Chapter Twenty-Four: Hawkeye, The Witness Protection Agent

"Ouch!" Peter whined as MJ plucked out yet another shard of glass from his exposed back. "Can't you be a bit more careful?"

"Stop complaining. You've hurt yourself worse than this plenty of times." Mary Jane scolded. Her hands were soaked in blood from Peter's multiple lacerations, and though she loved him dearly, patching him up after every conflict was something that she didn't miss at all. "You're gonna be here for a lot longer if you don't stop squirming."

As if in direct opposition to her warning, Peter jumped at a particularly intense stinging on his right shoulder blade. "Damn it...we don't have time for this. I need to get you somewhere safe."

"You're not going anywhere until I've gotten the rest of this glass out." She replied sternly, but there was a waver in her voice that jabbed Peter directly in the chest. She sounded so heartbroken. Peter almost wished that he hadn't told her about the new Green Goblin.

"Look, about Harry..." Peter started, but he was quickly cut off by Mary Jane's reply.

"I can't believe that he'd do something like that..." Her hands halted in the middle of his back, and he could feel them trembling with the effort not to cry. "I thought he was better than that."

"He's sick, MJ. Not in his right mind." Peter tried to comfort her but he knew that it was hopeless. She had been just as close to Harry as Peter; they had even dated at one point in High School. "Whoever that guy is, it's not Harry. That's why I gotta get you out of here."

Mary Jane sighed. Somehow, even when she wasn't dating Peter, she still seemed to find herself in danger. It was like a lifetime curse or a brand seared deep into her skin - just by knowing Peter, she was in constant peril. "Yeah, you're right. I've gotten most of the glass out anyway...but I'll need to take Eddie with me."

Peter slumped over, an intense frown burrowing into his features. "Why?"

"I know you don't like him, but if Harry comes for me and Eddie's still here he'll be in just as much danger as I am."

"It's not that I don't like him...it's just that-"

"He's dating your ex. I know." Mary Jane interrupted him, and as usual, she was right. Eddie really seemed like a nice guy, and most importantly, he treated Mary Jane like a queen...but it was difficult not to resent him. Peter didn't regret the decision to break up with MJ, but he still cared for her deeply.

As if on cue, or by the power of some cruel narrator, the apartment door swung open. Eddie entered with bags full of groceries and was met with the most perplexing sight of his life - his girlfriend touching the exposed back of her ex.

"Oh, hey Eddie!" MJ said rather chipperly, apparently unaware of how compromising this scene would have looked.

Peter gave the most awkward wave of his life, but Eddie didn't return it. "Peter... What are you doing in my house? No, let me rephrase that. What are you doing shirtless in my house?"

Any excuse that could have been made immediately became clogged in Peter's throat. The worst part was that he wasn't even doing anything to feel guilty about...

"Easy, Tiger. I'm just patching him up." Mary Jane replied smoothly. "He fell down a flight of stairs and went out a window."

Any scepticism that had once dominated Eddie's features quickly shifted into concern. He could now clearly see the injuries scattered across Peter's body like gory constellations. "Oh my god, are you alright?"

MJ smiled and patted Peter's back. The boy hissed at the pain jolting up his spine. "Don't worry, it was just the ground floor."

Still relatively worried despite Mary Jane's reassurance, Eddie shuffled into the apartment and placed the shopping into their newly polished counter. "I don't know, babe. He looks pretty badly hurt."

Eddie took out two large cartons of orange juice and started packing them into their silver chrome fridge. MJ, noticing the panicked expression that Peter was wearing, silently moved towards the sink to wash the blood off her hands then slipped her arms around Eddie's waist. "He'll be fine. He's come to take us somewhere."

Eddie raised an eyebrow at this news, but wasn't going to deny Mary Jane's touch. He leaned into her embrace and Peter tried not to gag at the sight. He was happy for them...really...but he also didn't want to ever see them being all lovey dovey.

"Where exactly are we going?" Eddie questioned.

"The Asiatic Hotel." Peter quickly responded, realising that he hadn't even told MJ that little bit of information yet.

"Uh...why?"

"We don't know yet, hon." Mary Jane soothed his tense shoulders with her hands. "I'm sure we'll find out when we get there. Trust me when I say it's important though."

