A/N: Thanks for continuing to read, review, and follow! I appreciate it. I'm going to offer a warning with this chapter. If you know anything about the character of Bianca, then you are aware of the traumatic event that happened to her when she was younger and one of the main purposes for the Miranda Center. This chapter will focus on those events. While Bianca has healed, it doesn't take much for those wounds to be re-opened. This warning is here to prevent any possible triggers for anyone reading this. I'm sorry for updating late, but you do get a nice long chapter this time. Thanks for the thoughts on my tooth. I did have to get a root canal, but it was actually less painful than I thought it would be. I just need to get the crown patched up, and then, this should all be over.
My thoughts are with those that are in Hurricane Irma's path. Please be safe!
This chapter picks up where the last one left off. Hope you enjoy this update!
/
"Hi, Marissa. What's going on with Bianca?"
"Hi, Kendall. What did you hear exactly?" Marissa wasn't surprised that Kendall heard something because word travelled lightning fast in Pine Valley.
"Honestly? Not a lot. I saw Jessica picking up the kids from school, but I didn't get a chance to say anything to her. I thought it was a little odd that she was picking them up instead of you or Bianca, but I really didn't think much about it. That was until Greenlee got a call from someone she knows that works at the hospital. She said that Bianca was there earlier on business for the Miranda Center. She said that when Binx left that she didn't look very well. So, what's up?"
"First of all, I was planning on calling you and filling you in on everything. It was going to be later though because I needed to make sure that everyone here, particularly Bianca, was okay before I did."
That put Kendall on high alert. "Is Bianca okay?"
Marissa thought for a moment before she answered her sister-in-law. "She's getting there. Let me tell you what I know so far. Angie called Bianca and asked her to come over to the hospital to help with a case, and I don't need to tell you what type of case it was."
"No, you don't. Go on."
"She was at the hospital for several hours helping out and didn't eat anything while she was there. The stress and no food brought on a migraine. She asked Jessica to pick up the kids, and thankfully, she was able to. That allowed Bianca to come straight home, take something for the migraine, and try to get a little sleep. Bianca ended up having a flashback. It's not surprising when you think about it. The whole day was basically one huge trigger for her. Before I got home, Miranda went to wake Bianca up and heard her through our bedroom door. She was crying, saying 'no' and 'stop'."
"Oh no."
"Yeah. Thankfully, Miranda didn't go in. She was going to get Jessica to see if she could help when I got home. I was able to wake Bianca up and calm her down. She didn't want to talk about what happened at the hospital so I didn't push her. You know as well as I do that could do more harm than good. So, I don't have a lot of details, not yet at least. Bianca did say that she would tell me everything later, when we're alone and she's ready. Right now, I can tell Bianca's trying to focus on the kids and not what happened at the hospital. She's giving herself a break which I think is good for her. I wanted her to get some more sleep earlier to help her get rid of the migraine, and she agreed, at first. Then, she changed her mind. I can tell she's a little scared because she could have another flashback. Again, I didn't press. Bianca doesn't need any more stress today."
"I think you're handling it right. What's she doing?"
"At this moment, she's in the family room with Danny. You know your nephew. He can always make her smile."
"Just like his Mama. So, what about Miranda? How much did she overhear? How did she react? Is she okay?"
"Like I said before, she fortunately didn't go into our bedroom and see Bianca before she had a chance to gather herself."
"Was it bad?"
"It was … it was rough." Marissa's voice cracked with emotion. It tore her apart to see Bianca like that. "I swear if that bastard wasn't already dead, I would kill him myself for what he did to her."
"You're not the only one, Marissa. Trust me on that."
"I know. Because she didn't go in our bedroom, Miranda only heard bits and pieces, but damn if your niece isn't smart and extremely perceptive. I did convince her that Bianca's migraine caused her to have a nightmare. I hate lying to her, but Miranda is not ready to find out what really happened. She's too young."
"Speaking from personal experience, I don't know that you can ever be fully prepared for that. I agree with you about Miranda though. Put it off for as long as you can. When you and Binx are ready to tell her, I'll be there."
