Hello, dear readers! It's me again, here with another story. I've always wanted to write a 'five times' story, so I figured I'd give it a try. Naturally, I will center it around my OTP. I can't help but wonder as I sit here typing while sipping on a 2 AM cup of coffee, why do I love writing fanfiction so much? To be honest, I'm not sure. I just like writing it. I hope that you, dear readers, like reading it.
The Doctor was not a touchy-feely man. Well, at least he wasn't in this regeneration. He struggled every time his companion and best friend, Clara Oswald, tried to hug him. Physical affection was just awkward for him in this body. He tried to avoid it. It was too awkward to hug her. Hell, sometimes he couldn't even look her in the face. He just found himself staring at her lips. She had very nice lips. He absolutely didn't fantasize about pressing his lips to hers. Well, at least not at first. Unfortunately, once he got his first taste, it was hard to forget.
The first time it happened, he and Clara were on Sarsparilla III. It was a planet surprisingly similar to the American Old West, or at least a western movie. The Doctor was dressed in his typical stylish outfit and Clara had a period dress on. They were on a stagecoach back to a dusty town to return to the TARDIS. Suddenly, their ride stopped. Clara looked at him with her big doe-eyes and asked, "What happened?"
Suddenly, the door flung open and there were men with guns pointed at them. They grabbed the Doctor and Clara and yanked them out of the horse-drawn vehicle. The was a bunch of shouting. They seemed to be searching for something. A tall, mustached man who seemed to be the leader of the band of miscreants approached the duo. Pointing his gun at the two, the man coolly said, "I'm only going to ask you once. Where are you hiding the money?"
"There's no money here." the Doctor replied, annoyed.
One of the men nodded and said, "I think he's right, boss."
The Boss sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He then looked back up at the Doctor and Clara and said, "All right, then. Give us all your money."
"We don't have money!" Clara replied desperately.
The other people who were driving and protecting the stagecoach were gone, the Doctor noted. The Boss scoffed and said, "Ridin' the stagecoach ain't free."
"I was owed a favor." the Doctor replied tersely, "Honestly, do I look like I have anything valuable? I have no use for it. You're welcome to take it."
The Boss stroked his mustache thoughtfully for a moment before lowering his gun and saying, "That suit looks pretty fancy. I bet I could get at least twenty dollars for that dress, too. Undress, the both of you."
Before Clara could even say anything, the Doctor said, "I am not taking off this suit and she's not taking off her clothes. If you want our clothes, you'll have to take them off yourselves!"
And that was how the Doctor and Clara ended up tied up in the middle of the arid landscape with the Time Lord wearing nothing but his red and white pinstriped boxers and his companion in nothing but her chemise, drawers, and corset, which the bandits hadn't bothered to remove. "You'll have to remove them yourselves." Clara snarked. "Did you really have to challenge them, Doctor?"
"How was I to know that they'd actually do it?" the Doctor argued.
The situation was made worse by the fact that they were tied together very tightly, so there was virtually no space between them. They were tied front to front and restrained in a position where their noses were touching. They were very, very close. If the touching wasn't bad enough, the Doctor was being- ahem- affected by Clara's state of undress. Only his superior control over his anatomy prevented him from- ahem- saluting. This was a good thing. With the two of them this close, surely Clara would have noticed if the Doctor's- ahem - soldier was standing at attention. He couldn't help it. He secretly had a thing for late 19th century women's undergarments. He didn't choose his kink. It chose him. "Men." Clara huffed.
"Clara, this is not the time to play the gender card." the Doctor snapped.
Once again, Clara tried to struggle free of the ropes that bound herself and the Doctor together. They were definitely going to have rope burns by the time this was over. Unfortunately, she made no progress. The Doctor could feel her breath against his lips. "This is worse than one of those trashy Old West historical fiction romance novels."
"How so?" Clara panted.
"Think about it- a nubile female in her undergarments, alone in the desert with a half-naked, strangely compelling masculine figure. The only thing missing is the-"
The Doctor paused when he heard a strangely out of place bird call. Within seconds, they were surrounded. "-angry natives, who capture them and tie them up."
"We're already tied up." Clara pointed out.
"Indeed." the Doctor replied. "Maybe they're not angry?"
The Sarsparillan natives began to talk among themselves. The Doctor paused and said, "Scratch that. They're definitely angry."
"Shit!" Clara swore and began her struggles anew.
"Language!" the Doctor snapped, joining her in her struggles.
The Doctor continued to struggle. His efforts led him to roll on top of Clara- completely unintentional, of course. When he felt a weapon to the back of his neck, the Time Lord imediately stopped struggling and allowed himself to go limp. Unfortunately, when his head came down, it was positioned at just such an angle that his lips landed directly on Clara's. The Impossible Girl imediately stopped struggling, completely shocked by what had happened. The natives suddenly went quiet. Then they started talking again. Suddenly, the ropes were cut and the Doctor and Clara were wrenched apart. They were then blindfolded and led away.
