Chap. 1: I'm Paul Atreides - Believe it!

(Author runs for her life after using American-version anime reference)

"Yes, Naruto, you got the starring role. Don't let it go to your head. I SAID DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD!"

As she attempted to calm the hyperactive young ninja in front of her, the thirteen-year-old author was beginning to regret breaking the third wall to direct the play in her own fanfiction.

Pushing the chair away from the desk, she wheeled over to the intercom button on the wall and pressed it. "Go-fer staff people? Mr. Uzumaki is to have NO MORE SUGAR TODAY! Understood? No matter how much he begs."

Naruto paused his rejoicing long enough to ask,"So, what's this play about anyway?"

The director, happy to be on track at last, replied. "It's based on a great science-fiction novel called Dune. Dune is a nickname for Arrakis, the desert planet it takes place on."

"Science fiction? Like with robots and stuff?"

The director laughed. "Actually, robots are banned because they tried to take over thousands of years ago."

"You," she continued, savoring the crestfallen look on Naruto's face, "are the hero of the story: Paul Atreides, later to be known as Muad'Dib."

"So," the girl finished, "Let's go see the people who will be playing your parents."

"All right, where's our Duke Leto?" called the oddly commanding girl as she walked through the busy studio.

"Right here, Miss Filatine!" said Sasuke, appearing next to her.

"Look, you're my age, you can call me by my first name!"

Sasuke seemed not to hear. He turned to smirk at Naruto.

"Did you hear I'm playing your father? I guess that means I get to tell you what to do!"

"For your information," Naruto replied hotly, poking his thumb at his chest, "I'M the hero of the story! Nobody's gonna boss me around -- HEY! You rolled your eyes, I saw it!"

A short fight ensued. (No, I'm not gonna describe it! I can't write fight scenes!) Eventually Temari, whose arrival had gone unnoticed in all the hubbub, shouted in a tone of voice usually reserved for her brothers.

"You two had better stop fighting NOW or you won't have a Lady Jessica!"

Naruto, not taking his eyes off Sasuke for a moment, replied angrily, "So! We can get along without you!"

"Actually," said the director in a nervous voice, "Jessica's a very important character. It's all over if Temari walks out."

"Come on, it's not that serious," Temari answered. "You have Tenten as an understudy."

"Uh," the director stalled. Finally she got the words out. "When I made the original cast list, there was a part at the beginning I forgot. So she has her own part now."

"Okay, then," replied Temari. "May I stop my "family" from killing each other?"

"Yes, please do."

Exactly half a second later, Sasuke and Naruto found themselves on opposite sides of Temari's giant fan. She was once again yelling at the top of her lungs.

"Look, there's nothing we can do about the casting now, so we might as well try to do a decent job on this play!" Her voice lowered in volume but lost none of its firmness. "Besides, my character is your mother" She nodded toward Naruto. "and your wife" Nod toward Sasuke. "so you'd better get used to having me around and not ignore me!"

Temari turned back to the director. "I say we start the play now, I've had enough backstage action!"

"I agree," said the director.