Chapter Four: King of Swing

Johnny Storm was a daredevil by nature. He had tried almost every extreme sport known to man, and suffered at least ten near-death experiences before ever being called 'The Human Torch'. Unlike Peter, Johnny had been popular his entire life. So, as one could imagine, gaining superpowers that didn't involve being transformed into a hideous rock monster only inflated his already unbalanced ego.

Whenever Peter swung by the Baxter Building at this time of day, Johnny was more often than not just sitting around wasting time whilst Reed Richards worked away in the lab on some incredible scientific research. Peter, as much as he would drool over being able to watch the Reed Richards in his element, would always be reeled in by Johnny and his unwavering social ability.

"Yeah. I dunno about that." Peter declared as he munched on a huge mouthful of Doritos, eyes pinned on the TV.

Johnny, who was sitting on the couch with him, threw his arms up in defeat, groaned harshly "Dude, it's a movie. Give them some slack."

"Classic textbook response. That just means that I'm right and you don't have anything else to say."

"No, it means that I don't care about your stupid science and how that makes 'Aliens' a bad movie."

Peter, who was still dressed in his Spidey outfit without the mask, pointed at the screen and said "Hey, I am not saying Aliens is a bad movie. A bad movie is 'Conan The Barbarian'."

"What? Conan? Arnie Conan?"

"Yeah." Peter replied, throwing a chip into his mouth.

"Oh shut up. That movie's freaking great."

"I had no idea what was going on at least eighty-six percent of the time."

"Eighty-six? Why eighty-six?" Johnny pressed in confusion.

"Because James Earl Jones randomly transforming into a snake man was just too damn cool, so I removed four percent from the 'not knowing what the hell was happening' rate."

"You're crazy, man. Then what's a good movie?"

"Ninja Turtles. The nineties one."

"Bro."

"You didn't like that?" The wall-crawler mused in disbelief.

"It was fine but Jesus, Pete. That's a kid's movie."

"I dunno, Shredder gets thrown into a garbage truck and Casey Jones flicks the switch incredibly nonchalantly, like he wasn't brutally murdering somebody."

"Messed up shit can still happen in kid's movies. Just look at 'Hunchback of Notre Dame'. That priest dude wanted to screw that chick so he was like 'hey girl, either you screw me or I'll burn you at the stake, bro'. That's pretty damn crazy."

"Yeah I guess you're right. What was that guy's name? Frodo? Froyo?"

"I dunno. Don't really care either."

The room fell silent and the pair watched on as Sigourney Weaver waved a flamethrower around looking incredibly sweaty and tense. The crunching of Doritos in Peter's mouth and the sound of Johnny slurping soda through a straw were overlaid by the movie's audio.

"So...when you gettin' back together with MJ?" Johnny finally asked after a particularly loud gulp of his beverage.

Peter almost choked on one of the chips that he had stuffed down his throat. He knew that this subject would come up eventually, it always did with Johnny. "Can't you go one visit without asking me that?"

"Nope." Johnny smirked. "I need to know whether she's available or not."

"First of all, she doesn't date idiots." Peter started, and as expected, Johnny interrupted before he could finish his statement

"The fact that she dated you proves that wrong, Pete."

"Secondly," Peter emphasised. "The answer's the same as last time. I don't see us getting back together any time soon. We live completely different lives. It just doesn't work anymore."

"Won't that be a problem with every 'normal' girl you date?"

"This was different. She was keeping stuff from me." Peter sighed and slumped into the couch. It was the comfiest seat that he'd ever sat in, but that was of no consolation when it came to the topic of MJ. "Like she got hit on by this douchebag photographer, and lost her modelling gig because she fought back, but didn't tell me because she thought I had enough to worry about. She said that my problems were so much bigger than hers, but that's not how a relationship should work. After I found out, I realised that I was starting to do the exact same thing. We grew apart. I'll always care about her, but she requires a better man than I am."

Johnny tapped his index finger against the cup in his hand. Serious talk wasn't really his strong point. "Ah...well, it's probably for the best. She was way out of your league."

Peter shot him a glare, and the young playboy smiled nervously.

"I mean...you're out of hers?" This time it didn't sound convincing at all. It was painfully obvious that Johnny thought that Peter should have been dating some Neanderthal with limited speech capabilities and a face that looked like it had been hit by a few trucks. Not just one. A few. That was his league, apparently. That or stereotypical science girls. "Come on, man. You know she was way too hot for you."

"Gee...thanks a lot for the pep talk." Peter groaned.

Johnny rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and though the conversation should have been over, he decided to drag it on. It was one of Johnny's very limited talents. "Find a rebound yet?"