The rest of the evening was spent in some sort of celebration and feast, though the Doctor refused to translate some of what the natives were saying to Clara. They had to spend the night, just the two of them, in a small, ornately decorated tent. In the morning, they were given a horse to ride to their destination. Her arms wrapped around the Doctor's waist, Clara asked, "What was that all about?"
"Superstition." the Doctor replied. "Tradition. Just be glad that they decided that they liked us."
"That is lucky." Clara commented. She then asked, "Anything I should know about?"
"Nope." the Doctor replied hastily.
There were certain things that Clara didn't need to know about. One of them was the Doctor's lucky question mark underpants. Another was that he sometimes used her hand lotion. With the current situation, Clara absolutely did not need to know that the festivities last night had been a wedding ceremony. The tent that they had spent the night in was supposed invoke the gods to bless them with great fertility on their wedding night. There had been, of course, no hanky panky and there would absolutely not be any fertilizing Clara any time soon if he had anything to say about it. The point was that the Doctor doubted that Clara wanted to be his wife, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The second time it happened, the Doctor was reminded just how much he hated public transit. The TARDIS needed a certain timey-wimey part, so he and Clara were on the City-Station of Basaloob. It was the Nobgrabb Market that they were heading to, which was one of the few places where they'd find such a thing. When the Doctor first told his companion that they were heading to the Nobgrabb Market, she almost laughed herself sick. The Time Lord failed to see what was so funny. Now they were on a very crowded bus with people of various species pressed against him from all sides, including Clara to his front. "Now I remember why I almost never visit this station." the Doctor grumbled.
"Well, you did say that the food was good." Clara tried to brighten the mood.
"They're touching me." the Time Lord grumbled.
"You didn't complain about that kind of thing in your last body." the petite human pointed out.
"Well, that version of me had little to no concept of personal space." the Doctor replied. "I'd kiss anything that got close enough if I was in a kissing mood."
"Like me after a couple shots of tequila." Clara commented. "Though I seriously doubt that your current incarnation is a snog-happy drunk."
The Doctor said nothing, though he could feel his ears turning red. He was indeed a 'snog-happy drunk', as Clara so eloquently put it. Like the fact that he owned a lucky pair of question mark underpants, used his companion's hand lotion, and was currently secretly married to that particular companion, the fact that the Doctor would kiss anything that moved when he was intoxicated was something that said companion did not need to know about. The lattermost secret was not one that he ever planned on revealing to Clara, either. Suddenly, one of the wheels on the bus hit a bump in the road. Everyone onboard was jostled. An elbow went flying into the Doctor's back, knocking him forward. Clara tried to catch him but due to their height difference, that wasn't fully possible. He managed to catch himself on her arms, though, which brought them to eye-level. "I-"
The Doctor tried to apologize, but the bus was jostled again and he was knocked forward a bit more. Because of how crowded it was, the Time Lord had only one direction he could go in- forward, towards Clara. He collided with her, lips first. On her lips. His lips were on her lips. Their eyes met, equally shocked. A second later, the bus arrived at a stop and people started to leave. This gave the Doctor just enough time to separate his lips from Clara's and stand up stright. It wasn't their stop and even if they wanted to, the bus was once again too crowded for them to leave. The Time Lord was stuck with Clara's face directly into his chest. "After this, you owe me dinner." she joked.
"Dinner. Right." the Doctor grumbled. "The public transit on this space sation can kiss my a-"
"Language, Doctor." Clara interrupted him.
The Time Lord heaved a heavy sigh. This had happened to him on previous visits. He had been shoved into someone's lips before. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he knew the person he had kissed this time. Clara decided to speak up. "So, what is there to eat here?"
"Where we're going, it's mostly street food. Gourmet nachos are a thing. Best gourmet nachos in the galaxy, to be honest." the Doctor said, relieved that the subject was changed.
"Gourmet nachos?" Clara raised a brow.
The Doctor spent the remaining time until their stop explaining this station's gourmet nachos and the available ingredients to his companion. When they finally got off the bus, it was almost as crowded. Much to his embarrassment, the Doctor had to hold Clara's hand so they wouldn't be separated. He wasn't much about the touching in this body, especially with his brunette companion. The Time Lord found physical contact, especially with his petite companion, to be a bit too... intense was one word for it. Even something as simple as holding hands.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
The third time made him to once again question the maturity of supposed 'adults'. Once again, he had taken up his guise as the school's' caretaker. Some of the teachers and a few other people working at Coal Hill were at a bit of a Halloween get-together and alcohol was provided to add a bit of lubrication to the friction of awkward conversations. Oddly enough, the Doctor and Clara were two of the few people who were still sober. The petite brunette looked up from her plate of snacks. "Some party, huh." she said dryly.
