Chapter 5: Dust

Yes, that would be the "Dust" that Craig sang to Ashley. You'll see how it's used here. Same situation as the last chapter with POV's. Begins with Ashley, will switch to Craig.

Song Credit: "Dust" aka "What I Know" by Jake Epstein, Jim McGrath & Brendon Yorke

Weeks had passed since Craig and Manny's break up, and of course he came to me to talk about it. Funny how that "friend" thing works out, all of a sudden I get to pseudo-comfort him for getting dumped by the girl that once broke us up. I say pseudo-comfort because honestly he really wasn't all that down about it, I think he just hated the idea of not having a girlfriend, and I did that whole "pat on the back" yeah yeah you'll be fine type thing. It worked quite well for us actually. I tried to tell Craig that maybe he should actually give being single a shot for longer than a few months, it's not that bad when you get used to it. He said he was planning on it. Funny how plans work out too. When you make them, you really are intent on keeping them, but something usually happens and you ultimately have to change your plans.

One day Craig calls and says they just sent him a demo of the songs he recorded and he wants to have me there to listen to it. I tell him I have plans that day but I'll come over later in the night. That's where I am now. At the door to his garage I raise my hand to knock on the door but he opens it before my fist connects with the wood, and pulls me into the room. "Took you long enough, come on." "Okay, ow, my arm should remain in it's socket, thank you." He stops and looks genuinely concerned. "I'm sorry, did I really hurt you?" "No, Craig it's fine. So, are you gonna pop it in or what?" He looks like he's going to jump out of his skin, it's adorable. "Okay, well first of all, there are only 6 songs on it, that's all we got completely finished. But I have more than that." Is he trying to give me a disclaimer so I won't think it sucks or something? "Craig. You don't need to explain about it, I don't care how many songs there are I'm sure it's awesome!" He still looks kind of hesitant, but puts the cd in the stereo anyway and presses play. It takes a second to warm up. Just as I'm getting comfortable on the couch, I hear a familiar tune, and words I could never forget.

I don't know if you'll forgive me
for being so blind to how you felt

Oh my God. He recorded this song? I can't believe he put it on there. I look up at him and he's looking at me, trying to figure out what I'm thinking. So I just smile.

don't ask me why I couldn't see it
and it'd take me years to figure out

This song carries so many memories that come rushing back to me. Craig onstage singing it to me in the audience, his apology for screwing up our relationship the first time around. Us playing it together preparing for the free recording, only to have him kick me out of the band then run out of the recording to tell me the recording studio would always be there, but he wasn't so sure about me. And the recording studio was there for him again, and me? Well, I'm here aren't I?

and that's not something I know much about
but there's only one way to find out

I really want to say something to him. But I'm overcome by the feeling to do something else. Something I know I really shouldn't do, but I find myself doing it anyway. Damn this song.

what I know
is that I hurt you, oh
what I know is that I suck
and what I know is that I'm sorry

I stand up and walk toward him, he looks confused and moves to stop the cd. I grab his hand to stop him, and use my other hand to reach around his head and place it on the back of his neck. And then I just do it.

what I know
is that I'm loser, yeah
what I know is I screwed up
and that I never earned your trust
what I know
is that everything I touch
just turns to dust

Craig's Point of View

Okay, so one minute she's listening to the song, and I think she's happy that I put it on the cd. How could I not? The next thing I know, we're kissing. Apparently this song is like an Ashley magnet. Every time I sing it, something happens with her. Okay, it's not like I made it like that on purpose, how was I supposed to know this would happen? I lose my train of thought as she pushes me onto the couch, only breaking apart from me to ask if Joey is home. Joey? Who cares about Joey? Oh, I get it. "Uh, no actually he's at Diane's and Angie is at her grandma's." She gets this wicked smile on her face that I've never seen before, I kinda like it. "Let's go to your room, then." Whoa. She wants to…okay well I guess I could have guessed that and of course I want to but… A part of me says that we shouldn't do this, it's not right right now. Then again another part of me says shut up and it's really hard not to listen to that part, it makes a really strong argument. So I take her up to my room and she pushes me onto my bed. When did Ash get so aggressive? She pulls off my shirt, and let's her newly long hair trickle down my chest as she moves to place a kiss right over my heart. I knew I was loving the longer hair.

Everything from here starts to go really fast and almost too fast where I don't quite even know what's going on anymore. So I pull away. She looks confused, and a little annoyed. I look down at her and the song she wrote about us pops into my head. Her body really is like a map, and I know this map really well. I kiss her neck, and make my way down all the way to her belly button. She stops me before I can go any further. "Come here." Don't have to tell me twice.

Of all the times we've been together like this, this has to be one of the best. Right up there with the first time. There's just something about not having her for the longest time, and then getting to be with her again. It's like the first time you have the best food in the world again after you haven't had it in what seems like forever. I love just holding her afterwards, she always always falls asleep first, and this time isn't any different. The words come out before I can stop them, "I love you." She stirs a little, but I don't think she heard me. It's okay, I think she knows anyway. And you know what? I think I have an idea for another song.