An Alternate Origin

by kittyface27

What if Toya didn't leave after he was burnt? What if he stayed with the Todorokis? Would he have turned into a villain? And what if he had a best friend with him, who was just as fucked up from the hero world as he was? Would he have become a bad guy at all, or would it have just been very different? Trigger warnings in chapter.

Trigger warnings for child abuse, self-harm, and *technical* "substance abuse". Enjoy~

---

Toya sat on his bed with the mirror propped up in front of him. He had a sewing needle in his hand as he used rubbing alcohol to clean his nose. He carefully and slowly pressed the needle into his nostril. He hissed at the pain, but it wasn't unpleasant. It felt nice. He watched as it sunk into his face until he felt the tip breach the other edge of his skin and poke into the inside of his nose. Pulling it back out, he cleaned it and then pressed the piercing in.

He tossed the needle into the trash and got the base of the piercing up his nose to keep it in place. A nice silver ball. He'd always liked piercings, even if he had to do them himself at home since his father never approved. He didn't approve of most things Toya did. But that made them all the more better to do!

Unwrapping the bandages off his forearms, he saw the nice, shallow cuts in his burnt skin. He couldn't feel it there, and he usually targeted his thighs, but he had a bunch there just to make it look bad. So he could rub it in his father's face that he was a cutter. That pissed him off. It was great! Even if things hurt, he enjoyed doing them to infuriate his father. To see how far he could push.

Putting a tank top on, a low V-neck to show off his neck and chest burns, he left his room. There were wrappers all over the bed and clothes thrown on the floor. He had his bedside table full of the supplies he used to take care of his burn scars every night by himself. He put on shorts to show off his burnt legs, too.

It wasn't like he was proud that his quirk wrecked his body. But he liked how it bothered Endeavor. It put him to shame. He had a kid that couldn't control his quirk. Hah, he had a failure. It was great! If he wasn't going to be a total success, then he would rather be a total failure, unlike his well rounded younger siblings.

The sixteen year old walked down the hall, barefoot, not wearing the stupid slippers, and headed into the kitchen. "Hey, bitch," he greeted his mother and went to the fridge to get some food. He pulled out what they'd be eating that night and just scarfed down enough so there wasn't any left for the others.

"Morning, Toya," she said with a sigh, not making eye contact.

"I gave myself another piercing," he bragged. She couldn't help but look over and he pointed to his nose. "I did it pretty clean, there was no blood," he added proudly. She nodded, and said it looked much cleaner than his cartilage piercings. Those had been infected and treated at home. That was back when he wasn't allowed to go to school.

Now he could as long as he used his mother's maiden surname. Couldn't dare have a Todoroki like him out in public. Just because he wasn't legally allowed to use his father's surname didn't mean he kept his mouth shut about whose kid he was. Too bad nobody really believed him. Oh well. It wasn't like it was a big deal.

Sure he wanted to ruin his career, and he was going to get there soon enough, but he didn't need people to believe him just yet. No, he was a work in progress. The more he damaged his body and the more unhinged his behavior became, the closer he was to being exposed and be seen as the number two hero's kid.

Heh, what would they think about that? This damaged kid being the eldest son of the famous Endeavor. He went to the couch and sat on Natsuo's homework. "Toya!" he snapped.

"What?" Toya asked, flicking through the channels with the remote. "Got a problem?"

"You might not care about your grades in school, but I do," the white haired brother said in annoyance. Toya huffed dramatically and stood up for him to take the homework out from under his bum. Then he sat back down and continued to flick through channels obnoxiously, the volume turned up high enough to be aggravating to everyone in the room.

Natsuo simply put headphones on. Fuyumi was at school for a play that nobody had the time to see. Shoto was in his room, nursing some bruises from his beating. He decided to go up there and see how he was. He didn't knock on the door and entered right away. He saw Shoto laying on his futon, looking miserable.

Toya went to the attached bathroom and got some bruise cream. "C'mon, kid. I know you aren't taking care of yourself," he said to the six year old. Shoto sat up and crossed his arms. He asked Toya to knock before coming in. "Why, it's not like your old enough to jackoff." Shoto cocked his head in confusion. "Nevermind."

He crouched next to his youngest brother and lifted his shirt up. He sighed and took the bruise ointment and gently dabbed it on the purple marks. "How bad was training this time?" he asked. He was only ever nice to Shoto. Not his parents or other siblings. They didn't know what it was like to be Toya. To have been him.

The promised child until he wasn't, and then was kicked aside while his father tried to create more experiments. When his siblings got off scott free and were rarely given his time of day, Toya grew to hate them easily. Plus, how they acted about his burns was the nail in the coffin. It was fast, how much he disliked them after their quirks weren't desirable.

Though they were better than Toya's. Where his nearly burnt himself alive and gave him lifelong burn scars that would never fade. "I threw up again," Shoto said in shame. Toya sighed, and put the bandages over the cream area so it would stay moist and help it, also not make a mess when he put his shirt back on.

"Well, you toughed through it, didn't you?"

"He hit mommy again."

"Yeah, well, she was probably asking for it," Toya said dismissively. Shoto huffed, disagreeing. Of course he did. Rei liked him. She'd never liked Toya. At first, he reminded her too much of her husband. Then he was a bad behaved child who she gave up on fairly quickly. She had other kids to love besides the trainwreck that was Toya.

Shoto touched Toya's burn arm. "Is it feeling any better?" It wasn't. But he lied, and said it felt better every day. "Good!" Shoto said brightly.

"Hey, what do you think if I dyed my hair?" Toya asked, sitting on the floor next to his younger brother, who he was only fond of because he suffered the same. He honestly didn't want Shoto to end up like he did, so he was there for him when he could be. When he was good enough to be and wasn't in one of his moods.

The boy asked what color. "Black. Think it'll make me look bad ass with the piercings and scars," Toya answered. "Then I won't look at all like Rei or Endeavor. Not that I resemble either of them anyways," he added. Shoto thought Toya would look cool with black hair.

"You should get pink hair," the young boy said with a smile. Toya laughed, but said he'd look stupid that way. "Why? Pink hair is cool. I want pink hair, too," Shoto said innocently. Toya ruffled his hair and said it would clash with his scars. "But maybe it would make them not so noticeable."

Toya chuckled. "Kid, there ain't no way in hell my hair color could distract from my burns. Even if I got a rainbow mohawk, it wouldn't be the first thing people notice," he said with humor. "Now, no more moping in your room. But guess what I got?" he said in a singsong voice. Shoto looked interested. Toya pulled out a racing game from his waist band. "A new game for you."

"Yay!" Toya didn't mention that he shoplifted it. "I'll make sure to hide it real good, promise." The teen smiled, and put the game in the console, and played with his younger brother, who was surprisingly good at video games despite his age and not being able to play much with school and the beatings (training sessions).

When he lost, Toya pretended to pout, even if it pulled on his tight skin. "You're too good at this. It's not fair." Shoto brightened and giggled. They heard the front door open, and the half and half boy quickly took the game out and hid it under his bathroom closet. There was a gap there that they put the games into. They had all of the disks in one pack so they could fit.

Toya took the case and hid it again. "Well, looks like dear old dad is here," he sighed. "I'm gonna go and show off my new piercing."

"I like it. It's shiny."

"I do, too, kid," Toya said with a fond smile. They both headed downstairs, and Toya discretely went to the back door and tossed the game case over the back wall and onto the sidewalk outside of the property. When Endeavor entered, Toya loudly asked him if he liked his new piercing.

Endeavor ignored him. "C'mon I worked hard with this one," Toya complained at the dinner table. Rei had to make a whole new meal after her out of control son ate everything they were supposed to have. Out of the whole family at the table, Toya did not fit in. He didn't use good manners, he didn't look calm and composed. Stiff.

The main reason he stuck out was not because of that, but his horrific scars. He just didn't fit in with the proper, well groomed Todorokis. Well, he was Himura on all official documents. He wasn't linked to Endeavor except when he said so. Endeavor disowned him as his son a long time ago. Not that Toya particularly cared.

Toya glanced at Shoto, who was picking at his food and not eating. The eldest took his fork and stole some of the youngest's. "Hey!"

"Its not my fault you're leaving out all this food for me to snatch," Toya replied flippantly, but it got Shoto to eat. Good. Toya always finished first, which the rest were glad of because it was less time dealing with him and his issues while they were all eating. When Shoto made to come after him to play more games, Rei stopped him. After all, Toya was a horrific influence.

That's what they thought. But Toya would never try and turn his pure little brother into the mess that he was. Toya was just the product of a lot of unhappy accidents and plenty of neglect. He did his best to give his brother emotional support without encouraging him to go down the path Toya was. Which wasn't a good, respectable one.

"But I wanna play," Shoto complained.

"You don't need to play with the likes of him," Endeavor snapped, silencing the table. Toya decided to burn his costume tonight. So while they ate, he went and took all of Endeavor's boots in his room and seared holes in them. He woke up to the nice shouts of anger in the morning. Ah, satisfying.

-x-

"Well class, we're having someone from class 2-B to our class. Give him a warm welcome." Toya sat with his feet up on his desk, playing with the metal ball attached to his nose. It was a fun fidget. Way better than when he used to mess with his staples. He didn't do that anymore. The transfer student came in. Ah, Hawks. The fucked up kid from the Her Commission before they were burnt to a crisp and replaced with new people. Hawks was known at the school for being a manipulative, pathological liar.

Just another kid fucked up by the hero world. "Hi, everyone!" he said brightly. His smile was well practiced. Nobody was happy to have him there, nobody greeted. Hawks pouted. "Fine, don't be welcoming," he grumbled, also fake, clearly. Now there were two black sheep in this class. Everyone would have to suffer the rest of the school year. Honestly, why put those two in the same damn class? It was hilarious.