"I can't believe you dragged me here." the Time Lord huffed.
"I recall you being the one who suggested coming. Something about how you can't be my only friend." Clara replied.
"Well, I thought there would be bananas." the Doctor groused. "What kind of party doesn't have bananas?"
Clara rolled her eyes and said, "What are you, four?"
"More like Twelve, actually." the Doctor replied, trying to lighten the mood with a bad joke.
Clara snickered and took another bite from one of the biscuits provided. Suddenly, the Doctor felt an arm over his shoulder. He looked to see a young man with a slight resemblance to his Eleventh incarnation. He looked rather unkempt and was clearly intoxicated. "Hiiiii!" he said cheerfully.
"What do you want, Adrian?" Clara asked.
"It's time to liven up this party. We're gonna play a game!" Adrian said with a wide grin.
The Doctor looked at his companion. "Anything could liven up this party." he pointed out.
Clara finished her cup of some random brown fizzy drink and set the empty cup down. "All right." she said. "Let's get this game started."
Adrian led them over to an area where some chairs were arranged in a circle. "Everybody take a seat." he instructed.
Clara took a seat directly across from the Doctor. The Time Lord noticed that there were just enough chairs for everyone, with the exception of Adrian. "We're going to play Musical Chairs." Adrian said. "Blindfolded! When someone wins, I'll spin the wheel," he indicated a crudely drawn wheel with various things written on it. "and you'll get a prize on the wheel."
The Doctor folded his arms over his chest and grumbled about childish games. No one seemed to notice. Soon, everyone was blindfolded. "Stand." Adrian said
The Doctor stood up. He heard the sound of someone moving the chairs, taking one of them away. The music played and there was a scramble for the remaining chairs. When he was seated, the Time Lord asked, "You still there, Clara?"
"Yep." Clara said.
"Stand." Adrian commanded.
Everyone stood and the chairs were moved around again. The music played and once again, everyone had to find the remaining chairs. The chairs slowly ran out before finally, the Doctor sat down on the last remaining chair. "And we have a winner!" Adrian declared. "Now, to spin the wheel!"
There was the sound of the wheel spinning, lasting about thirty seconds before coming to a stop. "Okay, don't take your blindfold off." Adrian said, "Winner gets to kiss the person they just beat to the chair."
The Doctor felt his ears turn red from embarrassment. There was the sound of steps before someone else was fumbling to see where his head was located. Those same hands then rested on his forearms. The next thing he knew, a pair of soft lips were pressed against his. "Okay," Adrian said, "Winner, take off your blindfold."
The Doctor quickly pulled off his blindfold. He was shocked to see a familiar face, someone he knew quite well leaning on his arms. The Time Lord's eyes widened dramatically as he blurted, "Clara?"
"Doctor?" Clara gasped.
She whipped off her blindfold to confirm that it was indeed him. His blue-grey eyes met her brown ones and there was a brief silence as both of their faces grew redder. "I, uh, think I've had too much to drink." the Doctor lied.
"I'll drive you home." Clara said hastily. "I'll make you some coffee."
Adrian winked and said, "You two have fun!"
"Adrian!" Clara hissed. "Not that kind of coffee!"
The Doctor allowed his companion to lead him away from the party and out of the building. Clara folded her arms over her chest and said, "I'm sorry, Doctor. This is the kind of thing I'd expect from people my students' ages, not grown adults."
"Why did we take your motorcycle here, anyway?" the Doctor asked. "The TARDIS would be quicker."
Clara unhooked a helmet from her motorcycle and handed it to the Doctor. She then put her own helmet on. The Doctor sat down on the motorcycle behind his companion. "Well," he said, "back to your place, then. Coffee does sound good."
A few hours later, Adrian stepped out of the building. He grabbed his chin and pulled upwards, revealing that he had been wearing a mask. Two people followed him out, man and one woman. Both of them took their realistic masks off as well, revealing that the woman was an attractive ginger and the man was, well, just awkward-looking. The woman folded her arms over her chest and said, "Why did you drag us to this party, Doctor?"
The Eleventh Doctor pocketed his mask. "Had to confirm that the history teacher was not, in fact, an alien that owed me fifty pounds. Had to disguise myself as one of the teachers for that. The real Adrian should be escaping the supply closet right about now."
"You made us disguise disguise ourselves as teachers and brought us to a boring party over that?" The awkward-looking man said, clearly irritated.
"You could have gone to the party yourseld." the ginger added. "You could have just dropped us off at a pub."
"I needed you two to pummel me over the head with a chair in case the alien posing as the history teacher defeated me in a telepathic battle and turned me evil to get me to destroy Earth." the Doctor said. "Not to worry, Ponds! Apocalypse averted!"