Peter thought that it would take a little longer to convince Eddie out of the apartment...but apparently having killer looks like MJ meant that she could persuade anyone into anything. It only took five minutes before they were all exiting the building and travelling towards the hotel. When they arrived, Annabelle and Aunt May were discussing the 'better' era of music including Frankie Valli and Elvis Presley. However, the protection that Peter had organised wasn't there yet.

Now, what do you think an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. would look like if he was coming to brief a group of your loved ones as he takes them into protective custody? Maybe wearing one of them cool jumpsuits with the straps and pouches and stuff? Yeah, maybe a pair of sunglasses too. And leather boots. Actually, I don't care what you think. I don't even care what I think, because this supervising S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was decked out in the most flattering attire imaginable as he shuffled into the hotel room, one hand clutching a briefcase and the other a cup of coffee from the Starbucks across the street.

The agent shut the door with his sandalled foot, then inhaled sharply. A pink Hawaiian shirt a few sizes too big loosely draped his frame, and a pair of khaki shorts revealed his mildly hairy legs. The group of people before him stared in silence.

"Hi. I'm...wait...hey kid, c'mere." He beckoned Peter Parker, who urgently dashed to his aid. The agent handed him the coffee then used his newly freed hand to reach into his pocket and retrieve his wallet. Like a trained professional, he flipped it open with one hand and said "Clint Barton, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D."

Eddie snatched the ID from Clint's hand, and scrutinised it as Mary Jane rolled her eyes and sighed, "Eddie...this guy's famous. I'd know his mug anywhere."

"Can never be too sure. You ever hear about a guy called the Chameleon?" Eddie warned.

MJ shot a glance at Peter, perhaps suggesting that she in fact had heard of a guy called the Chameleon, maybe even had a very close encounter with said guy due to the fact that she, unbeknownst to her current lover, was previously in a relationship with the Spectacular Spider-Man. Now, we leave the obnoxiously long sentences behind as Annabelle widened her eyes in shock.

She pointed at Clint and remarked, "You're him! You're Hawkman!"

Clint stared at Annabelle with a gaze of pure, utter disappointment that spoke volumes about how sick of being called 'Hawkguy' or 'Hawkman' or 'Birdman' he was. He straight up ignored the girl and continued. "We've gathered intelligence that's led us to believe that Harry Osborn was involved in Annabelle's abduction several days ago. Seeing as he's kind of a nutjob, we feel like anyone close to Osborn may be at risk. So to ensure your personal safety, we will provide protection to you until the matter's been resolved. Y'all cool with that?" He said, plucking his wallet back from Eddie, stashing it in his pocket, then securing his coffee with blinding finesse.

Aunt May shook her head in disbelief. "Mister Barton, what you say simply can't be true. I've known young Harry Osborn since he was ten years old, and he's always been such a good boy."

Clint stared off into the distance with a smirk and huffed in amusement. "Heh. Yeah, okay sure, grandma. So we cool, or--"

Peter cocked his head. "Hey, that's my aunt. Show some respect, alright?" He scalded.

Hawkeye, in his suave civilian dress, blinked in surprise at Peter's snappy response. Annabelle looked like a hormonal teenaged girl watching a boy band concert as she stared at Peter's tense expression.

Clint scoffed. "Woah there cowboy, I think you need a time out. Come on."

As Peter begrudgingly followed Barton out of the room, Eddie, May, Annabelle, and MJ watched awkwardly. Clint locked the door behind him and led Peter down the hall to avoid eavesdropping.

Peter exhaled in frustration. "Dude. I told you not to mention that it was Harry. Aunt May isn't going to take that well...she's going to be worried. He was at my freaking birthday party."

After a sip of his cold coffee, Clint rolled his eyes. "I don't know man, I've got so many things to keep track of. I can't remember everything."

"So when are the other agents coming?"

"Huh? Other agents? What other agents?"

"...I thought you said trained snipers were gonna be here to watch the street."

"Yeah. You got one." He said, gesturing at himself.

Peter's skin paled. "...I called you because I thought you were gonna get a squad down here or something. They're in real danger, Clint."

"I got this, bug boy. Don't worry about it."

"I don't think you're taking this seriously enough."

"Come on. Don't you trust me?"

"No."

"Good choice. Now get outta here and let me do my job. Go take care of Emerald Elf or whatever the heck his name is."

This conversation didn't exactly fill Peter with confidence, but Clint was an Avenger so he had to be at least somewhat useful...right? Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question. One that Peter didn't want to ponder any further, or he might find it impossible to leave the most important people in his life in Clint's care.