Carth noticed her approaching, wondering why she had come and silently debating about how much to tell her as he moved to open the hatch. He was upset with her, disappointed, but still he hated to hurt her. And hurt her is what he was going to do if he told her what he had found out about Treg. Which amounted to, pretty much nothing. A message sent to the republic about the attempted assination on his life, enough reason to validate all his suspicions but still not enough to say exactly what Treg was up to. Despite the concern for Revan's feelings he couldn't help his sarcastic and sour greeting.

"Have you been enjoying yourself?" he asked as she walked up the ramp.

"Please Carth, I am very much here for business not because of Treg."

"Yeah, about him - "

She really didn't want to get into this again with him. Right now she had more pressing things on her mind. Those pressing thoughts had been invading her mind ever since they landed and the feeling was only growing stronger. She knew it was the real reason she had wanted to stay, but so far, she had been unable to voice any of those reasons to Carth. Perhaps it was partially her fault, since she didn't even understand them herself. All she knew, somehow, was that being here, right now, was where she was supposed to be. Unfortunately, she also felt that it was the exact wrong place for her to be right now too. "Carth, there are reasons I wanted to stay and they have nothing to do with him."

His jaw set in a hard line, "And there are reasons we should just leave now and they have everything to do with him."

Letting out a deep sigh Revan realized she would not be able to avoid this conversation. Not with the way Carth's jaw was set and his eyes narrowed in determination. Still, she had to try, "I don't know why I bothered to even come here if Treg is all you want to talk about."

He was almost apologetic in his reply when he decided to tell her what he knew, "Revan, he's not who you think he is. He sent a transmission, X-14 recorded it. I think you should listen." ………………… Assassination attempt 6 standard hours ago, target survived. Assassins down, dumping bodies out of airlock at the following location, forward report to ALM after examination. Over.

The transmission hit Revan like a meteorite. Her stomach knotted and she found the air hard to breathe. Instinct told her to carry on as if it meant nothing but the familiar surroundings allowed her a more personal reaction. Unfortunately, she also knew Carth's eyes were trained on her, watching for her reaction. In all honesty, she had no idea how to react after hearing the message. She had trusted Treg, absolutely, positively, from the start. To hear his voice, so cold, so uncaring, report about what had been, not just emotionally but also physically, so devasting to her, was more than she could stomach. She had never felt so betrayed before.

Assimilating this new information into what she had originally come to discuss with Carth gave her more questions than answers. She was almost certain that someone was invading her thoughts, through the force, guiding her down the dark path. Something besides the implant. Now she had to wonder if had been Treg all along.She gave a few jerks of her head to clear her mind, wondering if the certainty of Treg's good intentions had been entirely misguided. I trusted him, no one could be that evil and hide it the way he has …

"I have to go back Carth. I have to know -"

He replied immediately, "NO! You don't! Dammit Revan, let's just leave. We can figure all that out later, after we find our kids."

She fumbled with her words, "Carth I can't. I have to know … there must be some explanation. I can't believe all my intuition was so wrong. I cannot leave him like this." She couldn't continue aloud, instead she spoke silently to herself, I have to know if he is the one guiding me towards the dark side, if all you thought and said about what I was inviting into my life is true.

Carth couldn't contain his fury. He couldn't believe she was making excuses for him, Doesn't she see now that he lied to us! Why the hell does she insist on seeing him again? How can she feel so strongly for that man?

"Dammit Revan, I love you and I'm not going to let you do this! I refuse to believe that you still don't love me. That he has become so important to you. Did you lie to me on the Fore Runner when you said you would never leave me? Was that just another one of your twisted actions?" His voice was not alone, as not just it but also his actions spoke the fury he was feeling. He was desperate and the way he seemed to be loosing control frightened her.

Her voice softened, hoping to calm him and bring back the person she could recognize, "This isn't about Treg. You are the only one I love Carth but all we do is hurt each other, since the beginning of our relationship. It's time we both admitted that. You have never forgiven me for all the things I did in my past, who I was. It's hard for me to forgive myself. I wake up every day with regrets and now that my memories are returning it gets harder and harder to put all that aside and carry on." Trying to hide the well of tears that were forming in her eyes she continued in a stronger voice, "I need someone to talk to, someone who won't judge me based on my past actions. I'm tired of waking up and putting all that aside, acting like it doesn't bother me, that it doesn't affect me." Looking up she pleaded with him to understand her next words and the sacrifice it was to her, "I know the subject is painful for you, that's why I'd never be able to talk to you about it. I don't doubt that you love me and I hope you know I love you, but, sometimes," she took a gulp of air, "well, sometimes love isn't enough. I'm sorry Carth."

His jaw tightened as he tried to remain as calm as he could, "You're wrong Revan. Love is enough, our love is enough. Maybe acceptance isn't forgiveness, but eventually I would have come around. I know I'm not the most emotionally supportive guy but I would have tried, for you, if you had just asked. Since I met you, you have always asked more of me than what I thought I could provide. It may have taken me awhile but each time I rose to that challenge. I grew because of you and I would have continued to grow as I met your challenges. I don't know what lies he's feeding into your head but they're wrong. You're wrong! And I intend to prove that."