The only open seat was, of course, next to Toya. Nobody wanted to sit next to him, either based on appearance or his infamy as the crazed prick. Probably both. Everyone was sure he'd end up dead from drugs or in prison. And both were definitely possible, he knew that. When Hawks sat down (that was his name, he didn't remember his birth name), Toya greeted him.

"So, you're the pathological liar, huh? Heard a lot about you."

"Ah, you're the deranged teen with a bunch of piercings and tattoos! Ah, whoopsie! I meant burn scars," Hawks replied easily. Everyone turned to look at him in shock and concern. But Toya just snorted. Hawks got his things out and put them neatly on his desk. His wings were really big and Toya was momentarily jealous that he got stuck with his fire and Hawks got to fucking fly.

No wonder he was "taken in" by the Commission. Toya paid attention to him all class. Hawks was very well groomed, clean and neat. His handwriting was impeccable and his note taking was ridiculously organized. He even used a ruler to draw boxes around different clumps of text. Then he went over the boxes with different colored highlighters.

When lunch came, he took his and jumped out the window, not wanting to eat inside. Toya decided without hesitation to follow. He knew he'd gone up to the roof, so Toya did as well. He kicked open the door obnoxiously and walked out onto the roof, finding Hawks perched over the edge, eating with a blank look on his face.

"What's up?" he asked brightly when he heard Toya. Everything about him was so fake it was impressive. The white haired teen sat next to him. "Ah, you do get lonely. They all say you don't socialize, yet here you are. Odd."

"You're ridiculous with your neat writing," Toya said while chewing his sandwich. Hawks said he was taught to be extra neat and tidy. "By the Commission?" Toya pressed, watching closely to see his reaction. It should be a touchy subject to him, but he just nodded with a pleasant smile on. "Huh."

Hawks said, "You're Endeavor's failure, right?" Toya's jaw clenched and eyes turned angry. "Haha, woops! I can't keep my mouth shut, can I?" Hawks joked. "For someone who brags about it, you sure are touchy when someone else mentions it, aren't you?" the winged teen continued.

"You don't know when to shut your trap, do you?"

"Ah, so you're capable of repeating things I said just a few seconds ago. I guess your brain isn't as fried as your face!" and Hawks got up to leave, flying over the edge and to somewhere else on campus. Toya just sat there in shock. He'd never had anyone talk to him that way. Never had the balls to say some shit like that.

Hawks clearly didn't know any self-preservation. But then he started laughing, a delayed reaction. Man, having that guy in his class was gonna be fun as hell. Which one could be the bigger asshole?

Though it was a first in a long time for someone to not act just annoyed or frightened of him. Interesting. He didn't talk with Hawks the rest of the day, and when it was breaks between classes, Hawks just doodled all over the desk in pencil and then rubbed it off. He seemed twitchy and hard to keep still. He fidgeted a lot, usually with his feathers.

When the day was over, Hawks got his things together and then left without a word to anyone else. No goodbye, the first out the door. When Toya left to walk home, he went by the store and bought some box dye with his mom's stolen credit card, and then went home. She didn't notice and he slipped it back into her purse expertly while she was in the bathroom.

Rei was a stay at home mom, even though Shoto went to school. Endeavor didn't allow her to go get a job, so she was stuck at home all day until the kids got back. Her favorite was always Shoto. Toya was a failure, Natuso was a bit better and Fuyumi tried too hard to make everyone a family (excluding Toya, of course). Shoto was the sweet one. He just wasn't ruined by the family yet.

Toya did what he could to try and keep it that way. Shoto didn't know if he wanted to be a hero, and his brother couldn't blame him. It wasn't like Endeavor made it seem like he enjoyed the job. He came home just as angry as when he left. He made no sign that it was worth the training, time and effort to become a hero.

Honestly, Toya was sure he only worked so hard because he wanted to surpass All Might, just because he couldn't handle being second place. When he got to the bathroom attached to his own room, which was much cleaner than his bedroom, he got to dying his white hair pitch black. It left a mess in the shower, but it would come off if he put in the effort.

Once he was out after rinsing and conditioning, he dried it with the towel, and thought it actually looked pretty good. It sure made him look edgier. Even more like an emo punk. When he went downstairs, everyone but Shoto were surprised by his new look. Now he stood out at the family table even more! It was great!

"You look so cool, Toya-nii!" Shoto praised.

"Heh, you think so? I like it, too," Toya agreed. Rei looked disapproving, and Natsuo uninterested. Though this time, he didn't do something to make the others uncomfortable or angry. He genuinely wanted to dye his hair, so he did. It wasn't to be bitter and annoying, it was for him, which he didn't do too often.

He wasn't even sure if the piercings were because he wanted them or just wanted to piss of Endeavor even more. He was always meticulously groomed and dressed proper, even not in his hero outfit. So Toya did everything he could to deviate from that. At dinner, he didn't say anything of Hawks.

Honestly, he didn't want to risk hearing Endeavor put down Hawks or praise the Commission. He would definitely take the Commission's side. They fucked Hawks up. Whoever he used to be was gone. Even if Toya had no friends, he still heard from other classes, rumors about the manipulative teen.

He seemed so damn interesting.

-x-

"Ah, is your hair from the ash of your fire?" Hawks asked when he sat down in his seat. Toya could tell the way they talked to each other made the others uncomfortable. At least worried Toya would explode if Hawks pissed him off too bad.

"Actually, it's hair dye. And I bought it this time," Toya replied.

"Ah, you shoplift?" Hawks asked lightly. Everyone did their best to stay out of their bubble, not daring to look or seem like they were listening. Toya nodded. "I bet you're terrible at it. You're already so obviously a criminal in the making!" Hawks said brightly. Well, he wasn't wrong. Toya asked if he ever broke the law.

Hawks shrugged dramatically, and didn't answer. Toya would take that as a yes. He paid less attention to Hawks that day, not wanting to come across as too weird and invasive. The other seemed like a loner. He didn't approach anyone. He was a reactive guy, he only replied or did something if someone else did it first.

Unlike Toya, who enjoyed making people and situations uncomfortable. Seeing people sweat or bite their lips awkwardly was a win for him every time.

When class was over, Toya caught up with Hawks before he could flee the building. "Hey, birdie," Toya began.

"It's Hawks. Not birdie," Hawks said lightly, but there was a tint of annoyance in his voice that he was unable to hide. Toya smirked, and didn't plan on losing his new nickname. "Did you need something?"

"You seem like a mess. Wanna exchange numbers? As fellow fucked up kids from the hero world?" Hawks stopped walking and turned to him. Toya grew still a the yellow eyes just staring, like he was looking into Toya's soul. Then he laughed, and said he was sure Toya would be a bad influence. "You already have piercings, how much worse could I make you?"

Hawks used feather to pull a sticky note from his backpack and then wrote down his number with a pen another feather got. Man, what a quirk. He could fly and use feathers like damn telekinesis. It was pretty impressive. Toya really was jealous now. But he got his number, and texted his own.

"Heh. Makes since that '666' is in your phone number," Hawks joked, and saved his contact. "Well, have fun being a criminal in the making. I'm gonna go get high." Toya was startled by the last admission. Hawks got weed? Where the hell did he get it? Toya had never been high before. Hawks turned and stared at Toya with a smirk. "What, not coming along?"

Toya trotted after him. His family didn't care what he did after school, so going to Hawks' hide out, which was an abandoned old amusement park, they couldn't care less and probably wouldn't even notice he was gone until he wasn't around to fuck with them at dinner. Hawks tossed his backpack down and sat in one of the tea cups.

"So, where'd you get the weed?" Toya asked, lounging across from him.

"Who said anything about weed? I got my own drug," Hawks said, and plucked a feather. Toya quirked an eyebrow in question. "You get high if you inhale the smoke from one of my burning feathers." Toya barked out a laugh and didn't hesitate to try. "Since its not actually a drug, nobody can bust me," Hawks bragged. He had a lighter in his backpack, hidden at the bottom, but Toya lit the tip on fire for him.

The moment Hawks inhaled it, his pupils went wide and he was gone, holy shit. Toya took one and did the same. Fuck, it was strong. He coughed at the first inhale, surprised by the intensity. Hawks chuckled at his reaction, and Toya narrowed his eyes. "You ever smoked actual weed before?" Toya asked, no problem with the second inhale. "Fuck that's strong."

"Of course not, Japan doesn't like drugs. Don't feel like going to jail for getting high off some pot. This is the next best thing," Hawks explained, completely relaxed it seemed. He was like a limp noodle in the bench. Toya wondered how he'd found out about this odd use of his feathers. "On accident. Was in a simulation in a burning building and my wings caught on fire and the whole room was full of it. Even my handlers got high as kites," Hawks bragged.

Toya frowned. "Why were you in a burning building?" he wondered. Hawks simply said it was to be a better hero. It left a bad taste in Toya's mouth, but he didn't comment further. It wasn't his business, even if he was curious. "Lucky your wings grow back. An endless source of feather-pot."

"I know, it's great," Hawks agreed with a smile. "They'd be horrified if they knew I was using my quirk to get high. Wish they were around to see!" he laughed. Toya laughed, too. They spent over an hour inhaling feather dust. Hawks promised it would wear off once he started walking around again, but he wouldn't be especially bothered if his family found him high as a kite in his room.

Once the sun started to set, the two stopped their non-illegal activity. Toya's house was very far from there. "Want me to fly you there?" Hawks asked. Toya was excited to fly, and agreed. Hawks told him to give him his backpack. It was easier to fly that way, apparently. So he did, and Hawks put Toya's backpack on his chest, backwards before grabbing him by the legs, and flying him home upside down the whole time as Toya screamed.

He then dumped him on his roof and booked it. "See you tomorrow!"

