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The trip to the Citadel seemed to take forever. Shepard hung over the bed in medbay where Kaidan lay, still and silent, his breathing disturbingly shallow. It was as much as she could do to keep her fingers away from the comm link in her collar—Joker was getting there as quickly as he could, she knew that, and pestering him wouldn't help … but she couldn't bear to see Kaidan like this.
Tearing herself away at last, she updated Admiral Hackett on what had occurred on Mars, although she left out Liara bringing the robot back onto the Normandy. If Liara got some info out of it, all the better, and if she didn't, why raise hopes and give rise to questions? Then she contacted the Citadel to make sure there would be no issue with the Normandy docking as quickly and efficiently as possible, alerting them to have medical staff on hand ready to meet the ship. With the time she had to spare, she considered contacting Thane, but decided she would seek him out in person, instead. She wanted to focus on seeing him again and the joy she felt at the prospect, but Kaidan's bruised and battered face kept appearing in her mind instead. Of all the things Shepard hated, having a crewmember injured or killed on her watch was the worst. And it was especially hard to take when the crewmember was someone as special as Kaidan.
The rest of the skeleton crew that had been aboard the ship when Joker took off with it during the attack on Earth kept their distance. Shepard appreciated that. There would no doubt be time to get acquainted with them all later.
Looking out the window of the lounge, watching the stars go by, as if counting them could make the ship go faster, Shepard wondered where the others were. Wrex was on Tuchanka, of course. Garrus on Palaven. Tali with the Migrant Fleet. Had the Reapers made it that far yet? They would, eventually, she knew that with cold certainty. Grunt, Jack, Miranda, Kasumi … Her people were spread across the galaxy, and she worried about each of them in the dark times to come.
At last they were docking, and Shepard was glad to see a medical team waiting. They lost no time getting Kaidan on a stretcher. She was frightened by their grave faces and worried looks, and was relieved to see them hurry off in the direction of the hospital.
"Will you follow him to the hospital or speak to the Council first?" Liara asked her, gently.
"Hospital. I need to know that Kaidan is all right before I deal with the Council. And … I need to see Thane."
Vega, on her other side, frowned. "You're putting the welfare of one man above all of Earth?"
"He's part of my crew. I take care of my people. Besides." She turned her head to look at Vega, meeting his eyes, not minding the anger in them. She would have felt the same in his place. "The Council already knows what's happened to Earth, and I'm sure they've made up their minds not to help. I have to be clear-headed when I go in front of them, and I won't be as long as I'm worried that one of my people is … Until I know that Kaidan's all right."
Grudgingly, Vega admitted that was a decent point. He and Liara took off for different parts of the Citadel, and Shepard made her way straight for the hospital.
Kaidan was in surgery. There was nothing to do but wait. So wait she did, pacing back and forth in the tiny room set aside for friends and family, trying to clear her thoughts so she could plan how to deal with the Council, but unable to stop herself from turning, her heart leaping with hope, every time the door slid open.
At last, the person coming through the door was Kaidan's doctor. "He made it through surgery. He's pretty tough. Not a lot of people could have survived that."
"You have no idea."
"You can see him, but he's still sedated, so he won't be talking much." He offered a faint smile.
Kaidan looked better, lying there in the hospital bed. Still too motionless, too bruised, but there was more color to his cheeks and his breathing was easier. He was going to make it, she told herself. He had to.
She whispered his name, but he slept on, unaware of her presence. "I hate seeing you like this," she told him. "I don't know if you can hear me, or know I'm here, but at least you can't tell me to get the hell out of here, either. I …" But she didn't know what she wanted to say. "Don't die," she said at last. "That's an order, Major. We need you in this." She cleared her throat. "Seeing you in action again reminded me that you're a hell of a soldier. The Alliance will need you. And … so will I."
Behind her, the doctor came in, glancing at her pointedly as he made notes in his chart.
"I'll be back, Kaidan. I look forward to seeing you on your feet again."