"Thanks, Kendall. I know this is rough on you."
"It is. It brings up some painful memories for me personally. What makes it even worst though is seeing Bianca in pain like this. I love her. She's my little sister." Kendall took a breath to collect herself. "How are you doing?"
"It hurts like hell. She's in pain, and there's really not a helluva lot I do to take it away. I feel useless."
"You can't change what happened, none of us can. But you do help her, Marissa. Please believe me on that. I don't want you to doubt it for one minute. You're there for her. You listen. There's no judgement. There's only love and support. You give her exactly what she needs, and if you were to ask Bianca that, she would tell you the same exact thing. So, don't be hard on yourself."
"Thanks, Kendall."
"You're welcome. Now, what do you need from me? Do you need me to come over?"
"Honestly? No, it's probably better if it's just us tonight. The kids are doing a great job distracting Bianca right now, and if more people come over, she'll feel like she has to entertain them, even though you are family and she knows you wouldn't expect her to. It's added pressure she doesn't need."
"You're probably right. What about the kids? Do you need me to take them to school?"
"Susan's going to take care of that for us. I called her on my way home and asked her. So, that's covered. I also asked Jan and Ellie to rearrange our schedules in case neither of us goes in to work tomorrow."
"Good idea. I have a strong suspicion that neither of you will be going in."
"Yeah, me too. There is one thing you can do for me, and it's big."
"Anything. What do you need? Oh wait. You need me to call Mom, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. I was going to call her later too. It would really help if you could call her for me though. You know your Mom. She can be hard to get off the phone sometimes, and I need to focus on Bianca tonight."
"Yes, you do, and you're right about Mom. Okay, I'll call her, and ask that she not call you guys tonight. That's all the time I can give you though. There's no way I'll be able to stop her from checking on Bianca tomorrow. Just so you know, the same goes for me."
Marissa chuckled. "I figured as much. I should get back to everyone."
"Okay. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."
"I won't."
"And give my Bianca my love."
"I will definitely do that. Thanks, Kendall."
"You're welcome, Marissa. Oh, is it okay if I tell Greenlee what's going on? She was at school too and saw Jessica. Plus, her friend told her about Bianca being at the hospital. She's going to want to know what's going on."
"I don't see why you can't tell her. She loves Bianca."
"Yes, she does. Okay, I'll let you go. I know you'll take good care of my sister."
"I will."
/
After dinner, the kids finished up their homework with Bianca helping when needed. Danny and Max stayed close to Bianca throughout the evening. It was as if the little boy and faithful dog sensed she needed their attention. So while Max stood guard, Danny made her laugh. Marissa kept an eye on her wife as well and could tell she was feeling a little better. Bianca wasn't nearly as pale as she had been when Marissa had arrived home, and the brunette didn't wince as much when the kids had gotten a little loud. The kids wanted to watch a movie when their homework was finished, and their mothers agreed but only after they had taken their baths and changed into their pajamas. When they returned to the family room, Marissa made everyone hot chocolate with the exception of Danny who enjoyed his regular bottle as he sat on Bianca's lap.
Halfway through the movie, Danny, to no one's surprise, fell asleep. The movie was paused while Bianca took him up to bed, and when she returned, it was started back up. The kids went to bed when the movie was over. Gabby requested an original bedtime story from her Ma who agreed. AJ and Miranda were getting to the age where they were getting too old for bedtime stories, but that night, they felt the need to remain close to their Mom for a little while longer so they joined their mothers in Gabby's room and listened along with their little sister.
Once the story was finished, the kids said goodnight to their mothers and settled into their beds.