"You fucker!" Toya raged. Once Hawks was completely out of sight, a realization came across Toya, washing over him. Did he... make a friend? He was dazed as he climbed down the side of the house. Dinner was being served, and he took his and went upstairs, still uncertain. He'd gotten high with someone. Did that make them friends? Hawks trusted him to not bust him. Though could he be? He wasn't using any illegal substances…

Once he decided he wanted to be Hawks friend - and have him be his - he smiled. A friend, huh? Though it didn't seem the winged teen would be a good influence. Heh.

-x-

"Are you good at piercings?" Hawks asked hesitantly. "I mean, if you fuck up I could get paralyzed," he added lightly.

"I won't fuck up, stop complaining and just stay still," Toya said in annoyance. "I've pieced myself in lots of places." They were in Hawks bedroom. He lived in a foster home for troubled teens. Out of all of them, he seemed the most normal though. It also seemed that nobody knew he got high off his own feathers. Well, both of them.

Hawks trusted Toya, which made his heart swell. They were doing something reckless, but whatever. Toya marked the place on his tongue and held it between the pincers with the needle and piercing. Hawks didn't move an inch, wasn't sweating and didn't look an ounce worried. He didn't flinch when the needle went through his tongue at all, just seemed to wait patiently.

Once the jewelry was there, Toya washed off the needle and pincers in a little cup of rubbing alcohol. Then Hawks froze and started breathing quickly, not moving. Toya started to freak. "Haha, just kidding! That didn't hurt at all." Toya shoved him for making him worry. "Was someone worried? I thought you were all confident."

"Shut it. I'd get in a ton of trouble if I paralyzed you," Toya grumbled. He handed Hawks the mirror and he looked at the small metal ball on his tongue. "I can't believe you wanted your first to be in your tongue." Hawks stuck it out, and asked if it looked cool. "Well, yeah. My first self-pierce with in my cartilage in my ear. I mean, I'm not afraid of needles. I have staples in my face for fucks sake," he said flippantly.

Hawks touched one. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Nah. I mean, smiling too wide makes it ache, but only a little bit. My smirks and sneers are painless," Toya replied. "You aren't gonna get in trouble for this?" he asked again. Hawks waved his hand dismissively.

"I'm the best behaved here. They'll think I got it from a real place," he said. "You should do my nose, too. What are the ones on your mouth called? Snake bites? Those look pretty cool." Toya smiled. He got along very well with Hawks. They bounced off of each others damaged parts pretty good. Each of them knew what it was like to be abused due to the hero world. Hawks was just more damaged behaviorally than Toya physically. They'd only been friends abut a month, going to the amusement park and getting high, walking around town, flying (not upside down again).

While Toya's issues were pretty obvious, due to his appearance and terrible attitude and behavior, Hawks' were easy to hide behind his false smiles. He was a good liar, but Toya didn't think he lied to him. At least not about important things. Toya wasn't a good influence. But he did try to help Hawks out when he could.

Such as when he was completely tense and still, that was him holding in some sort of thing he was conditioned not to do. The main thing was that he wasn't allowed to do his chirp thing that came along with his bird quirk. Toya always reminded him that there was nobody there to get mad at him for it.

The little bird chirps he made when something surprised him were kind of endearing. He didn't mind that Toya lightly mocked him. It was all in good fun. "I was thinking about doing my bottom lip. More face piercings are gonna be great for me."

"You could get the one that goes through the middle of your nose, like, in one side and out the other. That would be hard to ignore for sure," Hawks commented. "You could always just see what works to freak them out before you actually do it." Toya rose a brow. "Hang on." He went into the bathroom and came out with a small cup and a white bottle of liquid. His feathers moved around the room and got some scissors and a chopstick.

Toya had no idea what his plan was. "Watch this," Hawks said with a smirk, and used liquid latex to secure two bits of the chopstick on either side of his nose. It was a nasalling. "See, you can try it out before actually doing it." Toya looked in the mirror.

"That's sick. Where'd you learn to use that shit?" Toya asked in interest.

"Youtube," Hawks replied simply. "If I do work around the house, I usually get whatever I want. It's easy to get other people to do anything I want them to. The right words and mannerisms and I'm set," he explained, and put away his bottle of halloween supply. Toya frowned, and asked if Hawks had ever had a family. "I don't know. I came from somewhere. I don't remember where, though. Or my original name. Hawks was supposed to be my hero name, obviously."

Toya was curious. Maybe it was tactless to ask. "What else did they do there? At the Commission? I mean, I was physically and emotionally abused by a parent. You were from a government organization. Can't have been nice, right?" Hawks walled up, and Toya knew when to stop when the face smile was plastered on his friends' face. It was easy to tell when he went too far. "Nevermind, sorry I asked." His tone wasn't annoyed or impatient, even if the words sounded that way.

"I just don't like talking about that stuff," Hawks said, face relaxing now that Toya backed off. "Wanna watch some scary movies?" Toya nodded. Hawks had his own TV in his room, and a beanbag chair. He really did get whatever he wanted. The winged teen was on the bed and Toya was chilling in the beanbag chair. It was comfortable as fuck.

The movie was a slasher flick. Toya was getting tense at some moments, the lights off. It was dark out, as Toya was spending the night. He'd never had a sleepover with a friend before, so he was secretly ecstatic when he got his things together. His family didn't understand why anyone would want to be his friend. They hadn't met Hawks yet.

When the talented liar did meet them, no doubt he'd act as polite and formal as possible. Toya couldn't wait to see Endeavor's confused expression, his whole family. He knew Shoto would be happy to meet Toya's only friend. And since Hawks was so damn smart and good at time management, he was a great study buddy whenever Toya decided to put effort into school work.

When the suspenseful music started to come on, getting louder and louder as the main character approached a door, he out right screamed when one of Hawks' feathers shoved into his ear. "Ahahahaha!" Hawks laughed loudly.

"You asshole!" Toya shouted, and punched him. Hawks just laughed, but the suspense was ruined. "You ruined the ending!"

"For you," Hawks chuckled. "I think that ending was very satisfactory."

"You're a prick." Hawks stuck his newly pierced tongue out at him. "We should get high for the next one." Toya didn't usually stay mad for a long period of time. Well, at small instances. Hawks locked the bedroom door, and they picked a paranormal movie. Being high while watching it was an out of this world experience. Toya was positive the demon from the movie came into the room.

Hawks agreed, and then he drew a ouija board on a piece of lined paper. "If you're cursed, maybe the demon can wreak havoc on your dad," the blonde said. They were having no luck with the ouija paper, and both were too high to pull off pretending to freak out the other. Man, Hawks' feathers were the best. If he sold those he'd make a fortune.

"You could always make him think he's haunted," Toya mused, leaning against the plus chair. "Use your feathers to keep turning the lights on and off again. Haha, or the faucet and shower head," he said, amused with his own thoughts. When there was knock on the door, Hawks ordered to him to act like he was asleep.

Instantly, somehow Hawks was able to banish his behavior acting like he was high. "What's up?"

"Lights out. You're both making a lot of noise." Hawks agreed, and closed the door. Toya opened his eyes, and looked at his friend in interest. "I'm good at hiding it for a bit. I'm still high as fuck." He flopped onto the bed and passed out. There was no evidence left behind of their activity as the window was open, so the scent wafted out.

Toya was awake a bit longer than Hawks was. He was strangely still and slept completely silently. It was kind of unnerving. It looked like he was dead. Toya felt so sorry for him. He'd been all alone. At least Toya had little Shoto to look after and have some sort of purpose. He fell asleep to the uncomfortable thoughts.

But he wouldn't voice them. Hawks despised pity. Just like Toya did. They were alike in so many ways, unfortunately.

-x-

Maybe it was stupid - no, it was stupid - for Toya to pierce his own tongue, but he didn't have the critical thinking skills when it came to doing things to himself. So he was standing in frot of his bathroom mirror, bent forward as he did what he had to Hawks to himself. It didn't hurt much after all. And soon he had a metal ball on his tongue to match his friend's. Damn he was getting good at this! And not once had any of them gotten infected.

When he showed it off, he was genuinely surprised with the outrage from his mother. "You did that yourself?! Do you know what could have happened?!" she shouted from the kitchen. All the kids in the room went silent in shock.

"What's the big deal? Nothing did happen, what does it matter?" Toya said defensively. This wasn't the kind of anger he was used to or expected. Shoto looked concerned from the corner, worrying his shirt in his fingers.

"Why do you do this to us?! I get that you hate your father, but why us?!" she shouted. Never had Rei asked him that.

"Because you're here. You're collateral damage, I guess," Toya said bluntly, painfully honestly. "Besides, why do you care now? It's a little late to step up to the plate as a concerned mother, isn't it?" he asked, voice turning bitter. Rei winced, and looked away, losing her anger. Toya wished she'd still be angry. But she knew herself that she was never there for Toya.

"All you care about is little Shoto. I mean, its the same for me, but you had four kids? Then why only love one?" He got a smack across the face, the sound echoing in the room painfully loudly. Toya didn't show his shock. "You'll have to hit a little harder if you want that part of my face to feel anything." And he turned and left.

He headed up to his room, and that painful pressure was in his eyes. When he wanted to cry but couldn't. It wasn't possible with his burnt tear ducts. At least he never showed that weakness. He texted Hawks the moment he locked the door.

My mom smacked me.

Yikes.

I said some dick stuff, but I'm still surprised. In front of Shoto, too.

Wow. Well, you're good at pressing buttons. It was inevitable that you'd press too hard. Toya made an annoyed tick with his pierced tongue. But Hawks wasn't wrong. There was a knock on the door when he was making his response. He didn't answer the door, but locked it. Only until Shoto's small voice asked if he was okay.

Toya sighed, and opened the door, letting the boy in. "Are you okay?" he asked again, eyes showing concern, with a small but sincere frown on.