Suddenly Peter's hunched shoulder's straightened, and with a particularly annoyed stare at his supposed 'friend', Peter said "She's not a rebound!"

Of course, as is typical Peter Parker fashion, he didn't realise that his little outburst had given the answer away until it was much too late.

Johnny's grin widened at this news. "Oh, so there is someone?"

"No..." Peter mumbled, but Johnny has already figured it out. "I mean, yes, but it's not like that. I barely even speak to her."

"Alright. I need details. Name, age, and pictures. Have you added her on Facebook yet?"

"I'm not sure if she has Facebook. She doesn't seem like the type." He retorted lowly.

"Dude, everyone has Facebook." Johnny laughed. He sounded like a hyena on steroids. "Even Reed has an account, and you know how out of touch he is. Honestly, I don't know how you haven't already looked her up."

"Maybe because it's creepy and I'm not a stalker?" Peter replied, though this wasn't the full truth. He had just been so busy of late that the thought hadn't crossed his mind.

"It's not stalking, it's research." Johnny reached into his pocket and pulled out the latest mobile developed by Relint; a subsidiary company owned by Stark Industries. They developed all the boring, everyday stuff like laptops and phones, except they weren't boring at all. Unlike Peter's old and battered Nokia, Reliant mobiles were constantly developing. They came equipped with almost everything you could think of. Johnny passed this extremely expensive phone to Peter. "Log into your Facebook."

Peter hesitated to take it. Everything he ever touched seemed to break. That wasn't an exaggeration. There was a reason that he always refused to hold people's babies. "Why not just log into yours?"

"I got banned...temporarily."

Peter wished that he could say that this came as a surprise, but it really didn't. Johnny was completely unfiltered. He said whatever came to his mind, offensive or not, and had such a hunger for fame that he did terribly stupid things just to stay in the limelight. Once Peter even had to convince him out of the disturbing idea to star in an adult film... That's why Peter didn't ask why he got banned. He didn't want to know. Instead, he complied with Johnny's request and swiftly handed the mobile back to him before it got the chance to slip from his fingers.

"That wasn't so hard, right?" Johnny mocked as his eyes scanned Peter's homepage. It was probably the saddest thing he had ever seen. The feed was bombarded with science pages; the first picture of a black hole, and information on new elements being added to the periodic table. Even worse was that he only had fifteen friends. Two of which were taken up by MJ's old and new accounts. Another was his Aunt May, and his childhood friend Harry Osbourne. The rest were random people from his Chemical Engineering classes. "Wow...I'd hate to see your Twitter."

"I don't have Twitter."

"Of course you don't." Johnny shook his head, and instead focused on finding Peter's new flame. "So, what's her name?"

Peter had the sudden urge to lie, just to shorten this experience by as much as possible...but any name he came up with, statistically speaking, was likely to belong to a few hundred people. Sifting through those would take even longer. "Annabelle Lee."

Johnny made a visibly amused expression at the out-of-date name, but typed it in regardless. Peter scooted closer and peered at the screen curiously. There was a relatively surprising number of results, but only two within New York. One was a woman of fifty-two, and unless she had some miracle de-aging cream, he doubted that was her.

The second profile had a picture that made Johnny do a double take, and Peter laugh so loudly that Reed Richards could hear it from two rooms over. It was a severely altered screenshot of Captain Kirk. Not the Chris Pine version, the original William Shatner one.

"Is...that her?" Johnny managed to choke out.

"I sure hope so." Peter said between chuckles. MJ had never been a fan of Star Trek, which was fine, but the original series held a special place in Peter's heart. He used to watch it with his Uncle Ben.

Upon clicking onto her profile, they both found that she had no real pictures of herself. It was filled, instead, with a plethora of memes. In her information section it said that she attended the same college as Peter, and was majoring in Literature.

"Yeah. That's gotta be her."

"Oh, so she's just as weird as you are." Johnny raised an eyebrow, still trying desperately to find a picture of her. It was no use. She wasn't even tagged in anything. "Alright. Plan B. Where does she work?"

"No." Was Peter's quick response. "That's not happening."

"Never mind. She has it on her Facebook." Johnny grinned mischievously. "Burgatori. Sick. They have some awesome fries."

"Johnny..." Peter pleaded. He had already been tricked there by MJ a few days ago. If he went again it might look like he was following her or something. Peter panicked at the thought. "We're not going."