/
Bianca waited for her wife in the couple's bedroom while Marissa locked up. Compared to how she felt when she had gotten home earlier, the brunette was feeling a great deal better. Being around her family was simply the best medicine for her, and it had allowed her to temporarily push what happened at the hospital to the back of her mind. Now with the kids in bed however, Bianca knew she would have to face it, and she wasn't looking forward to it. In fact, she was dreading it. She was nervous, anxious, and scared. The emotions coursing through Bianca also caused her to feel weak and ashamed. She wanted nothing more than to just forget what happened earlier, and bury herself under the covers. No matter how tempting it was to do just that, Bianca knew she couldn't. She had to face what happened and talk about it. Specifically, she needed to talk about it with Marissa. Her wife hadn't pushed and had been patient and given her the time and space Bianca needed, and she was beyond grateful for that. Experience had taught her however that it was only a temporary fix. Keeping the emotions bottled up would hold the flashbacks and nightmares at bay for only so long. To stop them from plaguing her, she needed to discuss them, and Marissa would give her the love and support she needed and would listen without judgement.
To keep herself busy while she waited, Bianca got ready for bed. By the time she was done, Marissa walked in and closed the door behind her.
"Hey."
"Hey. I need just a few more minutes."
Marissa understood. "Okay. I'll go change, and we'll talk whenever you're ready."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." The redhead grabbed her pajamas and popped into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she rejoined Bianca in their bedroom. She found her wife in bed, clearly lost in thought.
Bianca glanced up when she felt the bed dip as Marissa got in next to her.
Marissa smiled softly. "How's your migraine?"
"Better. The medicine definitely helped. What helped even more though was just being with you and the kids, and Max too."
"Yeah, Max knew something was going on. I'm glad you're feeling better. I know how awful those migraines can be."
Bianca nodded, and nothing was said for several more minutes. She appreciated Marissa giving her the time she needed.
"So, you talked to Kendall?" Marissa had told her Kendall had called earlier, and with the kids around, she was only able to give her a brief synopsis of the call.
"I did, and she was going to talk to your Mom."
"That explains why neither of them called, and I'm glad they didn't."
"I figured you could use the break. Kendall asked if it was okay if she told Greenlee too, and I said it was."
"Yeah, that's fine." Bianca took a deep breath and turned to face Marissa. "I'm ready."
"Take all the time you need."
"You know that Angie called and asked me to go to the hospital and help with a patient. I know I don't have to tell you why she needed me."
Marissa simply nodded.
"When I got there, Angie gave me the particulars of the case. She's young, just about the same age I was. It was a brutal attack, and she was unconscious when they took her to the hospital. When she woke up, she was scared, confused, and hurting physically and emotionally. She didn't want to let anyone near her, to touch her. When I looked at her, I saw myself. I managed to push that aside for a little while and talk with her. I was able to get her to allow Angie to examine her and to run some tests. Things started to close in on me when they took her up to be x-rayed, and I had time to think. I couldn't help her anymore at that point. I knew I would do more harm than good to both of us. I had someone assigned to her case, and after I turned things over to them, I came home. When you woke me up, I was having a flashback, but you already knew that."
"I did."
"Everything around helping her triggered it. Like I said earlier, I could see myself in her. I was right back there. I could feel him, smell him, see him. That smug look. He wanted to hurt me, take everything away from me, destroy me. I almost let him."
"You didn't though. He didn't destroy you. You were too strong. You still are."
"I don't feel like it though, not today." Bianca shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry about?"
"I know you were worried about me. I hate that."
"Bianca, you don't have to apologize to me. Was I worried about you? Yes, but that's not your fault. None of this is. And I'm going to worry about you. Nothing will change that. I can't help it. I love you. I also know that you worry about me."
Bianca nodded. "You're right. I do. Oh god, I'm a mess."
Marissa smiled gently. "Maybe, but you're my mess, and I love every part of you, from the messy to the almost perfect."
"Almost perfect?" A small smile formed on Bianca's face.
"Yep, almost. Perfect is boring, and you, my love, are anything but boring." Marissa squeezed Bianca's hand. "We promised in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. You know me. I'm nothing if not a woman of my word so there's no way in hell you're getting rid of me."
"You have to admit though that this is a lot. I just feel damaged, broken sometimes."
"No, I don't have to admit that. I wouldn't change one thing about you. No wait, scratch that. If I could do one thing, I would take away your pain."
