Chapter Nineteen
Alan woke his son carefully, it seemed to take him so long to become aware of his surroundings. Sandy had explained it would take time, they needed to wake him every four or so hours, make him eat and drink and then let him sleep again. This had been their routine for two days now. As much as Sandy had reassured him Alan was still deeply concerned. He wanted to talk to Don, yet he didn't seem able to hold any conversation for too long. He would try, but his sentence's became monosyllabic after only a few minutes, his eyes dropping closed as he drifted to sleep to the sound of his father's voice. Don had tried to stay awake longer, but he was so tired. So tired even though all he wanted was to talk to his father, talk to Charlie, anything but sleep. His nightmares had disappeared, a novelty he had savoured, but now there was a new dream, not as severe as the previous one, but just as heart wrenching.
"Donnie, time to eat son"
Alan helped Don into a sitting position and placed the tray on his lap. He filled the spoon with the mushroom soup and raised the food to Don's lips.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok Dad"
"Not what I asked Donnie"
"I'm tired of being tired if that's what you mean."
"You in any pain?"
Don shook his head, accepted another spoonful of soup and willed himself to continue the conversation. He could feel sleep calling him back but he ignored the voice and focused on his father.
"No pain Dad"
"What about the dreams?"
"I haven't had that nightmare if that's what you mean"
"But?"
Don sighed, accepted another mouthful of soup and opted for the truth, his father saw through him anyway so it wasn't like he could pretend. He'd had a different dream the last few times he'd slept, this one he was locked in a cell, the little girl in another cell further down a dark corridor. Through the bars he could see a playground and hear laughter and child's voices. Yet above it all he heard quiet whimpers. So alone, so sad. She was singing in a whisper between her cries.
He flies so high up in the sky
Out of reach of human eye.
And the only time that he touches the ground
Is when that little bird
Is when that little bird
Is when that little bird dies
"I keep dreaming of her Dad, of Jessica, she's so lost and I can't get to her"
To Alan's surprise Don held his gaze as he spoke.
"How do you save someone who's died?"
"You start by saving yourself Donnie, bit by bit it will get better, I promise"
Charlie stood outside the door and listened to his father and brother talk. How could he help? How do you help someone accept and overcome something they had no control over to begin with? How do you save someone from demons not theirs to be haunted by? He walked to the garage, Larry had stopped by for help with an equation so Charlie had run to the solarium to retrieve his books. Stopped when he'd heard his father's voice.
'What about the dreams?'
Charlie wished he could reach inside his brothers mind and remove the memories tainting his soul. There had to be something he could do to help. He made his way back down to the garage, his forehead creased with concentration and worry.
"Every thing ok Charlie? Don's ok isn't he?" Larry stood in front of Charlie, he'd arrived an hour ago, had watched as Charlie scribbled equations while he told him about Don.
"He sleeps most of the time, got to stay in bed for the next few days and then I think Sandy will let him walk around a bit"
"Sandy's really keeping a tight leash on Don isn't she?"
"Oh yeah, on all of us. We can barely go four hours before she insists on food"
"She seems like a lovely woman Charles. Perfect match for your father."
"She is something isn't she?"
Larry faced Charlie and again asked him if everything was ok.
"Yeah, he's fine, Don's ok. Dad's giving him lunch"
"Charles?"
"I don't know how to help him, he still seems haunted by this girl"
"Did you think the emotions would vanish once he had her name Charlie?"
"Yeah" Charlie laughed, " I guess I did"
"Charles, what Don is experiencing, to me, seems akin to grief"
Larry sat back down on the couch and picked up the sandwich Sandy had insisted on making him.
"What do you mean?" Charlie sat opposite him on the table edge.
"Well, you say Don feel's responsible for this girl, for finding her. He knows how her story has ended, he can't pass on those feelings to the family, can't offer his condolences to her mother. Charles it sounds to me as if Don is experiencing the grief for the girl on behalf of the family he can't find."
Charlie soaked in Larry's words, his mind raced with numbers and theories, anything to find the possible answer to his brother's problem. Grief, it seemed so right, his brother was grieving for the girl. Unable to put this behind him, carrying the burden of her memory alone.
"How can I help him?" Charlie's voice broke as he looked at Larry for an answer.
"Charles, how do you help anyone with grief? The real freedom is the unobtainable connection with the deceased."
Unobtainable connection. An idea began to formulate in Charlie's mind. His heart knew the course of action was the correct path to walk, his gut instinct seconded the idea. He wiped the numbers from the chalk board and began writing a new equation. A dust cloud following the movement of the chalk across the black slate.
Larry smiled warmly at his friend's back, finished his sandwich and placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder.
"Call me when you need to Charles, you'll find the answer. Of that I'm sure"
He left the garage and said his goodbyes to Sandy , Alan came into the kitchen carrying the empty soup bowl.
"Hey Larry, Charlie finish your problems?"
"Actually Alan I think I helped him to begin a search for the answer to his problem."
"Oh really?"
"I wouldn't expect him out of the garage for awhile"
"Did you enjoy your lunch Larry?"
"Yes, it was lovely, thank you Sandy"
"I've never made such a sandwich before you know, no crust and only cheese spread. Made the whole thing look so…bland"
"I appreciate the food, honestly it was just the way I like it"
Alan saw Larry to the door and walked back to the kitchen to find Sandy washing up.
"Oh no, you shouldn't be doing that, you made the lunch"
"It's fine, help me dry?"
Alan picked up a cloth and began to dry the plates and bowls.
"He eat everything?"
"Yes, yes he did. He even managed a conversation"
"He'll get stronger Alan, bit by bit"
Alan gazed out to the garage, picturing the concentration on his youngest boys face, picturing the speed with which he was writing, hands attempting to keep up with his mind's speed of thought.
"He's not the son I'm worried about at the moment"
"Charlie has been in that garage for a while"
"He gets stuck into something and loses track of time, I doubt we'll see him until much later"
"In that case, how about we pop out and get the duck for dinner, I think it's about time you cooked for me don't you?"
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Megan put the phone down and replayed the conversation with Charlie in her mind. He was on the right path, definitely. All her training and instincts stood by his idea.
The team had submitted the case earlier that day to the DA. All statements completed, all evidence logged. Out of their hands now.
They'd all been disheartened when Alan had called to say Don was back in the hospital. Colby had been the first to break the silence.
"He did the right thing, back in the hospital or not it was the right thing to do"
"But we're still no closer to finding the girl"
David had been through files by hand, sifting through the alarming amount of missing children. Finding no Jessica which matched the girl on the tape.
"He's going to be confined to his bed for the next week. Alan says we can visit once Don's stronger. Until then he wants him to do nothing more than sleep."
Megan took a file from David and sifted through, knowing nothing new would jump out at her but still feeling the need to check. Don needed closure on this, and they needed him back. She'd mulled over in her mind the things she could say to him, to try to remove the pain but always came up the same thing. Time. It was going to take time.
Charlie had called her for help with his idea. The moment the words had reached her ears she knew he had found the solution.
She picked up the phone and dialled.
"Hello? Hi , yes I'd like to make an appointment"