"I'm okay, buddy. I didn't feel it, it was on my burnt part," He said, pushing Shoto's hair back from his forehead.

"I can't believe mommy hit you…" Shoto mumbled, sounding near tears. Toya sighed, and brought Shoto to his bed. He didn't like the futon mats, so he had his own mattress after he was annoying enough to pester for it. He sat him down and crouched in front of him. He needed the boy to internalize what he was about to say.

He firmly began, "Shoto, I don't want you to act like me, okay? I don't want you to antagonize mommy and Endeavor. Or do shady things. I don't want you to misbehave, like me. You have a bright future ahead of you. I don't want my stuff to ruin it," he explained. His eyes were soft. Shoto asked why he did the things he did. "I don't know. I guess I just never got the help I needed. And I never asked for it, so maybe it's partly my fault," he muttered. But he was the child, his parents should help him with that.

After his fire, the incident that gave him 99% of the burns he had, he needed help. Not just treating his burns. His own quirk nearly killed him in an agonizing way. It left him permanently deformed. He never got even a little bit of counseling. By now, he was too averse to it to accept even if it was offered.

"But I like you. You're not all bad," Shoto said quietly.

"Thanks, buddy. That means a lot. I just wanted you to know that I'm not a good role model. Take after Natsuo or Fuyumi. They're both smart and hard working."

"But they don't like me."

"Well, they don't like me either." Though Shoto never did anything to cause them to dislike him. Toya did, almost daily. It was so normal for him now that he wasn't sure how to stop. "Can I have a piercing, too?"

"Absolutely not. If you want one, you should get it done by someone professional. Even if I'm good at it myself, it doesn't mean it's the best way." He was glad he wasn't asked why he did the things he did if he knew they were wrong. That they weren't good to emulate or admire. He was severely fucked up, but he didn't want that to happen to Shoto, too.

Toya asked if Shoto wanted to watch some cartoons before dinner. "Yeah!" They got out Toya's laptop, which was covered in random stickers so it looked pretty trashy, and watched some light hearted cartoons. He wanted Shoto to have some sort of normal life, which was why he stole him video games and watched movies. It was the least he could do if he wasn't gonna be the role model he needed.

When dinner was ready, Toya didn't go for it. "Aren't you coming, too?"

"Nah, I'm not hungry yet. I'll get something later, don't worry," the oldest brother replied. Shoto nodded, and left. Toya locked his door and asked for Hawks to come get him. His friend didn't hesitate, and half an hour later, he was perched on his windowsill. He didn't say anything, didn't ask about it.

Toya climbed out onto the roof, and Hawks flew them away, back to his house. On the way, Toya was silent, and Hawks' arms were wrapped tightly around his chest. The burnt teen wasn't afraid of Hawks dropping him. He had complete trust. When they made it to his house, pizza had been ordered for the night, and Hawks' guardian was fine with Toya staying over.

He was sure that she thought Hawks was a good role model for him. How sorely disappointed she should be. When they were eating pizza, it was odd with his new piercing. "Feels weird, huh?" Hawks finally said. Toya nodded. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Hawks nodded and didn't press. They ate the pizza while Hawks put on music with his feathers. It was just the radio, playing generic music. He was trying to make the situation less awkward. Finally, Toya couldn't hold it in. "Do you think I'm a shit brother?"

"Is that a trick question?" Hawks asked slowly. Toya looked confused. "Dude, you purposely piss of your siblings. You clearly love Shoto in your own way, but you don't like the other two. I think that makes you a not very good brother to them." Well, it wasn't like Toya wanted him to bullshit him. He didn't want Hawks to lie to him, too.

"Yeah… I guess. I used to be a good one. Then the burn happened. I started to hate Fuyumi and Natsuo then. I saw them. When they looked at my new body, and they looked disgusted. Not even horrified in the concerned way. That look, with the upturned lip, y'know. I was a freak. After that, Endeavor gave up on me for sure. He didn't even come to see me in the hospital. And Rei was busy with Shoto. But I never hated him. He was three. Hadn't even developed the perfect quirk yet," he explained, looking at his feet with a blank look on. Hawks didn't interrupt.

"I thought things would get better then. After I was healed enough to go back home. But things had changed. Natsuo seemed to be unable to look at me anymore. Fuyumi kept pressing me about getting reconstructive surgery. That I could never live a normal life this way. I mean, she wasn't wrong, but it still hurt.

"I felt like an outcast. I was useless to my father. Rei gave up quickly once I was able to take care of the burns myself. Nobody would play with me or hang out, either too grossed out or thinking I was so damaged I couldn't do anything anymore. I was some invalid or cripple. Yeah, I couldn't walk for awhile. But still! I could still do things."

His shoulders were hunched, and he started to tremble. He didn't want to look up and see Hawks pitying him. But when he did glance up, Hawks was looking at his hands in a sad way. It was good he wasn't looking at Toya during his raw confession. So he continued, feeling unmocked and not looked down on.

"I didn't feel like part of the family anymore. So I cut them off, too. And I try to get back at them for the pain they caused me. Recovery was hard enough without their shitty fucking attitudes," Toya hissed. Hawks got off his bed, and sat next to him. He wrapped a wing around Toya's shoulders. And to his surprise, the burnt one didn't push him away. He wasn't being touchy feely, he wasn't hugging him. The light touch of his wings were just enough, not too much.

"I don't know what that feels like. I can sympathize with you, but I can't empathize. I've never had anyone who could betray me, or a family. And all of my injuries and surgeries aren't so obvious-"

"Surgeries?" Toya asked, voice hard. Hawks looked away. "You can tell me. Maybe it'll help me understand you better, too." Hawks smiled lightly, and asked if he wanted to understand him. "You're the only friend I've ever had after my burns. Even before then, I didn't have many friends. I haven't seen a single look of disgust or bother from you. Your dumbass even mocks me, like it's no big deal."

Hawks was quiet for a moment before he started listing things that had been done to him. Toya stayed quiet, not showing his emotions on his face. "I remember I used to have tail feathers. They surgically removed them when they looked bad. I had ADHD and instead of meds, they did brain surgery. My teeth grew in weird- I had a big gap, so instead of braces, they took out all my teeth and gave me a bunch of perfect fake ones to make my smile the best it could be.

"I was sterilized when I was ten, so I can't pass on kids at all. The majority of my pain receptors were destroyed so I can't feel pain anymore. It would slow me down, if I got injured and was in pain. Part of my stomach was taken out so I didn't over eat. They didn't want me fat, I was supposed to look pretty.

"Most of my personality has been crafted beforehand and I was conditioned to be that way. I can't help the lying most times. I don't do it to be an asshole, I just don't know how to act normal. That's all I really remember. I know It's not that bad, others have it worse." He looked up and saw how upset Toya was.

He was more than angry, he was devastated for Hawks. When he hugged Hawks, the blonde stiffened. Toya assumed he'd rarely - if ever - been hugged or shown any physical care. Hawks didn't hug him back, and that was fine. "I didn't mean to bitch and moan or anything. I wasn't trying to one-up you-"

"I know, dumbass. Besides, I was the one to ask you wasn't I?" Toya said, his voice soft in the way it only was for Shoto before now. "I'm glad the Commission was fucking shut down. I'm sorry that all happened to you. Just because you can't see the damage on you or the way you act doesn't mean it's not valid or any bullshit like that."

Hawks looked into both of his eyes, as if searching as hard as he could for any lies. "Hawks, you're the best friend I could have ever asked for. Even if you can be an asshole," Toya said with a smile that was a bit painful, but sincere. Hawks' lips wobbled. "I won't look down on you if you cry."

"I can't anymore. My tear ducts were sealed a long time ago."

"Welcome to the club," Toya snorted. "The world is fucked up, isn't it? The people in it, too. Rotten to the core," he sighed, looking up at Hawks' ceiling. There were some glow in the dark stars up there from the kid who'd had that room the first time. They were so faded you could barely see them.

Hawks nodded. "I wanted to be a hero. Ironically, I looked up most to Endeavor," Hawks said with dry humor. "I'm glad I know he's fucked up. Then, I won't look up to people I know nothing about."

"Do you still want to be a hero?" Toya wondered. But Hawks shook his head. "What do you want to do with your life?" He had no outline himself, he was just trying to enjoy it day by day. Not thinking of his future made everything feel more insignifiant, which was comfortable for him. Toya had no dreams other than to ruin Endeavor's name some day.

The other shrugged. "I don't really think about it. I'm not especially good at any one thing that I should take advantage of," he mused. "I'm just... here."

"I feel that. Like nothing matters other than right now, and you can worry about that shit some day in the future. And you just keep pushing the deadline out for when you want to figure your life out. Luckily, in high school we don't gotta make our own decisions much," Toya snickered. "I guess in some ways, being powerless is comfortable."

Hawks was smiling and nodded, agreeing with everything. "I'm glad we met," he said. Toya grinned and agreed. He had left his phone at home, so nobody could contact him. They could call the fucking police if they wanted. But he knew they wouldn't. He left because his mother hit him, after all.

He ended up spending the night, and to go to school, they went and snuck in through his window, got his things, and then flew back to campus. Successfully avoiding the mess that awaited Toya at home. Though he wouldn't be surprised if nobody cared he was gone, just up and disappeared.

Well, whatever. He'd just crash at Hawks' place again. His guardian didn't think anything bad of Toya, and welcomed him in the morning with all the other damaged children. They were scared of him, but they were also all young. And he didn't try to look kid-friendly. It didn't bother him.

-x-

"Y'know, if you're gonna keep cutting yourself, you might as well do it in style," Hawks said out of nowhere during lunch. Toya raised a brow at him but said nothing. "We've already done piercings. Let's do tattoos!" Toya's eyes lit up in mischief. He was definitely into that. Doing reckless, unsafe things satisfied both of them. And neither of them discouraged the other from such things. So they were definitely going to do that.