"But you can't."
"No, unfortunately, I can't. So, I'm going to hold on tight until this storm passes. Would you or have you done any less for me?" It was actually a rhetorical question. Bianca had been there for Marissa when she had bad days. They were different from the ones that Bianca had. Marissa's dealt with Krystal and the decision she made after giving birth to her and Babe. The redhead didn't really have a problem with being given up for adoption. Marissa knew it couldn't have worked out better for her. In Roy and Lydia Tasker, she had parents that loved her, and while they were by no means wealthy, Marissa didn't want for anything. No, she couldn't have asked for better parents. What she had a problem with was her being sold while Krystal decided to keep Babe. Marissa couldn't help but wonder why her? Was there something wrong with her that made Krystal want her sister more? Why wasn't she good enough? Questions like that didn't help with one's self-confidence. They made Marissa doubt herself at times. There was also the fact that the money Krystal was given for her was used to support Krystal and Babe. That made the redhead feel like she was merely a means to an end for her birth mother. For the most part, Marissa was able to deal with all of that, but sometimes, the feelings would be triggered. Usually, this happened when Krystal would go on and on about Jenny, another daughter she chose to keep. When this happened, Bianca helped Marissa through it, just like she was doing now for her wife.
Bianca knew the answer to that question, rhetorical or not. Of course she would do exactly what Marissa was doing for her. Bianca would go to hell and back for Marissa, and they both knew it. "No, I wouldn't. I love you."
"And I love you too. What can I do for you?"
"Could you hold me?"
Marissa smiled and opened her arms. "Of course. Come here."
Once Bianca was in her wife's arms, she felt the stress and strain of the day begin to ease. After a few minutes, Bianca began to talk some more about not only what happened at the hospital but also her flashback. Marissa continued to hold her wife and listen.
/
Marissa turned off her alarm as soon as it had sounded the next morning. She glanced down and was relieved to find Bianca snuggled into her side and sleeping peacefully. It had been a long night. The couple talked for hours before Bianca attempted to go to sleep. It was not successful. She experienced another flashback, and Marissa woke her up, and they talked some more. Exhaustion finally consumed Bianca, and she fell asleep again, albeit fitfully. Marissa stayed awake, and ran her fingers through Bianca's hair as she softly sang 'Forevermore'. The song worked its magic and Bianca eventually calmed down. It was then and only then that Marissa had allowed herself to sleep. Now, it was morning, and she was exhausted. After checking the time again, she determined that she had maybe gotten, at most, two hours sleep. Marissa wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but she knew she couldn't. She had to get the kids up and ready for school and get them breakfast. Danny would be hungry too. Marissa also needed to call Jan and Ellie to let them know that she and Bianca would be staying home. If she was exhausted, there was no doubt in her mind that Bianca would be even more so. Marissa got out of bed, being careful not to disturb her wife. She then gently kissed Bianca before putting on her robe and heading out of the bedroom to start her day.
Her first stop was the kitchen. Max greeted her as she walked into the room to start the coffeemaker. Marissa would need caffeine to get her through this day. She reached down and scratched behind one of his ears. "Hey, boy. Are you ready to go out?" Max responded with a short bark and wag of his tail. "Okay. I'll be back in a couple of minutes to let you back in. Your breakfast will be ready by then." Marissa unlocked the back door, and Max rushed outside. After filling his dishes with food and water, the redhead turned to her next task, waking up the kids and getting them moving.
Marissa started with Miranda. Her oldest daughter woke up immediately.
"Good morning, Mimo."
"Morning, Ma. How's Mom?"
"Better."
"Is she awake?"
"No, she's still sleeping. Yesterday was pretty rough on her so she could use the sleep."
Miranda nodded. "Yeah. How are you?"
Marissa smiled softly and hugged the thoughtful girl. "I'm okay. A little tired, but nothing I can't handle. You doing okay?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Okay. Why don't you start getting ready? I need to get your brothers and sister up."
"I'll help with Gabby after I get dressed."
"Thank you. That would be a big help."