His eyes were filled with emotion, with determination, with love. For a moment she believed everything he was saying, she drank it in, let it quench her, appreciating it for what it simply was, much as one who had been walking through the Tatooine desert and had finally found water. Tentatively reaching her hand out she brought it to rest against the side of his cheek. "Carth, it's not for the reasons you believe, but I have to go back." She knew her own eyes, gazing back at Carth, were filled with that same love and she knew the moment he recognized it too when a small smile broke out lighting up his entire face. If only this is how he could always look at me.

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she let her hand drop. The last thing she noticed before blinking the tears from her eyes was the smile fading from his face. The next thing she felt was two sturdy arms wrapping around her waist. He pulled her toward him, letting one hand gently push her face against his shoulder as his fingers caressed the back of her head. "I've never known you to run from a challenge Revan. Consider me, consider us, your greatest challenge."

His other hand slid down her neck, cupping her chin, bringing it up to meet his face as he continued to speak. "I never said I was easy to live with, I always knew you weren't," he said with a grin. "But if you feel anything close to what I am feeling right now then you know this is right. We are right." Sealing that with a kiss that brushed over her top lip, his lips moved to speak into her ear in the softest and most emotionally filled tone she had ever heard from him. So painful and compassionate were his words that they twisted her insides into a heart stopping knot.

"I love you so deeply it hurts. I'm helpless to make you understand. This is territory so unfamiliar to me that it scares me. Sometimes when I look at you I'm afraid that I don't deserve something so wonderful, that this is all a dream and I'll wake up and lose you forever, that I'll never, ever, be enough. Just a small percentage of the happiness you bring to me could shower hundreds of planets in supreme bliss. And in return I have nothing to offer you except my own joy and a love that radiates from my very soul." He took her head in both his hands and leaned in to cover her mouth with his. He drank in all she offered, tasted her until he could no longer hold off the fight for air. "I love you. Everything you are, everything you were. From the moment you were born until the day you take your last breath of air. Can you ever love me so completely Revan? Am I just a fool to think that you could love me in this same, all encompassing way?"

Revan was dumbfounded. First at the emotionally charged way he had spoken to her, so uncharacteristic for the man she knew. Second at what he had said as she suddenly felt like a complete idiot. That's what I see? That's the look! When I see fear it's not directed at me but at himself, fear of losing what we have, of losing me. And when I see disbelief it is because he doesn't feel worthy of my love, thinking I don't feel the same. Him thinking that this will end is the sadness that all his fears will come to pass, that I don't feel the same about him, that he will never satisfy me. And the fault is none other than his own! His own feelings of insecurity. Oh force, have I been this stupid? I've had the look all wrong! He doesn't look at me with those feelings, they are all directed inward! That's why they've always been there! From the moment he admitted his feelings to me, to himself, all those years ago, he has been saddled with feeling incompetent, unworthy and undeserving.

Her eyes grew wide as she looked into his face, realization dawning. Uncontrollably her nostrils flared and her jaw drooped. She saw him grow hesitant at her reaction and she tried to reassure him by bringing her arms around him, burying her face into his sturdy chest as she spoke, "I've been so selfish Carth, I always thought it was about me."

His arms wrapped around her tightly, "Revan, I retreat to things I can understand, make more sense of, hide behind. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to lose you anymore now than I did before." His body stiffened for a slight second before he continued, "Do you … do you feel the same? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Of all times her voice left her. She could only reply by squeezing him tighter, holding him against her as firmly as he was holding her. Neither seemed to care when their muscles stiffened from the prolonged hold. Nor were they privy to the changes on the exterior of the planet as light faded into dusk, then turned to darkness. Without words they were communicating on a level that brought them both to a greater understanding. They didn't need to speak of the children, they both knew how the other felt and how deeply it affected them. Endorsing words of affection and professed love were no longer necessary. Their hearts were beating together, sharing the quickened paces that slowly wound down into a steady, mesmerizing beat. Indeed the galaxy seemed to fade. Nothing else seemed to matter, for the first time in years they completely, utterly, understood one another. Until finally, reality came back into play.

"Carth, I have to go back." The words were muffled as she spoke them while her body was still tightly in his hold. The heat from them scorched a hole directly into his heart from where her mouth rested. Feeling him stiffen, she raised her hand to his jaw and looked up at him, "Don't be jealous. Now that I know how you truly feel there's no one else for me."

"So he was…"

Wonderful, accepting, passionate but it's you I love so damn much Onasi. "A good friend." Pushing her lips against his, she sent all her love to him, sipping on him a big longer than necessary before pulling back. The only way she could think of to reassure him and let him know how much she loved him was to repeat what he had said to her earlier, "I love you with a depth that radiates from my soul Carth Onasi."

Reluctantly they moved from their embrace, speaking everything they were feeling through their single departing kiss.