Disclaimer- If I owned IZ, ZADR would become reality! MUAHAHAHAA! So would FrankDonnie If I owned Donnie Darko…

Just an FYI, this story starts when Dib is 17.

Warnings- Eventual ZADR, but nothing lemony... probably language.

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I disgust myself.

All those years- ALL THOSE YEARS- and I failed to realize.

I FAILED TO REALIZE THAT I ONLY EXISTED TO ENTERTAIN SADISTIC ASSHOLES.

I WAS JUST A BIG JOKE FOR ALL OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE TO ENJOY.

Three years.

Three long years I have imprisoned myself in this rat hole.

But I deserve it. For my ignorance and stupidity.

Gir died after the first year. Apparently all the sadness and self-directed anger in the air made him explode. At the time I was in a constant fetal position. My computer had managed to get through to me that he was gone. At the time, I really didn't care. But now it makes me hate myself even more.

My base has deteriorated.

The machinery has long been caked in dust from neglect. The windows and door are boarded up. The portals to my lab have been destroyed in fits of rage. The only electrical outlet that has been untouched is the one I use to charge my pack. There have been many times where I have thought of just letting the battery die, and therefore ending my life. Thankfully, I have so far let my fear get the best of me and charged it anyway.

I have nothing better to do than to mope around and feel sorry for myself. All of this silence has given me too much time to think. Think about the things I don't want to think about. Think about the things that can never be. Thinking about how much of a waste I am. Think about how other people are managing….other people like the Dib human….

For the first six moths or so, he was at my door almost everyday, pounding, demanding I come out, demanding I tell him my next diabolical plan for taking over the Earth, as if I still cared. Then I guess he gave up. He still walked by the house with it's boarded up windows, giving it suspicious looks. After Gir died, I had no way of knowing how anything was, as he was my complete source of information from the outside world…

Lately, my restlessness has grown. I wanted to be outside of this forsaken place. Back with interacting life.

But I know I don't deserve it. I don't even deserve to be around lowly humans. I deserve to be here. It's my entire fault…

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(A week later)

I'm going to do it. I've got to. Now while I have the courage and the energy.

This might be me tying to escape my personal hell. I'm not sure. Maybe this is the first step to being less of what I was. Like turning a new leaf. I might have a new chance if I can do this, a new chance at life.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to unboard one of the windows.

I have a hammer and some willpower. I can do it.

I walked up to the window and hooked the back of the head onto one of the nails.

That's when all the fear and self-doubt came flooding back

Am I allowed out of the house? What if someone sees me? Do I deserve this? What about the Dib human? Will he take this as a sign to come back and try to destroy me? Is he still alive? What if he finds out I've been banished? I'll be the laughingstock of the world! I can't do this I can't do this I can't-

I did it. The nail came out.

Slowly but surely I removed the nail from the other side of the board and took it down. I quickly ducked down. After a few minutes when I figured it was safe, I peeked outside. The sun was shining through the passing rain.

I stared at the sun, and the rain and the whole spectrum of the outside world.

After only seeing torn up walls, piles of trash, and stained floors for three years, this ratty suburbia was quite beautiful.

Just as I was being absorbed into my thoughts, the wind shifted my way and rain water sprayed my face. Pain. More pain. Unimaginable pain erupting from my face to the bare hands clutching it. And before I knew it, I was out like a light bulb.

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Wake up!

I jolted awake.

I've been watching you, yo…

What the hell?

Come closer…

I looked around the room, trying to remember where I was and why some one was calling me…

I SAID COME CLOSER, YO!

That voice…I've heard that before… I sprinted down to the remains of the living room and there he was-

Wuddup, failed Invader Zim! I am POOP DOG, THE MASTA AND SPECTA OF DEFEAT IN EFFECT! MUAHAHAAAA…COUGH

…

Why didn't I see this coming?

"What are you doing in MY BASE, FOOL?"

Hahaha...yo…it's time fo you to get up and get out of here! If not, you'll NEVER receive the MYSTERY PRIZE!

"Wasn't that all just a big LIE to earn the horrible Skool monies?"

….DON'T DOUBT THE POOP DOG!

"But all I got was a tuna sandwich!"

…That's not my problem, yo...you didn't have enough street cred!

"What is this…'street cred' you speak of?"

….Never mind, fool!

Like I was sayin' before, yo, it's time to return to your old life! If not, your only chance at bein' cool in da hood is gone….

"…What?"

Get out of this house, return to your life, or else you will NEVER be able to conquer the Tallests, yo!

"How am I to do this, Poop Dog?"

Join up with their savior…or ELSE!

"Whose savior? Who is this Savior you speak of? Wait- COME BACK, POOP DOG!"

HAHAHAHAHA!... NO!

And with that, Poop Dog flew away.

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…Yeah, I kinda really plagiarized that last part from Donnie Darko (with a Poop Dog twist)…. But it was pretty fun!

Anyway, I'm gonna try and update at the very least once every couple days… (hopefully).

Next chapter- Dib's life after Zim.

R&R please :)