"You're welcome." Miranda smiled. She could tell her Ma was tired and was glad she could help her a little.
Surprisingly, AJ and Gabby woke up without incident as well. They were usually a little harder to get up, but that day, they seemed to sense Marissa could use an easy morning.
With the older children up and moving, Marissa went to get Danny. She smiled when she found her youngest standing in his bed waiting for her to get him. He greeted her with a big smile as he started to jabber away.
"Good morning, Danny. Let's get you out of there and get you a new diaper."
/
The kids joined Marissa and Danny in the kitchen once their teeth and hair were brushed and they were dressed. Danny was in his highchair and smiled brightly when he saw his brother and sisters. The older kids helped set the table and get drinks while Marissa finished making their pancakes. Susan arrived a short time later and joined the family for breakfast. When it was time to leave, the kids were a little disappointed that they didn't get to see their Mom before they left, but they understood when Marissa explained that she really needed the rest. She also assured them that they would see her later that day when they got home from school.
Marissa walked the kids to the front door, hugged them, and told them to have a good day. She then turned to their faithful babysitter.
"Thanks for taking them, Susan."
"You're welcome, and I'm more than happy to pick them up this afternoon."
"You are an absolute lifesaver."
"I try." Susan smiled. "You're not going into the office today, are you?"
Marissa shook her head. "No, I'm not, and neither is Bianca. I need to call our offices and let them know. I'll see you later."
"I'll see you later. Oh, and thanks for breakfast. My Mom will be relieved to know that I had a good, home-cooked meal. She worries that I eat too much fast food even though I tell her that's not true."
The redhead chuckled. "She's your mom. I can speak from personal experience that she's always going to worry."
Susan sighed. "Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what she said. Later." Susan waved as she headed to her car.
/
Marissa checked on Bianca and was relieved to find her wife still sleeping peacefully. God knew that Bianca needed it after the emotional toll the previous day had taken on her. Marissa quietly closed the bedroom door and padded down the hallway and to the kitchen to clean up from breakfast. After she called Jan and Ellie, she made herself another cup of coffee and then headed to the family room with Danny to enjoy a little quiet. Marissa laid a blanket on the floor and placed her son on it. He grinned up at her as he grabbed his stuffed tiger first and then a firetruck, both Christmas presents. Marissa smiled at her son as he played happily. No sooner had she truly started to relax than there was a knock on the door. Marissa groaned. She had a feeling of who was on the other side of the door, and while she loved them dearly, the redhead really wished they hadn't dropped by at that moment. Marissa got up and checked the door viewer. With her suspicions confirmed, she opened the door and greeted Erica, Kendall, Lexie, Greenlee, and Bri.
"Good morning, Ladies. Come on in. I see you've brought playmates for Danny."
"We did. Kendall and I haven't been to the office yet. We came straight here from dropping the kids off at school." Greenlee said as took on Bri's coat and then placed her daughter next to Danny on the blanket.
"We saw Susan there so we figured now was a good time to stop over." Kendall said as followed Greenlee over to the blanket with Lexie and removed her coat.
Marissa raised an eyebrow as she took Erica's coat.
"They called me on their way over and picked me up. I actually would have been here a little earlier if I hadn't waited for them. How is Bianca?" Erica asked.
Kendall looked around the room. "Where is Bianca?"
"She is asleep."
"Still?" Greenlee asked. She knew it wasn't like Bianca to sleep this late.
"Yes, she really needs the extra rest. Before we get started, would you all like some coffee?" Marissa asked.
"That would be wonderful. Let me help." Greenlee offered.
"Okay." Marissa glanced at her in-laws and waited for them to answer her unasked question.
"We'll let Bianca sleep." Kendall looked at her mother. "Won't we?"
Erica rolled her eyes. As much as she wanted to check on youngest daughter in that moment, she also understood Marissa's silent request to let Bianca rest. "Yes. We will be right here."
"Thank you. We'll be back in a couple of minutes." Marissa grabbed her now empty mug and led Greenlee to the kitchen.