—————————-

Peter stood outside of Burgatori with a frown. This wasn't a good idea, but Johnny had basically forced him to throw some civilian clothes on and dragged him out the door. He even threatened that, if Peter didn't tag along, he would tell Annabelle about that time that he ate too many Doritos and puked all over Johnny's five hundred dollar jeans. It didn't occur to Peter that Johnny still didn't know what Annabelle looked like until they had already arrived.

"Alright, just follow my lead. I've done this tons of times. You go up to her, snap your fingers," He demonstrated, and a small flicker of fire hovered over his fingernail. "and say, 'Flame on, baby'."

Peter narrowed his eyes at his moronic friend. "Yeah, except I'm not you."

"But you get the point, right?" Johnny insisted. "Just lift up your shirt, show her that iconic blue and red suit, and watch her fall for you."

"Are you crazy?" Peter whispered harshly. "If the wrong people find out who I really am, then it'll put everyone I love in danger..."

Johnny shrugged. "Everyone knows who I am and it's worked out pretty well for me."

"That's because almost everyone you care about has powers." Peter argued back. This subject always got him riled up, especially with Johnny who had absolutely no idea what it was like to be responsible for the safety of others. "Your sister's the Invisible Woman, your brother-in-law is Mr. Fantastic, your roommate's The Thing, and your ex-girlfriend's Nova! MJ's powers begin and end with her looks, and my Aunt May is really good at praying. That's it. They can't fend against the people that I fight."

Johnny exhaled heavily. "Fine, calm down. There are ways to do this without revealing that you're the king of swing."

Peter's nose scrunched up, as if he'd just watched someone blow a spit bubble. "Ew. Don't ever call me that again."

Johnny smirked, like the douchebag that he was, and said "Which one is she?"

For the first time since they had arrived, Peter dared to glance across the road. It didn't take long to spot her. She was wiping down a few tables whilst speaking to a couple of elderly diners. She was wearing a fuzzy polka-a-dot jumper, sparkling stockings, and a skirt that fell modestly below her knees. Her hair didn't look like meatballs today. It was, instead, wrapped around her head in a moderately long plait; like a crown of brown hair.

Peter pointed in her direction, and though she was in plain sight, Johnny squinted. "Where? I don't see anyone."

Peter huffed. "She's right in front of you."

Johnny gave an exaggerated shrug. This was the moment that Peter truly knew that his friend was an idiot. "All I see are a few old people and-..." He cut himself off and stared even harder in Belle's direction. "No...please tell me that's not her."

Peter's frown only intensified at his words. "What do you mean?"

"Pete, she dresses like my great grandma. Actually, I thought she was my grandma. My dead grandma. I mean, you seriously downgraded from MJ."

The young scientist's jaw clenched, but he didn't want to cause a scene with Annabelle so close by. "You really are an asshole."

Johnny crossed his arms, still staring at the smiling girl. "Well, on the bright side, she shouldn't be too hard to pick up."

Peter swallowed the insults that he wanted to hiss at Johnny for teasing someone like Annabelle. He wanted to retaliate, but that would only draw more attention to them...and Peter was feeling anxious enough as it was. "Whatever, if you don't like her then that's probably a good sign. Means she's actually respectable."

Without even trying to defend himself, or the many women he'd been with, Johnny sauntered across the road. Peter noted that he didn't wait for the pedestrian lights to turn green.

Each step brought Johnny Storm closer to Peter's crush. He could hear her speaking to some old folks about prehistoric music that he had never heard of; like 'Little Richard' and 'The Beach Boys'. Despite this, and her obvious lack of fashion, Johnny found himself thinking that perhaps Peter wasn't completely crazy for liking her. Upon closer inspection she had a fairly decent face; big blue eyes and a smile that lit them up like two distant stars in the reflection of an ocean. Her passable appearance was buried though beneath uncountable layers of weirdness.

Johnny cleared his throat, straightened his posture and sported the usual panty-dropping smile. "Hey, baby."

Annabelle whipped around, much like a Meerkat caught in headlights, just as she was beginning to clear a ketchup bottle from one of the many tables. She paused for a second, allowing her mind time to register who she was seeing. It wasn't long before she realised that it was the Human Torch.

Then a noise emanated from her throat that I, as the narrator limited to the shallow medium of text, can not replicate with necessary fidelity. It was somewhere between a screaming goat and a dying cat. Subconsciously, she squeezed the sauce bottle grasped in her hands. Ketchup splashed all over Johnny's designer jacket.

"O-Oh my god!" Annabelle gasped in absolute horror at her own actions. She swiftly placed the sauce bottle back down on the table, to which it swayed from side to side before completely toppling over, and then reached for a bundle of wipes. She immediately started rubbing at the red saucey stain, but it only seemed to be making it worse. "I'm s-so sorry Mr Torch, sir."