Amy and Rory stared at their Time Lord friend in disbelief. Their confusion only increased when the Doctor pulled some money out of his pocket. "I also got the fifty quid that he owed me!"
The sound of Rory and Amy facepalming could be heard from across the street.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The fourth time was completely unexpected- for both the Doctor and Clara. The silver-haired Time Lord and his brunette companion were dashing through the halls of a building, trying to outpace the self-destruct timer. They exited just in time to avoid the explosion, though the shockwave knocked both the Doctor and Clara to the ground. The Doctor looked at the smoking remains of the building, which up until a few seconds ago held an evil computer that would have inevitably destroyed the civilization on the planet. The only person who died was the alien who created the computer, but that was an acceptable loss to the Doctor. He got to his feet and dusted off his trousers. He looked to see Clara, who was now standing as well. She seemed to be a bit more scraped up than he was, but then again she was wearing a skirt and not trousers. That was the last thing on the Doctor's mind, though. "We did it." He said.
Clara grinned at him, but that grin was quickly turned to a look of shock when he picked her up and spun her around. "Apocalypse averted!" the Doctor declared before giving his companion a dramatic kiss in he heat of the moment.
Whe the Doctor realized what he had done, he quickly set Clara back down and stepped away. They both refused to look at each other. They were like a bunch of nervous kids sometimes. What Clara didn't really need to know was that since the Halloween party, he had fantasized about kissing her more than once. On purpose, not accidentally like the kiss moments ago. "Right." Clara mumbled. "Apocalypse averted. I, ah, think I have to mark some papers."
"Right." the Doctor said. "Back to the TARDIS, then."
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The fifth time made him once again question what the universe had against him. The Doctor was working on some repairs on the TARDIS and things were getting a bit tricky. He ran a hand through his silver curls, muttering under his breath about uncooperative machines. The lights in the TARDIS flashed and the ship let out an annoyed-sounding hum. He heard Clara speak up from a few meters away from him. "Did she hide your spanner again?" the Impossible Girl asked.
"Worse." the Doctor huffed. "This particular part, she doesn't view it as repairs so much as changes. She won't let me in."
"You're joking, right?" Clara said. The Time Lord could hear the frown in her voice.
"Unfortunately, no." the Doctor replied. "Madam here," He shot a glare at the time rotor. "can be a bit stubborn sometimes."
"You still love her, though." Clara said. "And you shouldn't antagonize her."
The TARDIS let out another hum and the Doctor stared up at the ceiling. "Okay, now you're taking her side?"
He bent over the console, buring his face in his hands. "I don't know why I bother. You know what? Fine. Keep things the way they are."
"How bad could it be?" Clara asked, sounding much closer.
The Doctor turned his head to tell her just how bad it would be. He found out just how close Clara was standing to him when he turned his head at just the right angle that his lips touched hers. The petite brunette quickly stepped away. "Forgive me." she mumbled before dashing out of the machine.
The Doctor smacked his forehead in frustration. Why did he keep accidentally kissing her? He had planned on giving her a good and proper kiss when they were supposed to watch The Notebook (regardless of what Clara said, he did not cry at the end of the movie) after he finished the repairs. Now things were akward again. The Doctor stood up straight and balled his fists. No. He would not let this stop his plans. He strided across the control room, towards the exit. He left the machine and searched Clara's flat, quickly finding her in the kitchen. "Clara." He called out to her.
Clara refused to look at him. "What is it, Doctor?"
He stepped up to her and said, "Clara, look at me."
There was a bit of hesitation before the Impossible Girl turned around and made eye contact with the Time Lord. "Why does this always keep happening?" she asked.
"What?" the Doctor asked. "The repairs? You storming out? Accidental kissing?"
"The accidental kissing!" Clara snapped. "Why are you always accidentally kissing me?"
"Well, considering your reaction, I doubt that it would help if I kissed you deliberately!" the Time Lord shot back, kind of irritated that his plans wouldn't come to fruition.
"You wouldn't do that." Clara said angrily.
"Try me." the Doctor said.
"Okay!" Clara snapped.
Seeing this as his only chance, the Doctor took Clara's face in his hands and claimed her lips in a passionate kiss. Their lips remained locked for almost a full minute before the human had to separate from him to catch her breath. "Wow." she said. "You kissed me. On purpose."
"Yeah." the Doctor replied. "I planned to do it anyway during the movie."
"Oh." Clara said dumbly.
There was a brief silence before the Doctor asked, "Want to do it again?"
Clara took the Doctor's arm in hers and smiled. "It can wait until the movie." she said. "What are we watching?"
"The Notebook." the Time Lord replied.
"Romantic." Clara said. "Just please, don't cry at the end like the last four times we watched it."
As he allowed his companion to lead him back to the TARDIS, the Doctor huffed, "I do not cry at the end of The Notebook."
Clara snickered and said, "Whatever you say, Doctor. Whatever you say."