/
Bianca slowly opened her eyes and immediately noticed that she was alone. She glanced around the room and didn't see any sign of Marissa. Bianca checked the time and was surprised to see how late it was. She had gotten a few hours of sleep but had to admit that she was still tired. Even though the previous day had wiped her out physically and emotionally, Bianca had found it hard to go to sleep and had tossed and turned for a good chunk of the night. As a result, she knew that her wife hadn't slept either. As she thought about the previous night, the last thing she remembered was Marissa singing to her. Her voice was soft and comforting, and most of all, it was loving. It was that combination that had finally allowed Bianca to feel safe enough to sleep somewhat peacefully. The brunette wouldn't mind going back to sleep, but she didn't feel right doing so. Marissa had gotten the kids up and ready for school and was currently taking care of Danny on less sleep than her. No, it was time for Bianca to get up and help her wife. Plus, she needed to call her office and let them know that she wouldn't be in. Bianca put on her robe and padded down the hallway. She paused before she entered the family room when she heard her mother and sister talking, clearly about what had happened yesterday.
/
When they were alone, Kendall looked at her mother again. "Marissa looks exhausted."
Neither woman had missed the dark circles under Marissa's eyes, her slightly disheveled appearance, or somber demeanor.
"Yes, she does. It must have been a bad night for Bianca. Well, and for Marissa too." Erica stated as she watched her three youngest grandchildren play happily together. It was her fervent wish that they would never suffer like their mothers had.
"You're right. I'm glad she had Susan take the kids to school. I wish she would've called earlier. I could've come over and helped her some."
"I am sure she would have called if she felt she needed the help. It would appear however that Marissa had everything under control earlier. She could very well hit a wall later however when she has time to not think about everything that has happened." Erica observed.
"True. I'm sure Marissa is running on fumes." Kendall knew this wasn't the first time that Marissa had been there for Bianca during one of her flashbacks. Her sister-in-law knew the best way to handle them, what to do and what to say to help Bianca through them. To the best of Kendall's knowledge, Bianca hadn't had one in quite some time. Knowing that told her that yesterday's case had to have been particularly difficult for her sister. "I just worry about Bianca."
"So do I. These incidents take a tremendous toll on her. Bianca does wonderful work at the Center, but I can't help but think that they take advantage of her sometimes. Why did Angie ask for her? Couldn't someone else have handled that situation? Look at what it did to Bianca."
/
Greenlee studied the redhead as she set about grabbing mugs and everything else needed for coffee. She didn't miss the bags under her eyes, and Greenlee was concerned about her friend.
"Marissa, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Ask away."
"How are you?" Greenlee cared about Bianca a great deal and was worried about her, but she was also worried about Marissa.
"Me?"
"Yeah, you. I hate to tell you this, but you kind of look like crap."
Marissa blinked and then laughed. "Gee, thanks, Greenlee. You know how to make a girl feel good."
"I'm not going to apologize, you know."
"Yeah, I know, and I have no doubt about how I look. It doesn't matter though. What matters to me is that Bianca is doing better and is resting."
"I understand, and I'm relieved to hear that. I also know that she is your first concern. The thing is though that you have to take care of yourself too. You're no good to Bianca or the kids if you don't." Seeing that Marissa wasn't exactly sold on her argument, Greenlee tried another tact that she knew would work. "Let me ask you this. What would Bianca say?"
Marissa scowled. "That's not fair. She wouldn't be happy. Look, it's not like I could do anything else. Bianca needed me, and there was no way that I wasn't going to be there for her."
"I know. Just ask for help if you need it though, okay?"
"Okay. I will. Thanks."
"You're welcome. Ready to deal with Erica and Kendall?"
"Yeah, I am. Let's do it." Marissa picked up the tray that had everything on it and headed back to the family room.
/
Bianca was about to come out from her hiding spot but stopped when she heard Marissa and Greenlee join the other two women.
/
Once everyone was comfortable, Marissa relayed the details as she knew them from Bianca.
"Damn, the girl sounds a lot like Bianca." Kendall sighed. "It's no wonder she was triggered."
