Sean's girlfriend had red hair and green eyes. She was tall and thin and pretty in that plain sort of way but she was nice enough, and although I only saw her a couple of times I always felt guilty about the way things turned out. Afterwards, I used to think how unfair it was that I was the only one feeling all this guilt, even though I didn't do anything wrong. Well, I never intended too and I never would have if I had known the truth of the situation. For three weeks, Sean and I hung out as friends, we talked about everything. Whenever I was around him I longed to touch him. Touch his hair, his hands, his face. I never felt as though I were physically close enough to him, even when I was touching him.

I remember one night we took blankets down to the park and lay in the grass side by side, looking up at the stars. It's always been one of my favourite things to do. You can't see the stars in New York, well not like you can in Stoneybrook and it has always amazed me how bright they look there. It was one of those nights where the moon was big and there were no clouds. It had been a warm day but the temperature had slowly dropped and there was a cool breeze so we lay close together, under a blanket to keep warm. He told me he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. I stayed silent. It's one thing to want something to happen, but it's a completely different thing to contribute to the demise of someone's relationship.

"I don't want to be with her anymore." He told me.

"How come?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"I'm not interested in her anymore."

"Oh."

"I'm interested in somebody else." He said.

My heart began to beat faster.

"But I don't know if they like me." He continued on.

"They probably do. How could she not?"

He rolled onto his side and looked at me. I expected him to begin talking again but he didn't. He just stared.

His eyes were so intense, so deep. Now the thing that always got me about Sean was the affect he had on me. I'd been with a lot of guys, even though I was only fourteen and I had been in luv more then once but this was different. Whenever I had liked someone, I would get that feeling in my stomach where you feel like you have butterflies fluttering around. But with Sean I'd get that and a sense of total and complete calm. Like nothing could ever go wrong, but even if it did it wouldn't matter.

I shivered as goose bumps took over my skin.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"Just a little." I replied.

He put his arm around my neck and pulled him to me so my head was leaning on his chest. I wrapped my arm around his waist and snuggled into him. I don't think I'd ever felt that safe in my entire life, and I certainly haven't since then.

He stoked my hair and sang to me. I can't remember what he sang but I don't think I would have heard it then either because all I remember was being mesmerized by the sound of his voice. Our hands naturally entwined as we ran them together. I'd never been with a boy as sensitive to my feelings as Sean. Every guy I had been with was there for one reason. I know if I had to tried to spend the night with one of them, they would have tried to get something out of me. We didn't do anything that night, I knew that I didn't need to, but even if I had wanted too, I wouldn't have. No matter how much I liked him, he had a girlfriend.

The last thing I remember from that night was him kissing me on the forehead. After that I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up the next morning just as the sun was beginning to come up, still in his arms. Sean was still asleep so I ran my hands over his chest and stomach to wake him up.

"Hey." I said to him, whilst covering my face, as his eyes began to open.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I replied from behind my hands.

"Why are you covering your face like that?"

I felt my face going red. "I don't want you to see my morning face."

He laughed, "Morning face? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well when I first wake up, I don't look as good as when I go to sleep." I told him.

He started to laugh loudly then rolled me onto my back so he was half on top of me and started tickling me.

"Morning face? Silly girl! Did you make that up?" He asked as I writhed around crying with laughter.

"No…" I stared but had to gasp for breath, "It's… haha… what you… look li –haha- ike… in the… morning.

He stopped tickling me and looked over me with a dopey smile on his face.

"You're so sweet. You look just as beautiful now as you did last night."

I stayed quiet, no one had called me that before, it was always, "You're sexy" or "You're hot". We just looked at each other for a few moments then his face started coming closer to mine. I wanted to kiss him so badly but I kept imagining his girlfriend and how I would feel if I were her.

I grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch, "Oh my God, is that the time?"

He let out a deep breath and rolled over onto his back.

"Mum's going to kill me." I exclaimed as I grudgingly un wrapped my self from him and gathered up my stuff. I hadn't meant to spend the night out there. I had told Mum I would be home by eleven.

"Don't go." He pleaded.

"I have to, I was meant to be home seven hours ago." I said.

He nodded, "Alright, but I'll walk you home."

I frowned, "That probably wouldn't be the best idea, the last thing Mom needs to know is that I was out all night with a boy."

He stood up and took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

"I'll see you later then I guess." He said.

I nodded. We were standing opposite each other and I knew he wanted to kiss me.

I backed away, "Later." Then walked towards my house.

A part of me was even more in love with him but another part was angry with him. How dare he act like that when he had a girlfriend? And even worse, how dare he make me feel that way? When I got to the house I went around the back and tried to open the door as quietly as I could. As I was passing through the kitchen Mom appeared.

"Oh morning honey, you're up early." She said.

I sighed out of relief, she must have gone to bed early and not realised that I had never come home.

I smiled as I remembered being in Sean's arms, "Yeah I slept really well."

"Wasn't that what you were wearing yesterday?" she asked and indicated to my outfit.

"Uh, yeah it is. I just pulled it on this morning to come down to have breakfast. I'm starving." I said.

She laughed, "I should have known. You of all people wearing the same out fit twice in a row is as likely as the sky falling. How about you go have a shower and I'll make some pancakes?" Mom said

"Sure, I'll be down in ten minutes." I said as I trudged up to the shower.

My clothes were slightly damp and grassy from sleeping outside so it felt good to get out of them. I turned the shower nozzle on full blast and stood under it, willing to wash away all of my frustration towards him.