Thank you for reading!
Thane found the time while Shepard was meeting with the Council hanging unusually heavily on his hands. It had been six months without seeing her, surely he was used to it by now. But knowing she was here on the Citadel, having enjoyed the all-too-brief reunion he had despaired of ever experiencing, he found he was greedy for more. Especially knowing that she would undoubtedly be sent off somewhere else on someone else's business entirely too soon.
He whiled away the time tidying up his quarters. They were already neat, but looking at them with a critical eye he felt they were not suitable for Shepard. Whatever time they had been miraculously granted, he wanted it to be perfect for her. She hadn't wanted to speak about the destruction she had seen on Earth, but he had seen enough of the vids to know that the invasion had been massive, carefully coordinated, and aimed at creating the greatest amount of chaos possible. She had been lucky to have escaped with her life, and the need to get back there and be part of defending her home planet had to be weighing on her. Thane wanted to offer her sanctuary, a haven where she could relax and refresh herself before she had to be Commander Shepard again, talking the rest of the galaxy into doing what they shouldn't have needed to be told to do.
At last she returned, her face lined with the tension he had expected to see.
"Come." He led her to a seat, putting a glass of wine into her hand before he asked her any questions. Then he took his seat on the end of the couch, lifted her feet into his lap, removed her shoes, and began massaging the tension out of her.
"Oh, that feels lovely. Thank you." Juniper took a sip of wine, and leaned her head back.
"How bad was it?" Thane asked after a moment.
"About what I expected. They said they couldn't help Earth because they needed to secure their own borders, they downplayed the need for us all to work together against the Reapers, and they said how sorry they were about what had happened." She sighed.
"They spent too long convincing themselves that there is no such thing."
"Yes, but by the time circumstances convince them otherwise, it may well be too late. They at least promised to send some assistance to help build this weapon Liara found the blueprints for. That's something. But it's as much a gamble as anything else, since we don't know what it does, and all we do know is that the Protheans never finished it." She sighed heavily. "Maybe we're all doomed to that same fate, to nearly complete the ultimate weapon only to fail at the last minute."
Thane slid closer to her. "That does not sound like you, Siha."
"I'm so tired, Thane. I spent all this time fighting—Saren, the geth, the Collectors—and trying to prepare the galaxy. I gave up so much." She reached for his hand. "All the time we could have spent together. And for what? To be caught with our pants down." Shepard gave a faint smile. "And not in the good way."
He squeezed her hand. "You did what needed to be done. No one begrudges you that. Least of all me. I am grateful to have had as much time with you as we have managed."
"Thank you." She sighed, taking a long swallow of the wine. "I stopped in to talk to Bailey. His children …"
"I am aware." Bailey's estranged son and daughter were on Earth. Any chance he might have had to repair the relationship was probably gone now.
"You know I had never been to Earth before we went." She smiled at him, remembering.
Thane smiled, too, the memories of the heat and the long nights with Shepard in his arms coming back to him. He pushed them down—there would be time enough to dwell in memory when she was gone again.
"I'm so glad we did that. If we hadn't … I would have hated for my only memories of my homeworld to be the Alliance headquarters and the destruction of Vancouver."
"I understand."
"But I feel so guilty talking to people like Bailey, who loved Earth, who have loved ones missing—and worse—there, knowing that to me it's no different from any other planet. We brought the soldier who had been guarding me, James, along with us, and he was … He couldn't understand how we could leave Earth while it was under attack. I hate to run from a fight as much as the next person, but—it was just a lot easier for me."
"That is understandable. I imagine you are far from being the only human in the galaxy who finds their ties to the homeworld tenuous."
"No, you're probably right. That doesn't make it feel better right now, though."
Thane gathered both her hands in his. "Siha, you have done and continue to do more than any hundred other humans have done to prevent what happened and to discover how to fight back against the Reapers. You will continue to do so, if I know anything about you at all. But you must not surrender yourself to guilt, or despair."
"That's easier said than done."
"Yes. That is why not everyone can do it." He smiled at her. "But you can."
"Can I? I don't know anymore."
Thane realized that no words of his were going to comfort her, not at the moment. He knew her well enough to know that this mood would pass, and her determination would return to her. But she needed time, and to be taken out of herself.
Taking the wineglass from her hand, he set it down on the table. Then he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, deliberately, leaving no doubt about his intentions.
Juniper submitted gratefully to the kiss, quite evidently glad for the chance to stop thinking for the time being. Thane regretted that he no longer had the strength to lift her and carry her to the bed, but he walked her there, slowly, kissing her and relieving her of her clothing as they went. Then he laid her down on the bed and proceeded to spend the rest of the night ensuring that her thoughts were thoroughly occupied.