"Yeah, I don't know how she does it. I don't think I could." Greenlee said.
"I don't like it. I don't like seeing Bianca in pain. It's not good for her or for you. It's just not healthy for either of you. We can all see that you are exhausted, and I'm sure Bianca is even more so. There has to be something we can do." Erica's frustration was clearly evident.
Bianca had had enough and decided to make her presence known. "And just what do you propose, Mom? Do you want me to give up the Center? Shut it down? Too many people are helped there. Too many people depend on it. I'm sorry I'm a burden. That you still have to worry about me, what to do with me. I'm sorry I'm so weak. You must be so disappointed in me."
"Stop it, Bianca!" Marissa snapped back at her wife. It was obvious that she had overheard their conversation, but she had missed something.
Bianca was shocked to hear her wife yell at her. She was shocked even more by her appearance. "Marissa, I …"
"No. I need you to sit down, and I need you to listen. Will you please do that for me?"
"Yes." Bianca sat down next to her wife.
"Thank you." Marissa took a deep breath to calm herself down before she began. She didn't mean to snap at Bianca, but she was exhausted and couldn't stop herself.
"I'm so sorry, Rissa. You didn't get any sleep, did you?"
Marissa saw the tears in Bianca's eyes and wiped them away. She could handle just about anything. Anything except Bianca's tears. "I got enough. Like I told you last night, you have nothing to be sorry about."
"But …"
"No. I did exactly what you've done for me. It's what we do for the people we love, and I love you with all of my heart. Besides, we're a team, and a damn good one if I do say so myself. Remember?"
Bianca took a shaking breath and nodded. "I love you with all of my heart too, and yeah, I remember."
"Good."
Erica, Kendall, and Greenlee looked at each other. Each not exactly sure what Marissa was referring to, but when they thought about it, there was something that came to mind. The three decided to just sit back and not interrupt the couple for the time being.
"I'm not sure what you heard, but it's obvious that I need to clear a few things up. First, you are not weak. You are probably the strongest person I know, and I'm pretty sure that they will all agree with me." Marissa motioned to the trio of women seated across from them. All three women nodded.
"She's right, Bianca. I'm not sure I could've survived what you went through." Greenlee said.
"Not only did you survive, but you built something to help others. Next, you are not a burden, to any of us. We love you. You have been there for each one of us, and now, we're simply being there for you. Like I just said, it's what you do for the people you love."
"I couldn't agree more with Marissa. You could never be a burden to us, Bianca. I don't know what I would do without you, and that's something that I never want to find out. You are the best of us." Kendall stated earnestly.
"Finally, no one is disappointed in you. How could we be? You created a place where people that have been abused and neglected feel safe. They feel valued, like they matter. You show them that others care about them. You help give them the tools to not only survive but to thrive. Whether you know it or not, you lead by example and show them it is possible to live and love again. How could we ever be disappointed in you, in what you've accomplished, in what you've built?"
Erica nodded. "Marissa is right. I don't think I could have said it any better. Sweetheart, I love you, and I am by no means disappointed in you. Quite the opposite in fact. I am so proud of you. I am simply amazed by not only the woman you've become but by everything you have accomplished. If I have said something to make you feel otherwise, I am so sorry. I am frustrated because I am your mother, and I hate to see you hurt, in pain. If I could take this pain away from you, I would in a heartbeat. The fact that I can't do that in these situations is unbearable. I know how much the Center means to you, how much of yourself you have put into it. Because I see that, I can't help but worry about you. You are my daughter, and I will always worry about you. That is something I am certain you are learning yourself with your own children. Worry, however, is not the same as disappointment."
Bianca wiped away the tears that had again escaped from her eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said. I love all of you. Yesterday just took me back to that dark place. I hate when that happens. I try and recognize the signs of when it might be happening. I've gotten better at it, but yesterday, I just couldn't stop it. I wish it didn't happen, that I didn't have to worry about it." Bianca turned to her wife. "I know that you said I don't have to apologize, but I feel like I do. I'm not the only one affected by these flashbacks. You are too. I can see the toll this last one had on you. I hate that, and I'm so sorry."
