thane?"
"Hm?" He brought their joined hands up to his mouth and kissed the backs of her fingers.
"Do you regret it? This?"
His lips stilled on her skin. At last he said, "No. Of course not. How could I? This was, is, everything I have longed for since—possibly since the moment we met. I would be lying if I were to suggest that I have completely conquered my fear. There is a great deal of pain in allowing myself to reach for you, knowing that all too soon I will have to leave you. But you have been right all along, as you so often are. The pain of knowing what could be and never experiencing it was worse."
Relieved, reassured, she turned to her side, pressing herself against him. "Good. I'm glad." She reached for his mouth with hers, the kiss warming and deepening as their bodies shifted against each other. "What if I keep you too busy to think for the foreseeable future?" she murmured against his cheek as her fingers explored the softer, more crinkly skin along the side of his neck.
Thane shivered at the touch, sighing in his pleasure. "I have no objection. It might even be good for me. Your Dr. Chakwas has been encouraging me to take this course for some time now."
"Remind me to give her a raise." Shepard let her fingers drift lower, across his chest and over his abdomen.
"She does seem to have your—ah!—best interests at heart." His voice was thickening, roughening, with every stroke of her fingers against his most sensitive flesh.
"So do you, it seems." She kissed him again, even as her hand slid up and down, teasing and enticing.
"Oh, yes."
Those were the last coherent words either of them said for quite some time.