They were gonna go buy supplies for needle inking, something Hawks had seen on Youtube. The guy was always watching Youtube, looking for interesting things. From tattooing to the history of the bones of dinosaurs, he just soaked up random things like a sponge. It was funny. Every morning he'd have something new he found on Youtube.

Though since Toya was crashing at Hawks' place lately to avoid home problems, he hadn't been able to spring the interesting topics on him. At least, interesting to Hawks. Toya coudnt bring himself to tell him some of the shit he was going on about was broing as fuck for him. But Hawks was so excited, so there was no way Toya could burst his bubble as his best friend.

When they were leaving campus, Toya was surprised to see Rei there, arms crossed at the gate, staring Toya down. "Is this Hawks?"

"Nice to meet you, Todoroki-san," Hawks said pleasantly.

"What do you want?" Toya asked in a snappy, uninvested tone. Rei frowned, and said she wanted to have him come home. "Why?"

"You need supervision. Clearly you aren't getting it at Hawks' home." Toya's eye twitched in annoyance.

"I'm happier at Hawks' house. And I'm sure all of you are happy I'm gone just as much. So why does it matter? What's the point of coming here like a fucking weird soccer mom? Oh, you disapprove of my only friendship?" he mocked. Rei grew angrier, but was never good at standing up to anyone, even her own kids.

Hawks, bless him, said not a thing and made not a look.

"I want you to come back," Rei settled with. "You are hard to be around, and you enjoy that fact, but it's still your home and I want you to come back." Toya just didn't see why. It didn't make sense for her to return. Besides, there was no evidence that bad things were going on at Hawks. The "worst" thing they got up to was just getting high, and that left no lasting trace of anything.

So he didn't plan on going home. "If you don't come home, I will report you as a missing person. And you won't get to see Hawks anymore." She froze when she saw the look come across Toya's face when she threatened his friendship.

"If you try and keep us apart I will burn that fucking house to the ground. Do you understand me?" he asked in a cold voice. Hawks stayed silent and didn't react. Rei looked frightened of him, eyes wide and teeth clenched. Because Toya was honest. If she tried to get him away from his only loved one besides Shoto, he would ruin them.

"Do you understand me?!" he shouted, startling her. Hawks finally stepped in.

"Toya, calm down, man," he said in a soothing voice, stepping in front of him so he was blocking his mother's appearance, being a wall separating them. "Threatening isn't gonna do much good. We're both still minors, we have to do what our guardians want on at least some level, right?" He was destressing the situation. He had his hand on Toya's shoulder, and the scarred teen took a deep breath and nodded. His face relaxed and posture lost the tension. But Rei was still scared.

"I reacted badly. I won't burn the house down. At least not with any of you in it," he added. He ran his hands through his black hair with a sigh, and then carefully ran them down his face, careful to not pull on the staples. Rei was still very disturbed. To be honest, Toya was shocked as well.

Because he knew he was being honest. Besides, its not like that house held any fond memories for any of them. The kids were neglected or beaten there. And it wasn't like Rei and Endeavor were a happy marriage. Rei was bought, she didn't fall in love with Endeavor. So he saw no issue with burning it down, really. It would be fine, as long as they weren't in there.

He wasn't fucked enough in the head to commit murder. "So. Am I forced to go back to the house?" It wasn't home, and Toya would not address it as such. Hawks backed away again, the situation deescalated for now. Rei took a deep breath, swallowed and then nodded. He walked forward towards the car.

Hawks discretely gave him a feather. If he snapped it, Hawks would know something was wrong and go and help in some way. Toya got in the back seat, and Hawks waved goodbye with an encouraging look on. He was too nice. At least it seemed to Rei like Hawks was a good influence, able to calm him down like that.

"You're an awful driver," he complained when she was going so slow and hitting every traffic light. "Though you don't exactly get out much on that fucker's leash," he said, staring out the window.

"Toya. You frightened me," Rei admitted. The teen looked at her in the rear view mirror. "Did you mean it? That you'd burn the house down?"

"I meant it that nobody would be inside. It's not like it holds any good memories. Endeavor beat us there, both of you neglected us. I'm not gonna kill anyone, don't be stupid," he said in irritation.

Rei sighed. "I can't say I hold any positive attachment to the house. But you can't just burn it down. That's a crime punishable by jail time. Your father-"

"Not my father. And you're not my mother, but continue."

"Would be very angry with you if you did that. The house has been in his family for generations."

"Looks like it'll end with ours. None of us would want to live in that house unless we had to. Burning it down doesn't sound like that bad of an idea." Now he was just being a little shit. She glared at him and they pulled into the property. "Shoto likes his bedroom. I won't burn it down for his sake," he said as he slammed the car door shut, stomping inside.

When he entered, Shoto was doing a puzzle on the floor of the living room. "Toya-nii! You're back!" he cheered and went running to his big brother.

"Hey, buddy. Sorry I've been gone, I'm having a great time with my friend. I'm sure you'd love him," Toya said brightly. He did miss seeing Shoto, but at the same time wondered if he'd be better off without him anyways. "How's school been?"

Shoto frowned, his face falling. "I can't go this week." Toya asked why. "Cause the bruises… Mommy said they look bad." Toya felt ice and fire inside. Anger, fury. That Rei let this happen. She was a spineless, selfish coward. That was enough. Toya was done trying to fuck them over with attitued and petty actions. He was causing them misery in at least some way, but it wasn't helping any of them.

"Well, why don't we take care of them, then? Have you been using the bruise cream?" Toya asked, going up to his room. Shoto nodded, and Toya offered to help him redo it. He took his phone with him, and when they got to Shoto's room, he took photos of the bruises. "Just so we can see how it is now and how it could heal."

He did indeed help with Shoto's bruises. He stayed in his room the rest of the day, playing with the boy on what might be his last night in that house. Not because Toya was going to burn it down. He was going to shatter that family. Hawks approved of it over text. Toya sent him photos as a back up.

The winged teen was disgusted by what he saw, the little boy covered in bruises. One was on his arm in the form of a hand that had grabbed him. It was clearly not from "playing too hard". At night, when Rei and Endeavor were asleep, he crept inside and stole her phone. He knew the pass code and let himself in.

He entered her Google Photos and sent all of the images of her own bruises from being beaten by her husband to his phone. Yeah, shit was about to go down. He returned the phone back, and went to his room again. He didn't want to be a shitty hero in this twisted world, but he still had the power to keep Shoto innocent.

He went outside at about midnight and called the number for the child protective services he'd gotten online. "I'd like to report an abusive father and spouse." He gave the address. Not too much later, a few cars arrived. His parents woke to the sounds of buzzing from outside. To let the gate open.

Toya sat in the kitchen at the table with a mug of tea in his hands. Hawks flew over to be moral support after his feather was broken. Toya couldn't deal with all of this on his own. So Hawks walked inside and to the table, sitting down while hell broke loose as Endeavor was taken into custody.

It should have satisfied Toya. But it just made him feel sad. A surprising feeling. Not sad that Endeavor was gonna be hounded by bad press, but sad that it had to come to this. The other three siblings came out, all in sleep clothes, from the angry voices downstairs. Hawks put his hand over Toya's.

"You're helping your brother in the best way you can," he said firmly, but so kindly. Like he was talking to a frail child. But Toya wasn't offended, and just nodded. The night was a mess, and all of the family were taken for interviews. Separately. Toya had no idea what the others would say. They would be mad at Toya and no doubt try to discredit him.

He assumed he and Shoto had the longest interviews. Given Toya was the one to call and little Shoto was the one sporting bruises everywhere. At least he had good evidence. The teen had no idea what Endeavor would say and wished he could listen in on that one. For Toya's, one of the first things he was asked was where he got the burns.

"My own quirk. My body can't handle the heat. I was in the park one day and then I erupted into flames and came out severely burnt." Then he smiled. "Not that either of them especially cared. They never got me any psychiatric help and it wasn't long after that I started cutting. Then after that they had my last name legally changed from Todoroki to Himura. Can't have a fuck up like me be seen with the family!"

The interviewer didn't look put off by Toya's strange behavior. He just looked sad for him, and kept the questions coming. Most were not about himself, but his relationships and past with his parents. He explained the brutal training and then how he was just dropped once it was clear he wouldn't be a good hero.

"Little Shoto has the quirk Endeavor wants, so he 'trains' him, which just includes beatings. Endeavor knows it will look bad so he sometimes keeps Shoto from going to school if he looks too bad. Nah, it's Rei as well. She lets everything happen. The whole beaten spouse thing is stupid if you can't even protect or take care of your own fuckin' kids."

He was getting stressed, and started to play with the feather in his pocket, not planning on breaking it. Hawks gave it to him to fidget with, since he knew from experience how easy to it was to just twirl the feather around with antsy fingers.

"What is your relationship to th rest of your family? Besides your parents?"

"I hate the other two besides Shoto. I try to do my best to give him care and attention. Play games, watch movies. Fuyumi and Natsuo can go fuck off," Toya answered honestly. When asked if there was a reason, Toya only said it had to do with their reactions to his burns. The man looked saddened again, but Toya didn't get annoyed or angry. It was pretty pitiful. He knew that. Everyone knew that.

The interviewer brought him to a place to stay for now. He met up with the other three kids, and Fuyumi and Natsuo's reaction was to be expected. They glared at him, Natsuo with hatred burning in his eyes. Shoto was sniffling, asking about mommy. "Toya reported mom and dad," Natsuo said bluntly.

"But why?" Shoto asked in confusion and hurt, looking to Toya with a betrayed and shocked way.