Johnny, quite frankly, was in shock. Not only had his custom made jacket been smeared with a sticky condiment, but she was now trying to scrub it off with an alcohol wipe; something that was clearly only embedding the stain into his clothing. Still, Johnny knew that Peter was watching and that the web-head would get way too much joy out of watching him lose his cool. So, he tried one more time. A last ditch effort to flirt with the clueless woman. "Uh, you can...call me Johnny. Don't worry about the stain, I'm sure it'll come out..."

"Jesus Christ almighty, I can't believe I did that." The girl gulped in clear mortification, ceasing her attempts to clean off the ketchup. The wipe was pink now, and full of holes from the force she had used. That stain definitely wasn't coming out. "I really am so sorry Johnny Torch...I m-mean, Human Johnny...I mean-"

The man finally put his hand up to silence her. Annabelle's painful babbling was too much for even him to bare. Fearing that speaking again might trigger another flurry of words to escape the clumsy waitress, he turned on his heels and slunked back over to Peter. It was hard not to see the beam of laughter that was threatening to burst onto his face.

"So..." Peter said in a strained voice, trying desperately to keep his amusement at bay. "How'd it go?"

Johnny's expression was unreadable, but that tended to happen when your favourite thousand dollar jacket was destroyed. "She's...perfect for you."

With that, he left. Without so much as a goodbye. Johnny's mind was too preoccupied on finding a dry cleaner and asking them about sauce stains. At his departure, Peter's gaze fell back onto Annabelle who looked absolutely humiliated. Her head was in her hands, and her entire body seemed to shrink into itself. It was almost as if she were internally wishing to be swallowed up by the ground.

Seeing Belle so distressed tugged a few familiar chords inside of Peter's chest. He knew exactly how she felt. There was rarely a day that went by when Peter didn't make a fool of himself.

The previous fear of speaking to her slowly vanished, and instead he could think of nothing more than cheering her up. So he stepped towards the restaurant and picked up the ketchup bottle that had fallen over. "Umm...this yours?"

Annabelle's entire expression seemed to cringe at the sound of someone speaking to her after what had happened, let alone a person that she knew from college. Belle turned with pained eyes and carefully took the condiment from Peter's hands. "Y-You saw all of that?"

"N-No..." Peter lied, but it was obvious that she didn't believe him. "I mean, yeah, but it's not a big deal. Johnny's a jerk. He'll live."

Though he had intended to ease Annabelle's stress, it only heightened it. "You're friends with the Johnny Storm? Oh my god, did I embarrass you in front of him? Or him in front of you? Or me?... I embarrassed everyone, didn't I? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. What am I going to do? I'll never live this down."

Belle was cute when she swore, Peter noticed, but he quickly reminded himself that this wasn't the time to be admiring his wreck of a crush. She was panicking, and the whirlwind of words coming from her mouth only became longer, and faster, and closer together. The solution was clear. Peter had to outweigh her embarrassment with his own. It was the only way. A sacrifice to be made for the good of mankind...or to erase the severe frown on Annabelle's face, which was basically the same as saving everyone on the planet because if she wasn't smiling then how was the sun going to get its light?

Well, the technical answer was through a nuclear reaction called fusion; as atoms of hydrogen combined to form helium, they produced vast amounts of heat and light...but it would probably help if Belle was smiling. It certainly couldn't hurt the process.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I've done a lot worse." Peter said in a hushed tone, as if this were a secret that he was entrusting to her. "Once I ate too many Doritos and puked on his jeans. He smelt like cheese for the rest of the day. The stain's still there. At least now he has a jacket to go with it."

Annabelle's mood immediately appeared to shift from self-pitying guilt to surprise. "You did?"

Peter tried not to regret his decision of telling her. It was embarrassing, but it at least gave her a break from the shame she had felt. "Yeah. I never know how many Doritos are too many until after I've already finished the whole packet. Johnny tends to steer clear of me whenever I eat around him now."

There was a moment, however brief, in which the remnants of a smile flickered onto Belle's face. She had a pretty smile. Prettier than even MJ's. "I've...done that too."

That sentence suspended in the air around them. Peter stared at her, searching for any indication that this was a lie, but he knew that it wasn't. Honestly, who the hell would lie about something like that anyway?

"You've gone into Dorito overload as well?" Peter asked, just to confirm that he had heard her correctly. She nodded, and Peter fell into awe. She liked Doritos. She liked Doritos so much that she'd vomited from eating too many. If there truly was a god, you know...besides Thor, then this was substantial evidence that he existed.