Author: Only have one thing to say "Don't kill me!"

Dear Harry,

You remember that time in Cowboys and Indian princesses where the princesses turned out to be evil and the cowboy had to kill her instead of help her. Yeah well it turns out sometimes these things happen in real life. Faith is evil and I had no choice. She accidentally killed a guy but she couldn't accept it and she kinda went schizo, started killing people and joined forces with the mayor. The mayor you say, what do you mean the mayor. Well turns out our mayor is one mayor evil dude.Wants to take over Sunnydale or something. I mean I have goals but seriously dude, you got to know when to quit.

Something I am so not proud of is whatI did next.What other 17 year old can tell you that they stabbed a slayer and sent her into a coma and then after that used the knife you stuck into said slayer to taunt the evil major who turned into a mayor snake and I mean literally to follow you into the school so you can blow it up.

So yeah I blew up the high school, highlight of the summer!Although after seeing it go up in flames, kinda pretty. Can see the addiction to the flame. heh heh... only kidding. Guess that means I have to do my final year at another high school. Yay me.

I have nightmares about Faith now. I can't handle the fact that I did it to her. On top of that, Angel decided he had to leave me. He is what I would call well what you would call a git. I mean seriously leaving me just because he can't give me a "normal life". What a git! Like I could ever have a normal life, I'm the slayer doesn't exactly scream normal now does it? It's just to see his back as he walked away, not even a goodbye. It was like some part me shrunk away deep inside and wanted to die. He isn't here to talk to anymore.

We can be just friends, hasn't he heard of friends? I mean we were friends the first two years I knew him. What I suddenly develop hormones and I can't be friends with males anymore? Then what the hell is Xander?

The people I love keep forgetting about me, or leave. You, never writing to me, talking to me, my dad leaving, My watcher dying, Faith, Angel…. I just want to die; it feels like I am dying inside Harry.

Buffy

Dear Harry,

I am writing to you from a plane. A lot has happened. It is a week since I turned 18. Guess that makes me legal there. Although it is there that I am going now so guess it is a good thing. The council has this inhumane test they do when a slayer turns 18.

But before that happened I should let you know that Faith she woke up and apart from at the start being a bitch she kind of decided to collapse, have a breakdown. We did that girly thing which was odd, and she cried and tried to get me to kill her cause she was evil. Then we talked and decided she would be alright and just needed help. So she is on the mends but not my big news. That was actually the only good thing that happened to me since my last letter, unless you count graduating but hey not counting that.

Who really cares if you graduated high school? It isn't like it is going to count towards anything.What I go to tell that vampire I am about to stake "Hey I graduated High School want to give me a degree in slaying?" Yeah right. But Faith back means there is another person like me in the world. Another person thrust into something they don't want and that understand me a little.

My big news is that the councils test involved taking away the slayers strength with a drug and then putting her up against an insane vampire. Stupid right. Gets worse. Giles couldn't handle it being my father figure and all. So he told me but not before he had already injected me with that stupid drug and then the vampire escaped and got my mom. Yes you read right again. Even as I write this once again I am in tears, it is starting to become a habit.

Anyway, when I got there, there was some running and fighting, I got the crazy vampires pills and poured holy water in a glass, he drank it with his pills and no more crazy vamp. But really how idiotic is it to have a vampire who has to take pills, pretty stupid. But the thing is when I went to help my mom; there were two tiny pin pricks in her neck.

But there was so much blood, I don't understand how there was so much blood. It stained her shirt to this red deep red colour, she was so pale. I didn't expect it; I never even realized it until a hand came up around my neck. She was so close to killing me before I slammed the stake into her chest. I must have lain in her dust for hours crying before I finally got up and went back to Giles' house.

The thing is though, it made me wonder how the hell did Xander survive the thing with Jesse. I was so close to letting her just kill me before I dusted her. It tears away somewhere deep inside knowing that not only were you the reason your mother was killed but you were alsothe reason she had no afterlife. huh who would have thought it?

We told the council where they can shove their job and Giles' told Faith and technically now my watcher to go be Faith's watcher and we pretty much packed our stuff and Giles said he had somewhere where no one will ever find us. So now we are going somewhere in England. My heart is somewhere else right now, kinda broken I guess. I can only stares at the clouds with a mild fascination thinking about my mom and hoping she is ok in heaven. Only place she could have gone. Dawn is sitting next to Giles hugging my Mr Gordo (you know that pig you saved up all that (I use quotations here cause I know you didn't get much) money to buy me that Christmas, well I still have it) and trying to not burst into tears again. I guess it is a good thing my mom left her will that Giles was to be our guardian otherwise I think the council would have something to say about us being taken away from the hellmouth.

I don't know what I am going to do Harry. My life is a wreck; everything has been slowly disintegrating since we left England. I think the turning point was of course the whole being called. I reckon I shouldn't have been called until I was at least 15, 13 is not an age to be doing such things. Doesn't matter now though I guess, you can't change the past. It doesn't seem real you know, this life. It is like I am watching from a distance. Dawn shouldn't have lost mom at such a young age, I shouldn't have to contend with vampires at such a young age, You shouldn't have to have stupid, mean relative to live with, and Giles shouldn't put up with a failure of a slayer.

That's what I am Harry, a failure. I couldn't even keep my own family from falling apart. Couldn't save my own mother…………………..

I have to go Harry we should be landing soon.

Buffy

Author note: I hope you guys liked this and don't want to hurt me too much but I did say her mum was going to die. Sorry guys about the spelling mistakes I made, this is what you get when you write a chapter at 2 in the morning. Silly error too considering I reread it and didn't pick it up, lol. I hope that makes it easier to readbloodytear89