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In the hospital, Shepard found Kaidan up and dressed. To her relief, he looked like he was back to his old self again.

He smiled when he saw her. "Come to spring me, Commander? I'm afraid you're too late. I'm getting out soon."

"Glad to hear it. Dr. Michel gave you the all-clear?"

"Soon. She's … cautious. Maybe a bit too much so."

"There's no value in you pushing yourself sooner than you're ready. The last thing we want is to have you land back in here."

"No, true enough," he agreed. He cleared his throat. "I think this was on the news vids, so maybe you already know, but … I accepted Udina's offer."

"I know. Emily Wong told me. She's traveling on the Normandy now." Kaidan popped an eyebrow at that, and Shepard shrugged. "It was that or let someone else get forced on me. Emily's doing fine." She smiled. "Spectre Kaidan Alenko. It has a nice ring to it."

"Thanks. It's humbling to be the second human Spectre. I have a lot to live up to."

"Right." Shepard gave him a wry smile. "Crazy conspiracy theories, blowing up a batarian colony …"

He chuckled. "You have been colorful."

"Have you been sworn in already?"

"No. They're planning a ceremony. Udina thinks it might be a pretty big one, even with the war." He spoke shyly, as though even now he didn't think he deserved it.

"Good. I hope it's big and splashy. If I can, I'd like to be here for it."

"You off again soon?"

She nodded. "Tuchanka. Wrex has … a big favor to ask."

Kaidan whistled. "That the big favor?"

"You know it is. I think … I think maybe we can do it, and then we get the krogan to help against the Reapers, and we need them so badly."

"You think you could have convinced Wrex even without the favor?"

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe. But he's right, it needs fixing, and this may be the only time they'll ever have the leverage they need. And there's value in making it a better galaxy to save along the way. Or, at least, I have to think that way."

"I think you're right." He shook his head thoughtfully. "You know, it's strange. On Mars, I should have died. And now the promotion from Anderson, Spectre status … These are terrible days, but I hope I can make the ones to come better."

"I think you can. Even back on Eden Prime I could see how special you are. You're a good soldier." She reached out and shook his hand.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"They outfit you all right, you have a ship and everything?"

"Udina said they were going to take care of all of that."

"Good." She hesitated, then said, "I was hoping you might want to join the Normandy."

Kaidan shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Yeah, I thought about that. And … I'd like to. You and me in combat together again, Liara, Garrus, Joker … It would be nice. But I need to get out of here first, take care of a few things, see what I can do on my own. You understand, Shepard?"

"I absolutely do."

"I've been trying to locate my old spec-op squads, my students, from Biotics Division."

"You need any help?"

"Maybe. But I know how they think—I probably have a better chance at finding them than anyone else. If they made it easy, they wouldn't be doing their jobs."

"That's a good point." They looked at one another for a moment, neither sure what to say. "Well," Shepard said at last, "I should go."

"Of course. Have—have you seen … I'm sorry, I'm not sure of his name. The drell. Your ..."

"Thane."

"Yes. Have you seen him yet?"

"No, I'm on my way up now. Why do you ask?"

"I … we've spoken a couple of times. Shepard … I think he's—"

"I know." Tears sprang to her eyes, welling up before she could fight them back. "I know." She turned away, holding on to the wall as the pain struck her, the sure knowledge that every trip to the Citadel, every good-bye, every kiss, might be the last one. "I … I'm sorry. Give me a minute."

"You really love him," Kaidan said softly.

"I do. I … I've known this was coming. He told me the day I met him that this was coming, and I—I went ahead anyway, the way I always do. I thought there would be more time, I thought—I thought I could do something, change things, fix it. I'm Commander Shepard, after all. It's what I do," she said with bitter sarcasm.

"But not this time."

"No. And I—I'm ashamed to admit how hard this is."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. Losing someone we care about is hard. It changes us."

There was deeply felt emotion in his voice, and Shepard realized with some surprise that he was talking about her. About when she died. Funny how she could almost forget that ever happened.

"You'll be all right, Shepard."

"You think so? I'm not so sure."

"I know so." He put a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Because no matter what happens, you have friends. And we've got your back."

That was a comfort. He was right. "Thank you, Kaidan."

"Anytime, Shepard."