"I have an idea. What would you think about seeing Dr. Blankenship again? She's helped you before." Marissa could tell Bianca wasn't exactly receptive to the idea of going back into therapy, but it had really helped her in the past. "Before you say anything, let me just say that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. And maybe, it could help me too."
"You would consider doing that?"
"Yeah, I would. You made some valid points, and it would be hypocritical of me to not get help for myself when I'm asking you to." Marissa thought it might not only help her be able to help Bianca more, but it might help her with her own demons.
Bianca thought for a moment. She knew Marissa was right. Bianca had encouraged clients to go to therapy, to seek additional help to aid in their healing. She told them herself that it wasn't a sign of weakness. It was time for her to practice what she preached, especially when Marissa was willing to get help herself. "Okay. I'll call her tomorrow. What do you think about seeing her together?"
"I think it's a good idea, at least this first time. We can go from there."
"And I think I shouldn't go on any visits for the Center like yesterday's until I talk with her. I don't think it would be good for me or for the client. I could cause them more harm than good, and that's the last thing I want to do."
"I think that's a good idea as well."
"I love you."
"I love you too." Marissa leaned in and gave her wife a loving kiss.
Erica smiled. Relief flooded through her as she watched Marissa help Bianca through this episode. Her daughter-in-law had a way of getting through to Bianca when no one else could. "I'm glad to hear that. Now, the two of you should go get some more rest. We will watch Danny while you do. In case you were wondering, that wasn't a request."
Marissa chuckled. "If I've learned anything from being a part of this family, it's knowing when to pick and choose my battles with your Mom."
"You are a smart woman, Red." Kendall grinned. "Mom's right. We'll take care of Danny while the two of you get some rest."
"I'm one step ahead of you, Kendall." Greenlee stated as she pulled out her cellphone. "I'll call the office and tell them we're not coming in."
"Are you sure?" Bianca asked.
Kendall nodded as she looked at the three cousins playing together. "I'm positive. Besides, the three of them are happy as can be right now."
Bianca suddenly remembered something. "I need to call the office."
"I already took care of it. Jan and Aya have everything under control on your side, and Ellie is taking care of mine." Marissa assured her wife as she stood and held out her hand.
"Okay then." Bianca took her wife's hand and then stopped. "There are some teething biscuits for Danny in a container on a counter in the kitchen."
"You found something he liked?" Kendall asked.
"More like Jessica did. She made them herself. If you want Lexie or Bri to try one, feel free. Jessica said she was going to make some more for us."
"I might just do that." Greenlee said. Bri had been teething herself.
"Let's go get some sleep, B."
"Right behind you, Rissa." Bianca smiled softly. After talking with her family, Bianca had to admit that she felt like a weight had been lifted from her, and she didn't feel quite as anxious about going to sleep.
/
Once back in their bedroom, the couple got in bed. Bianca rested in Marissa's arms, and they were soon both fast asleep. When they woke up a couple of hours later, both felt more rested and centered, particularly Bianca. Kendall and Greenlee prepared lunch for them while Erica kept an eye on the kids.
"Did you ever notice how well-behaved those three are when my Mom watches them?" Bianca noted to Marissa as the couple observed the youngest family members with Erica.
"Yeah, I have. I guess they know better than to cross Erica Kane, just like everyone else does." Marissa cracked. Her joke had met its intended purpose when Bianca laughed. Her wife's laugh was like music to Marissa's ears. "Better?"
Bianca knew what her wife was asking and nodded. This time when she answered the question, she was telling the truth. She truly felt like she had turned a corner and had weathered the worst of this recent episode. "Yeah, I am, thanks to you. Thank you for being here for me."
"Always."
/
A/N: I apologize for the late update, but I wanted to wrap up this particular storyline with this chapter and needed to find my way to an ending that felt right. I hope I accomplished that. FYI, I'm going to be updating "Kegs & Eggs" next.