"We've all been abused. Shoto literally can't go to school because of bruises both of them hide!" Toya shouted angrily at his brother and sister. Shoto sniffled, but didn't look any happier or more forgiving. Natsuo tugged him along, and Toya followed behind them, twisting his tongue around the piercing nervously.

When they entered the room, there were two bunk beds. Toya took the top of one of them, and turned on his side, refusing to look at his angry siblings. Would Shoto hate him, too? He hoped not. He really hoped not, he was the only one who liked Toya even a little. He had trouble sleeping, and was up texting Hawks the rest of the night.

He didn't hesitate to lay it all out there. Hawks also stayed up all night with him. Even if they did some fucked up stuff, like pericing themselves and getting high, sometimes shoplifting small items just to see how they wouldn't get caught, planning on needle tattoos, Hawk was there as emotional support when needed and he did a good fucking job of it.

-x-

"You broke the family, Toya-nii," Shoto said as they were eating. "I thought you were good but I was wrong," he added with a heavy pout. To be honest, none of Endeavor's abuse hurt like that did. Hearing the person he did this for hate him. Toya knew it was wrong to hate him for that, he was only six and didn't understand enough, but it still hurt.

He swallowed deeply, stopping eating. Fuyumi looked uncomfortable and Natsuo was smirking. Little shit. Toya got up with his cereal bowl, and walked past Natsuo, dumping the remaining milk and cereal flakes over his head.

He tossed the plastic bowl into the sink and left wordlessly as Natsuo raged. Toya didn't glance back to see Shoto's reaction. He texted Hawks, but he didn't answer. Probably asleep. So Toya took out his feather and snapped it in half. Maybe it was mean to do that to wake him up, but he needed to escape. His whole family hated him, now. They all already had besides Shoto, but even that was down the drain. It was the truth, Toya destroyed the facade that it was a family. Maybe once they had been, but that was no more. At least, in the eldest's eye.

Hawks arrived, looking sleepy. "Sorry, man," Toya said in a guilty voice. "I need outta here." Hawks nodded, not upset, and flew Toya away before anyone could go out after him. They could contact him from his phone if they wanted, and he'd say he was out with his friend, which was the truth and nothing illegal.

When they got to Hawks house through the window he usually left from, he was still in pajamas and flopped into bed to sleep. Toya felt bad for keeping him up all night. While Hawks slept, all his feathers fell off and around him. He'd said it happened when he was super exhausted, but that it didn't hurt and wasn't permanent.

Toya watched him sleep before he went on his phone to just Google random shit. Maybe find something interesting to show Hawks when he woke up. It wasn't a school night, thankfully. He ended up falling asleep on the beanbag chair, and woke to his phone ringing a few minutes later. He hurriedly picked it up, glad it didn't wake Hawks, and went into his bathroom, closing the door softly behind him.

It was the social worker from the day before. "Toya, where are you?" Took them long enough to figure out he was gone. Meaning his siblings said nothing of it. Well, they didn't care about him, so what did it matter? He didn't expect them to. He didn't care about Fuyumi and Natsuo anyways. And he was already starting to resent Shoto. Fuck. He didn't want that.

"With my friend. At his house. His guardian is here, so it's fine," Toya explained honestly. The man asked for him to come back for more questions. "I gave you everything I know, I have nothing left to say," the teen replied bluntly. "Yesterday was stressful, just let me hang out with my friend."

"We need to talk about your future, Toya."

"You mean where I'll live now?" He had no idea who the hell would ever take him in. Maybe he'd be in a foster home similar to Hawks'. For troubled teens. And he was definitely "troubled". But the man said Toya would be going to a hospital. "My burns are already healed enough, though. I take care of them just fine. Don't know what the fuck more anyone could do for them." He was annoyed.

"Not for your physical health." Oh. His mental health. He grew angry. And hurt. They thought he was crazy.

"I'm not crazy," he growled.

"I didn't say you are," the social worker backtracked, though his voice wasn't frantic or worried. "But you do need counseling and activities to help. Even without the burns or child abuse, you would still be admitted for cutting, Toya. Nobody is saying you are crazy, I promise. You just need to be looked after for something you were tragically refused. You should have had counseling long ago, but it's better late than never."

Toya said he'd think about it, and hung up. And he was being honest, he was going to think about it. Sighing, he looked at his face in the mirror. He took his shirt off to look at his body. The damage. Could anything fix how they made him feel? There was a knock on the door. Toya opened it, and saw Hawks, his wings back attached to his back like usual.

He opened his mouth to say something before he looked Toya up and down with wide eyes. Toya hunched over and put his shirt on. Hawks realized that it seemed like he looked surprised or disgusted. "It's not like that… I'm surprised… about how you're muscular even without trying."

"Pft, you're jealous?" Toya snorted, knowing Hawks wasn't lying. He pouted and crossed his arms, saying he always had to work hard to keep his muscles. Then he lifted the hem of his shirt.

"I got flabby," he complained. Toya disputed this. He had a completely flat stomach. Hawks pinched his stomach. The black haired teen laughed again, and the winged teen looked away and went to his bed, sitting cross legged. "Anyways, who was that?" he asked. His face was a bit pink, and Toya felt bad for making fun of him, but didn't apologize, just moved on.

He answered, "The social worker guy. He wants to send me to a hospital. Cause I'm fucked in the head." He saw Hawks deflate and look angry at the same time. Toya knew. "You've been to one before?" he asked slowly, not expecting the Commission to do anything to help with his mental health. It was surprising. But it was true when his friend nodded.

Toya paused. "How… how was it?" he questioned.

Hawks shrugged heavily. "Boring. But it was different for me. I was conditioned there some more. It was after my pain receptors were eliminated. I had started to test it, cutting myself with my wings in various places." Toya hated hearing about his fucked up past, but was never a dick enough to ask him not to talk about it.

"They just convinced me hurting myself was a bad choice. More like threatened me if I ever did it again. But I seriously doubt you'd be treated the same. It might be good for you, who knows? I'll miss you, though," he added quietly.

Toya sighed, rubbing his hands through his hair roughly. "I don't want to," he nearly whined.

"I understand why not, and I'm not gonna try to convince you either way," his friend said honestly. "It's your choice, you make it." His voice was so light and unconcerned, which Toya was grateful for. That he wasn't making it a big deal or trying to influence him. It was Toya's life, even if Hawks was a very important part of it.

"Thanks for being my friend," the burnt one said, kind of awkwardly with his face flushed. Hawks grinned and nodded, conveying that he was glad, too.

"And honestly, I was checking you out in the bathroom," Hawks said with a smirk, trying to tease and make Toya uncomfortable. It worked as his face flamed.

"At least I haven't gotten flabby." Hawks pouted, and Toya laughed. It was clear he was joking. "It's not fair you got to see me but I can't see you," he mocked, playing along, both trying to out do the other in making them uncomfortable. Hawks narrowed his eyes in challenge, and took off his shirt.

Toya chuckled. "You have a birth mark that is shaped like Japan? That another surgery?"

"Actually, no," Hawks replied. Toya wouldn't lie, Hawks looked pretty attractive. He wouldn't say that and make it too awkward, but he was honestly surprised that girls didn't go after him even if he was a liar. He put his shirt on fairly quickly, clearly uncomfortable with it. Like Toya was. About the burns that reached even his chest and stomach.

"Seriously, you're not flabby, I promise," Toya said firmly, not wanting his friend to be insecure abut something he didn't need to be.

"And your burns aren't hideous or off putting," Hawks said with a genuine smile. Toya's smile slipped from his face to show one of sadness. He wished more people thought that way. He wished his own family felt that way, too. That they hadn't fucked him up even more with their reactions when he was in a very dark and vulnerable period of his life.

Hawks pulled out his feathers and a lighter. "I think this is a good time to get high."

"Definitely." They both inhaled the burning feathers, and laughed in a lazy way about the whole situation. Laughed about how miserable his parents were gonna be. It wasn't that funny, but when both of them were high, it was hysterical. "Heyyy, you're sooo pretty. Your wings are soooo pretty," Toya said, mostly to himself, but Hawks could hear it.

"Your buuurns are so badasssss. Hehe." They'd smoked three feathers by now so they were way out there. "Staples like piercings aaaall over." Toya scooched closer.

"Your false teeth are so white and shiny. Tongue even prettiiier," Toya said, right in Hawks' face. "I wanna feel it." Hawks smiled and moved forward, pressing his lips to Toya's. The taller one tangled his hands in Hawks' hair and wing and opened his mouth, the other ding the same. The tongue piercings clinked together while they both invaded each other's mouths.

Toya pulled Hawks' shirt off, easy to do even with his wings. They were just clamped under them, and if you unbuttoned them, it was easy to just lift it over his head. Toya didn't wait to strip off his own shirt, too. Hawks ran his hands up and down the damaged chest skin, tugging slightly on the staples. Toya gasped and then moved his lips down Hawks' jaw and neck, moving to his shoulder where he sucked several hickeys while Hawks groped his ass, which Toya was not in the least bothered about.

He moved further down his best friend's chest, leaving red and purple spots everywhere, wanting to see his smooth skin covered in bites and hickeys, marking him as his own. When he was satisfied with his work, and moved back to Hawks' lips. Hawks was so high he managed to reach memories he couldn't while normal, and slurred, "My name…. is Keigo," Hawks said against his lips.

They probably wouldn't remember it when their minds were clearer.

Since the high didn't last that long if not continuously inhaling, it wasn't long before their minds cleared and both found out shockingly that they were making out, shirtless, with red marks all over Hawks' chest. Both had wide eyes, lips pressed tightly before Toya surged back forward and kissed him again.

Hawks didn't protest and tangled his own hands into Toya's hair, fighting for dominance in the kiss. It was a rough kiss, neither one aiming to be the loser. When they finally pulled away, Hawks leaned forward and wrapped his arms and wings around Toya. It felt so nice and safe. Toya embraced him back.

