Carth swung off the bed, his hands, eyes, searching for his pistols. His thigh screamed in protest as he rose, needle sharp pain shot through his side and thunder erupted in his head. He reached back, steadying himself until the feeling washed over him. Blasters, Rodian. His hand moved to his side and he grimaced in remembrance. Where are they? I got one, didn't I? But the other? He rose again, adrenaline moving him as the door slid open. Realizing there was no danger his sudden rush left him and his knees buckled. Revan quickly rushed to his side, afraid to touch him, as his body slid down against the platform holding the med slab. "Carth, oh Carth. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry about that beautiful. I'll try not to let anyone else shoot me at such close range." His eyes closed and the words rolled off his tongue in a dreamlike manner.

Beautiful, he called me beautiful. Her moment of excitement was short lived as she recalled the kiss she had shared with Treg. Right here, in this very room! Her face distorted and an eerie sadness covered her.

"Hey." Carth fought to keep his eyes open as he reached out. His closed hand gently gliding down the side of her face before his thumb moved to brush away a tear. "Why the lone face?"

"You need rest Onasi." She reached up, covering his hand with hers, holding it against the side of her face before brushing it against her lips. "Let's get you back on the bed. I … I'm not sure where to touch you."

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet beautiful. Let me get some rest first."

She looked at him confused.

"Relax, it was a joke. Bad one too. Just give me a minute, and then, you can touch me anywhere. It all hurts anyway."

----------------

"Enough Revan" Treg walked steadfast into her quarters, ignoring her hasty grasp as she pulled her robe around her. He didn't care if she had been standing there naked, there were some things she needed to hear and he was going to deliver them.

"Treg, you should have knocked!"

"Why? So you could tell me to go away? So you could ignore me like you have been doing since Onasi woke up? I know what's going on with you Revan and I'm here to tell you that it's enough!"

"I haven't been ignoring you, I have been thinking, trying to intercept transmissions from the Republic fleet, working on –"

"Wallowing in self pity and remorse! The minute that man woke up you looked in his eyes and felt shame and guilt. Not just over our kiss, over everything. You can't look at him without experiencing pangs of contrition. You loathe yourself for every single thing that you ever did wrong. You can never forgive yourself when you are with him. Because you know he can never forgive you. You know that Revan!"

"I don't want to hear anymore."

"I know you don't, but you will. Someone needs to tell you!

"Your relationship developed in a sudden emotional whirlwind. And it was probably good for you both at the time. But then you spent, what, a few happy months together before you left. After that you didn't see each other for years. Years, Revan, where you could cut out the parts you didn't like and mold the relationship into something wonderous. That is what you are in love with, not the reality. You have glorified it and him and when you judge yourself against something like that, you will always fall short."

Revan, so shocked at his words, stood in stark silence, her mouth hanging agape.

"You claim you love him, trust him with everything, and I'm sure you believe you do. But you didn't trust him enough to tell him why you left, that you were pregnant."

"I had my reasons."

"Yes you did, you were tired of being judged, you were tired of living a lie, so you left, the perfect excuse in your head. Afraid that you would not be able to accept any more guilt into an already overflowing container. Passion is not enough for a long term relationship. That 25 percent will not bear up well over time and you realized that, it's the real reason you left.

"And look at what happens when you are both together. You have been fighting, arguing, tormenting yourselves and each other. Do you think that's a healthy relationship? Do you?"

Her voice was lost as she tried to form a reply.

"My wife could never forgive me for loosing our child, no matter what the reason, if I was at fault or not. We both realized that and decided we owed ourselves more than that. You too, deserve more." He gestured to a place outside of her door, "He deserves more! Your punishment for your past is not to be constantly judged by someone you love."

Waiting for the door to slide open, he turned to her a final time. His voice turned gentle, saying the words with all the meaning he wanted her to understand, "Revan, sometimes you have to let go of something you love, because you love it."