Revan fell back on her bunk, thoroughly exhausted but enjoying every minute of it. Force, if I'm exhausted I can't imagine how Treg feels. Hah, the look on Carth's face when he realized I was serious about having Treg work out in his underwear. Her body shook as she tried to hold back a laugh.

Okay enough of that, let's sort some of this other stuff out. When do I switch gears? Is there a way I can tell, prevent it perhaps? It has to be when I get overcome with my emotions. So, I can't let Onasi piss me off. Oh boy, that's like asking a Jedi Master to use a red light saber crystal. I can hear it now, 'Young apprentice, you are aware that would be tempting the dark side, we cannot allow it.'

Wait, tempting the dark side, that's what I'm doing isn't it? Anger, fear, aggression … But why, how? Not consciously, in my dreams perhaps? When I try to remember… but I have to remember for Aaron and Ariana's sake. And I'm not dreaming when these things happen. No, it has to be something else.

The scout, I saw him with me – I feel like … I don't know, like there is something I need to remember. Why would I talk with him, when did I talk with him? Wait … let the force guide you Revan – you can remember – you can -

She felt her body being wrapped in warmth, a comfort that she desperately needed. She felt complete, she felt whole. And then, like a sudden meteor shower had fallen, her body was being abused. The drifting mass found its targets, carving a notch into everything it came in contact with. When the battery ended a dark hole was there, sucking the life from her, stealing time and space, taking everything it could into its whirlwind. The scouts face flashed before her and understanding seemed to dawn. But it was too late … she could not escape. She tried desperately to grab the last remaining fray of what was herself as it tried to leave her. It was the rope in a game of tug of war and she was loosing, she couldn't hold on – he was wrenching it from her grasp and she was powerless to stop it. Nooooo, and then she felt the shock electrify her body as it snapped back. As if he had let go while she was still pulling. Everything exploded in a flash of light.

Revan bolted straight up as if feeling the explosion, Ah frack, why the hell did the force turn on me like that? Is the scout doing this to me?

Well, I definitely can't sleep now, she thought, dragging her weary body off the bed. I need to think, prepare, and now that Treg's not with me I can work with my light saber. Decision made she padded down the hall, entering the familiar room. But it did not offer her the peace and solitude she was looking for, instead, in front of the punching bag, she found Carth.

His stance was solid as he changed his hand and fist positions. It had to be or else the heavy bag would knock him over as it swayed back and forth at him. She watched his muscles flex as the bag swung into him, delivering a shock to various parts of his arm as he shifted his stance every few minutes when it moved away. She had seen him do this many times before, his special technique that wasn't for muscle gain or fighting style, just electrical stimulation to his arms that he insisted allowed him to deliver a powerful punch without suffering from the force of the impact when it landed on its target. But it's never seemed so damn sexy before.

Her eyes moved to the muscular legs that were only partially covered in his exercise attire. Her gaze followed up his legs stopping while she drunk in the tight buttocks. She must have been sending a powerful look because in the next instant his legs seemed to loosen up as if feeling the gaze. The bag rocked back towards him and he let out an "Oomph" when it landed on his unprepared body. He stumbled back, loosing his footing as Revan rushed to quickly provide him with support.

She was in great shape but her small form was no match for the solid body that was crashing into hers. All her air escaped in one breath, "Ohh" as they both landed on the floor, his weight crashing into her.

He spun off of her quickly, "Damn, Revan are you alright?"

Her body remained still as she tried to recover from the impact, only able to give him a slight nod as she concentrated on breathing air back into her lungs. It still felt like a huge weight was sitting on her chest and she felt parts of her body retaliating, ones that she never even knew she had. Man, that was worse than a force push! I never knew he was so … solid. How could I never have realized that before? Well, it's not often he acted like a lead weight when we were together…

"You almost killed me Onasi." Regretting that she let out what little bit of air she had returned to her lungs.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. But if you don't mind, I think I'll just stay like this for awhile. Quietly."

"Quietly huh? Well, that will be a first." He said as he ran a hand through his hair and grinned at her sheepishly. His hand moved to rub across his chest, "Sorry, I would have stopped myself if I could."

She was watching his every movement, amazed at her new discovery of the man she thought she knew so well. I want to feel that solid body again, not the soft caring one that you always present to me. I want to be the one running a hand over your chest, through your hair, down to those tight …

"Carth? I'm sorry."

"I knew you couldn't stay quiet." He grinned but then his face became concerned, "Are you sure you're okay? Enough oxygen and all, cause you uh, you seem ready to pass out again."

"Yes. No, wait. I think my arm is broken." Do you still love me? Do you still feel the passion that I do?

"Your arm? Damn, let me take a look." He kneeled down next to her, reaching carefully towards her, "Which one?"

"Other side" she mumbled, watching him carefully as he leaned over her, supporting his weight with his other arm.

She took that moment to bring both her hands up around him, running one down his back as she pulled him closer with the other. Tell me you love me, that you forgive me …

He suddenly became aware of how close their bodies were and the feeling of her touch on his skin. Oh Revan, you so tempt me, the feeling of your arms around me – Suddenly the realization dawned on him that her arm was working just fine as she pressed her lips against his, demanding them to kiss her back. And in that moment he obliged, pushing her back, letting their last kiss emblazon itself into his mind, into his very soul. Finally, he relented, releasing her lips, he pulled away, pushing himself back to an upright position. "No more Revan, that's it."

Raising her upper body she brought her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. You have your answer. A look of innocence opened up on her face as she stared at his towering form. "I just wanted to feel you, touch you again. Is that so wrong?"

"Yes! Dammit woman, I'm tired of games. I can't live like that, I'm just not built that way."

"I'm sorry, I thought you might forgive me, but apparently you can't." She released her knees and pushed herself upright. Looking directly into his eyes as her own grew foggy with burning tears, a small, choked voice echoed, "My mistake," And then the owner of the voice turned away, abandonment clear as her body shrank in destitution.

"Wait" he reached out but stopped inches from her body. "Is there something else you wanted?"

She stood frozen, unable to turn around, unable to leave, "Besides you?"

Carth? She paused, waiting for some sort of reply, some gesture to her comment, but nothing, just an eerie silence filled the room. "No, not really."

And then she disappeared, leaving as quietly as she had arrived. Only this time he was aware of her presence and the emptiness it left when she was no longer there.