"Keigo," Toya sighed, kissing his shoulder. Hawks froze. "You said that's your name," he whispered.

"...Really?"

"That's what you told me." When Toya pulled away, he saw Hawks eyes were red, but he was unable to cry thanks to his abusers. "Do you want me to call you that?" the taller asked softly. Hawks shook his head, and Toya just nodded. He didn't want to make him uncomfortable or upset.

Toya gently stroked Hawks' gorgeous wings. "So pretty," he said. When Hawks blushed a bit, Toya smiled. He brushed the hair out of his friend's face with his thumb. He'd never been so gentle with someone, physically or emotionally. "What now? Was that an isolated event or are we boyfriends now?" he asked. His voice and face didn't convey an ounce of pressure. The winged teen rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious. And it clearly was when Hawks leaned forward again, and kissed along the separation line from the burns on his neck to his clear upper chest.

His kisses were gentle and soft, barely there. Toya could feel them slightly, but not enough for his liking. But the phantom feeling was there. He knew it was in his head, but accepted it. "They really don't bother you."

"Would I be kissing them if they did?" Hawks smirked. Toya was the one to roll his eyes, but it was enough to make his insecurity go away. Hawks so no issue with the burns, which felt so relieving. Though he didn't expect him to have a problem with them in the first place. Sure, he'd mocked him about them when they met, but that was before they were fast friends. "Is you being gay gonna make your family even angrier?"

"I don't think I could make them angrier than they are now, to be honest," Toya replied. He sighed as Hawks sucked hickeys on his exposed skin. It felt nice. He'd gladly show off hickeys to anyone around him. Showed he was already taken. And he didn't expect Hawks to let him go now. Not that Toya wanted him to.

He said, "Take care of yourself, okay?" while touching Toya's cheek. The taller teen nodded, even if that meant stepping out of his comfort zone.

"Promise," Toya agreed.

-x-

"Go away, Toya," Shoto grumbled when Toya approached him to say goodbye. He was accepting going to the hospital, only for Hawks. To keep his promise. His little brother no longer addressed him as a sibling. Fuyumi was inside, and Natsuo was giving a mean smile. None of them had gotten to see their "parents" yet. Toya couldn't care less if he never saw them.

He felt his care slipping away. None of them cared about him anymore. Didn't they realize Toya reported them to get help? Did Fuyumi and Natsuo not care about the bruises on Shoto? Or when Toya was beaten, too? Those fuckers never got Endeavor's attention, they should be damn grateful. Toya suffered alone, and tried to be there for Shoto. But now he didn't want him. It had been three days since they were seized from the abusers, yet the three hated him the same.

Toya tried to explain to him that he only wanted to help. But Shoto only saw it as Toya taking mommy away. And he was tired of the rejection when he was, for once in his life, trying to do a truly good thing. To get them safely away from the abuse. And how was he rewarded? His siblings hating his guts even more.

Fuck it. "Fine," Toya said in a cold, hard voice. Shoto looked surprised to hear it for once. And the older brother's face was no longer understanding or patient, if those could even really show on his expression. He looked bitter at Shoto, maybe disgusted. His own blue and gray eyes looked truly shocked to have that look at him. "Have fun while I'm in a damn psych ward," he spat venomously, and turned and walked away, his backpack on.

Fuck them. Fuck them all. He knew he was an asshole to Natsuo and Fuyumi for their response to his burns. But he'd been nice to Shoto. But he was one of them now. Fuck them all. Toya wasn't doing this for them, but for Hawks. Still the only person that really cared about him. Shoto didn't count anymore.

It wasn't like Toya had to protect him from Endeavor anymore anyways. His role was over, Shoto was done with him, tired of it. Fucking little brat. Toya got into the car and slammed the door shut, not sparing a second look to his stupid kid brother. He didn't know if he cried, but Toya honestly couldn't care less right now.

It felt kind of nice, but also bad. Now he only had one person he needed to make an effort for. Though Hawks already cared for him when he wasn't pretending to be fine. Now, he didn't want to go to the hospital. What was the point? He had nobody to impress. But then he reminded himself that Hawks wanted him to take care of himself. So he was fucking doing that.

Even if he hated it.

When he got to the hospital, he saw it was just like any other one on the inside. White tile, ugly gray walls and just a cold atmosphere, even if it was stupid stuffy inside. Jesus, open some damn windows. His social worker checked him in. Toya wasn't hesitant to hate the man. Anyone else would probably not see why Toya hated him.

While he knew it was wrong and stupid, he blamed Kenta for how his siblings didn't understand he did this to help. Surely he could have explained it better, or shown proof that things would be better now. But he didn't, he just stood by and watched Toya's brother hate him because he did the right thing.

And why did nobody tell him that? Was it the wrong thing to report abusive parents? Toya didn't think it was. He really didn't. And Hawks said it seemed a reasonable conclusion to get help if they abused, too. It was just frustrating, and he didn't spare a goodbye to Kenta. He just followed the doctor in, giving up his phone and music player. Then he unlaced his boots and was given slippers to wear around.

Much to his hatred, his piercings were taken out, even his tongue one. He made sure to remember where he saw them go, though. He was not told to strip off his underwear, so the feather he had taped to his thigh was not found. If there was an emergency or he was being treated badly, then Hawks would know.

Toya didn't like snapping his feathers. Smoking them was better. Though it would be a waste to get high on the feather for ten minutes and then not have any way to communicate. He missed Hawks already. Two weeks there. He was still getting school work while gone.

He wasn't suicidal, but he was dangerous if he lashed out. And Toya was positive both of his parents had to have said this at some point, which was why the answer was to hospitalize him. Fuck them, fuck everyone. He just stewed in his bitter thoughts, growing angrier and angrier. And he wasn't like Hawks, it was hard to hide his anger.

Once he was in his room, a camera on the wall, of course, he was given a list of daily activities for the next two weeks. Two hours a day were set for teaching. There was exercise time, then regular therapy, and after quirk therapy. He wondered what the quirk therapy would be. Nobody would want him to use his fire. Anywhere. His appearance was proof of his inability to control his flames on at least some level. Not that he'd tried fixing it. He hadn't tried practicing it because he was scared to, and was no longer hero material in his father's eyes.

He spent most of his free time with his face in a book. He felt wrong without his piercings, and worried they'd close up if they were out for too long. And he did understand, based on his self-harm, why needles would be taken away. But he missed them. Hawks' feather was constantly in his hand as he did various things.

It gave him comfort, that someone was there for him, waiting for him to come back. And while he was there, all he could think about was that nobody was waiting for him at home. What home? By the time he got back, his sibling would be in foster care. Or have found some long distant relative of Rei.

They'd be more adjusted while Toya wasn't. He sighed deeply, moving his tongue around in his mouth, hating the absence of the internal fidget he's been with him at all times. When it was food time, it was also time to hang out with others. "Socialize". And of course everyone avoided Toya. Though he didn't want to sit with some of these crusty ass motherfuckers either.

It was awful, to be honest. But at least he had a room to himself. With a window. Though it was the third story and there was no eave. Climbing out meant death or a whole lot of broken bones. He just stared out it, nearly falling asleep when a shadow passes over the moon and the moonlight fades.

"Pst. Bitch," Hawks' voice called. "Wake up, I brought you food." Toya jolted up, and beamed at seeing his friend at the window. Literally hanging out of it over the side of the building. He had a to-go bag in his hand, waving it like a prize.

"Fuck, how'd you know the food here is shit?" Toya asked, and took off his shirt and shoved it under the door so it would be harder to open. He knew this was a bad idea since there was a camera that had to be seeing it all, and he'd get in trouble later, but he was hungry and the food here did suck.

Hawks said, "Don't all hospitals have shit food? You're gonna get in trouble for this." Toya devoured the chicken sandwich. "Figured it would be worth it, though."

"So worth it. Now go before you get caught, too," Toya said. Hawks gave him a salute and was gone. It left Toya feeling warm inside. He burnt up the evidence and laid down. There was somebody waiting out there for him, just not at home. Not that Toya had a home, or had really been living in one for a long time, if ever.

He did indeed get reemed in the morning, but he didn't really care. That visit got him through the rest of the day. And it was a nightmare. Toya couldn't do most of the exercises that was being taught. His skin just wasn't stretchy enough. He could lift weights and do cardio, but anything fancy was a no-go and would most likely result in torn staples or pinched skin.

So, basically end up in a mess. It was times like this that made him hate what happened to his body. Seeing Hawks hanging upside down from the monkeybars, doing cartwheels on the grass like a weirdo left him truly jealous of what he'd never have. A healthy body. A capable one. So, with the failures in the exercise thing, therapy was just as bad.

"Fuck off, I don't need to answer anything I don't feel like."

"That's what therapy is. But like with your family, you need to finally work through what happened to you."

"I know what happened to me. What I could have done, what should have been done. You can say all you want, but it's not gonna fix what happened. Talking through it isn't gonna get back a relationship with my family. So keep your bullshit to yourself. You're probably just some dollar store counselor. Nothing interesting or unique about you."

He was ranting, and being a prick. "Believe me, if I could be a therapist for one dollar, I'd wear that like a badge. Instead of spending tens of thousands of dollars in school to talk to little angels such as yourself."

Toya was shocked before he started laughing. Didn't sound very professional but it did break the ice. "I'm not asking you to talk to me because it'll heal you all in one go. It won't fix your life, it will only give you more tools to do it yourself. Nobody can fix you but you, but you can and need a lot of help to do it. Someone snuck in last night to give you food. Tell me about that person. They clearly did something kind for you."

Toya didn't hesitate for a second to brag about Hawks. He gushed about him, proud to have him as first a friend and then more. He didn't divulge Hawks' past or the whole smoking feathers, but he talked enough to show that he deeply cared about him. "Is he the one waiting for you once you come out?"

"Yeah. He's the only one," Toya nodded, voice soft and a hint sad.

"Then we should do our best to not disappoint, right?" Toya nodded again. He would cooperate with this guy, at least. And so the next session was not as heated, and Setko let him talk about Hawks some more, not pestering him to talk about anything personal. But eventually, he began to talk more about why Hawks was the only one to spur him to do things for himself.

It got embarrassingly mopey, but this guy was being nice and he was a therapist after all. So he got to know him more, but it wasn't like Toya was just suddenly an open book. No, it wasn't going to be that easy for him to truly open up. He didn't confess the pain he felt when his family had rejected his newly damaged body.

No, that was just a very long, very angry rant over how awful of siblings they were. He was just angry, he didn't let any other emotion come. Having somebody to rant to was good enough. After the sessions came the quirk therapy, and Toya was not as cooperative with that. He was afraid of losing control in this stressful environment.

There was no good reason for him to unleash his quirk in a confined space. Well, in a space near anything but perhaps a desert or the beach. Void of anything to burn or melt and cause damage. Though he would always be in the most danger, the epicenter of the devastating flames.

Those around him were removed when they started giving Toya nasty looks and it was beginning to truly frustrate him. "Look, I'm here to fix my fucked up head, not perfect a dangerous quirk! Just leave it be!" he snapped. The woman doing the training - attempting to do it - sighed, and backed off. Only seven days left. He could do it. The teen was released from the room and left to get a snack from the food pantry that was open at all times. It was mostly fruits or crackers, nothing unhealthy.

He took an apple and a small container of peanut butter and ate those together. Knives were not allowed, but there was one of those apple cutters that was used. It was hard to slice the apple since the blades were thick and not very sharp. He just had to press very hard for it to sink into the hard fruit.

Toya sat on the communal couch to eat, back hunched with his plate resting on the coffee table in front of him. There were magazines on the table, and he sorted through them, looking for anything potentially distracting, even if it wasn't interesting. He found nothing. When he was finished, he took the plate to the trashcan, as it was a paper plate, and dumped the apple core and empty plastic cup of peanut butter along with it.

Walking to the bathroom, he heard some mutters between other teens there. Toya would rather be alone there. Completely alone, he didn't want others to whisper behind his back, or even worse, when he could hear. "Apparently he burnt himself."

"Yeah, I did! Want me to burn you up, too?" Toya shouted angrily. "No? They shut your fucking mouth!" and he stormed away, both boys' faces white with fear and shock. Toya smirked as he made it to his room. Fucking pussys. But he got reprimanded for that later, and loss his right to walk around for the rest of the day.

Fuck this place.

-x-

Toya was breaking his rules. He'd broken out of his room by melting the doorhandle carefully, and then left. There were lights on in the hall, so he was careful to go around corners to not be seen. It was far after dinner and all of the patients should be in bed. Fuck them, Toya was tired of being told what to do.

He was refused a shower for bad behavior with other patients, so he felt gross and sweaty. He didn't get seconds also because of his bad behavior. Everyone else got a pudding cup but not him, because of bad behavior. If they weren't going to reward him for good behavior, why did he have to do so?

The desire to see Hawks again was overwhelming. His time there was almost over, he was just racing to the finish line as fast as he managed. Maybe they'd kick him out early. But he knew Hawks might be disappointed that he didn't really try other than talking with the counselor, which was the best part of the day.

He didn't like him enough to pay for him or anything, but at least someone was good in this place. Toya was following the scent of brownies. He wanted sweets, he was craving it. When he turned down a hall, he heard people talking through a half open door. He paused when he heard his counselor's voice.

"Sick of hearing of some other random brat. You're not fuckin' here to talk to others, we're trying to de-crazy you, not gossip. I'm sick of hearing him gushing about some other man like a whore." Toya's jaw clenched, and his fists balled. He was impulsive, and ripped the door open. He was glaring at him.

"So, I'm a whore?" he asked in a dark, cold voice. "And you're a fucking liar?"

The guy who he had been speaking with called for back up on his walkie talkie. Toya wasn't even doing anything, though. He wasn't on fire, even if he was angry. He didn't know what to do, how to react. Getting physical wouldn't be good. But he didn't want to back down, he wanted make him uncomfortable.

People flooded the room and Toya was grabbed roughly. But it was too much, and he was being handled too rough. Images of Endeavor shouting and hitting came forth. "Stop it! Stop it, let go!" he shouted, thrashing around in full panic mode. His staples were ripped, causing blood to come from his wounds. He screamed but his head kept pounding and he couldn't move.

Then he snapped, and erupted into fire. The people on top of him were screaming and then stronger pulses of fire came out of him, and their bodies were ash. The fire got bigger and bigger and more out of control and soon the entire hospital was in flames. It was so hot and so fast that there wasn't a single scream even though hundreds just burned to death. He blacked out before the sounds of sirens came. It had been so fast that no smoke alarms had been triggered, either.

-x-

"Toya, Toya, wake up," a soft voice said. Toya opened his eyes, in pain and confused. He saw Hawks there, and found he was in a bed in a room he didn't recognize. "Hey, babe. How do you feel? Tenzei managed to fix you up good. Does anything hurt?" Toya was still confused and looked down and saw he was in bandages.

On the other side of the bed Hawks was on there was some random person who didn't look familiar or like Toya would notice him anyways. He was remarkably plain. "Do you remember the fire at the hospital?" Hawks asked, gaining back Toya's attention.

Then it all came back. He'd lost it and the hospital burnt to the ground. "I don't… feel sorry," Toya said in a dazed voice. "They died… I don't feel sorry," he repeated. He killed a lot of people and didn't feel an ounce guilty. "They were all awful, and attacked me when I didn't even do anything. I killed all these people, Hawks."

His eyes flicked up in fear of hat his boyfriend would think, what he'd say. Hawks was frowning so sadly. He touched Toya's cheek. "The hospital was a bad idea. I'm sorry."

"Wh-Why are you apologizing?" Toya asked, so confused. And where were they, anyways? How'd they get away, how was Toya not in bars? Hawks sounded guilty, and blamed himself for leaving Toya there. "It's not your fault-"

"You only went because of me. If I hadn't cared or said anything, it would be fine," he said, looking ashamed. Toya didn't like this. How the hell could Hawks blame himself for what happened? Toya didn't even blame himself. They grabbed at him while he tried to get them off, but they kept him pinned. It was an accident, but it wasn't all Toya's fault.

"How did I even get here? Where is here?"

"An old hang out. Nobody knows where it is. It was a Commission warehouse before they were shut down. Foreclosed do to faulty wiring. I felt my feather burn and went to check it out. Took you and flew away. You were badly burnt, but Tenzei as able to reverse your wounds to a few hours ago. You'll be bed ridden for a few days from it, but they won't be any worse than before," Hawks explained.

Toya looked to the guy who healed him. He didn't ask how Hawks knew him, he just thanked him for his help. "Of course. Hawks really likes you. But you've been labeled a villain." Hawks gave him a disapproving look. Toya was deeply confused. It was an accident. He didn't burn the hospital down on purpose!

"Wh-What? I'm a villain, now?" Toya asked, voice a bit high. He was angry. But felt no fear. Just anger and deep irritation. Stupid hereos! They didn't even consider that Toya had a good reason! He was being beaten even as he cried for them to stop. Of course he went out of control in panic and fear! But Hawks confirmed it. Endeavor announced it. "What? What about the child abuse stuff?!"

Hawks and Tenzei shared disgusted looks. Toya gave them a demanding expression. They'd better not lie to him. Hawks was the one to say it. "Nothing seems to have happened. The ordeal hasn't gone public, and it's been over three weeks. I doubt it'll go public," he explained. "I'm sorry, babe," he added softly, touching Toya's bandaged cheek just barely.

He leaned forward and kissed the seething "villain's" forehead. "You should leave, then."

"I'm already branded an accomplice. They connected the dots when I disappeared from home that night. I'm sure if I came forward and turned you in, I'd be set free. But no way in fuck I'll do that… we're in this together. No, don't you fuckin' protest. It's my choice." The tingling in his eyes came, the tears wanting to fall but were denied.

Toya was so angry about Endeavor slandering him and getting away with beating his wife and children. He was still a hero. Motherfucker. Well, if he saw Toya as a villain, that's what he'd fucking get! "For now, we'll camp out here until you're healed again. Then we'll go far away." Toya touched Hawks' face, and nodded. His eyes were sad and longing to be with Hawks in a normal way, but this was better than being all alone.

He asked one more time, "Are you sure? There might not be any going back."

"Fuck the heroes and their messed up society. Maybe we can do something to change it, an unorthodox way. Besides, I was trained in the art of killing. It's not like I'm not totally averse to it. We'll do what we gotta do to live free. But if we go to prison, I'll kill myself."

Toya didn't like hearing that, but agreed that he'd do that too. Prison was not their destiny. Toya could burn himself alive, and Hawks could use his feathers to slit his throat.

"Now. Why don't we relax a bit? I think we all deserve it." The three of them got mildly high, and Toya liked the guy who healed him, even if he'd never see them again out of safety for himself. He did wonder how he and Hawks met, and why he'd never talked about him, but that could wait. It was nice to have his thoughts distracted by the betrayal he felt.

Sure, he betrayed Endeavor first, but this was much worse. Fuck him. Some day, Toya would get even. And he knew those feathers would be on his side.

---

Yes, my head cannon is that Hawks' can get high off of his burnt feathers. Why not? Lol. Hope you enjoyed.

I also want to add that I don't personally agree or believe with a lot of what Toya does and thinks. That's just his attitude and how he sees the world. Judgmental and mean.